Just a Dream
by 0Life-is-a-Song0
Summary: There's only one rule to follow when you see visions. Everyone has a future, and it's your curse to see it. In Forks High School though, there are 5 students who break that rule, completely shatter it. And finding out why? It could cost you your life.
1. Lluvia Dia

_So, this is my first Twilight fanfiction, and I'm pretty excited. You can insult and compliment at your leisure, I'm not scared of constructive criticism. I do ask that you do review though, just so I know whether to continue. _

Summary: A&J, obviously. When Alice moves to Fork Washington, she knows something's off. There's a specific family that she can't seem to read the future of, and she's pretty sure one of them hates her guts. The students shun her simply because she's different in a way they can't name. Also, when there are hints at her past living quarters at an insane asylum, things don't get any better. Alice is different from these people, and she knows she'll always be different. So when someone else equally different comes along, can she open up enough to realize that her ticket to love and acceptance may come in the same hand as her own demise?

**Disclaimer- If I owned Twilight, or any of Stephanie Meyer's books, do you think I'd be writing on fanfiction? Sorry, but no.**

* * *

All good stories start with, "Once upon a time," so that's how I'll start my story. It's a fitting beginning, not because it would end in, "and they lived happily ever after," but because it's pretty surreal. It's like something from a horror story mixed with a fantasy. It's what all good stories start with, so that's how mine will start.

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Alice. Now, Alice had a problem. She could see things before they happened. She saw scary things, happy things, sad things, bad things… nothing was lost to her. She saw visions of people living and people dying, and she could even see what you were saying before you'd ever think to speak the words out loud.

She was not a happy girl, this Alice.

She lived in an insane asylum in Mississippi where her parents had dumped her after they figured there was nothing they could do for her. She was repeatedly told she didn't see visions, and that she was insane for believing in them. She didn't understand why she was forced to think this, and she didn't like the doctors treating her like she was out of control all the time.

She hated these visions, this Alice did.

She lived there from the age of 7 to the age of 15 where she was moved to a laboratory to have testing done. If she wasn't insane, they thought, then there had to be a test to prove these visions were correct. So then she was tested on for about two years until they had to conclude that they found nothing.

She hated the scientists, this Alice did.

Her parents took her home after that, moving from place to place as they tried to find some odd location that would chase her visions away. There had to be something to chase the future away, right?

I am this Alice. This is my story:

The blurs moved too fast for me to notice what they really were. Were they trees extending far into the sky? They might have been moss growing on the subtle, dull gray rocks beneath. They meshed and molded together with the speed I was going at, taking on an inhuman form. I didn't really mind the nauseating rush of earthen colors though; I wasn't focusing on them. I was simply staring through the tinted windows of my father's expedition, pretending to listen to my mother's hushed voice of worry.

_Mother._ The word seemed strange, rolling around my head like that. What did it mean to really have a mother? Maybe that was the wrong term to give her. She wasn't like other mother's… she was too worried about herself and too scared of what should matter the most. Mother's loved and nurtured you no matter what you were. No matter what you could see.

"Dear, we're doing this for your health. You'll make friends at your new school; I just know it." The air conditioner blew around my face, sending chills up and down my spine, but it was my mother's lies that chilled me the most.

"No. No I won't." _They were staring at her, faces ranging between shock and revulsion. A few moved clear out of her way to avoid her completely. The only person that was being nice was dead silent, merely pointing where she was supposed to go before disappearing into a nearby classroom. _Then, my mother's shocked face was back in the car's mirror from the visor.

"Honey, you've said so yourself, it's not set in stone." Her father spoke now, flickering his gray eyed gaze to me before turning back to face the road ahead. "If you go in with a better attitude, things will change." I shrugged and mentally disagreed with him, but I was too smart to say my objections out loud.

"I don't see why we had to move." I stated instead. My mother exchanged glances with me, tossing around ideas in her mind to find a good way to respond.

"The doctor said it would be best if we moved to a small, quiet town for you to be. The city is no place for someone with your condition." A small smile ghosted my mother's lips at the well played reply. Her hand daintily grasped her husband's, and he squoze it for reassurance.

"Why a run down little town like this then?" I watched a speed limit sign whiz past, and then a notice about the distance from the next town.

"The topography is mainly trees and woodlands. There's a beach at the nearby reservation and it's the perfect little town for you to relax in. You'll find yourself there." Her father's pride was evident in his tone, and I saw him hiking in the woodlands. I shook my head.

"You mean I won't have to see so many futures at once if I'm in a town with less than five hundred people in it?" I stated it as a fact instead of a question. My mother's eyes flashed to my father's in shock, but it cleared it quickly

"Well, that would be easier for you, yes." My mother cleared her throat. "Dear, I was wondering if… you wouldn't mind not bringing that up anymore. I'm sure if you ignore it, it will go away." My eyes flickered up to glare at my mother. Did she not know anything?

"No it won't. I can't just ignore it sometimes." I felt anger rising, but I didn't know what to do. I couldn't do anything, not unless I wanted to find herself back at the institution.

"You can't know that dear. I'm sure if you try-"

"I have tried. It won't work." I sighed and turned to the window, watching the green smudges and brown dashes fly by. Pulling out my i-pod, I turned the music up to drown out any conversation that my parents were having now. I didn't want to hear my mother's shocked hisses about how their daughter wasn't normal.

How true they were.

I, Alice Conners was not like normal teenagers. I tried to fit in; I tried to befriend everyone around her. There was just something about me that others shied away from. Despite my mother's close friends who had children my age, despite the smiles and attempts at conversation, and despite the growing desire for just one person to understand me, I couldn't fit in with anyone around me.

It didn't help when she saw their actions and plans before they did.

_Someone was staring at her. No, not staring. Glaring. No, not at her. At the wall in front of them. Every time she turned, she couldn't see who it was, but she could feel them moving farther and farther away with every second that passed. _

Like that. Someone was going to really hate me at this school. I just didn't know who. That was a first. Usually I could see faces and hear voices. Usually I could know about their futures, simply because they were intertwined with mine. Not this though.

Maybe there were others out there like me. Maybe there were people who could see the future and change it. But for now, I felt utterly alone and dismal at the fact that it was the third school I'd be going to in my eleventh grade year, and I could already see that it was going to be just as bad as the others.

Who moved to a place called Forks, Washington anyway?

* * *

Hit or miss? :D


	2. tener sed

_Thanks for your reviews! They got me thinking a little bit, so I typed this up to tide both myself, and those who like this, over. Also, I didn't dwell too much on a name because I just simply thought a last name is just a last name. But now, thanks to one of my reviewers :P I'm going to put another twist into the story. Thanks for your idea, whether you realized it or not…_

_One question though, what is an AU? I don't really know much of the slang terms, and I barely use them. I know some, but not too many. So, if one of you could kindly inform me of that :) much obliged. _

_So, moving on with the show._

* * *

My eyes roved over the house the moment I stepped foot into it. It was overly decorated, much like my parents were, and I couldn't help the smirk that stole over my face. The house would suit them more than they know. Thoughts were swirling around my head like whirlwind, visions of actions taking place that I didn't want to see. Why couldn't life surprise me? Why did it have to be full of things I knew would happen?

"Oh, this is lovely." My mother rushed past me, looking around the house in awe, surprised that it was already set up. But of course, my father wouldn't have wanted to set up on his own. He had probably paid someone in advance. My lip curled in distaste as I looked through complex room after complex room until in the back of the house I found a set of winding stairs. They curled up and around until you found yourself against a backdrop of maroon walls and burgundy decorations.

"Your room is the farthest down on the left." How had my mother gotten to me so fast? Looking past her, I saw another set of stairs I had probably missed in my disgust with the gaudy house. Stepping lightly on the cream, plush carpeting, I quickly made it to my room, walking in hesitantly. Knowing my parents very well, they probably had arranged it in some overbearing way. It was supposedly good for me to be like my family. It was good to be normal.

Not like I will ever know.

_A shadow stole across the carpet, and with a gasp I looked up in time to see something sparkling brightly before disappearing._

I froze, looking at my room with something akin to shock. Someone would be in my room. Someone I didn't know and someone that I feared. Who could it be though? I'd met no one yet, why was I seeing things that didn't make sense?

Shaking my head, I stared about the room, surprised that it was actually tastefully done. It wasn't over the top at least. Each wall was a form of the time progressing; one had a sunrise (naturally the east wall); one sported a bright noonday, the west wall depicted a deep, russet colored sunset that brought out the darker hues of the sky, and then a pitch black southern wall with a slight dotting of stars on it.

My own time zone.

Smiling vaguely, I set my bag down on the floor before walking over to the king sized bed, staring with surprise at the comforter, moons and suns dotting the navy blue covers. My parents couldn't have done this. When I had inquired, both of them had the same thought of making me set it up myself. I could have seen myself setting it all up. Nothing like this though.

"Do you like it?" A gruff voice broke my reverie, and with little surprise I turned to see my father leaning against the doorway, eying the room with something akin to dislike. Not surprised at his disgust either, I sat down on my bed, calmly waiting for my father to walk into the room to get a really good look at the room. When he didn't, his dark blue eyes surveying me too intently, I answered.

"I didn't see this. I like it." I replied easily, glancing down to pluck at the comforter. Looking over to the black cherry nightstand next to my very comfortable bed, I noticed the clock and other items that had been put into the room. "Did someone set everything of mine up?" I looked back at my now awkward looking father.

"Well, yeah. Her name's Esme, and she refurnishes old homes. We gave her the specific styles we wanted, but she obviously took some liberties on your room. "He harrumphed at this, and I could see him calling her up to yell at her, but for some reason being charmed. I couldn't hear any voice over the phone though. Puzzled, I tried to delve deeper, but my father interrupted.

"None of that here, missy. Your mother wouldn't want you to go off on one of your spells again." My father walked into the room finally, letting his eyes roam over the different styles that the lady had created for me with details that almost brought tears to my eyes.

"I was just thinking." I was mumbling slightly now, but I didn't care. He was next to my bed, so i know he heard me.

"That kind of thinking is going to have to slowly come to a close here. It's not that we don't love you, Alice, it's just that when you do that… do you realize how strange it looks? You don't want to do that to yourself, do you? I just want you to try." My father's voice was surprisingly calm, and I was tempted to believe him. It would be so simple and nice to just drop this supposed malady I had. I couldn't make friends, I only made wary enemies. I made kids at the insane asylum go even deeper into their own personal madness as I unwillingly told them the consequences of their actions. I wanted badly, so, so badly to be normal.

_He was talking; congratulating himself as his daughter slowly stopped doing the one thing she knew she was born to do._

Frowning at this revelation, I looked back up at him, making my movements jerky and uncharismatic to portray my anger. I knew this trick that he was trying to play. His guilt wouldn't work on me.

"I'll try, dad." I sigh slightly up at him and flash a smile. Surprised with me, he raises his eyebrows and backs away slightly, pleased with himself. On instinct I block out his future plans. I really don't want to see what's in store for him, and though it's slightly painful to admit, I really don't care.

"Well… that's… that's really good Alice. I'm proud of you." Patting me lightly on the head, he turns around and leaves, his steps leaving slight indents in the carpet with his heavy weight pushed down on the floor.

Sighing, I lay down on my bed, staring up at the starry ceiling with amazement. Everything is falling into place in my head, just as it should, but I'm still uneasy. I'm in a strange, foreign town where I can foresee hatred in many different ways, but I can't see why. I see dismal forests closing in on every side, and I see my future so jumbled up and crisscrossed I can't focus too much on it. All I can taste in the back of my throat is hate. There will be a lot of it, and I just hope I'm prepared for it.

"Alice? Honey, it's time to eat." My mother is standing in the doorway, but I'm not in the mood for eating. My head is beginning to hurt from me sifting through the possibilities of my new life here, and a dull throb is settling into the base of my spine. Rolling over onto my side, I turn my back to the door to make it clear I didn't want food. I hear a slight tsking noise, and then she walks away.

I close my eyes to further fall into my bubble of insanity.

* * *

The morning was dull and dreary, leaving me with an equally dull ache in the back of my mind as my dad drove me to school the next morning. This time, the green and gray blurs were separate and distinct, but it didn't do much to quell the insomnia I was feeling. My future still hadn't panned out. All I could see was making it to school.

"You'll have a good day today, won't you?" My father finally spoke, drawing me out of my pensive thoughts to look at him. Raising my eyebrows, I shrugged and looked back out of the window, but not missing the flinch he gave when I turned away. I was positive even my father was scared of me.

"I'm not sure." I whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. I could see the many small houses dotting along here or there, and it was nice to see that it wasn't a run down town. It had a slight quaintness to it, like nothing could go wrong.

Then what the hell was I doing here, ruining it?

We passed by a police man's house, my father slowing down considerably to wave nicely at the middle aged man getting into the car. I pretended to gag myself.

"That's the police chief; Mr. Swan. He's a real nice guy, but don't cross him with anything, ok?" I flashed back to the police's grave face as he got into his car, and I saw sadness in his life up ahead. It was blurry though, like it should be. I didn't know him too well, so it would be slightly fuzzy. Something about a wreck would make him really sad (A/N- Bella isn't his daughter, but he does have one. You'll see)

"I don't plan on it." I inform him, realizing stupidly that I was too late in my reply. My father didn't say anything, but I felt the disgust rippling off of him. Last night hadn't been a good night for him. I saw nightmares in his future.

We pulled up to the school slowly, my eyes glued to the many students roving around and smiling with one another. Futures began flashing around in my mind, and weakly I managed to shut them out, looking over at my father with what I knew to be fear in my eyes.

"Just be… good." My father finished lamely, his pause a bit too long for a compliment or good wishing on my behalf. Shrugging and managing a quick goodbye, I stepped out of the overly expensive car and ignored the fact that there were no other shiny cars. Not one.

People stared at me as I walked across the school lawn, obviously new and obviously alone. Their stares and whispers were like needles in my ears, but I tried to look calm and vaguely interested as I walked past the scattered friends who all paused to give the new girl a once over. It was always like this, at first.

Then, it turned to whispers of distrust. But that would come later.

The school was a simple blocky set up with a few different buildings based on academic strength and age. The main building was easy to find, and I walked into it feeling slightly confidant that I could suppress my urges today.

"Good morning." I smiled wanly at the desk lady, giving her a note that my father had probably written at his desk in his new office the night before. He was a lawyer, and was setting up his business in the nicer side of the house.

"Oh, hello. You're Alice Conners." The lady gave me a knowing smile, and I saw her getting food poisoning from the food she planned on eating. I inwardly cringed. That wasn't what I was supposed to be doing.

"Yes, I'm new here." I stood there, internally battling with myself, trying desperately to find an even ground. I could still be myself and be liked, right? Looking up with agonizing eyes, I saw the lady giving me a puzzling stare, and stupidly I realized she was handing something to me. Grabbing the papers, I managed another smile before noticing her lunch sitting nearby.

"Did you hear about the tomato scare?" I asked calmly, grabbing my overly large shoulder bag to put my papers into.

"No, why?" The lady's glance was in the direction of her tomato salad.

"The entire amount of them were contaminated. People were told to get rid of them." Standing up straight, I pulled my bag back onto my shoulder and walked out of the small office, knowing that she wouldn't be getting food poisoning anymore.

What? What was the deal with me? Why couldn't I just let her get sick like any other normal person? She didn't know, why should it matter? Turning to the left and looking down at my schedule, I began walking, dodging people on instinct as I struggled to find my first class.

"Hey there." I didn't jump or scream; what was the point? The boy had been tailing me, waiting to ask if I needed help. Calmly, I smiled up at him.

"Hi." I adjusted the straps of my bag and waited for him to continue.

"You're the new girl… Alice, right?" He grinned even wider, already knowing the answer. It was a small town, people were bound to notice. "If you need help finding your class room, I'm your guy. My name's Mike, by the way." I saw him asking me to lunch later, and I felt slightly happy that someone had taken the steps to asking me. Handing him my schedule, I nodded.

"Sure, that'd be great." I was answering to both, feeling the desire to make at least one ally at this school. Maybe if I kept him interested, he'd actually stick to asking me later. Hearing my father's words in my head, and my doctor's, I knew I needed at least one person to talk to me before others would feel comfortable enough to talk as well.

"So, how do you like it here so far?" Mike asked in a much more cheerful mood than before. I didn't want to answer with the truth; he'd probably rush away with a quick excuse, but I couldn't help answering truthfully.

"It's too wet." I sniffed delicately. Looking over at him, I saw a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he smiled too. I was safe. For now.

"Yeah, people usually think that. You'll either learn to love it, or you'll grow to hate it more and leave eventually." He seemed to be trying to condemn me to only those two options, but my mind was already setting up twenty more or so. I pushed the future back in the back of my mind. I didn't need to know. What was the point?

"I don't know yet." I felt slightly dismal at that fact, and Mike was silenced by the tone of my voice. He seemed just like a little puppy that picked up on the feelings of his master. Forget about simply being a nice guy, he was just a people pleaser. I followed him though to my first class, unsurprised when he suddenly grew very excited that we had some similar classes.

"Awesome." I said simply, and I saw him boasting to all of his friends that he was the first to talk to the new girl. He'd call me Ally to them, trying to state without saying that we were already on nickname terms. Right.

"So… where did you move from?" We were walking into the building, and I was taking my jacket off. The climate change was so different between the outside and the inside my head was spinning slightly. Why was the heat cranked up so high? Following him down the hall I touched my short pixie cut self consciously to make sure every little spike was in place. When I was with the doctors, they had me get my hair cut so that they could see my facial expressions and eyes better. To rectify the rather short hairstyle, I spiked it up in random directions (A/N- link of pic on my page) so that it would look more feminine than a simple boy cut.

"I moved… from a lot of different places. I was last in Florida." I finally responded, hoping it wasn't too late, hoping he wouldn't see behind my lies. Mike didn't seem to mind the slight delay, but I did. I couldn't read his mind, only his futuristic plans and I know how wavy those can be.

"Florida, wow." Mike whistled in appreciation, and then stopped at a door. Looking down at me, he gave another easy smile. "Here's your class. Mine's right next door. Wait for me to help you to your next class?" He seemed so hopeful, but I remembered the whole Ally thought, and I shrugged.

"Maybe. Thanks a whole bunch though." Giving another smile, I turned and opened the door, quelling my slight worry about being late.

I was. Terribly so.

Everyone's eyes turned to look at me as I stepped into the room. Curious eyes that held excited futures stared holes into my skin as I began the slow walk to the teacher at the front with a raised eyebrow. Well, not everyone's. Most of them though. I think the only ones that didn't were two guys sitting side by side. They were both looking down, up, around, then down again. Really shifty eyed I guess. As I walked to the front of the room to give my pass to the teacher, I glanced at them to see that they happened to be two very good looking guys. They seemed polar opposites of each other. From my one glance, I could see one had light blond hair that swept across his head in a messy, laid back kind of way. The other's hair was sticking up messily everywhere, and was a strange, bronze black color. The blond seemed more muscular than the other, but not in a gross, body builder way. Both seemed sleek though, and both had the emptiest black eyes I've ever seen. Their deathly pale skin and similar bruising under the eyes told me they were related. I don't know who they were, but it was obvious why they didn't turn to look. With looks like that, what else mattered to a guy? I reached the teacher, who gave me a strange smile.

"You're Alice Conners." She wasn't asking me. Shrugging, I nodded slightly and chanced a glance back at the oddly silent classroom. Were these kids dumb or something? I saw one of them planning to ask me out, and I blanched. That would be a quick shut down.

"Welcome to your AP Literature class. If you wouldn't mind sitting next to Jasper over there, it's our only open seat. Jasper, raise your hand, please?" The teacher, Miss Frasier, seemed really nice, and I saw a lot of volunteering in her future. She was a good kind of people pleaser. Looking up, I saw one of the bored, shifty eyed boys raise his hand, and dutifully, I walked over to the empty desk next to his.

It happened in that instant. A stray book caught onto my shoe. Never had I ever thought that something so inconsequential, so uninteresting, would shape the rest of my life. For some reason, all I could see in my future was pain in my wrist.

And then I knew why.

The shifty eyed boy's reflexes were fast; he caught my wrist to steady me so I didn't fall. Jarred by the jerk, I pulled back to catch myself, but then felt extreme pain as the boy almost crushed my wrist to dust.

Blindly, I tried to see, I tried to look into my future, into his, to see if he would let me go. Why was he gripping me so tightly? Did he think it didn't hurt? Blindly, I looked up, surprised that I couldn't see his future. When had this happened? When had the next few moments hardly ever been planned for me? When I had never known the gist of what would happen?

Never.

I locked gazes with him, and I saw the angriest stare I've ever come in contact with. There were no lights reflecting in his black eyes as he glared down at me scathingly, his lip pulling back slightly. What was wrong with him?

And then suddenly, he let go of me, and he was facing the bronze haired boy with the deadliest look of loathing I almost fell back down again. What was wrong with this kid? What had I ever done to him? Looking around, I realized that the moment between us had been so fast that no one had noticed his strange, scary actions, nor had they really seen him almost snap my wrist. Looking down at my injured arm I saw the tell tale signs of a bruising. Scrambling to my seat I pulled my binder out of my bag and a pen from my jacket.

I looked over at the furious youth.

And then I was filled with the thirst. A horrible, scorching pain seared my throat, and I almost was too scared to breathe. If I breathed, the pain would become worse, and for some reason I knew this. It was in the back of my mouth, the burning sensation crawling up and down me, ordering me to attack, screaming at me to end my continuing pain, but attack what? What would end the painful fire that seared my tongue and made me hold my breath? Agonizing waves of heat rolled through my entire mouth, and I was doubled over in my chair. Thankfully I was at the back of the room, and the teacher was writing on the board, her back to me.

My eyes watered from the undying inferno that withered and lashed out at my very existence, and I almost let a moan escape from my lips. But no, if that happened… I would have to breathe. And breathing wasn't allowed. Fear of breathing brought more tears to my eyes, but I pushed them back.

I was going to die.

My mind was rushing through too many scenes to see how, but now I knew my future. I was going to die, and it would be painful. No, painless. There was something that said I would hardly feel a thing. But the acid in my throat said otherwise. It said I was going to die, and I was going to hate it.

_Focus on Miss Frasier_, I thought blindly, blinking back more tears. Using my jacket sleeve I wiped lightly at the corners of my eyes, not wanting a scene. I don't know why I was feeling like this, this hell, but I was.

And I was going to die.

No, no I wasn't. Something said I wasn't. And then, anger rushed through me, and I was seeing red. I was furious, burning, but furious. I wanted to hit somebody, I wanted to rip someone limb from limb, and I wanted them to pay. Rage erupted in my mind, and I felt the impulse to roar in fury.

But I was going to live.

No, no I wasn't. My mind kept tossing back and forth from my life to my death, and I couldn't keep up. I couldn't see who was contemplating it, and I was too distracted to try. The burning in my throat hadn't let up, but suddenly, I took a deep breath from lack of oxygen, despite the protests of my feelings.

The anger struck again. Furious, loathing anger that would have given me a severe headache if I didn't have one already. Why was I feeling so angry? Why did my throat burn? Desperately I looked around to see if anyone else felt this, this pain, but they all seemed normal to me. Well, almost all of them. The girl in front of me was touching her throat experimentally, so she might also be getting a dose of pain, but what was causing it? The two other guys in our vicinity were glaring at the board with ill restrained anger rippling off of them, and another person looked depressed. What was going on here?

"Here Alice, I've got your book for you." Miss Frasier handed me the book, and blindly I took it, seeing my life and my death flash before my eyes. My death kept changing, and I couldn't keep tabs on who it was. Why did this hurt so badly? I gripped the edges of my desk to keep from crying out. Because underneath all of that anger I was feeling, a deep wave of sorrow threatened to pull me underneath its murky depths and drag me down forever. An ancient sadness bowled me over, leaving me gasping under my breath before the anger returned.

I pressed my hands shakily to my temples to ease the pressure building in on me. When was this going to end? Where was it coming from? Everything was a blur in front of my shaking vision.

And then, the pain, thirst, anger, and sadness disappeared. I leaned forward in shock and a slight emptiness took over. The building emotions had left so quickly I was surprised and left feeling hollow. What had happened to me? Looking up I realized I was gripping onto the table for support and, feeling stupid, I let go. Miss Frasier was still talking and was breaking down a sentence on the board, so I shakily grabbed my pen to copy it down. My thoughts were jumbled and I noticed the kids around us were also looking around like deer in the headlights, so I know I wasn't the only one who felt such… raw emotions. Such a tangible angst that left people quietly trying to gain their composure back had obviously been inflicted on more me.

The only difference was that I could see myself changing between dying and living. They, however, were ignorant of such a fact. As they always will be.

And then, I saw their deaths too. It was so sudden I dropped my pen and my book on the floor, causing everyone to look at me. Everyone but the angry blond haired boy. He was staring straight ahead, his hands on the edges of his seat, the innocent plastic gripped in his hands like he was about to rip it apart. His jaw was locked, mouth pursed and empty eyes glaring at the board. Slowly, his head turned until he was looking at me with such enraged, hollow eyes that my jaw dropped in shock that someone could seem so hateful towards me when I didn't even know him.

My death, and the death of everyone else, roared up against my mind. Quickly, I grabbed my book and pen and snapped back into my seat, scooting as far away as I could from him. What was his problem? Glancing out of the corner of my eye I saw the bronze haired boy gripping the blonde's arm, as if to restrain him. Could he restrain him? I didn't think so; the blond had more muscles.

The entire class time went by at an excruciatingly slow pace, so much that I could see every single one of us, lifeless and blank faced. It was some surprise to me that the bronze haired boy and the blond weren't in the picture at all. In the scenes where we lived, it was because of some assemblance of a blur stopping out deaths. But that was all I could see. It only succeeded in giving me a headache.

When the bell did ring, I stood up slowly, disoriented and still confused about my death. I turned, finding myself walking almost right into the blond boy. He was staring at me, his black eyes burning into mine with an intensity I almost trembled under. He was excruciatingly beautiful with soft skin that seemed to glow inhumanly. Even though his eyes burned with hatred at me, he was gorgeous and stunning in every way.

"Can I walk you to your next class?" My eyes widened at the way his voice sounded. It was distinctly angelic with a musical ring to it that made me yearn to hear it again. How could someone's voice sound so good? Looking into his eyes though, I could see that I was going to die. There wasn't any objection to it; it was a simple fact. There was no hiding it.

"Who are you?" I asked despite the warning bells ringing in my head. This guy was dangerous, and I couldn't help the fear that was clawing its way into my mind. So was the bronze haired boy behind him, watching us with wide eyes, and I noticed that he was equally just as good looking at the blond.

Scarily so.

"I'm… sorry. My name is J-Jasper Hale." His jaw clenched tightly as he glared at me, and I leaned back slightly, wary of his actions. What was wrong with him? Staring at him though, I slowly began to feel calm around him, and I felt silly for thinking anything was wrong. What was there to be afraid of? This gorgeous guy was asking to walk me to my next class!

"I'm Alice Conners." I stuck my hand out to shake his, and I raised my eyes to keep contact with him. I was trying to be polite. He merely looked at my hand though, and my eyes traveled down to see the bruise that his grip had left. It was large and purple with bluish tinges around the edges. When I moved my wrist, it stung a little, but other than that, I was fine. Why was he looking at my wrist like I had personally offended him with it? The calmness was leaving, giving me the panicked feeling from earlier, the feeling like I was about to die. What was going on?

He was leaning down to me, and vaguely I wondered where our teacher was. Wouldn't she want to usher us to our next class? I felt flustered and worried, but I could feel someone trying to tell me otherwise. Looking back at Jasper, my eyes grew wide at his facial expression Fury and desire dominated the planes of his gorgeous face.

"Jasper." A pale, slender hand reached out and grabbed his shoulder. Jasper froze, his face twisted into an agony before he turned to face the bronze haired boy. Their eyes locked with each other before they blinked, looked at me, and walked quickly out of the classroom.

I fell against my chair, my life quite literally flashing before my eyes.


	3. Perdonale

_So, thanks so much for your reviews! I was totally happy to see them, and I hope I can continue to keep up the good work you guys think I've done! I just love looking into Alice and Jasper; they have the sweetest love to me._

_Anywho, thanks so much for explaining the AU stuff and the cannon thing. That really cleared this up, and yes this is an AU then. No, it will definitely not be a slash, though they don't particularly bother me, I'm not going to write one. :P_

_Anywho, I'm going to be changing some things up again, but I still want to try to capture an original essence. So, let me know what you think when you're done, and I'll try to update soon!

* * *

  
_

I made it to my next class late, of course. By the time I managed to find where it was, I was 15 minutes tardy and the entire class was staring again as I walked in. I was too disoriented really to care about their stares, and I think it caused my slightly ok reputation here to plummet. It was bound to happen anyway, so I wasn't too concerned. The teacher was glaring down at me from his thick glasses, and I saw in his future that he would be eating alone by himself tonight. Mr. Varner, apparently, lived alone in a run down house with his cats, and he had nothing going for him but to make student's lives miserable.

"I don't tolerate tardiness in this class, missy." He glared at me, and I saw myself getting a detention. Shaking myself out of my funk, I stared back at him, but forced myself to be polite. It wouldn't do good to get on this guy's bad side.

"I'm new here, so I got lost." I explained calmly, pushing back the morbid thoughts in my mind. Mr. Varner raised his eyebrows at me before he looked down at the pink slip in his hand that he needed to sign. Glaring up at me, he harrumphed loudly and signed it, grabbing a calculus book for me and handing it over begrudgingly.

"Find an empty seat." He said before he walked arrogantly over to his blackboard to continue his lecture. There were a lot of empty seats in this class, but I didn't need another episode made public so I grabbed one of the seats in the back. As I walked down the aisle, I mentally assessed everyone who was in my class. I recognized Mike, and some guy from my class before, and both waved at me with confusion and familiarity. I saw a confrontation up ahead about why I abandoned Mike though. It would be all smiles on his part, but I couldn't see my reaction. I wasn't thinking about it.

Making my way over to the empty seat in the back of the room, I sank into the chair and looked up at the board.

"We're on page 341." A soft, beautiful voice interrupted my train of thought, and startled I looked over to see another stunningly gorgeous person. This one was female however, and she wasn't glaring daggers at me. She had the same abnormally pale skin that the other two had; the bruises under her eyes were less prominent though, making me wonder if she actually had a good night's rest. The others probably hadn't. Or maybe they got into a fist fight? Either way, she seemed less weary, or wary. Her dark brown hair fell in curls past her shoulders, framing her flawless, smooth face. Instead of black, demonic eyes though, they were a warm butterscotch color that seemed open and friendly.

"Thank you." Looking at her again, I noticed she seemed to have a slight smile on her face as she gave me a quick once over. She wore nice clothing, the designer kind, but she wasn't comfortable in it, I could tell.

I also couldn't see her future.

What was the problem with these people? Were the overly beautiful ones immune to my gift? I could see everyone else's futures just fine, but these inhuman peopel seemed immune to my charm. In a manner of speaking. Laughing inwardly at my bad pun, I struggled to find out what exactly we were doing in this class, but I couldn't focus. My thoughts kept going back to what happened in my literature class. What was that kid's problem? What did I do to deserve that? He couldn't know what was wrong with me, he didn't even know me! Maybe he thought he recognized me? But why would I see my death from that?

"Alice, do you know the answer?" I jerked out of my reverie to realize Mr. Varner was glaring at me with smug arrogance on his brow. I saw him calling his mother to tell her about his authority in the classroom.

"Uh…" I looked down at my book to see the question, but I had no idea what the lesson was about.

"X would be 6." The musical voice whispered to me, and I could hear the honest help in her voice. Glancing over at her, I furrowed my brow when she nodded in a smooth, unnoticeable way.

"X is 6?" I said it more as a question to make it seem legitimate. Mr. Varner glared at me from his glasses, trying to find a way around my obviously right answer. He wasn't going to call his mother anymore tonight. She would merely laugh at him. This he would tell himself over and over again as he ate by himself in a shabby dining room. Glaring at me, he turned back to the board to begin talking again. A kid turned around to congratulate me, thought better of it, and then proceeded to fall asleep.

"Thanks so much for that." I whispered to the goddess sitting next to me. Turning to see her reaction, I saw a small smile on her face as she faced me slightly as well. Crossing long legs, she folded her arms and leaned in.

"The trick to this class is to know what he's going to ask before he does." She advised, the notes she hit with her soft voice making me dazzled. When I got around to hearing her words though, I had to laugh silently. Out of all the people who would be able to see what he was going to ask, who would be able to succeed at it the best?

Me, of course.

"Does that work for you?" I whispered back, trying to keep the smug smile off of my face.

"Just by the look on his face, I can tell. It will get easy with time." She smiled and turned back to the teacher, raising her hand and saying calmly, "That's a false statement." Before winking at me.

"Yeah, "I muttered to her, turning back to face my book of numbers, "Easy with time… right."

Mr. Varner then wrote a page number on the board for homework before he turned around to sit down and grade papers. I saw him failing half of the class for not showing their work in legible writing, and only one A would be present in the stack of papers. The name was blurred out though, for some odd reason.

"You just moved in yesterday, didn't you?" The girl's voice pulled me out of my confusing visions and back into the present where I saw a few people turning to stare at the average new girl conversing with the absolute "babe" sitting next to her. Really, these kids didn't have originality in their thoughts. Babe? How 50's male.

"Yeah, how did you know?" I leaned back and tried to avoid actually looking at her face because it seemed to distract me to do so. You could get lost in the perfection, and I didn't want to be struck dumb.

"My mother was the one who did your house." She seemed hesitant to speak to me suddenly, like she thought we were being listened to.

"Oh! I love the way she did my room; you'll have to thank her for me." I looked over at Mike who was staring back at me discreetly, tossing the idea of talking to me now or not. I hoped the future would pan out with my best interest at heart.

Him staying far away for the second.

"She'll love to hear it… she was worried you wouldn't like it." The girl laughed lightheartedly, and my ears felt strange to hear such a perfect sound.

"Rest assured, that's the only thing I've liked about Forks." I felt bad for saying anything morbid, but I couldn't help it. The chick brought the honesty out of me.

"You don't like Forks too much?" There was something smug about her tone.

"It's really rainy… and everyone stares at the new girl a lot." I felt like doing a palming motion. I was worrying about being stared at, sitting next to Aphrodite? Maybe I didn't mean to say it. It was a wall I've put up a lot; lies kept people at bay.

"At least the crime rate it low." Ok, that had to be sarcasm. Peeking up at her mischievous smirk, I seconded that thought.

"I don't think I'll be able to keep a secret here." And that, I knew, was a total bull shit lie. Yes, the people would be in my business. Yes, they would probably know any crush or conspiracy from my household. Yes, they would see my father's revolving bedroom door and whisper and point at my oblivious mother.

But no, they'd never know everything.

"To be sure, there's no secret Fork's doesn't know about." It was her response that befuddled me the most. It sounded innocent, but an innocence that was a bit too carefree. There was something double edged in her statement that made me turn and face her dead on, trying in vain to see her future. She was hiding something, and it showed in the way her lips curled up in a knowing smirk, and her gold eyes hinted at something deeper. Desperately, I tried to see her future, but I knew it was to no avail. For some reason, there was a block on her mind.

Feeling cheated about something, I turned back to my calculus book, trying to ignore the weird smile on the girl's face and the strange way I felt around her and her siblings. They had to be siblings; who else would look so similar?

My head hurt with the thoughts that kept swirling in my head, and I was sure my mind was close to exploding. Today was just not a good day. Well, at least that part of my condition was still working just fine. I wasn't wrong about that… yet.

"Alice?" I jumped, startled for once to see Mike standing over me, puppy dog eyes on in full force. I raised an eyebrow at him, clearly confused, but he only grinned wider, exposing bright white teeth.

"Yeah?" I saw his question right before he worded it, and I struggled to find a polite reply.

"Why did you wait so long to leave?" His grin wavered a little, making me feel slightly bad that he was waiting on my so much. But then I felt my cynical side kick in, telling me he shouldn't be so dependent on a measly new girl to get him a little more popularity.

"I was asking the teacher about how her class was run." I smiled apologetically at him, shrugging my shoulders and closing my book. Calculus would have to wait. "I'm really sorry I missed you showing me where classes were; I got a little lost." I was glad to know I could still lie easily after being prodded for the truth so much.

"Oh… well, you're going to eat lunch with me and my friends, right?" His grin widened again, and I was sure he would swallow me alive with it.

"Uh sure, that would be great." I smiled back, but suddenly he leaned in, eyes wide with a secret. I shifted uncomfortably at the close proximity; what was with these kids in Forks?

"I heard you ran into trouble with Jasper Hale in class." He whispered, glancing over to the pretty girl before looking back at me. I nodded slowly, but I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to brush it off. I didn't need that to become the reputation that preceded me. And why was it his business anyway? Sure, it scared me a little... ok, a lot. But I could handle it.

"Yeah, it was nothing big though." I saw his idea to tell people about Jasper changing, now that it didn't seem that big of a deal. He would make up something about Jasper and his old family. Wait, what old family?

"I thought it was big." He shrugged, matching my lack of enthusiasm to the subject. "According to Steven, he looked like he was about to kill you or something." Mike laughed, and I returned the gesture, but I felt kind of like mine was a little fake. I was quickly gathering that Mike wasn't really the smart guy; he didn't notice.

"I guess… maybe he was having a bad day?" I really didn't want to talk about it. The more I did, the more visions I began to have of my topsy-turvy life. It still hung in the balance between life and death, but the death was not as gruesome anymore.

At least that could comfort me.

"We'll see at lunch. I think he has the same lunch as we do." Mike smiled and leaned slightly to the side to seem cool and laid back. Again, gag me. He was laying it on a little thick, and I didn't want to see what he thought our plans would be in the future.

"Newton! Get back to your seat!" Mr. Varner seemed to notice the boy leaning over my desk, and I thought I would run up and kiss the guy who kind of saved my butt. As Mike sulked back to his seat, I sighed and leaned back, stuffing my books into my bag.

"Jasper was glaring at you?" I glanced up to see the girl looking at me with wide, surprised honey eyes that seemed to jolt me into answering honestly.

"Yeah, I was surprised." I blurted, but I wanted to stop myself the moment it came out. If my assumption was correct, they were related, and family didn't like people cracking on their relatives.

Well, almost all families. Mine not included. I looked up at her, waiting for the moment where she'd start in on me, and I'd have to get right back in her face, but she surprised me. Instead of looking angry… she seemed worried.

"What kind of glare was it?" She seemed genuinely worried for my response, or maybe I was just imagining it? No, her expression was too guarded to seem like surprise or wonderment. She was wary, testing the situation before she jumped into it.

"Well, I thought he was about to snap my wrist off when he grabbed it. It's nothing big, like I told Mike. Literature was just awkward." Where was this honesty coming from? Why was I compelled to spill my guts to this girl? Her eyes widened slightly, and she grabbed my arm, suddenly inspecting the bruise on my wrist. I winced when she touched me; it was a frigid cold that shocked my nerves and left me slightly shivering. If she noticed, she didn't say anything about the cold, but she did seem to be trying to rectify the situation.

"My brother- I'm sorry, he, I mean- he's never been-" The bell rang, drowning out her sweet and worried voice, startling me into jumping against her grip. I looked up at her, but I was once again shocked into jumping.

She wasn't there. Frowning, I turned to grab my bag and I stood up in time to see her turning the corner out of the doorway.

* * *


	4. Voy a Morir

_Thanks sooo much for your reviews! I'm glad you guys are enjoying the story, and I'm pretty happy I've been able to update so quickly. My other stories are notorious for taking forever to update!! Anywho, I had to add another Cullen into the mix, it was too tempting to just submit her to Mike's awkwardness. Yeah, he is kind of a creep, but that's just how I've seen him throughuot every book Stephanie Meyer has put him in.  
_

_Anywho, I'm slightly concerned with how the last part of this chapter will play out for you guys, so please review and tell me what you think of it :P I don't know if it was too much, or just enough to drive the point home. I don't want to overdo it, but I don't want to underplay their interactions either. With that done, read and enjoy!

* * *

  
_

My next two classes I can't say too much about. It was a blur of people's stares, whispers running along me on all sides, and a very over eager Mike Newton who decided to tell me the dirt on everyone who surrounded me, staring at me like I was a novelty toy. Really, if my death had suddenly reared its ugly head in my mind again, I might have welcomed it.

It didn't though. Life seemed to be pretty strong and unwavering with the upcoming events for me, but I was still confused as to why it would happen. What was in Forks that had been sending my morality rate sky high?

My first guess was, of course, Jasper. That kid seemed to have it out for me. I don't know what I did to him, but his stunning face loomed in the back of my mind as something to be wary of. He didn't mean well for me. And then his sister –I had never learned her name, I was figuring out- seemed so worried with placating me… it was surreal. And then, of course, their looks. How could three people be so gorgeous that it was almost painful to look at them?

Walking down the hall though, Mike at my heels, I knew I was trying to block out my visions. I didn't want to get another headache focusing too much on something that was to be, and not what was now. Like how Mike was about to trip over something and fall on his face, breaking his nose.

"Watch out." I said in instinct, my pace staying the same. Mike looked down at me in surprise, and then at his feet. Suddenly, he went flying, sprawling out and falling onto the floor, sliding a few feet until he inched to a stop. Realizing my mistake, I turned around, eyes wide, hoping he didn't notice that I said the warning way too early to be normal. See what happens when I'm stuck in two very different realities? I can't determine which one to respond to. It all just kind of tumbles out of my mouth. Word vomit.

The people around us were laughing and pointing, their jeers directed more towards Mike than anything, but soon they noticed the wide eyed girl standing awkwardly near him. Their gazes turned angry, and I knew they suspected me of sabotage. I see one of them soon telling the story as me tripping me and injuring him on purpose. There goes my reputation.

"Are you ok?" I bend down slightly to check him for any real harm, trying not to touch him though. When people come in contact with me, I see their futures much more clearly, and generally against my will. At least when I keep my distance, I have a choice on some of the things I see.

Mike wasn't too injured; it was mostly his pride anyway. He wouldn't be telling his friends about the bruise that would show up along his cheek and jaw by the end of the day though; that would be too embarrassing. Maybe he'd claim to get in a fist fight? That part was slightly unclear. He stood up quickly though, grabbing his books and trying to brush it off as nothing.

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" He gave another cheek aching smile and began walking again, nodding and chattering away like a chipmunk. I nodded and smiled slightly back, feeling more tired than amused with him. I wasn't sure if I could hang around someone who didn't seem to feel anything more than happiness and eagerness. If I needed something like that, I would have bought a golden retriever.

The cafeteria was crowded and loud as soon as he pushed open the doors leading to it, giving an echoing cacophony that surrounded me both in my ears and in my mind. The amount of enthusiasm put into their interactions here was slightly daunting, and it momentarily subjected me to seeing multiple futures at once. I'll admit, it was dizzying.

"Over here, Mike!" A very enthusiastic girl raised her hand and waved us over, her ponytail bouncing on top of her head. I didn't understand why people would want to pull their hair up right on top, but it seemed to be a fashion in Forks. One that I was never going to participate in.

"That's Jessica. She's a great friend." I saw him ignoring her for most of lunch, and I winced. She may be a good friend, but he wasn't. Walking pasta few round tables we reached a long table against the wall where small clusters of people sat close to each other, letting a few spaces stay open to avoid going into each others bubbles. Mike motioned me to where the lunch lines were, and after setting out stuff down we went and got a generic PBJ, chips, carrots, and milk.

"How are you liking school so far?" Mike seemed to be trying to keep me from talking to anyone else. He was keeping the attention drawn to him to avoid the others who seemed so interested. Like I said, novelty toy.

"It's very laid back." I lied as a small group of boys rushed past, shouting and yelling about a joke. If Mike noticed, he didn't say anything. I think my tone may have silenced him though because he didn't reply, and I was glad for it. I wasn't sure if I would be really paying attention to anything he said anyway because at that moment the girl from calculus and the bronze haired boy waltzed into the room, flanked by two other beings of the Parthenon.

"Mike…" I finally chose to speak, "Who are those kids?" The two complete strangers were a boy and a girl, and I guessed that they must be close from the way they were holding hands and leaning in to each other. The boy was tall and thick like a body builder with biceps that would make Hulk Hogan drool. His t-shirt was stretched tight to show more definition, but like the others he was deathly pale. He had golden eyes like the calculus girl, but it was underneath short, curly brown hair, almost like an overgrown angel. There were deep bruises underneath his eyes, like he hadn't slept in years, but he was still just as good looking as the others. Even for his size, he moved graceful, like a hunter.

The girl he was holding hands with made every girl in the room crumple under her fierce gaze. Her beauty was so finely detailed and seen that it practically radiated from her in waves.

She knew it, too.

Her light blond hair was like Jasper's, except it was long and loosely curled in ringlets that came down mid back with bangs that framed her oval face delicately. She had full, thick red lips that were pursed in annoyance as a few girls covertly snuck envious glances at her, and I actually didn't blame her. Getting stared at was giving me the creeps too. Instead of being tolerant of it (it wasn't their fault she was gorgeous) she was angry about it, and I guess that she was voicing her opinion in her boyfriend's ear. She was also pale, but she didn't have such colorful markings under her subtly topaz eyes. They seemed a lighter shadowing that didn't take away from her beauty at all.

I couldn't read their futures, either.

"Oh… those are the Cullens." Mike didn't seem surprised that I had asked, but he didn't seem happy I was asking. "They're all adopted kids of Dr. Cullen and his wife" I blinked in surprise at this, but it made more sense. Now, the body builder and the model could date without incest. Though, that did sound pretty weird. Adopted siblings dating.

And I thought I had issues.

"But who are they?" I repeated in slight annoyance he wasn't giving details. It wasn't that hard to inform me of names, and why they all looked alike if they weren't really related.

"The big guy is Emmett, and he's going out with Rosalie Hale, the blond who hates everyone." He sounded like he knew personally of that, and I couldn't help but smirk. "They're both seniors. That's Edward with the bronze hair, and his girlfriend is Bella. They're both juniors, and then there's-" Mike paused and looked around as we walked slowly to our seats. "Well, there's also Jasper Hale, and he's Rosalie's real brother. But he's not here… I wonder why…" Mike craned his head, not noticing my wide eyes and dropped jaw as I sat down. There was no way. I refused to believe it. Looking up with suspicion in my eyes, I gazed around the cafeteria, looking closely at every blond. Sure enough, Jasper wasn't there.

I looked down at my tray, feeling annoyance settle into my gut. Why was Jasper not here? Had I seriously offended him so much that he hadn't gone to lunch, thinking I'd be there? I ground my teeth and looked back at the crowd around me. Mike was making introductions, and I couldn't miss this, even though I was grinding my teeth together in anger. There was no way that was my fault.

"This is Jessica, Angela, Ben, Conner, Erik, Randy, and Courtney. Guys, this is Alice." I looked up to meet all of their curious, probing eyes. Well, at least two of them weren't completely hopeless. The girl named Angela and the boy named Ben seemed to be good people who merely glanced, smiled shyly at me, and then looked back at their food. I saw them getting together in their future, courtesy of Ben. Angela would turn red and stutter a yes before he hugged her lightly, kissing her on the forehead, and walking her to class. It was so cliché cute I had to smile.

"So Alice, how do you like Forks?" Jessica asked brightly, her brown eyes sparkling with the desire to learn. Another gossiper. Great.

"It's very wet." I said again. That would probably become a repetitive kind of response, the answer short, sweet and to the point. I wanted them to not fear me, but I didn't want them to know anything too personal about me.

"That's what Mike said when he moved here. I so think that it's an ok place, but when you're trying to straighten your hair it- are you staring at the Cullens?" Jessica's voice sounded amused but an adult with a child kind of way. I glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow. I actually wasn't, but now that she mentioned it, my eyes immediately found the strange family sitting by themselves at a round table. They sat near each other, only using half of the table, but no one bothered to fill in the spaces, or the round table next to theirs. Edward and Bella, the girl from Calculus, were holding hands above the table, but they weren't looking at each other. In fact, they were looking anywhere but at the food in front of them, or at each other. Emmett, the body builder guy, and Rosalie the goddess were sitting right next to them, but instead of just staring around, Emmett was picking at his food with pale fingers while Rosalie glared around the room with folded arms.

What a happy family.

"They're just interesting." I shrugged and gave a twisted smile to Jessica and the rest of the table that was staring at me with pitying eyes. They knew something I didn't. I glanced back at their table, and their postures hadn't changed, with Edward as an exception. Instead of just staring around the room aimlessly, his eyes were trained on Bella, his head tilted towards her, giving us a good view of his side profile. Bella's lips were moving, but it seemed almost too fast for real words. Was she whispering something to him? It was surreal to watch them interact, Bella's eyes still staring around the room while Edward gave her his undivided attention.

"Yeah, but don't bother. The only one who doesn't have a girlfriend isn't looking for one either. I'd hate to see you get hurt." Jessica sniffed and gave the table a baleful glare. I fought the desire to laugh at that; it was obvious she'd been rejected as well. I chanced another glance at the Cullen table just in time to see the Edward guy smiling too, as if he had heard a funny joke. Huh. That made two of us.

"I'm not looking for a boyfriend or anything. I've just never seen-"

"Anyone look so good but so angry? I know. Esme, their adopted mom can't have kids, so she and Dr. Cullen went around trying to find the perfect kids. Look at them now." Jessica was verging on completely rude, and I was glad that they couldn't hear. There was giving interesting facts, and then there was being a complete idiot about it. She was the latter.

"Wouldn't it be good that she was adopting people?" I asked, ignoring the way the table was now staring at me strangely. What had I said? These people were seriously touchy about others saying something out of the ordinary. I sneaked another glance at the picture perfect table. Rosalie flicked her hair and Emmett gave out a big, booming laugh that made a few people turn their heads

"You're so strange, Alice." Jessica giggled to lighten the insult, but I saw her telling her other friends about how weird I was. Ok then, forget fitting in. These kids with their close minded attitudes were not going to fit in well with me. They'd do well to get to know my parents. I sighed softly and frowned as my death loomed in the front of my mind, big and confrontational now that nothing was there to distract me. Just perfect. The last thing I wanted to see right now was the only thing I could seem to be able to focus on. I pushed my forgotten food away, towards Mike who took it without a second thought. Laying my head in my arms, I closed my eyes to try and see where this vision would go. Hopefully, I'd get some answers.

_It was forest completely covered in green. The trees and the earth beneath had been completely cloaked, giving off a clean, fresh smell, but it also softened my footfalls. I was walking, completely unaware as to my destination, but for some reason I was calm and untroubled about this revelation._

_I walked around a tree stump, hearing something calling to me. I couldn't really hear it, but at the same time I sensed I was being called to. I looked back behind me where the trail was slowly disappearing, but I was ok. There was nothing but the soft quiet of the woods and the muted sounds of the wind through the branches of the trees. It was peaceful. I was relaxed. I was ok. There was nothing that could go wrong. _

_And then it struck. _

I jumped up, blinking rapidly and staring around the cafeteria, my senses muddled from the quiet vision to the suddenly loud and echoing ring of metal on metal and teenagers hormones driving their actions. Swallowing slightly in apprehension, I found my eyes roving along the lines of the tables until I once again found myself staring at the Cullen's table. What was wrong with me? This time though, Edward was staring at me with the strangest look on his face that I've ever seen. It was a mix between horror and surprise, and if I didn't know better I'd say that my secret was out. But he couldn't know about that. If he did, my life would quite literally be over. It would be back to the institute for me, ending what little freedom I have. If that happened, I'd be over. Dead. Finished. Forget about freedoms and rights to speak my mind. I'd be in a straight jacket in a room that chained up more than someone's body.

It killed your mind.

I inwardly shuddered at the thought of being back there around those who couldn't control themselves. I didn't want to be subjected to people talking over me like I was dumb. I didn't want to have to lie to my parents and smile at them like they really mattered to me. Because they didn't. They were parents in the sense that they were the ones who birthed me.

That's about it.

I could almost feel the walls closing in on me, threatening to suffocate me and lock me away. I couldn't be locked away. I didn't want to leave the horrible, quaint town named Forks, where strange, good looking guys looked at you like you had killed their puppy dog. It meant I had free will to be here. Being out of that institute gave me the freedom to run away, or stay at my leisure. And surprisingly I wanted to stay in this weird town. The people were simple minded, but they were still free. Something I wanted to relate to, so badly. My thoughts were out of control and slightly loopy, making me give a strange half smile. I was losing it.

And I was still staring at Edward.

But I think I was justified. He was staring back at me too, black eyes trying to find something about me just by locking gazes. It was like he thought he could pull my innermost thoughts out and lay them on a board to study. Desperately I tried to see his future, or any of his family's for that matter, but it was another failure. Frowning, I watched as he broke away from my awkward stare to turn his head to the left where Rosalie and Emmett were leaning in towards each other.

And then, Bella was staring at me. I watched her watch me, surprised that my heart rate was accelerating. There was something off about all of them, but what was I going to do? Besides literature class, there was nothing really wrong. Did it matter?

"Alice, are you ok?" Mike was giving me funny looks, and distractedly I glanced over at him, giving him my obviously divided attention. I saw him avoiding me in the future. I must be giving the normal kids the creeps with my distant eyes as I saw both their actions now and their future plans.

"I'm just a little tired." I explained hollowly, glancing back to see Bella still staring, but her head tilted toward Edward's. I noticed now that they didn't seem so inattentive and distant with each other since I was staring. Was it an act? But no, Bella gave a friendly smile at me, and I shrugged. So they were bored with school too, what kind of problem is that?

The bell rang, making me jump out of my shoes almost. Seriously, it was a random, jarring sound that almost made you clench your teeth. Standing up, I looked down at my schedule before grabbing my bag and leaving the very awkward table. I saw them all avoiding me in the future.

Well, all except Angela. She didn't seem to mind, and I saw her asking Jessica to stop making fun of my spacey attitude. Maybe I'd invite her to my house.

I saw that as a quick shut down on my parent's part.

The Cullen's still hadn't moved from their table, Edward playing with his roll on his tray as he slowly pulled the bread apart with crafty, pianist fingers. They were long and tapered, spider like almost and held in a way that just screamed musician. As I walked past though, the words out of the Cullens' mouth were less than musical.

"If anything, he can just get rid of her if it's too much." Rosalie was speaking, and though she sounded angelic, her words were riddled with spit fire that made my blood run cold.

"She's done nothing wrong, Rosalie. I can see almost why he's so tempted, but that's because-" They all stopped talking as I walked right past their table, and I felt their eyes on my back as I walked out of the cafeteria to my next class.

Then, when I was sure they had left the cafeteria, I walked all the way across the now empty cafeteria to go the right way to my next class, hoping no one noticed my blunder.

* * *

When the last bell rang, I was the first out of my seat in history class, grabbing my school books and shoving them quickly into my bag before I power walked out of the classroom, dodging the longer legged people. I was happy to note that though I was merely five feet tall, I could walk farther than these lazy, slow people. Or maybe it was my panic to get out of school?

The last few classes were especially painful. I don't think I had any clue as to what the teacher was talking about because, let's face it, my mind was stuck more on what the Cullens had to say. If I took it farther into context, I could assume they meant, 'get rid of,' as in kill, but I couldn't be too sure. Maybe if I could see their future, I would be able to give a definite answer. But I was slowly noticing that I would be forever blocked from their next moves. For once, I was disappointed about not knowing.

Holding my pink slips in my hand, I weaved my way to the office, knowing the lady would ask me about my day. She would smile all nice like and then ask around about how I was adjusting. A very nosy woman. At least I would be able to avoid the cold and chilly rain. Though it didn't mess up my hair like it did for all of the curly haired girls or the ones who straightened their hair, it was still a miserable feeling to take a slow and cold shower.

Opening the door, I walked in and saw the lady arguing with none other than Jasper Hale.

"I would like to change all of my classes." Jasper's voice was quiet and soft like a cat's purr, but there was a double edge of venom on the side of his lips as he leaned on the desk near her. "I think the material is too easy, and I need more of a challenge."

"You're in almost all advanced classes, Mr. Hale. You can't just switch, and even if you could, it would be to lower classes, not higher ones." I felt bad for the tomato secretary who looked positively flustered as she stared at him. I'm sure she was looking into his black, empty eyes as she tried to collect her thoughts.

"I don't care, as long as I get-" Jasper suddenly froze, and slowly he turned, soulless eyes meeting mine as I stared at him in shock and slight revulsion. He was bullying the lady into getting what he wanted! She was practically blubbering in her chair, mouth gaping as he turned his satanic stare on me.

"Here are the slips you needed." I walked past him slowly, keeping my eyes trained slightly on him as I set them in the small tray that was labeled, 'pink slips,' before I turned and smiled at the lady.

Pretending not to notice my death looming before my eyes. Again.

It was definite now. Except the place was now, in this room, at this time. I could feel panic starting to rise in the back of my throat as I turned my head to stare at the fuming blond haired youth who looked ready to rip my vocal cords out. Confusion clouded my mind slowly, a toxic gray mist that swirled around my thoughts and choked them, leaving me breathless. All I could see was Jasper, his pale face becoming darker with a strange emotion I couldn't name. Was it hunger? Was it fury? I couldn't think straight, and I was sure that this was it. My mind screamed, but I couldn't find it in me to speak. Something made me scared to open my mouth.

I couldn't breathe.

"Jasper, come on, we're waiting on you." The door flew open, and Edward and Bella was there, Edward's gaze hard, Bella's pitying. The confusion flew from my mind, and I could breathe again, taking one look at the situation before I readjusted my bag and tore out of the room. Edward and Bella both maneuvered out of the way so I could make an even speedier getaway, but I was too flustered to thank them. I couldn't stay a minute longer with the way my death was looming ahead of me. It was inevitable now. Unwavering, and clear as noonday sun. Well, not noonday sun in Forks.

I was half walking half running towards the Excursion that was parked calmly on the side of the road where my father was. He was the one picking me up? I picked up my pace, feeling something looming over me that made me feel desperate to get away.

"Watch out." A pale hand shot out and slammed into my books, letting them crumple out my hands to fall onto the wet sidewalk. Bending slightly with the crushing weight, I looked up angrily to see Rosalie and Emmett walking past, Rosalie giving a chilling smirk, Emmett looking somewhat excited. Looking past them I saw Jasper flanked by Edward and Bella as they made their way to the only shiny car, besides mine, on the lot. Were they pushing him towards the car? It looked like it took a lot of work to get him into the car, almost like they had to literally force them. At an almost inhuman pace, they piled into the car and sped off, the engine revving whether they meant it to or not.

Numbly, I gathered my books and kept walking towards my car, pretending not to notice that with every mile the Volvo gained away from me, the less certain my death became.

"How was school?"


	5. El Diablo Dentro de Mi

_Thanks sooo much for your reviews!! And yes, Rosalie pushed Alice's books out of her hands. But that will be explained later :P kk? _

_Good. _

_So, this is in Jasper's point of view. I listened to Tourniquet By Evenescence when I wrote this, so that's just me, but I suggest a self loathing or angry guitar song to listen to. It helped me write it, so I just hope I've nailed Jasper in this chapter (not like that). Please review and tell me if I've terribly screwed the guy up (not like that) and I should never do his POV ever again because I'm bad at his POV. Honestly, just say so :P_

_Here you go!_

_

* * *

  
_

I have to kill her.

I don't think I've ever felt such a need, such a tangible _desire_ to take a life before. I don't think I ever will either, but at this point I'm not focusing on the future. I'm focusing on the way her scent is throwing me into whirlwind of burning pain rippling along my throat and into my mouth as venom pools on my tongue, waiting for me to pounce. Her wrist is so small and fragile; I can feel every fissure and deformity in the bone that humans tend to have. Right along side the bone, however, is the erratic and tempting thrum of blood singing in her veins as fear and confusion cloud the air and her blue eyes. God, its so… delicious. It should not be so tempting, but just the sound of her heart beating erratically against her rib cage is appallingly appealing.

"Jasper, let her go." Edward's voice is thick with worry and emotion in my ear, and I can feel the tension rippling off him. He is prepared to detain me at any moment, I'm realizing, to preserve this fragile creatures life. To distract him, I make my mouth water more as I envision grabbing her, cupping her cheek to gently tilt it up, almost tenderly before exposing the most fragile part, the most luscious part, of a human. The main vein. She would feel no fear, as I would kindly take the worry away from her to give her contentment as she died. She didn't deserve to feel the pain I would as she left this world.

"Jasper, you have to over come this." His voice is urgent, and I detect hunger in his voice. By reading my mind he's subjecting himself to the same hunger I'm feeling. Not as potent as my reaction, but he wants it too. Good. Maybe now I can make my sickening move without his disapproval because he was feeling the exact same thing. If I had enough control of myself, I might share some. It would be the most powerful flavor I will have ever tasted, and the Gods would sing praise after diluting myself with animals over the years. This would be heaven in the form of death.

"I want her." I say this under my breath, unsure who I'm addressing. I can feel a low growl in my voice, the possession and dominance rearing its head. He wouldn't get out of this. I wouldn't either. I can feel the disgust in myself as I stare at the blue veins tracing underneath her paper thin skin. I was going to kill her. I would drink her blood, both loving and hating it at the same time. Love the taste; hate the loss of pain for it. I don't deserve to get rid of this burning hell because of her.

"Do you want to become a murderer because of one girl?" Edward is angry now. I can feel the bitterness leaking through his voice, the resentment of my weakness, and for once I hesitate. I'm almost stroking the vein in her wrist, but I can feel her pain, telling me I'm pressing down hard enough to crush her bone to dust. My teeth lock in resistance to the desire to rip the life from her slowly, to take my need and then some. I can't. I can't do this to my family. I can't kill because of a weakness. I'm weak. Sick, and weak. I am willing to cloud her mind with pleasure as I take away God's one gift to man; life. I am willing to manipulate her feelings to give myself satisfaction for something she can't help? Her pulse is fluttering with confusion and pain, and I can hear her grit her teeth to keep from crying out. I'm hurting her.

Slowly, I let go of her, now realizing that Edward has had his fingers digging into my other arm to prevent me from attacking swiftly. His weakness for humans would make him stand between evil and them almost every time. My weakness would make me the opponent almost every time. I'm not like my family in any way. They have so much control over this… this desire, whereas I hesitate, imagining death before my very eyes. I want to take her life so badly. I want it like nothing before. She scampers to her seat, fear and confusion screaming off of her in waves. She is innocent and doesn't deserve to die.

And then I take a slow breath.

The blood lust is roaring in my ears again, making me grip my chair in pain as I feel my legs lock in place as I attempt to lunge at her. When did I relinquish her wrist? When did I give her leeway to escape? I'm almost doubled over as the fury pounds in my dried up veins, the demon lurking beneath my skin demanding a blood toll, _her_ blood toll. Her sweet life pouring through me, stopping the never ending burn in the back of my throat, stopping the venom that would choke me to death if I had the life to take. I can feel the jerking of my limbs, trying to dislodge myself from the restraint I've put on to hinder motion towards her.

I'm torn in half, grinding my teeth in anger. Why do I have to be the weak link in my family? If I do this, if I murder her, I'm finished. My family is finished. I feel my muscles rippling with desire to move, to lash out and take as many with me as possible. It was what I was trained to do. Kill and not look back. Kill her, don't look back. Kill the girl with the scared blue eyes and move on from it.

"Fight it." Edward is half growling, and if he isn't careful someone will hear him. I flinch as I suck in half a breath, the smell sending me reeling, doubling me over almost, as if I've never smelled this before. I can taste her, a soft and bright scent, as if something could taste bright. When has this happened? When have I ever smelled a difference in a human? My fangs are coated in venom, ready and willing, but I'm digging my feet into the ground, fighting with every part of my being.

"Why does she smell so different?" I ask in agonizing tones, feeling the chair come to pieces in my fists. Angrily, I push the plastic back against the rest of the chair, molding it back against the jagged, broken chunk of the seat I'm somehow still sitting on. Edward is frantically but cautiously sniffing the air to try to see what I mean.

"She has a nicer smell." Edward allowed, concern clouding his mind. I can feel it coming off of him in waves, and next to me I realize the girl, the innocent, terrified girl is feeling my exact emotions. I hadn't blocked the ability from leaking out. I rein my feeling back in, watching her slump against her desk in shock and confusion. She touches her throat, her supple throat, tenderly, the main vein standing out as she gulps.

"She's the only one different." I groan, locking my jaw as I feel it loosen to let out a growl. My instinct screams prey, it screams for me to attack her. But that's a weakness. She's a weakness.

"What do you mean?" Edward asks, his hand still on my arm, his voice and emotions telling me he's at the ready. He's tense, waiting for me to snap and kill everyone to get to her. My throat is alight with a sick burning, but I welcome it. As long as its there, she's alive. The moment it ends… she ends.

"They all smell the same… except for her." I grind the words out sickeningly, feeling my back shudder with desire. Why did she smell so different? The delicate, needy beings all smelled the exact same, a sweet blood that sang in my ears, demanding I take it. Always the same intensity, always the same desire at the same level. After killing so many, after feeding myself like a glutton for years, none had ever smelled differently. Except her. The girl is ignorant of the fact that I'm so close to killing her, murdering her because of her_ scent_. Something she can't help.

"They're all the same." I bite out the words slowly.

Until now.

Something smacks against the floor with a sickeningly loud thump, and I breathe on instinct to see if its dangerous. Big mistake.

"Jasper, stop." Edward is urgent in my ear, but I can't hear him. There's a screaming in my ears, a hollow cry of pain as I stop myself from the only thing I've wanted in decades.

A mortal's blood on my hands.


	6. Comienza el Osio

_So, that was a lot of reviews! Thanks so much!! I'm glad you guys liked Jasper's POV, but I don't think I'll do too much of him. He has a certain mystery about him that only the true author can know, so I don't want to royally screw his characterization over, but there will be some glimpses! After the browser closed up on me for the third time, I've finally just said oh well, and if there are mistakes with this, I'm sorry :P_

_Without further ado, here you go!_

_

* * *

  
_

_It was dark. Little light filtered through the trees, the scraggly limbs and branches sweeping up to block the moon from reaching me. But I didn't seem to mind. For some reason, something was keeping me safe. Something was watching me as much as I was trying to watch them. _

_"You came." Its voice was soft, a caress down my spine. I shivered against its words, and I couldn't fight the smile from my face. _

_"You knew I would. What took __you__ so long?" I cocked my hip out and raised an eyebrow, feeling childish but playful. A beautiful, musical laugh surrounded me, appreciative that I wasn't full of fear like they thought I would be. Why would I be?_

_"I was caught up with other things." He sounded aloof, and my mind picked up on the word, 'he'. Indeed, it was a he, not an it. His voice was too masculine to mistake for a female's, but it sounded just as angelic. _

_"Other things? Like what?" Suddenly, I couldn't see him. Logic told me that I couldn't see him before, but at least I knew the general direction. Now, I wasn't so sure. He seemed to be everywhere. I heard a slight rustle of leaves, but that was all. No animal whispered stealthily through the trees; no wind moaned through the air. I felt alone._

_"Trying to resist your blood." The voice whispered behind me, and it was then that I felt fear. My body felt numb, so, so numb, and cold. Sickening tendrils of fear sidled along, making me shiver, this time not in anticipation, but in panic. My breath hitched as I felt a solitary cold finger touch my neck, right at my pulse. Can he feel it thumping too quickly? I hear a soft sigh behind me, and then cool lips against my throat. _

_"What are you doing?" I manage to whisper. There's a soft hissing sound from him, and then a throaty laugh. _

_"Failing." _

_And then there was pain. _

I didn't sleep well that night. Nightmares plagued my dreams like a disease, filtering in and out with an intensity that left me waking up at regular intervals during the night, shaking with fear. The room I was in seemed dark and forbidding, shadows creeping along every wall and hiding in the corners. The tree outside creaked and swayed with the wind as a storm raged and threw rain against my window. It was the steady thumping of downpour on the glass that finally allowed me to sleep for a solid three hours before my alarm went off, signaling me awake for another day in hell.

"I got a call from one of your teachers." My father drove me again, almost like he wanted this to be a time for us to bond, now that I was, 'trying,' not to see the future. He didn't mind my surly silence yesterday, probably thinking that I was tired and still trying to adjust, but this morning he wanted information. I turned my head wearily to face him, frowning slightly. He didn't notice.

"He said you were late to class. Why?" He didn't seem mad, but I saw him later telling my mother that she needed to control her daughter better. Right. Quality time with dad. What a guy.

"I got lost. Do you know how many block buildings they have here?" I tried to seem incredulous and skeptical. Maybe he would fall for it? Yes, he would. He wouldn't tell mother I needed controlling. He'd tell her I needed a GPS system for Christmas instead.

"Oh… well, he didn't mention that." Ah, he was talking about Mr. Varner. I hadn't seen him calling my dad. I didn't think he would, nor had I bothered to look. I was too preoccupied with trying to find out why I was at the top of someone's death list. But the teacher obviously had no life. Did he think I'd get in trouble or something? Sure, gossip probably said my father was a cruel and unjust lawyer, but he should have looked into the fact that I didn't care.

"Yeah, he didn't listen when I told him that either." I looked back out of the window, watching the police chief get into his car to leave. This was going to be a tradition in the making; driving by whenever the police chief left. I think my father did it to show the chief that he was an honest, law abiding driver.

I resisted the urge to gag myself.

"Just try to get to classes on time, ok?" My father sounded exasperated, and I couldn't blame him. Having a psychic daughter who could hardly stand you as much as you could her was probably a tough thing to live with. Looking over at him, I shrugged, noticing the way his hair had gotten greyer, showing off his scalp creepily. My father was aging fast because of me. For once, I actually felt slight pity that he was growing old too fast for a normal man because of me.

"And I'm glad you wore more presentable clothing today." Ok, pity gone. Rolling my eyes I looked down at my outfit and had to shrug. I've always dressed nicer than others, simply because of my family's wealth. Sure, my clothes aren't always out there and in your face designer style, but I try to go more for a nice, cute appearance. I don't over do the makeup, but I do put on eyeliner and mascara. It's kind of been drilled into me to always look put together when leaving a house. Not that I'm complaining. I love to be put together and nice looking. I don't think a lot of people waking up thinking, "I want to be ugly today".

"I try." I shrug and turn to give the school a once over before dread fills me for some reason. I still saw my death, but it was hazy, covered up with too many different variables. The slightest movement could tip the scale between life and a black, eternal sleep. At least it wasn't rearing its ugly head the way it had all night. Around dawn it had fallen into a strange, uncertain state where I couldn't understand it.

"Have a… learn something today, ok?" My father rubbed the top of his head uncertainly before I hop out of the car, nodding curtly as I closed the door. If he ever spat something a parent could naturally say without a second thought, I'd give him a nobell prize.

As it is, such things won't occur. Trust me, I'd know.

It was raining lightly as I stepped out of the car, pulling my jacket tighter around me to repel the moisture threatening to ruin my shirt. A light wind blew, cooling me off from the heated droplets, and vaguely I wondered how a rain drop could be warm. Maybe the sun was out, but hidden very well? Looking up, I saw the thick undercurrents of clouds blossoming against a stormy grey sky, and I shuddered. Yeah, very covered sun.

As I walked down the sidewalk, I saw people's stares, and I noticed that today most of them were mischievous and full of ill intent. Something had happened that had drug me even farther down the social scale. I saw a kid pushing books out of my hands, much like yesterday. I saw girls discussing how my outfit would look better on them and merely made me look like an 8 year old playing dress up. I saw boys talking smack, and Mike Newton claiming that I was the one that tripped him yesterday.

Oh. That's why.

I thought I had gotten away with speaking before he tripped. He didn't seem to notice, but after Jessica's treatment at lunch, he probably tried to find something funny about me as well. I walked past a dead silent group of kids, keeping my head held high and my back straight, not letting them get to me. People were so petty with their actions it was almost pathetic, but I wouldn't let it bother me. If I went down every time someone tried to put me there, I would have fallen years ago.

"Excuse you." A girl's tan arm shot down towards my books, but already seeing the action, I locked my elbows and tipped the books up to where her hand merely slid down my Literature text, almost grazing my chest. I looked up at her bright, angry and shocked brown eyes with a look of disgust on my face. Her friends –who had been giggling before- stopped to stare at their ring leader.

"Um, can you get your hand away from my chest?" I tinged my voice with awkward disgust, making it loud so others would hear. "It's a little too touchy feely for me, and I don't swing that way." Arching my eyebrow I assessed her Gucci knockoff purse. She had probably passed it off as real. Not that I was a designer snob, but because of my mother I knew a real from a fake.

"I didn't- I mean, you did-" She was stuttering, turning red past her fake tan. I shrugged and dodged past her and her friends.

"I'm sure." I replied, seeing her later swearing her so called friends to secrecy. Or, the girl was tossing up the idea of telling others that she had been the one to be half groped by the new girl. She was leaning toward the latter, but it was too hazy to tell if it would happen. I sighed despite myself. What was the problem with these girls? Why couldn't they just let me be?

"They're jealous, most likely." A soft, musical voice sounded next to me, making me jump out of my skin almost, but a hand placed on my shoulder grounded me easily. I looked up to see Edward staring down at me with a smile on his face, but one that seemed twisted with ulterior motives. I frowned at him; had I spoken out loud?

"Did I speak out loud?" I voiced my question, trying to control the way my heart pounded. Looking at him made me think of his brother, the blond that seemed to hate me for simply being alive. The blond that whenever I was around, I saw my death looming on the horizon. I resisted the urge to shudder.

"Yes… yes you did." Edward grinned wider, but something in his eyes made me even more alert to his intentions. There was no way I said that out loud; I usually know when I'm talking to myself. I decided to ignore it though and keep walking, knowing it wasn't worth the fight to argue my point.

"Wait." He caught up easily with me, his voice almost stopping me mid-step. What was with this guy? I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, and he seemed internally battling with something inside. Was he trying to find the right words for something?

"I'm waiting." I replied in light tones to let him know I wasn't getting impatient, and that I was actually listening. He gave a funny look at my statement, but instead of taking it the wrong way like I thought he would, he chuckled slightly.

"I just wanted to say, welcome to Forks." He said, still smiling at me for some reason. I gave him a strange look, hoping it came across as, 'you're weird,' like I'd meant it to be. He chose to wait one day to tell me this? Though, when I had seen him, he was kind of with the psychotic blondie who didn't care for me too much. It made a little sense if I was being charitable with people today.

"Thanks?" I hear it sound more like a question, so I shake my head and try again. "I mean, thanks." Edward laughs again, a little too carefree, but I don't say anything. If he's happy, I'm not going to rain on his parade. At least one of us is.

"You don't seem too happy to be here though." He observes, making me trip over my feet that he picked up on that from a sentence fragment. Was this kid a mind reader? I look up at him again, frowning. There was something off about him. Well, all of his family, actually.

"Truthfully, I'm not." I agree, picking up my pace. I don't know what was causing me to be completely ingenuous with these people, but the Cullens just made an honest woman out of me.

Suddenly, Edward burst into laughter, his eyes sparkling with amusement for no obvious reason. A few people turned to glance at us, surprised to see the new chick talking with the Greek God. They needed a life. I looked at him, shock on my face at his reaction, but I was also suspicious. I didn't think it was that funny. I voiced that opinion once he stopped laughing.

"You're just not the first person to say that." He informed me, clearing his face of any emotions too quick for me to keep track. The guy had to be bi-polar. Shrugging, I turned the corner and walked into the classroom, feeling a lot better.

That is, until I saw blondie sitting in his seat, looking tense as ever.

I wanted to leave. I don't think I could sit through an entire class period with him glaring daggers at me like yesterday; I'm strong, but I don't think I'm that strong. My death becomes a little clearer, but not enough to make me concerned; it was still in the balance, and I wasn't entirely sure if it would come into the forefront until later. The points leading up to both my life and my death seemed too tangled to delve into, and I didn't want to try. Today I actually needed to pay attention in my classes to catch up with everyone.

I sat in my seat slowly, testing the water cautiously. A few people turned around, contemplating glaring, but something in my facial expression kept them from doing it. They meekly turned back around.

And to my left, the proper art of glowering was being displayed. Cue looks of appreciation at the technique and way his jaw tightens when I glance at him. Frowning, I turn back to the board and wish my hair was longer so I could hide my face, blocking his glower from my peripheral vision. But, my hair was too short, and I don't think I could pull off really long hair.

"Today class, we're reviewing clauses." I looked up at Frasier with ill concealed horror. Clauses? I learned clauses in fourth or fifth grade!! I looked down at my paper, fighting back annoyance. I'm ready to pay attention today… in something I already know. Great. Leaning back in my chair, I grabbed my pencil to begin doodling in boredom.

Whenever I draw, I think I got out of it. I get so into the actual drawing coming to life that I forget about everything else around me. I look beneath the lines the graphite makes; I try to see past the simple shading and underlining. I try to get something deeper out of the original piece of work, to see where it leads me. Often, it's something I've seen of the future, and I'm trying to make light of it.

But, the main point of me explaining this, is that I sometimes get so into it that I go a little crazy eccentric. Like, erasers flying in my effort to get back to what I was doing before.

Like when I accidentally tossed the eraser to the side and it fell onto the floor and bounced underneath Jasper's desk.

"Oops…" I muttered to myself, staring at the innocent, pink Pearl Eraser right at Jasper's foot. Should I get it back? I look over at the teacher who was explaining what a clause was for the seventh, patient time to the idiot at the front. I look back at the eraser, and then at my pencil that was lacking an eraser. Hence my need for the pink Pearl eraser. Hence my need to get the one near Jasper's foot back.

Chewing my lip, I glanced from his stony, pained expression to my pencil, to the eraser near his foot. As if sensing my stare, Jasper turned his head, glaring at me with a snarl about his lips. I raised my eyebrows in shock that one guy could have so much hatred bottle in him, but I still needed my eraser. I stared back, locking glares, his eyes, wait, his eyes-

"What happened to your eyes?" I blurted out in a hushed whisper, frowning. Jasper snapped his head back when I spoke, as if offended I had dared talk to him, or maybe my breath smelled bad? I popped my spearmint gum, quickly stamping that thought down. It couldn't smell that bad if I had gum in my mouth. And I brush my teeth. I knew I needed to think quickly as my death came into play in this very classroom. It was slowly untangling itself in my head, taking life, so to speak, making me slightly nauseas. It had to be Jasper that was causing my death. It came up the most around him. It had to be him.

"Nothing." He growled out, his voice nothing like it was yesterday. Yesterday, it was warm with invitation, and now it was filled with venom. But then I understood his sentence, and I frowned. Yes, something had happened. Because yesterday they were the darkest black I've ever seen… and now they were a honey color, swirling thickly with emotions I knew and didn't want him to feel towards me. But I could see that he didn't want to hear it, didn't want to hear _me_, so I didn't pry.

"Ok, nothing happened." I allowed, shrugging. The girl in front of me shushed me, making me scowl slightly. She needed to pay attention, I see her failing her next test. "But I really do need that pink eraser near your left foot… it's the only one I have." I looked up at him again, trying to ignore the glare he gave me, trying to see past my death. All I needed was my eraser. It wasn't that difficult.

"Why?" Jasper frowned, staring at me now. I was shocked that he had asked; he didn't seem the type to continue a conversation. I thought he would just pick the thing up and give it back, giving me the death glare at the same time.

"I'm drawing, and I don't have an eraser." I explained, exasperated. I just wanted my eraser! Looking back at my drawing, I saw a few things that needed more depth, more substance, and I couldn't fix them! Huffing slightly, I looked back up at him, waiting for him to get it.

"Why aren't you listening?" He asked aloofly, the edge creeping into his voice whether he realized it or not. Seriously, what was wrong with this guy? I noticed Edward closely observing us in the background, but I must have been imagining the smirk on his face. Why would he be smirking?

"I already know the material." He raised an eyebrow at me, golden eyes burning with too many emotions to name. My death became slightly twisted again, taking on a complicated route and adding too many variables again.

"Why not review?" Ok, he had to be teasing me now. He couldn't hate me, not with the smirk playing about his full lips. Do you tease people you hate? I don't.

"Because that's pointless."

"Why would it be pointless?" There was a definite smile, hesitant, but one that you couldn't conceal easily. I was slightly shocked at how good looking he seemed as he dipped his head and looked up through his lashes to smile, like an innocent boy. Momentarily stunned, I blinked and stared, taking that look in. He seemed surprised at my reaction, rather, my lack of a verbal response, so his face became slightly perturbed. Shaking my head and refocused my gaze to his hair.

"I can't say." I froze at my words, eyes going wide and vulnerable. Panic rose in my chest, slightly suffocating me as I realized what I had just said. Why couldn't I come up with an excuse? I've always been able to lie, always. Why did I blurt that? Oh, nice comeback Alice. Hint that there's something deeper than just knowing. I mean, I can already see what she's planning to quiz us on, and I can see that I'm going to pass, but really? Why not say that I'm overly confidant? Why not claim perfection?

Turning back to face the front, I slowly calmed my breathing, clearing the emotions from my face to avoid further detection. Glancing out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper also facing forward, fists clenched in his lap. My death was detangling itself again.

My eraser wasn't on the floor near his foot either.

* * *

I didn't finish my drawing, as I couldn't fix the mistakes in it. I just sat there, staring at it, telling myself that when I could get an eraser, I'd fix it. Sooner or later. When the bell rang, I glumly packed my books away, watching out of the corner of my eye as Jasper gracefully stood up and walked quickly out of the classroom, almost a blur. Blinking, I looked back at his seat, and then at Edward who was following him out of the room, fast on his heels.

Those Cullens were weirder than I am.

Gathering my stuff, I got up and fled the room to Calculus, leaving my blunder and drawing behind.

Calculus passed quickly, as Bella seemed to sense my mood and only gave me a slightly friendly smile before paying attention to Mr. Varner's lecture. Instead of feeling angry, I was slightly grateful that I didn't have to talk. Instead, I drew again, this time, merely smudging out my mistakes. History and Computer passed as well, but much more slowly because sitting across the room in each class was Jasper, his glare following my every move. I wasn't going to die, but I wasn't going to live either. Cryptic, I know, but that's all I could get out of my strange connection to what will be.

When lunch came, I walked by myself. Mike had given me the strangest glare I've ever seen, one mixed between longing and disgust as he walked past, and I saw him later telling his guy friends I was hot, but not worth the awkward conversation.

I felt like a leper.

Walking into the screaming, clamoring cafeteria, I ignored some student's pointed glares, and I sunk into the nearest table, feeling slightly sick. My second day and my future was already planned out for me here. More talk would ensue, and I would become more and more hated as the year progressed.

Oh joy.

Pulling out my papers, I started my calculus homework, keeping my head low but I didn't completely zone out. It was unhealthy to zone out around people like this, I was realizing. You might miss major points that went on.

Like the fact that I was sitting at the table right next to the Cullen's reserved seating.

They glided in together, as if they had met up before entering. I looked up from my short, jagged bangs to watch them go through the lines, getting a full tray's worth of food before all of them meeting up again and floating towards their table. I noticed the setup was slightly strange as they walked closer and closer. Edward and Bella brought up the read of their march, Rosalie and Emmett in front. Jasper was in between the four of them, like they were guarding someone from him.

Or him from someone.

If they had noticed me nearer than before, they didn't say anything. If they noticed that the empty table next to them had one, solitary person, they didn't say anything.

I was invisible.

Grumbling something I didn't even know, I kept working purposefully ignoring the soft, perfect sounding laughs and angelic voices nearby. They didn't talk a lot, but it was enough. I couldn't really get the gist of the conversation, but I heard something about some strange, novelty girl, and someone wanting something badly.

After about fifteen minutes of just sitting there doing homework, I closed the book with a sharp smack of the book and a sigh of contentment. At least I wouldn't have to look at math until tomorrow.

_He was in the classroom, glaring at me. It was a different glare though. It wasn't of loathing or anything, but of frustration. He was trying to figure something out, but I wouldn't budge. There was something in his tone _–a tone I couldn't hear- _that was making me angry too, but I couldn't be angry. Not at him. Even though he had just found out something. Something hardly anyone knew about me. Something I didn't want him to know.  
_

I shook my head, letting the scene disintegrate before my eyes. I couldn't see who the vision was about. I just knew I would be caving in on a secret. A big one. I couldn't figure out exactly who it was, but based on the fact that I couldn't see who it was, it must be one of the Cullens. Mix that with a glare, and it must be Jasper.

Glancing up and around the cafeteria, I saw Jessica and her friend, Courtney sneaking amused glances at me as they leaned into Mike and some of his friends whose names I had, quite frankly, forgotten. I assumed they were probably mentioning something stupid about me, and looking ahead, I saw that I was right. All they would be doing for the class periods to come is telling everyone how weird I was. Great.

Looking past their table that I had been sitting at just yesterday, I roamed over the unfamiliar faces, trying to put two and two together from those I recognized to those I didn't. I might as well know of them because heaven forbid I actually _know_ them.

"She's hiding something." This whisper was louder than the rest, making my eyes unwillingly turn in the direction of the table next to ours where the epiphany came from. I watched at how they all seemed to be looking in different directions, one at the ceiling, one playing with their food, two staring at the walls, and one glaring at the table, but they all seemed to have their head tilted towards the speaker: Jasper. It made it appear like they were off in space, but really intent on the one talking. Maybe my thoughts yesterday were off? They did seem close, close enough to have their own code of how to talk without being seen.

Or maybe they were hiding something.

"Is it that obvious?" Emmett added, his amused voice surprisingly fitting in with his perfect face, despite the fact it sounded too glorious for human ears. I looked back at my drawing, hoping something would come to light from it, but nothing so far. Just an empty classroom.

"Edward, do you know what it is?" Bella's voice was kind, concerned. She was different from the others, I could tell just from her tone.

"… It's difficult to determine." Oh, he was definitely hiding something. Either they didn't notice his lie, or they would ask later.

"I don't see why she's important." Rosalie was just as much of a bitch as I thought she might be. After pushing my books from my hands, I didn't think she was much of a good person, but that statement just made it a solid fact.

"I can't explain why either." Jasper's voice sounded pained as he said this, and I felt bad for him, even though he seemed to hate me. He seemed so… sad underneath the angry exterior he had around me. He was hiding something. Why couldn't his family see he was hiding something? Something painful...

"Lower your voices." Edward hissed, and I felt guilty, like I was intruding too far into something. Shaking my head, I looked back at my drawing to see my face, determined to stay quiet, and a shadowy blur sitting next to me. Not even my instinct could shed light onto who I was talking with exactly. Frustrated and disgusted, I tossed my pencil to the side and laid my head down on the cold table, needing to chill out. I was wound up too tight as it was, and trying to make complete sense of the future wasn't helping.

Angry, I let out a sigh, ignoring the glances of amusement and disgust sent my way from the Forks High population.

"Great." I muttered, pulling my jacket tighter around me. "Just great. Go ahead and stare." Pulling my binder over, I cushioned my cheek against the weirdly stretched material before closing my eyes to relax before I had to face the rest of my day. Surprisingly, relaxation and peace settle onto me quickly, like a warm blanket. It was like the room had quieted down enough for me to doze without disruption, and my muscles slowly relaxed from the feelings I was having. I didn't have to block the future from coming to me… it just quieted down for a second; had I found an off switch? Or was I so relaxed that the pain of the future was resting too? I couldn't tell, but I wanted to stay like this forever. It was... nice. A girl could get used to this.

Then, the bell rang, making me jump a few feet out of my chair. I wasn't feeling very relaxed anymore, and if anything the tension had come back even worse than before. What had happened? What had made so at peace for a little while, letting me rest without qualms? Glancing around blearily, I gathered my stuff dumbly together, almost missing the pink pearl eraser sitting on top of the drawing of me from first period class.


	7. La Pesadilla Real

_^_^ So, thanks for all of your reviews!! I'm so glad you guys are liking my story, and for that I've deleted three of the chapters I'd had typed in advance because I didn't like them. I think I was going a little too fast, so I've decided to add another twist to the story, something I hope you'll like! Reviews are always appreciated and loved, hence why I've been able to update so fast ;P_

_Here you go!

* * *

  
_

By the time the second Friday of my life in Forks rolled around, I was the most hated kid in school. Well, I don't know if hated would be the right word, but it was an official taboo to talk to me, let alone be nice to me. Kids gave me a wide berth, and even some teachers just let me stay to myself, never asking me for answers or anything. I don't know if there was a valid reason as to why I became a pariah… not until my second Friday at least. By the end of that day, it was all cleared up and stamped with a pretty insignia.

It was raining. No surprise there, but it was a distracting rain. It wasn't the light pitter patter where you day dream, and it wasn't a hard core down pour right on your heads. No, it was a wind screaming, lightning cackling, thunder roaring storm that swept water around in sheets that hit in wide arcs or stinging needles. It slammed against the windows of my first period classroom with a vengeance, almost like it was seeking someone.

Since no one was drawing attention to it though, neither was I.

My father had finally let me drive my own car to school this week; he said he couldn't bother with the extra gas. As if gas prices were really a problem in Forks, but it didn't matter. At least the so called father daughter bonding time was done. I don't know how much more I could take of it.

I was drawing in a little sketch pad I had found in the house, erasers and pencils out in front of me like a discombobulating mess of useless junk, but the teacher didn't mind. Ms. Frasier had given me a test last Friday, and this morning she said my score was high enough that as long as I passed the tests to come, I would get an A in the class. So now, literature was like a free art period for me.

Though, it was pretty disconcerting to work with Jasper leaning over your shoulder sometimes.

Ok, so he wasn't leaning over my shoulder. But sometimes, when I'd glance up, I would notice him watching me draw, an unreadable look on his face. Whenever he would notice me noticing him though, he would jerk his head quickly to the front, lips pursed from whatever he was thinking about. He didn't speak a word to me, not in any of the five classes we had together. This was really awkward since in three of the classes we had to sit next to each other, the reluctant partners in Biology, the taciturn, silent ones in History, and the awkward ones in Literature.

He really wasn't a people person, it seemed.

Grabbing my lighter pencil, I began sketching clouds, giving them a wispy, fluttering appearance since, let's face it, clouds should be bright and happy in pictures, not dark and dreary, like the ones in real life.

_It was raining black droplets in a white light._

I froze, gripping my pencil a bit too harshly, making a dark, jagged line rip across my clouds, giving the look of lightening breaking through. My mind was becoming a frenzy of situations falling into place with one another, but moving too fast for me to keep track of. I was going to get hurt, but it was unsure when, or if I would survive. No, it depended on someone as to whether I would… all I know is that an immense panic would be building inside of me before it vanished, leaving me dizzy with serenity before I would get into a horrible, dark car crash.

Who was with me though? Someone was in the seat next to me, they the passenger, me the driver. They didn't seem panicked for themselves though. I couldn't see who it was, or if they'd be alright, it was just blackness next to me in the seat, my face sickeningly sweet as I collided with a large, over bearing-

"Alice?" I jerked from the vision, blinking rapidly, not realizing I was breathing a little too jerkily for comfort, and the pencil I had been gripping had snapped in my hand. Looking down at the broken wood and jagged, dangerous lead I felt something in me break a little, seeing as that was how I'd end up. Looking up, I realized that someone had spoken to me _out loud_, meaning I should answer, and I was surprised to see that it was Jasper who had addressed me, looking perturbed.

"Are you ok?" He asked, brows furrowed in confusion. I tilted my head, surprised to see that he had actually talked to me, miss pariah. I opened my mouth, about to give him a quick lie saying I was perfectly fine, until the realization that I was actually perfectly calm and fine made me stop and close my mouth.

"Uh… yeah?" I shook my head, realizing this sounded like a question. Why did I feel at ease? Even seeing my wreck in my mind, the vivid look of sickening peace on my face didn't make my heart accelerate and leave me panicking. "I mean… yeah." Frowning, I turned back to my drawing, setting aside the broken pencil to get a darker one. "Thanks."

"… Not a problem at all." Did he sound slightly amused at that? Glancing at him from the corner of my eyes, I saw Jasper give a small smile to himself before looking back at the teacher who was about to ask him a question.

"Jasper, what kind of statement is that known as?" Ms. Frasier asked.

"An if-and-then statement, ma'am." He answered her in bored, dull tones.

Outside, the thunder rumbled as I calmly began drawing my car accident.

* * *

Lunch was boring whenever you sat by yourself. Even though I knew it was better to stand alone for myself, no one could ever say they really minded being all alone at a table for ten, only one seat taken. No one could say they minded everyone talking about them behind their backs for no reason. Sure, it got old and you learned to ignore it, but no one really liked it.

"Mind if I sit here?" I jumped out of my chair, letting out a childish squeak as Jasper appeared at my elbow, hesitant with guarded gold eyes, looking dangerously good with disheveled, light blond locks. I was sure he was about to start laughing at the way I was breathing heavily with wide eyes, but the guy -though he was a bit of a grouch- had enough politeness not to say anything about it. Confused, I nodded slowly, looking to the table next to mine to see the rest of the Cullens looking anywhere but at Jasper who sat down, his back to his family, right next to me.

Looking down, feeling slight anger in the back of my throat, I pulled out my paper to begin doodling again.

"Do you ever eat school lunch food?" He asked, musical voice pulling me from my drawing bubble and back into the present where the Greek God Adonis sat, lounging pristinely in his chair the way only the Cullen boys could. It was like they both wanted to be proper and relaxed at the same time, giving a mix of the two but still looking good. As if they could actually look bad.

"No… but you don't either." I pointed out, hoping he didn't ask why I had noticed. I don't know why I didn't either, but for some reason I did notice. They all loaded their trays with food, giving the looks of hungry, starving children, but when they threw the food away, not even a ruffles chips bag had been opened. Maybe a roll had been picked apart, or an orange unpeeled, but nothing ever actually eaten.

"… We eat a lot at home." He quirked an almost indiscernible smile at this, like he shared a private joke, making me curious, but a little angry too. His smile reminded me of class, him smiling at breaking my pencil, which reminded me of my eraser, which reminded me of him taking it, which reminded me of him giving me the worst treatment of everyone in this school.

"Why are you even talking to me?" I demanded, pushing a few bangs from my eyes. I'd have to cut them again; they were getting a little long and in my eyes, distracting me too easily. I glared up at Jasper's baffled face, golden eyes wide and piercing, like he was in pain. Slight guilt shocked me, but I stamped it down. Maybe if I held my ground, I'd get answers. Why did he think it would be ok to glare at me from afar but act polite when he was talking to me? It really didn't make sense.

"Do you not want to talk to me?" He was frowning, staring at the table with a sick look on his face, and for some reason I felt a slight despair at hearing him ask me that. It was like I had been so hopeful moments before… and now I was crushed. Wait, what was going on with me?

"It's a little late in the game, don't you think?" I raised an eyebrow, trying to gain back my anger from before, knowing it would be really strange to act upset about the way he'd been treating me. Talk about double standards.

"I know, it's just… I've been terribly rude to you, and I'm sorry." His eyes flickered up to my face, showing me something that took my breath away for a second. Whether Jasper realized it or not… I saw a hint of an aching depression that threatened to rip him apart. I don't think any of his family would know about this; it was such a tangible pain that I felt like it was almost a part of me. He seemed so worried about my reaction, as if he could either help or hinder it by the way he was staring, and before I even realized it, I knew what my answer would be.

"Not that I don't forgive you… but why even do it at all?" I looked down at my half finished picture, tracing the car's outline with my eyes. "I know I haven't done anything wrong." I looked back up, watching him watch me through his bangs.

"I- you remind me of… someone I knew." His eyes looked down, and then back up, drinking in my appearance in a way that was slightly flattering, but slightly daunting. What exactly was he playing at? He had to be lying.

"Someone you really hate?" I felt myself slightly smirking, but I was slightly sad as well. Outside, the wind screamed something fierce as rain fell in torrents, similar to bullets raining down on innocents. The room felt chilly from the cold wind that would blow through the doors that opened to admit rain soaked kids, and shivering slightly I pulled my jacket tighter.

"You draw wonderfully." Jasper chose at that moment to point past me to my scattered drawings, his artistic fingers finding one that had detailed woods, a wolf slinking along in the shadows, his prey bathed in moonlight. As he leaned slightly closer to pull a few papers towards him, I inhaled, realizing that not only did this kid look good… he smelled amazing too. Slightly disoriented, I glanced confusingly at the pictures, wondering what we were talking about. What had we just been discussing? Looking up at his guilty but calm face, I found I couldn't tell.

"Uh… thank you?" I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. What was going on? Why couldn't I actually focus around him? Why did he have this effect on me? And then... something else hit harder than the wreck I've seen... harder than when they first locked me away.

"Alice? Are you ok?" I looked up to see Jasper leaning towards me, concern his dominant facial expression, but that wasn't what I was focusing on.

_They knew. They were laughing, their eyes disgustingly bright with amusement and mirth. There was no mercy in those eyes that now had a real reason for mocking me. I was different. Different in a way no one else here could ever understand._

_I was running, something close behind me, something coming up fast._

_"Get away from me!" I snapped feebly, but it was to no avail. Something was gaining on me quickly, and there was no turning back._

I gasped, rearing back, half standing up in an attempt to get away from what was about to happen in three… two… one-

An eruption of laughter circled around Jessica and Mike's group, their faces sick with amusement. I wasn't curious as to what was going on though; I had already seen this happening. Something I knew would ruin me forever.

"Alice, what's going on?" The laughter was bubbling, passing through the close tables quickly, and blindly I began grabbing my stuff, shoving the papers into my bag quickly, bending and stuffing in a last ditch effort before I knew I was eternally screwed. Maybe if I hurried, I would get away before they all looked at me. Blinking back panicked tears, I battered Jasper's freezing cold hands away from my papers to grab them, pulling on one and ripping it in half. Without realizing what I had done, I stuffed the half sheet into my bag, zipping it up as pictures I didn't want to see rushed through my mind.

How did they know? How had they found out? Who would even begin to guess? My eyes flashed from Jasper to the Cullens' table where Edward was looking at me, shock written clear on his face. Oh no... he knew too? This couldn't get any worse.

"Alice, calm down, ok?" Jasper was reaching towards me, but I pulled back, stumbling over my chair, realizing too late that there was no way out of this. I don't know how I missed the signs, but missed them I had, and now I was faced with one of the only things that could make me fall.

My past.

People's eyes began turning, their jeering faces melting together in a sick wave of embarrassment as the entire population of Forks High School realized that their new student used to live, not in Florida, but in Mississippi, at a mental institute.


	8. Veo Muerte

_Sorry it's taken so long to update, I've been really trying to work on this chapter and lengthen them so this is an actual story and not a simple running monologue of her thoughts :P_

_Also, big kudos to my new beta, you're awesome ^_^_

_So, you know you want to review and tell me your real thoughts on what you think because if you say it sucks, it can get better. I can't read minds like Edward, so I don't know your real opinions!!_

_On with the show..._

_

* * *

  
_

"Did you think she-"

"Don't look-"

"Maybe she killed-"

"Why did they let her out?"

"She's insane!"

My mind was whirling, and I stumbled back against my seat, pulling my bag up and ignoring the ice cold grip on my arm. Feeling sickly faint, I swung my bag onto my shoulder before I took off running, their thoughts screaming through my mind like a broken movie slide that showed the exact same things over and over again.

_They moved to trip-_

_"She's such a freak!"_

_"Why's she here?" _

_"I'm telling the police-"_

_My mother's face, dark with anger. _

I couldn't believe it. Why couldn't I have seen that coming? Was it because I was so preoccupied with Jasper suddenly talking to me? It didn't matter; I just had to get out of Forks, and get out fast. All that mattered was me leaving and never coming back.

My pace picked up when I heard the cafeteria doors open slightly, letting the now uproarious noise bomb me down the halls as I pumped my arms and legs, wincing as I realized I was wearing high heeled boots. So much for practical, but then again, fashion hardly was. Turning the corner, I rushed past Mr. Varner, who called out to me in a rough voice,

"Slow down there, young lady!" He would stop me later, demanding I explain.

Too bad he wouldn't see me again.

As I slammed against the door leading to the outside, I pulled my hood up, stepping out into the screaming wind and wailing rain, ducking against the torrents that threatened to rip my hood off. Spotting my car (the only car I could see) I took off again, keeping my hood pulled up with one hand, the other clutching my bag desperately.

And then, Jasper was there, leaning against my car door, not seeming to care he was getting soaked within seconds. He looked tense, his jaw locked and his gaze murderous. _Great._ I had gained one ally (in a manner of speaking) just to lose him too. I stopped in front of him, arms folded, waiting for him to move. The rain echoed against my hood, making any words useless since he probably couldn't hear them anyway.

"Where are you going?" Ok, so there wasn't a hearing problem. His low voice was thick with something I couldn't name, but it made me slightly afraid. I didn't like hearing it.

"Home." I gritted my teeth, seeing their delightedly evil faces in my head. No, block it out, block it out, block it out…

"Why?" Did he not realize I was trying to leave? Did he not notice my panicked gaze back to the door where someone was going to come out of and see us if I didn't leave?

"Does it matter?" I groaned, not sure if he heard me. "Move." I reached for him, meaning to push him, but he caught my wrist, right where the old bruise was. It had healed and everything, but the memory of it made me flinch.

"Let me come with you," he said, making me stop worrying for a second to stare, slack jawed at him. He wanted me to what? Let him come with me? What was he getting at?

"Why?" I couldn't help gazing up at him, despite the rain falling in my face, probably smudging my eyeliner. At that point, it didn't matter though.

"You're not in a state to be by yourself," he noted, moving his fingers to where his thumb and forefinger were right at the vein in my wrist. His jaw tightened again, and his nostrils flared for a second, giving him a predator's look, but before I could really notice it, it disappeared. Moving to the side with deliberate care, he opened the door, letting me in slowly before walking towards the other side, too quickly for me to start the car and leave.

Not like I really could. Not with the way my heart was hammering against my rib cage.

I put the keys into the ignition, seeing a few people about to walk out to see where I had gone. Knowing I couldn't do anything for a second, I ducked my head, letting it rest against the steering wheel so they wouldn't see. I know Jasper was waiting, probably impatient or whatnot, but I couldn't move for a second. I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't concentrate. I felt like I was about to throw up.

"What can I do?" he asked, and I was surprised to see that he didn't ask if I was ok, like other kids would. Of course, I guess it was pretty obvious I wasn't, but people said it anyway. I made a motion with my wrist towards the ignition, and Jasper reached over, turning the key, making the Spider F-430 roar to life before settling into a steady thrum of a powerful engine, patient and waiting for me to use it. Lifting my head, I moved the stick shift into reverse, ignoring Jasper's concerned gaze as I pulled hazardously out of the parking lot, not really bothering to stop at the blurry looking stop sign.

"I can guess that you don't want to talk about it?" His voice was quiet, subdued and waiting for me to snap at him, but I didn't. He wasn't laughing, and I didn't hear any amusement in his voice. He wasn't really judging me, from what I could tell, but I could also feel the bitter tears making a lump in the back of my throat, ordering me to stay silent.

"It wouldn't help," I muttered thickly, gripping the steering wheel tightly, rushing past the street signs, hoping not to run into a cop. I loved to drive, but I also loved to drive fast. It was a weakness, one that I desperately needed right now in order to get away fast enough.

"How would you know that?" he whispered, hands clasped neatly in his lap, his posture perfect in the leather seat. I know I should snap at him since his wet clothing was pressed against the leather, but where would he put anything to dry it off? I didn't really care; my parents wouldn't notice the slightly worn look to the leather if it got wet anyway.

"Because it'd still be true!" I hissed, feeling my grip get tighter on the wheel. "I'd still be the freak, I'd still come from- from…" I gritted my teeth to fight the tears that threatened to spill. "Talking won't help," I finished lamely, hoping he didn't notice the waver in my voice. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, his propriety would make him not ask, knowing it would be prying.

"Why were you sent there?"

His question startled me, and I jerked the wheel slightly, gasping and jerking it again when I realized I was in the other lane. Did he seriously just ask me that? I glanced over at him, having to look back quickly when he returned my gaze easily, waiting for my response.

"… I don't want to talk about it." I muttered, sinking lower in my seat, reaching for the music player. Jasper's hand caught mine, his freezing cold hands shocking the numb feeling from my system at the feel of ice against my skin. He led my hand back to the steering wheel, molding it around the grip before he reached over to turn the stereo on himself. He obviously didn't like the fact that I was driving as fast as I was.

The CD changer began playing the last song I had been listening to, the pretty and innocent piano circling the car, its melody contrasting sharply with the tense atmosphere around me.

"You need to watch the road." He commented after a moment of listening to A Fine Frenzy. I turned my window shield wipers on higher, tapping the brake pedals to keep the tires from sliding on the rain water.

"I need to get away from here," I grumbled under my breath. There was a soft, melodious laugh from next to me.

"You shouldn't worry about what they say." At this I gave a hollow, scornful laugh, feeling slightly hysterical when I started thinking about it again. Of course_ he_ wouldn't care what they said. Not like a Greek God could relate to what I was going through.

"Right. Because it's so easy to ignore everyone around you when they know one of your secrets that you'd rather not have _anyone _know about." I snapped, unintentionally pressing harder on the gas when a thick, disgusting peal of thunder threatened to break my car with the noise alone. Forks was definitely not the safest place to be during a storm.

"It can't be that bad." I turned a glare in his direction, trying to ignore the way his wet, disheveled hair was too good to be real.

"Do you have any secrets, Jasper?" I asked scathingly. This seemed to throw him off for a second as he thought about what I said. I waited, listening to the light piano in the background as opposed to the murderous rain right outside.

"Yes," he said softly, turning to look over at me strangely, "Yes, I do." I felt weird, under scrutiny from his gaze, and for some reason, also guilty with the way he looked at me, like it was my fault that I had a secret. It couldn't be my fault; I hadn't done anything but show him why he was ill justified in telling me not to worry.

It didn't stop me from feeling bad though.

"Right. Imagine that being found out by everyone simultaneously." I didn't want to back my point down, knowing that I couldn't show weakness. If he knew I felt bad, he would turn the tables against me. When the silence lasted for more than a minute, I risked a glance in his direction to see his eyes distant, almost glazed with thoughts he didn't want to contemplate.

"Sorry…" I muttered awkwardly. Jasper glanced over at me for a second, something passing over his face before he gave a slightly harsh laugh, disbelief etching his fine features.

"You've had a mortifying day, and you're apologizing to me?" he asked, incredulous. I shrugged, trying to repress my dying social life (if I ever had one to really begin with) to the back of my mind.

"Your misfortunes aren't really my business," I replied hesitantly. As I came closer to my house, I slowed down, taking the curb carefully, shifting to a lower gear to prevent hydroplaning, but something in my vision stopped me. Not my actual eyesight; the vision in my mind was opening up, displaying what I had seen earlier except in an earth shattering force that sent me into a state I rarely, rarely went into.

Right in front of Jasper.

"Alice, what's wrong?" Jasper was leaning towards me; I could tell from the slight cool feeling near my shoulder, but I couldn't respond. Something was pulling me farther and farther into my vision, something that made a shiver run down my spine and my breath hitch in my throat. Something I couldn't pull away from, and something I didn't want to be with. It wrenched me away from reality, away from the one thing that I wanted to hold onto with all of my being.

And I couldn't escape.

_It is coming too fast to avoid. Though I am driving slowly, it is bound to happen. Lights flashing, horns blaring, something crashing with a sickening sound as metal crushed and crumpled against metal, the screaming, groaning cars shuddering against the impact. Tense, sickeningly tense. I can't get my hands off of the steering wheel to hide my face from the glass shattering and spraying everywhere, nicking skin and bone. My eyes are closed, but the white lights from the truck are shining into my car, blinding me. _

_But we're still moving._

_Turning, bending, rolling, flipping, I am whirling with the car, arms up to my face to shield myself from the pain. Finally, my eyes open, wide and fearful as I feel the car turning one last time, and I can feel death. I can see it right in front of me, I can hear it from the curse next to me, and the slow way my demise is coming to meet me. _

_And then, it's not._

_I'm flying again, but away from the car, away from the black tarmac that's stinging from the acid rain. I'm crushed against something, something strong, and something ice cold. _

"ALICE!" It's wasn't the yell that brought me back, it was the icy cold hands gripping my arm, and sending chills down my spine. Gasping, I jerked back, accidently making my car veer off the road for a second, but Jasper grabbed the wheel and gently led it back. I gave a shaky laugh, but then white lights from my vision appeared in front of me, blinding me. I smiled wryly as my hands instinctively tensed.

But I didn't scream. I felt calm, relaxed and focused as my car began to hydroplane, my emotions running on their own accord as we spun, my head wrenching to the left and then back, sending pain signals, but it was like I couldn't react. It was like I was too lost in a sick, dreamy state. Something around me stopped me from the panic I know I would have usually gone into.

We stopped the spinning, but instead of relief, I was still lost in a haze as I felt the car begin to rise against something, a screaming sound filed my ears as my car bent and folded against a hand surface before I was thrown into the air, the sensation of falling making my stomach drop and my eyes suddenly opened to reveal a dark black road, unforgiving and hard. Something that would tear my car to pieces. I tensed again, bracing myself for impact, still unable to feel the fear I thought I should, but something stopped me from even reaching the ground.

I was flying again, crushed against something, and it's then that I felt pain. Like stinging needles pressing white hot against my skin, but my breath was short, and I could only whimper.

"Shh," Someone whispered, or did they hiss it? I felt a jarring impact that rattled my bones, and panic began setting in, a numbing feeling that made my blood go cold, and my body protested against it.

The last thing I remembered was the odd, calming feeling taking over as I stared up into the steadily falling rain, something frigid and cold pressed against my side.

* * *

_"Her abilities… are superb." The psychiatrist looked at the folder, glancing from my doctor to me at random intervals that in a way weren't really that random because, let's face it, I could see what he was going to do. His thick moustache covered most of his mouth, the thin stretch of lips moving furiously as he chewed on a piece of gum, once again studying me. _

_"What's she even doing here?" he asked, turning to my doctor with raised eyebrows. My doctor shrugged, motioning towards me like I was a model to be examined, not a human who could see their every action. _

_"She claims to see the future. Sometimes, if she suppresses it too much, she goes into a trance like state that won't let up until the major catastrophe happens." He leaned in closer to the psychiatrist, lowering his voice slightly. "Remember 9/11? She was in a seizure induced coma in her cell two weeks before it happened." The psychiatrist's mouth dropped open, revealing the juicy fruit gum before he began scribbling furiously, sending me excited glances. _

_"So she really can see the future?" he asked in a higher pitched voice than before. My doctor sent me a slightly apologetic stare before nodding slowly. _

_"I want to run tests," The psychiatrist said, standing up and wiping his balding head with a rag from his pocket. I felt a slight fear tinge my nerves, but the medicine my doctor prescribed kept me from over reacting like I normally would. Instead of feeling insulted, I felt strangely content being monotone and slightly uncaring. _

_"You might make her go literally insane from that." The doctor warned, concern dripping in his voice. The psychiatrist gave a non committable shrug. _

_"It's for the good of science," he declared. _

_

* * *

  
_

Something beeped sluggishly. The noise came in waves, one point being loud and thick against my ears before it quieted, the sound enveloped in cotton. I couldn't feel anything except a sick confusion as to my whereabouts, and a tingling sensation on my arm. Where was I? What was going on? I couldn't feel the strength in me to open my eyes, and that fact alone scared me.

"What was she doing near our house, doctor?" The voice was regretful and haggard like the person hadn't slept.

"I came to the understanding that something at school had happened, making her take a sudden leave. With all of the rain, it was understandable neither of them saw the other." This voice made me take in a slow, surprised breath as I heard it. It was soft, musical, but concerned and caring; the smooth tones making me feel relaxed. This person wouldn't hurt me.

"And then, how far she was found from the car… almost unbelievable." The gruff voice held a tinge of suspicion, and I shifted. Who was found far from the car? What car? My head protested from too much thought.

"Not entirely, if you think about it. She might have been thrown from her seat when the car began spinning, before anything too serious happened. The window had been smashed; that was most likely where she went through." I felt myself nodding along sleepily with the voice, feeling the need to agree. They had to be right. With a voice like that, who would lie?

"Yeah, you might be right. Too bad there weren't any witnesses until after," the gruff voice's revelation shocked me; witnesses? Were they talking about a car crash? And then the memories came rushing back; the rain, the fear, the boy, the vision, the crash, the pain; it became a part of me as it finally clicked together as to where I was, and with a slight jerk, my eyes popped open and I found myself peering into the eyes of two concerned adults.

"W-what? I stuttered incoherently, feeling my stomach lurch when I tried to lean up. Feeling dizzy again, I fell back, pulling my hand up to push away my slightly too long bangs. Feeling a resistance, I looked down in alarm to see tubes snaking up my wrist, pulling my arm back against my side. My other arm was splinted, making movement difficult. I was trapped.

"Oh, Alice, I'm glad you're awake. It was slightly touch and go for a moment," a beautiful doctor stood at the foot of my bed, a hesitant, friendly smile gracing his features.

Oh God, no. Not a doctor. Not another one.

"No…" I felt my lips moan, and my heart began stuttering in panic as images flashed through my mind, this time of the past, not the future. Memories. Doctors. Bad. Very bad.

"Alice?" He moved towards me, his stunningly beautiful face twisted in concern, but I twisted away, not wanting him to touch me. _Please, please go away,_ I begged internally, pushing away from him, kicking my aching legs out, breathing ragged. I couldn't stop the instinct that made me want to scream and flinch away from him; I couldn't handle the stare he was giving me. _Please, leave me alone._

"No..." I breathed, my voice too high to really form speech. _The needles pierced my skin._ No, he couldn't be like that. He couldn't be a bad doctor. They weren't in Washington. They were all the way in Mississippi, they couldn't be here. My thoughts were running wild, and I couldn't bring myself to stop my panic, my vision torn between three different stages. Why couldn't I focus? What was going on with me?

"Alice, I'm not going to hurt you." He stopped moving, his golden, piercing eyes assessing me professionally as he realized what my crazed reaction was about. He held his pale hands out as if to show me he wasn't going to hurt me, but I wasn't sure. I couldn't be sure; it was unsafe to be sure. People got hurt from being "sure".

And yet… his eyes weren't glazed with greed. They didn't seem to be angry or distant. They seemed to be looking right through me, trying to convey a message I couldn't understand. Something in his eyes made me want to trust him, and I slowly felt my muscles loosen from their tense position, letting me slide down the hospital bed with hesitance at my sudden change of heart.

The doctor watched my movements with slight relief in his eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he repeated, moving to the side slowly, like I was a skittish animal. His light blond hair was combed back professionally, and his skin seemed like marble. Just from looks alone, and the sound of his voice, I knew this had to be another Cullen. His aura wasn't like the others though; he seemed approachable, and under other circumstances I think I would have liked this guy. As it was, I wasn't really in the state to distinguish friend from foe.

"Where am I?" My voice pitched slightly in alarm. "What am I doing here?" I pulled my splint up, showing it as an example. "What exactly happened to me?" I was breathing a little too harshly, and the beeping seemed to pick up in tempo again. The doctor, noticing this, walked around to the other side where a thick, metal machine beeped and blinked, sending messages that only he could understand. I just stared stupidly at it, my breath becoming slightly ragged as I waited.

"Miss Alice, everything will be alright." The doctor turned back to me, eyebrows creased in worry and something I couldn't exactly name. Leaning down, he pressed a few buttons on the machine and, grabbing his clipboard, he began to examine me. Staring at his calm, composed features that almost ached with beauty, I slowly let myself relax, realizing after a few minutes that he wasn't going to hurt me, and that this doctor was good.

That made one of them.

"Your wounds are healing nicely." He observed, tilting my cheek to the left to get a glimpse of something I couldn't see. Taking a slower breath to hold in my frustration and slight panic, I watched him observe me, his calm demeanor making me calm too, surprisingly.

"You were in a car wreck, Alice," he said slowly, testing the waters. I looked up at him, nodding dumbly along. Tell me something I don't know, please. Like, why I survived? I saw my death; what stopped it?

"Dr… Cullen?" I felt my face flare up in slight pain, and with a wince I closed my eyes, ignoring the tingling right underneath my skin. There was a muffled ruffling sound, and then the tension in my face eased. Blearily, I opened my eyes to see three different Doctor Cullen's staring at me with pity in their honey gold eyes.

"You still need rest." Their voices melded together in an eerie tone that made me slowly shiver. "When you wake up again, I'll explain everything." The voice was soothing, and I gave a lazy smile, nodding slowly.

Once again I submitted to the darkness.


	9. Soy un Monstruo

_Thanks for the reviews! I got a couple of them asking for something in Jasper's point of view, so I put this together for them! I know I said I wouldn't do this too often, but I decided that it would make sense to show you how he is with the aftermath :)_

_Thanks again to my beta, you know you're awesome!_

_Here you go!_

_

* * *

  
_

I'm such a coward. A lying, stinking coward. I don't understand why I stay here, jeopardizing my family, jeopardizing her, but I do. My logic's twisted so far I'm not sure what it was meant to be in the first place, but at this point I can't care. I'm not even making sense, am I? But that shows how I am as a vampire. I don't do things because it's right… I do it because of the guilt.

I keep her alive because I'd feel guilty killing her.

Edward says that can't be it; I'm just saying it because I'm coming up with excuses. He says I know what the right thing is; I'm just having trouble with it. Maybe I am. But I can't afford to figure out if that's the case; I've already pushed the limits too far; her scent like a sick drug that sends me into a coma without it. Just breathing it in is like a foul, twisted form of meth that I desire to have. It burns… but it's so… delicious.

Making me a coward.

The smart thing to do would be to kill her. She's hated and frowned upon by the general Forks population; they wouldn't miss her. From her feelings I've picked up on, she doesn't like her parents, it would be a mercy on her and everyone else. She's different, I've reasoned, and different is bad among these weak and hormone induced population. It would make sense to kill her, and end everyon's agony alltogether.

Then why can't I kill her?

Is it not enough to see her thick, red blood spilled onto the pavement, onto my skin where the aroma sends venom pooling on my tongue like an addictive flavor? Is it not enough to hear her give a painful moan, arms pushing against me in an effort to get away from the cold? But at that moment, I can't move. One action, one twitch, and she's dead. I feel my arms lock around her shoulder and chest where a large wound ripped open the skin, my strength pushing her skin so tight it stopped the bleeding, stopping the drug from spreading farther around me. Stopping me from killing the one things I've ever wanted so much it hurt to live without it.

I should do it. I should just kill her. Right now. But something, something is making me stop, like it did when we were about to collide against the ground. Something in the back of my monstrosity of a mind keeps screaming, 'not her'. Something keeps me fighting against the blood lust… the blood…

The bleeding. The blood. I feel a snarl rip against my throat, and my knees lock in place as I feel myself prepared to attack. I close my eyes, trying to block out the pain and confusion battering at my senses from the mere girl beside me. I try to calm myself down, trying to keep her from going into shock, hoping that it would work with one of us. One of us had to survive.

Why did I care so much?

"Jasper, get up." Emmett's voice is amused but wary as he appears slowly, letting my instincts get a sense of him before he comes too fast. He probably realized the fact that my lack of control would be the death of her if he came too quickly towards me. My nerves were shot, my actions relying on the one thing I was trying to contain.

"I'm… trying." I hiss, feeling my jaw lock up, feeling the snarl ripple from my throat as the smell permeates my senses, tantalizing me with promises to stop the burn. All it takes is one drop… just one drop… just one-

Something latches onto my side suddenly, their scent hidden from the wind, ripping me away from the smell, ripping me away from the girl, her eyes closed now that she's passed out. I feel two sets of arms yanking me back, and it takes me a moment to realize that I was struggling against them, my growls wracking my body with a desire to fight, a desire to bring harm to them, all of them, those who couldn't understand, who would never-

"Jeez, Jasper, get a hold of yourself." Emmett grumbled in my ear, giving a black chuckle as he tugged me back despite my jerks and hisses of anger. I know he's amused, but he knew not to push it. I couldn't control myself, why make it worse? He was pulling me backwards, but I know he's not alone. I can sense Edward's precise way of action pushing me back, his emotions battering away at my resolve, his determination to spare her making me almost go wild with the desire to hurt all of them, any of them, just to get to her.

"Are you trying to murder us?" Edward grunted, making me jerk away slightly from his grasp, shocked. I focused on the way his eyes pierced me, making me feel slightly ashamed for a second as sanity slowly stole back through me. I could feel my muscles lock against the desire to hurt her, kill her, steal her away, and for a moment I can think clearly.

That's all I need.

"You've gotten better; I almost couldn't pull you away." Emmett chuckled under his breath, letting his grip on my waist loosen. The rain had lightened up, showing a dazzling display of colors in a fine mist around us that startled me for a second before I looked back at the ground where the fine, many shaded red blood spilled across the wet ground, soaking into the earth greedily.

I suppose I'm not the only one who wants her. Even the earth sings for her.

Edward was on the phone, his voice low and urgent, and his stance saying more than his pointed look in my direction. He was ready at a 1/4ths second notice to stop me. But as I stared down at the red mix, the deadly concoction of oxygen, plasma, cells, and sugar, I felt a sick loathing fill me at the desire to take it. I stared down at my stained shirt, the color slightly darker, but only just. It filled my entire being with the aroma, and I felt sick to my stomach.

I had to get away.

"Jasper, wait for Carlisle." Edward instructed, walking over hesitantly to her, checking her vitals to make sure she was living. To make sure I hadn't killed her in my attempt to stop killing her. I couldn't help the envy that rolled over me at how he could be so close to her without harming her. Just like Carlisle. The perfect vegitarians. I felt myself backing away, my feet finding the most silent means of travel as I felt my body propel itself farther and farther away. I couldn't be here when Carlisle came; I couldn't stand to feel their eyes pitying me, their emotions of sympathy rolling through my mind like a bad movie. I didn't want their looks of wary compassion. I didn't need it. It was sickeningly sad that I had to wait for them to make sure things were alright with me.

I was weak. A weak coward.

"Jasper, wait." Edward repeated, but I wasn't listening. I know he was analyzing my thoughts, seeing my plans of action, but I didn't care. I was too busy creating a web of calm peace in the area, my steps taking me farther away from them, their muscles going lax with tranquility.

"You should check on the one in the truck." I whispered before I turned and fled the place entirely, my feet propelling me faster that I'm sure I've ever gone. Farther and farther away I ran, the rain pelting me more than it should, the grass barely grazing my shoes as I picked up my pace, letting trees fly past, their distinct shapes and textures crying out on all sides, trying to capture my attention, but I wouldn't be deterred. I had a moment of sanity, and I wasn't going to waste it.

I wouldn't become a murderer. Not again.

I don't know how long I ran. I don't know how long I felt the sensation of flying without appreciating it like I usually would. I don't think it mattered because when I finally did stop, I had found what I was looking for. It's wasn't much, and it didn't make my situation suddenly better, but it was a place to rest. It was cloudy, full of cover and full of something I could call friends. They were crouched over a tree stump, their voices fluid and together, molding and overlapping like they were reading the same thing at the same time. Knowing them, they probably were. When I stole to the side where my scent would be discovered purposefully, I watched with mild interest as he slid Charlotte in the other direction, subtly placing himself in front of her, at the heart of the danger, keeping her safe. It didn't surprise me, and it was nice to know he hadn't let go of his instincts so easily either.

It was nice to know I wasn't the only one who could revert as easily into a monster.

Walking into the glade slowly, I watched with even more interest as his stance visibly relaxed when he realized it was me. Though dangerous, I would never attack them. What would the need be? The only friend who would find it in him to understand without giving me the pity everyone else would.

"Jasper… how did you find us?" Peter smiled at me, but his gaze conveyed his message clearly. What was I doing here? Charlotte stood slightly behind him, her red eyes flashing with confusion but welcoming. Charlotte had always been polite and gentle for a vampire. Something I could never be.

"I followed a familiar scent." I said, not looking at him entirely. I could feel his slight frustration at not knowing the true answer, but a respect at my privacy. He wouldn't pry unless I told him.

"You can stay with us as long as you need." Charlotte smiled, reaching out to hug me like a sister would. She really was a kind spirit, someone Peter deserved. He had seen too much… lived too long with the haunting need…

"Thank you. I'll try not to impede on your hospitality for too long." I replied, nodding my head slightly at her, letting a slight smile grace my lips. I know it was fake; Peter knew it too. But what could I do? The one place I could be with family, and I couldn't because they were taking away the one thing I wanted? Peter and Charlotte wouldn't judge, though I do know what their answers would be if I asked.

"What brings you to us so quickly?" Peter asked as we began taking on a slow canter towards the woods for more privacy. Though it was cloudier in Canada today, we didn't need to take the risks.

Especially me.

"I needed to get away from home." I didn't miss the pointed look Peter gave Charlotte as we took a deer trail up the mountains. I didn't say anything, but I know what he was thinking. The disapproval of my vegetarian ways was not a secret between us, and I know he was thinking that I was giving it up. Slight smugness radiated from him as he let his thoughts wander to the scene where I would supposedly confess my hatred of vegetarianism.

"Oh? Why?" He asked, launching himself up a tree, flipping his way to another, landing silently, giving me a taunting grin. He wanted to play? Viciously, I somersaulted, sending myself into the air after him, grabbing a tree between my granite fingers to propel myself through the air. 1/16th of a second later and I was about to land right on top of him, a grin stealing over my face. I had him.

And yet, he twisted his body, turning to where when I fell, he would have the perfect side swipe at my face. Like I would ever give him the chance. Flipping mid-air, I fell at an angle, letting my feet slam against a rock, cracking it down the middle, but otherwise aiding me in my leverage against him. Pushing up, I grabbed him by the middle, right in his blind spot, slamming him to the ground, a grin on my face.

"There's a human girl there." I breathed, letting him go to sit down as her scent washed through my mind, making me suddenly very, very thirsty. Looking up at his red eyes, I watched him grab Charlotte with a small smile about his lips. Glancing back to me, he sat down slowly, getting ready for my explanation.

"There are lots of them there; it's what happens when you live among them." He joked, giving a tight smile, but I could tell by his grave feelings that he knew this couldn't be an ordinary girl.

"Her blood… it's more… potent than the others." I confessed, feeling embarrassment as the words flew from my mouth. I sounded so weak, it was disgusting. How could I admit that to someone who had shared the same thoughts on humans that I did? They were all the same; why would this one be any different?

I was such a coward.

But Charlotte didn't seem to think so. Her face softened into confusion and sympathy, her hand reaching out to take my scarred one. Out of politeness, I kept it held fast, but I know Peter knew I didn't like her empathy.

"They smell the same to me." Peter shrugged, and I sensed the smug satisfaction at that fact. I let a snarl of frustration slip past my lips, making him grin wryly.

"They all smell the same to me too… except for her." I reiterated, leaning my back against the tree, letting my body mold against the wood. The harsh grain pressed against my skin like slight pinpricks, and I welcomed the reaction. Something to let me focus.

"Well, that's… different." He gave me a confusing look, something not even his emotions could name. He was torn between amusement, smugness, and thoughtfulness. Charlotte merely slid her cool fingers over my skin in an effort to soothe.

"Is the blood on your skin from…" Charlotte hesitantly pointed where dried blood had stuck to my skin, and I gave a slightly bitter laugh as I realized what she was asking.

"No, she's alive. Just barely." I sighed in frustration. "There was a wreck, and she's pretty hurt." It surprised me just how painful that sounded coming from my mouth, and my grip on the tree tightened as I was sure I could almost feel the agony ripping through her again and again as I tried to keep her calm enough to stop the screams that were threatening to rip from her throat. What was going on with me?

"You left because you didn't want to kill her?" Peter looked at me incredulously, his frown becoming a little more pronounced, a little more skeptical. I gave him a warning look and ignored the glance he gave his mate. Not only did he want to think I was lying; he was probably hoping I was just kidding, and I had brought her along to show them.

"I was stopped before I could, and when I got the chance, I left." I breathed in slowly, taking in the elk a few miles off, the birds above, and the puma on the mountain nearby. Slight thirst ached in the back of my throat, but I pushed it down. After centuries of letting it rule me, it could wait.

"But you were going to." Peter stated it as a fact, not a question. I glanced back up at his red irises, watching the diluted bloody color swirl around sickeningly. Did I want those eyes again?

"I… don't know. I want to, badly… but I don't know if I can." I let my head fall into my hands, fighting back the sick feeling of slight disgust from Peter.

"You're letting one human girl have that kind of control over you? Since when has anyone ruled Jasper Whitlock? What happened all those years you've been with the Cullens? If anything could warrant to the sudden change in you, this has to be it. Have they changed your outlook? Are you a saint now? Have you gone soft? Are you weak?" He asked bitterly, voice half a growl, and without a second thought I found myself launching across the space between us, letting my momentum slam me into him, letting us fly across the expanse of the forest. Peter, only slightly surprised at my attack, maneuvered his body to the side, latching onto my neck and wrenching upward, softly, but enough to let a snarl rip from my throat. Pulling my feet up, I pushed them between us, sending him flying against a tree where, with a sickening crack, the tree gave way, slamming to the ground with a thunderous thud.

I spun to the side, feeling him about to attack from that angle. My leg connected with his shoulder as he dodged a chest kick, opting for a underside spin, almost managing to grab my leg. I was counting on that though. Dropping down, i let my hands hold me up, kicking up and slamming him in the chest, launching myself after him, landing on top as we rose up above the trees, our snarls rippling from our throats in a cacophany of noise that sent my into an even wilder state. Lifting his arm, Peter managed to knock his teeth against my jaw, rattling me, but further enraging me. As we fell, trees and braches brushing us like feathers, I let us begin to spin, slamming him into every tree on the way down. Peter kicked out, taking my breath away for a second as he gained purchase on my chest, pushing me down, kicking up. Grabbing his ankle, I yanked, slamming him into the ground before I could, landing on his chest, a snarl rippling from between my teeth. He would not win.

I didn't need a second's thought. Rolling to the side, I grabbed a hold of his arms, wrenching them back up towards his head, pulling, letting the desire to maim rush through my veins like fresh, live blood. I brought my teeth towards his neck, prepared to injure, to maim, to kill… to murder… my friend.

And then my sanity was back.

With a muted groan, I pushed him away, only half aware of the rippling snarls and hisses emitting from Charlotte as she reached our violent scene. Falling back, I leaned against another tree, managing not to uproot it, managing to keep my cool as Peter turned to observe me with eyes burning at me. He wasn't angry, but he was definitely wary of me now. He remembered how I had beaten him before, and now the memories were probably fresh in his mind.

"Your skills… haven't diminished all of these years." He conceded, dipping his head in a sign of respect. I froze, guilt washing over me as I realized that I had once again gained upper favor from violence. From my own calculative strength, I got my own friend to change his words around. Next to him, Charlotte was assessing the already healed rips from his skin, a worried frown on her face.

"I'm sorry." I groaned, sliding to the ground. What was wrong with me? My own friend…

"I was goading you, friend. I didn't fully understand your feelings on the subject." I jerked slightly at his words, but found myself agreeing. He was right; I wasn't just thirsty for her. She was something else for me.

"Something not even I can fully comprehend." I replied, feeling sick. I looked up to see Peter and Charlotte giving each other a knowing glance. I could feel the curiosity burning off of them, but the acknowledgment to my already broken thread. It wouldn't do well to push me. Peter remembered that now.

The thirst suddenly grew white hot in the back of my throat, and I realized that I needed to hunt, and hunt fast. As if sensing my unease, Peter and Charlotte both backed up, giving me a welcoming wide berth.

"You could come with us." Peter offered, his red eyes glinting invitingly in the cloudy light. I could feel the burn flaring up, rich and hot against my tongue at the thought of hunting humans, and I just barely had the control to jerk my head as my muscles tensed in ready anticipation.

"No… I'll stay within my diet." I said softly, turning towards the area with the puma. Larger wild animals would prowl there, their blood not as revolting as an herbivore's. Peter gave me an incredulous look before he, disgusted at my shotty control, turned away to flit through the trees towards a hunter's camp. Charlotte gave my hand a squeeze before she too turned away after him. Looking back up at the gray and blue sky, I fell back against the tree again, ignoring the crackling noise it gave as I fell a bit too harshly.

What was I doing here? Why couldn't I go with them? Maybe if I did have a human, just one…

"No…" I groaned, spitting the vile substance from my mouth, watching it sizzle against the ground, sinking into the soil and killing it almost instantly. I couldn't. If I had one… even just one… I would kill her. I was sure of it.

These vampires that I'm surrounded by… they don't know. They can't understand what it means. The one who has the closest experience would be Bella, but even her words can't reach me. Her life, her meaning is right there next to her, telling her how amazing she is with every word that drips from his tongue. Rosalie, in all of her smug vanity has Emmett who constantly idolizes her in more ways than one. Carlisle has Esme, their love thick and full of understanding with one another that not a lot of people could see or understand the nuanced devotion they have for each other. Peter and Charlotte have such a gentle love, something that is strange to happen with my equally vicious friend. At the same time though, they all have something in common that I can never have. They all have something to live an eternity for.

What do I have to live for?


	10. El Futuro en el Pasado

_So, sorry for the bad sense of updating! I have to say, this holiday has been fun :P Hope your guy's Christmas (or any other holiday celebrated) was good!! I have to say, I was very disappointed about the low number of reviews. Yes, I'm complaining ^_^ Hopefully this one will get 15? Maybe? Hopefully? _

_Oh, and if you have questions, just leave them in a review, and I'll reply either in the notes like this one, or I'll reply to the actual thing if you're logged in. _

_So, thanks for the whole Jasper thing! I loved writing his fighting scene, and I can't wait to do more of him! But, let's get back to Alice, shall we?_

_As always, thanks, and review!!_

_

* * *

__They didn't care. You could smile, you could make them see you were more human than they were, you could act completely nuts. It didn't matter what you did, or how you behaved. Once you were diagnosed, it was over. To them, there was no cure for insanity –a state in which there is repetition in meaningless actions- and we were forever condemned to repeat the same things over and over because they made us. In a way, you could say they simply added to the insanity. They didn't help it. Subconsciously, they egged it on. _

_Only I wasn't insane. _

_"So, what do you see today?" He steepled his fingers, gazing at me with intelligent, greedy green eyes. I stared at him, keeping my eyes trained on his forehead, refusing to look into his eyes. They were too sickened and diluted with the pain of others; I couldn't bear to see his future. And yet… I saw it anyway. Everyone treated me like I had control over what I saw... but I didn't. It was forced upon me, painful if I resisted, and if I didn't... sometimes what I saw was punishment enough. _

_"You're going to have Sonic tonight." I mumbled, monotone. I felt sick, dizzy almost from the medicine he'd put me on, and it slowly became hard to focus on his face. Or maybe it was because his face wasn't really __his__ face anymore. No, no, it was molding… transmogrifying into something terrifying, something beautiful and deadly at the same time. _

_"Are you sure about that?" Jasper hissed, leaning up slightly, his breath sickeningly sweet. His eyes were a thick, diluted black that made my breath become ragged in fear, but I struggled to contain it. For some reason, I knew that would make it worse. Breathing wouldn't help. _

_"I… can't say." I breathed, fighting against the hold on my wrists that he suddenly had. His hands were gripping the bones of my arms in a vice-like hold that was too painful to describe. I clenched my teeth to ignore the way my bones felt like they were grinding together. For some reason, I was more afraid of crying out in pain than having him touch me. _

_"Oh?" He looked down at my hands, disinterested. "I wonder why." Looking back up at me, Jasper leaned in, like he was going to tell me something. "Do you want to know why?" He asked, and suddenly I realized how white his teeth were. I felt myself nodding. "Well then… I'll demonstrate." _

_I bit back a scream as his teeth sunk into my neck. _

Distortion. Everything in my mind was distorted, fragments of coherency bouncing between jumbled thoughts and images as I felt myself slowly rise to consciousness. It was so disoriented I don't think I even knew that I was rising to alertness. All I knew was that something was changing, a toss between hands, a fight between foes. It was not a quick battle; it was more like a slow internal struggle that refused to let me utter a sound as I felt slow waves of heat and pain roll across my mind like an inferno.

Slowly, ever so slowly though, something did rise. It fought its way through my tangled psyche, hesitantly and cautiously, aware that any movement noticed by the drug would pull me back down into darkness. It wasn't a complex thought, but it wasn't light and supple. When it finally wrenched its way through the rest of my being, the words, "I shouldn't be alive" left me feeling slightly uneven, and even more disfigured than before.

My subconscious was right; I shouldn't be alive.

"Dad, I'm so sorry, I should have been looking-" The voice was low but panicked and remorseful.

"You didn't see it; neither did she. I'm just glad you're alright." The voice was familiar, in a way, and it faded in and out gruffly, full of love but exasperation. Where had I heard it before? It was like sand paper in my ears, but I struggled to listen, aware that the more I heard, the less doped up I would be.

"It's just… I should have been more responsible." There was regret, but a fatigued kind, like the person didn't want to talk. Who was I dealing with here? I struggled to open my eyes, but it seemed too much work for the drug that was still in my system; I sunk a little lower into the muddling shadows, my eyelids refusing to budge.

"You're ok, aren't you? That's all I could ask for." There was an awfully awkward sound to this tone, like the person wasn't used to mushy love moments, but I couldn't be sure. The voices echoed around me, making my head hurt slightly. What was going on with me? Small pictures began to blossom in my mind, a scrunched up face, a sleeping girl, a mangled car... the pictures blurred, and I felt my throat itch at the thought of not being able to focus.

"Is she alright?" The girl –I was sure it was a girl now- appeared to not be used to affection being displayed either. "I would hate it if there was something horribly wrong." Who was this girl? I managed to open my eyes into slits, soft light penetrating my retinas and making me wince. I barely managed to keep them open with the bright lights blinding me.

"She'll be fine; she's just on medication to help her heal. You understand... she was hurt worse than you were. Oh... you'll have to call your mother when we get home." There was regret, and guilt in the man's voice. What was he guilty about? Who was mother?

"You… called mom." The girl's voice was dull but I could hear a hint of exasperation and anger in it. The girl didn't want mother called, apparently. Turning my head slowly in the direction of the voices, away from the blinding light, I managed to open my eyes wider to see a slightly blurry image of a man and a girl around my age talking. The girl was strapped to a bed, a leg propped up with a cast, and the man seemed middle aged, worn out. He wore a poofy police jacket, his gun unintentionally showing. He was standing next to her, I realized, holding her hand like it was anchoring him to the ground. The concern was so thick I had to close my eyes for a second to block it out. A father and his daughter. It was beautiful. I could see them later having dinner when she went home, her hobbling around the kitchen with crutches, managing to skillfully bake enchaladas while he waited awkwardly at the table. It was a cute, yellow kitchen, the colors made to attempt to brighten up Fork's dull appearance.

"I… had to. You've been here for five days, and today isn't your last day." The man moved away, his features becoming clearer to me as he turned slightly in my direction. He had soft brown eyes underneath a shock of black hair, an equally dark moustache moving as he chewed something in his mouth.

It was Police Chief Swan.

Ok, it was time to talk. Any noise would do, just a noise to let me know I could still talk. How about, 'hello'? That was a simple word… not too many syllables. Ok, I could do this. Three… two… one…

"NNrrrg…" Moaned my treacherous lips. Oh, that wasn't good. I don't think my foreign language teachers would like this at all. Maybe it could pass as German? For some reason, I don't think it would.

"Miss Alice?" A musical voice sang through my ears, pulling my dazed and monologue type thoughts out of the dark and into the open. There was an alarm clock if I ever heard one. Maybe I could record that voice and have it as my alarm? I would always get up on time. Not like I had much to convince me to stay asleep. My thougths refused to settle, and I had to make myself content with the inability to focus. My eyes opened wider as I saw at the foot of my bed the same doctor from before. A doctor. Doctor. Bad. Very, very bad.

I resisted the urge to scream. The pressure built in the back of my throat, cutting off my air.

As if sensing my slight alarm, he took a slight step back, giving me space like a good guy would... not a doctor. Somewhere in the back of my muddled mind, I appreciated the gesture. For some reason I wanted him to know that I kind of respected his respect for my feelings on the matter, but it was far back enough in my wavy thought process I didn't really register it. I kept my eyes anchored to his every movement though, taking in the way he moved almost too slowly to keep me calm. Something about it made me think of The Crocadile Hunter around a dangerous animal, and I felt the urge to smile wryly. In the background, I could hear an annoying beeping that kept time with my hammering heart. What was the deal with that thing?

"I'm glad you're awake; we weren't sure if you were going to come through or not." He seemed oddly concerned for my welfare, staring at my face a bit too long for comfort, but I didn't complain. It was no use. Doctors did what they wanted, and that was final. Why argue with a pole? The only difference between the two would be one could talk back. Either way though, you lost.

"W-what?" I felt my lips moving, finally letting words fall out. What exactly had happened to me? Pull through? People said that when the situation was serious... how serious was this? Did I almost die? I kept my gaze locked on him, keeping him in sight as he watched me with the same scrutiny. Neither of us wanted to back down, but for entirely different reasons, I suppose. I don't think he was waiting for me to dope him up or send him into cardiac arrest or God knows what else, but that may be just me. I didn't want to tangle with him. If anything, his scrutiny only made me self conscious.

"You went into a panic induced coma that had us a little worried for awhile. I'm glad you're alright though." His words were heavy and hard to digest for a second, but the moment they shrunk in, I realized exactly what happened to me. It all clicked like a key in a lock.

"Oh my gosh, is everyone alright?" I asked, feeling my heart skidder and pick up pace. I don't know what I'd do if someone else was hurt because of me. My vision said I'd die, no one else. If anyone else died... I don't know what I'd do. How much guilt would I be able to take before I was back in the nut house for a completely different reason? "How is Jasper? The people we hit? Tell me they're alright!" The doctor put a hand on my shoulder, pushing me back against the pillows, his touch making me flinch. It was a gesture to calm me down, but it did just the opposite. His frigid hands made me feel the need to scream. Doctors shouldn't touch. Not allowed. Not if I can help it.

"Marie Swan is ok; she's in the cot next to you if you want to talk to her later. My son, Jasper, on the other hand…" Dr. Cullen looked down at his clipboard, worry stealing over his face despite the calm exterior he had. "He's in critical, in a special ward." Sighing, he looked at me with a hesitant smile. "He'll be ok, but it will take a longer time for him to heal, I'm afraid." I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I had done that to him? Looking up at Dr. Cullen, I felt immediately ashamed that I was worried about him when I was the one that nearly killed his son. I didn't have the right. Why did I let him get in the car with me? Was I so desperate for a nice smile, a comforting person, that I put him in danger? I should have known better than to drive with my condition.

"I- I'm so sorry." I felt myself mumbling. I couldn't believe it. It was impossible! I desperately tried to search through the future, but it was as jagged as a piece of shattered glass. There was nothing to tell me what was going to happen. There were too many fragments and details that had to fall into place first, and I wasn't sure if I wanted them too or not. I wasn't sure if I was really prepared for the answer.

"It's alright, there's nothing to worry about." I looked up to see his eyes bright, optimistic. He really believed Jasper would be alright. "It will take longer, but he'll over come this; I know it." I blinked, suddenly suspicious of the double edged wording he had dished out to me. What was Dr. Cullen playing at? Or maybe I'm being paranoid; maybe I was simply bias because I despised doctors. That would be it. That had to be it.

"Still… it's my fault. I shouldn't have let him come with me." I muttered, hoping he didn't hear. I looked up at the heart monitor, watching my heartbeats pound harshly against the sensor, feeling guilt wash over me. I almost killed someone. What did it feel like to be a murderer? I looked down at my hands, one of them half covered with a casing, the other containing small nicks and scrapes. Would I be able to tell if he was dead? How would I know if I was the one who did it?

"What's the damage control?" I asked after a moment of dead silence. Looking back up at him, I was slightly surprised to see his strange gold eyes appraising me with something close to admiration. But what would he admire me for? If I was in his position, I'd hit me. Damage control, right. Foot in the mouth.

"You have a hair line fractured rib, a broken arm, light flesh wounds, some internal bleeding, and stitches along your torso from the window shield." He spoke this slowly, waiting to see my reaction to the extent of my injuries. Surprisingly, I didn't feel panic set in. I could feel it in the way my body ached that it would be pretty serious, and my worry for his son was over powering the worry for myself. I was alive, despite my future. Jasper was lying at the brink of death, and it was my fault. It was certain I'd be alright, but what about him? Sure, the kid seemed pretty bi-polar, but that didn't mean he deserved to die or anything. In the asylum, I'd seen much worse from people who deserved less.

"So, nothing too big." I forced a grimace at him, trying to keep things light. There was no need for him to come any closer than he already was. "How's Mr. Swan's daughter?" I kept a keen eye on him as he walked around the bed, closer to the scratches on my arm, closer to me. I held my breath as he advanced, clipboard in hand, face relaxed. Could anything really get to this guy? His son was in ICU because of me! Maybe he was just putting up a front. Maybe he was more worried than I was. Maybe the medication hadn't worn off, and I was imagining this entire thing.

"She's been progressing the best by far; her truck was much sturdier than your car, giving her the space and stability to avoid too many major injuries." He leaned over to the bed where a weary looking girl was laying down, probably pretending to be asleep. She would wake up soon, most likely after Dr. Cullen left. She probably didn't want be right in the middle of our business. Even though I didn't know her, I respected her for that.

"Her truck?" I couldn't really remember the vehicle that we crashed into; I just remember crashing into something. Though, my car was spinning and grating around something, what else could it be? It was probably an old, rusted red ford that made mince meat out of European cars for a living.

"Yes, a state of the art ford truck, twenty years past its prime." I wasn't surprised to hear Mr. Swan's daughter's voice float in our direction; she had changed her mind the moment I had asked about the truck. Sometimes, I really hate people who can't decide. It makes everything else go out of perspective. I turned to face her, still feeling the doctor's prescence nearby.

"How'd my car manage?" I asked, feeling slight apprehension at the news. I see myself staring at a literally broken and twisted up version of my once proud and beautiful spider. Mince meat, like I said. My heart broke as I saw how my car would look.

"Not so well, unfortunately." Dr. Cullen looked slightly regretful at this, but maybe I was just imagining it. I don't think many people that lived in Forks, of all places, could really appreciate what a Turbo Spider could do on a road. I looked down, knowing that my parents would give me hell when they realized just how serious the accident was.

Wait… my parents…

"Where are my parents?" I felt myself blurting out suddenly, feeling a little awkward with the way the girl's brown eyes gazed at me with pity. What happened? And then I saw; they were going out to eat in Seattle tonight, leaving me here by myself. How sweet of them to care.

"They were really worried about you." Dr. Cullen said softly, setting his clipboard onto the nearby table. I didn't have to be a genius to know he was lying, but to save the awkward situation, I nodded along dumbly, pretending to believe him. Why let two complete strangers know what was going on in my life? I had no reason to trust the doctor, and the girl was alright, but no. They didnt' need to know, and that was end of discussion.

"I'm sure. They both have their jobs though! They know I wouldn't appreciate them shirking their jobs." I replied, disregarding the fact that, let's face it, my mother doesn't work. I slid farther along into my covers, as if trying to convey my reluctance to discuss this. As if picking up on that fact, Dr. Cullen gave another pitying smile before backing away slowly, giving an excuse about checking on his son before leaving, a soft, cool scent, almost like peppermint the only reminder that he had been in the general vicinity.

I looked back over to the girl, noticing the way she seemed to be constantly blushing about something. When she caught my gaze, she turned a violent red and turned away, mumbling something apologetic under her breath before she turned the TV on. Amongst the whirring and beeping of the machines, a stupid sitcom began to blare in the background, distracting me from the future that kept springing up in my head, every Cullen unsurprisngly absent.

"Do you like to watch anything?" She asked, eyebrows raised in question. I shook my head slowly; I didn't watch TV. Peering closely at her, now that I had the chance, I realized that I didn't recognize this girl from school, at all. That probably explained why she was talking to me. Now that the Fork's teenagers had a real reason to stray from the new girl (besides Mike Newton's rumors) I had been expecting the girl to do the same. Instead, she seemed polite, straightforward, and very nice.

"Do you go to Forks High?" I asked after a few moments of her watching a mindless sitcom that she didn't seem amused by. Turning back to me, she shook her head slowly, slight wonderment in her eyes at my question. Surprised, I gazed at her face, knowing that she had to be young; she couldn't be older than twenty. Or maybe I was just a really bad guesser? No, she was 19. She had just turned it a few months ago. As she would be telling me in three... two... one...

"No, I'm 19, and I graduated just this last May." She explained in her low, laid back voice, cracking a slow and easy smile that made me smile back, despite myself. She wasn't a false friendly style like the people at Forks; she was polite and straightforward. I might have gained a friend from nearly killing her.

If that made any sense at all.

"Oh, you look pretty young for your age." I commented, realizing too late that I had once again let the conversation drop with my musings. I really needed to stop doing that; people thought it strange in the real world. At the insane asylum, people would forget even talking in general, let alone a conversation. It was easy to ponder things and respond minutes later, knowing they'd know exactly what you were talking about.

"I could say the same for you." Marie chuckled, and I had to laugh along too, realizing that I probably looked like a kid to some people with my lack of height and pixie hair cut. Smiling, I nodded slowly, subtly stretching my neck at the same time. It was sore and felt like something had been scraped across it painfully. Reachign up, I probed the flesh slowly, feeling shallow scrapes along my skin, and two random bumps on the side of it. What had happened? Had the windowshield shattered all over me or something? As I tried to see what I was feeling, my vision suddenly blacked out, and I couldnt' see anything of the real world. I could feel it though, every dust mote and particle brushing my skin, sending me in a silent frenzy. My senses felt haywire.

_Someone was watching me, their blurry shape taking away everything in the room. I couldn't see my future._

The room came back slowly like waves at sea; everything swam in and out of focus with a sickening rate. My throat closed up from my gasping in relief as my instincts informed me that the girl, Marie? Yes, Marie was watching me with confusion on her face.

I frowned slightly, turning away from Marie to try to focus harder on the vision. What had I seen? I couldn't really see much, except that it was a guy, and he was Indian. Who was the Native American? He would be coming soon, and coming for Marie, but for some reason he also seemed concerned with me. He would give me a lot of probing glances. Who was he?

Thankfully, Marie seemed the type to not ask a lot of questions; she merely looked back at the TV with feigned interest, ignoring my lapse of sanity. Bless her.

"Sorry…" I mumbled, turning back to her, ignoring the twinge of pain my neck gave. "I'm not used to aching all over." Marie gave me a wry smile, shrugging.

"I'm pretty unlucky I guess. This is a permanent residence for me, almost. I think it even has my name somewhere on it." She joked, gesturing to her cot. I smiled along with her, but I couldn't shake the slight apprehension for the tan skinned man that would be coming. I couldn't focus on him again; it was like I had never seen the vision.

"Are you expecting anyone to come?" I asked boldly, keeping an eye on the door in case Cullen decided to drop in. He was a doctor, and I wasn't taking any chances.

"Well, my dad had to go to work, so not really." Marie smiled serenely, and I slightly envied her clam disposition. She was a good person.

"Oh, well in that case-"

"MARIE!" The room exploded in sound, and I nearly jumped out of my skin as a russet skinned Indian burst into the door, grinning and waving like he had just won a medal.


	11. Amonestacion

_Thanks to those who reviewed, I really appreciate it! I didn't get a lot of reviews this time though... :( Very sad... So, I'm not going to update again until I get 15 reviews!! :) I mean it... haha, _

_So, this took a little bit, and I'm not sure exactly how I feel about it. these past few chapters have kind of been filleresque, so I'll try to get on with it :] but I have to do these to be able to get on with it! _

_NOTICE: I've started a new story, Under Lock and Key, so if you guys could check it out and review, I'd love you guys forever! It needs a solid amount of reviewers, so if you just drop a line, :) I would be a happy author. And happy authors make good stories (or at least faster updates) _

_Oh yeah, and someone wanted to know the chapter titles, so I'm going to be posting them on my homepage, check it out, and see what you need! Thanks!  
_

_So, if there are any grammar mishaps, sorry, no beta on this chapter, or the two before. She's on break, so bare with me guys! We all need breaks, yes? Anywho, enjoy!!_

_

* * *

_

_The doctors would take turns talking to you, asking questions and probing your mind like you were a dead specimen, ready to be dissected. It didn't matter how many times you said you didn't want to talk, they pried anyway. Even if you were sick, they wanted to know how it felt to be insane and sick at the same time. Like it was different to be sick and insane. To me, they were the twisted, crazy patients. Their ideas of science worse than the most unstable of patients in Biloxi. They wanted to control your reactions to see how it would affect your actions. It was like an entire laboratory, the mental patients the rats that no one cared about. We could run through mazes, as long as it was us getting shocked, it didn't matter, in a manner of speaking. No, there weren't real mazes, and we didn't run, but in our minds, we were running at break neck speeds, jumping through hoops no one else could see. No one cared; it didn't matter. We were mental patients; why would it? There was only one doctor I could stand to talk to, and he was the one who usually interrogated me. _

_His name was Dr. Neal Brandon._

_He was always trying to talk to me, ask questions about how I saw the visions. I think I slowly began to frustrate him with my lack of a detailed response, but he was patient. I could never say that he was frustrated during the sessions; I could only see his confusion and annoyance afterwards when he looked back on our conversations. He was always looking at me in the most peculiar way… it was surreal. Like he really knew me, but didn't. _

_He was the only one who didn't denounce me as a liar or an insane, psychopathic youth, even though on many occasions I'd dared him to write it in his diagnosis since he was so keen on labeling me as __something__. He was patient, understanding, even with my sharp tongue and biting attitude. Everything a father should be, in my eyes. And every time I had to sit down with him and tell him everything I could, I found myself wishing that one day he would adopt me or something. My real father didn't write, didn't visit… nothing._

_It wasn't like he was old and ugly. He seemed like the type of guy that grew better looking with age. He had light brown hair with a side part, loosely kept. He had the strangest blue eyes, like he was always looking for something deeper than what he found. He wasn't the tallest of men, more average height than anything. _

_He was the only one who never referred to me as a freak._

I couldn't help it; I almost let out a startled yelp as the towering Indian bounded into the room. He seemed like he would break out of his own clothing with his towering frame, broad shoulders, and loud personality. The guy couldn't be less than 6 ½ feet tall, and I was sure he was probably still growing. He was built like a body builder without the steroids, muscles rippling underneath russet skin. As if to take away the fearsome appearance he knew he was making, the boy gave a toothy smile, pearly whites a stark contrast from his skin color. Embarrassed by my response, I hunkered into my bed, trying to distract myself from my blunder by looking into his future to see where I'd intertwine.

I was soon going to stop being surprised when I couldn't see people's futures anymore.

As it was, I was still surprised. There was a block around it, like he didn't even exist. If I closed my eyes and tried to see into his future, it was like he wasn't even in the room anymore. How was I able to see it just a moment ago, but now it was gone? Now that he was here… I couldn't see anything! Raising my eyebrows at him, I let a small smile take over my face as a sheepish grin stole over his. He probably hadn't realized that there was another person in the room.

"Oops… sorry. I have a habit of bursting in like that." He apologized with an easy smile, grabbing a chair with his massive hands to pull over and sit down on. I swear the chair was going to break underneath the pressure, but it merely sagged slightly, the only indication of his weight being the metallic groan when he first sat down.

"It's ok… I'm beginning to get used to the shock factor." I shrugged, looking over at Marie to see her smile suddenly much friendlier and less polite. They had to be best friends. Judging from the way he kept looking back at her, the feelings ran a little deeper on his side, romantics wise. She seemed to notice this, and I almost laughed when she turned a bright red.

"Jacob, this is Alice. Alice, this is Jacob." Marie gestured, and I waved over at him with my good arm. He gave another warm smile at me, and I almost saw him like an over large dog, all smiles and tail wagging. Not like Mike Newton's over bearing people pleasing style, but a warm, happy attitude that made me feel really welcome for the first time in Forks.

"I got the call from Billy about this happening… why didn't you tell me sooner?" Jacob asked, scooting closer to her with his chair, eyebrows scrunched together in concern when he took a closer look at her leg. Marie tried to pull her leg away from his scrutiny, but the sling that held it elevated prevented it from major movement. All it managed to do was swing sluggishly back and forth, making Jacob laugh a rich, deep laugh.

"I couldn't exactly get to a phone." She reminded him, turning an even deeper shade of red that looked good on Christmas trees. I smiled and hunkered farther into my covers, ignoring the tugging sensation of my stitches. The pain meds kept me from really feeling them, but if I moved too much, they became a little bothersome. I would be ecstatic when they finally came out.

"Oh… Marie, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." He leaned up and put a large hand on her forehead, checking her temperature no doubt to make sure she was comfortable. Marie wriggled away from his touch, her skin flushed from his contact. What was up with that? Jacob didn't seem phased though; he merely fluffed the pillows next to her, trying to stay focused on not altogether freaking out. It was obvious he was like a mother hen with her, and she didn't appreciate being coddled. If anything, Marie seemed to prefer just being left in the background. Something else to appreciate about her.

"Jacob, I'm fine! Really, just sit down, we can talk!" Marie pushed his attempts at helping away with exasperation; her face hunkered into her covers to hide her embarrassment. I laughed at the picture they made; their actions were more amusing than the sitcom. Jacob turned and looked at me, realizing I had been watching.

"Hey, you're the new girl in Forks, right?" He asked, his grin widening. I nodded slowly, noticing that his wasn't the nosy, get the dirt kind of question; he was just getting a feel for who I was. It was refreshing, and I smiled to myself, surprised that I felt so at ease with these complete strangers. Still… they could be potential enemies. Though I felt perfectly fine with them, I wasn't stupid. I knew firsthand just how ugly things could get when words were passed between strangers. Though I didn't want to think horribly of them… a girl had to be cautious, right?

"That would be me, why?" I had my hand poised over the help button in case things got ugly; I didn't want conflict, but if this was about the fiasco on Friday, blood would be shed. I tensed, waiting.

"No way! You're the chick with the Spyder! When I heard about your car… I just had to see it. I got to scavenge through the wreck, and I saved some parts of yours." Slightly sheepish, Jacob looked down at the ground, but I didn't miss the satisfactory smile on his face. "Hope you don't mind." My eyes bugging out of my sockets, I almost started blubbering when I realized what he had just told me.

"You know cars?" I breathed, leaning foreword for emphasis. Marie started laughing brightly, making Jacob give her a warm smile in return before he gave me a questioning glance.

"He only remakes different cars in his spare time." Marie grinned at him, shaking her head slowly. "You don't know what you've just done." Laughing, I nodded my head.

"I was waiting for someone to be able to say they knew what kind of car I drove… wow…" I breathed, leaning in as far as possible. This huge, overbearing Indian guy had to be my hero now. He knew what a Spyder was.

"I mourned the car's death." Jacob said solemnly as he shook his head sadly. I nodded again, feeling his pain. It was a beautiful car, and now I would be lucky to drive at all. My father couldn't drive well to save his life, and my mother probably never thought to get behind the wheel unless it was for shopping. I guess when I finally got out of here I'd be walking to school.

"Thank you, I don't think anyone else in this town would." I felt at ease with this big lug, and despite the warnings in my head about his lack of a future, I relaxed a little, letting his easy chatter between Marie and me flow.

Sure enough though, he kept tossing me strange glances, his dark eyes questioning as he assessed my injuries. He kept giving me the weirdest looks that I'd return politely enough, but it was still strange. What was he trying to do?

"How bad was it?" He asked me finally as I gave him a weird look in response to his.

"It wasn't that bad… I mean, Jasper was there to help me out." I shrugged nonchalantly, trying to repress the strong concern I had for him. If he was permanently damaged because of me… I would probably die of mortification.

"Jasper… Cullen." Jacob said slowly, the words sounding strange on his lips. His upper lip curled back slightly, revealing large pearly whites that gleamed brightly in the generic light bulbs in the room. I glanced at Marie to see her awkwardly trying to grab his arm to get his attention.

"Yeah, he kind of saved me at his expense." I tacked on, flinching back as he gripped his large hands into taut fists, eyebrows mashing together into concentration that made me slightly wary. Marie's calm face went worried at the mention of Jasper, and she pulled herself up, leaning over to Jacob slowly. I watched his face change into an expression that didn't seem to fit him; it was like someone else was taking over.

"What was he doing in your car with you?" He asked in a deadly voice, each word sharp and distinct from the others. A tremor racked his body, and he closed his eyes, concentrating on something. I watched avidly, hand finding its way to the help button despite my instincts to wait.

"He was trying to help… it was a rough day." I replied vaguely, remembering the way he had tried to calm me down and console me. It was totally different from how he had acted before, and though he was suffering worse than I was for it, I still appreciated the gesture he made. Even though now he was on the brink of death because of me.

"Ha… haha, right. A _Cullen_," He hissed the last part, head in his hands, shaking it back and forth. Marie struggled to move past her leg to get to him, her face showing too much worry for a normal situation, "Jasper… of all people… trying to help?" His laugh was black and dark, sending shivers up my spine in a way that made me terribly uneasy. I pushed the thick red button, praying someone made it soon to the room. I didn't like where this was heading, and because Jacob was here, I couldn't see anyone's futures.

"He's worse off than I am from it. He helped at his own risk." I managed evenly, feeling anger in my gut. Who was he to insult someone who threw his life away for me? I glared at him, bristling a little.

"I promise you," Jacob said in a strangled voice, shaking his head slowly, "Jasper _Cullen_," He spat the last name, "Is perfectly fine." He looked back up at me, dark eyes straining for me to understand. Marie was gripping his arm, jerking it back with her frail muscles, despite her leg getting in the way. She was pretty flexible, I realized, as if she had taken ballet. There was a lot to this girl than meets the eye, and ironically, there was a lot to this conversation than met the eye. I glanced worriedly at the door, praying for someone,_ anyone_ to stop what was going on. Where was a doctor when you actually needed him?

"I don't get what you mean." I said softly, hating the high pitched tone to my voice. It made me sound like a child, and I didn't want to be treated like a child right now. The Indian wanted me to understand something, and I was missing it. What was I missing?

"I… I can't say. But, you'll get it, soon enough. It would be best that you stay away from him though." Jacob's face had completely changed from the friendly, open expression to a cool, distant attitude that was almost like a slap in the face. He was distant and remote, like something had happened to suck the happiness right out of him. Marie's face darkened at that look, and I felt like I was right smack dab in the middle of a soap opera.

"Miss Alice, someone said you rang the help button, is everything-" Dr. Cullen suddenly walked in, turning a few pages on his clipboard before he stopped, his gold eyes observing Jacob with a strange, a warning look on his face The feel of the room went from awkward caution to tense and angry in a matter of seconds, Jacob and Dr. Cullen giving each other the stare down of the century. I desperately tried to look ahead to see what would happen to Marie, me, anybody, but it was like I couldn't see anything. I was completely blocked off from my gift, and the feeling of not knowing was like a sucker punch in the gut; slightly rewarding, but painful none the less. This was not how I wanted to lose my gift.

Jacob was shaking, his eyes trained on Dr. Cullen like he was anchoring him in place. Dr. Cullen was hesitant, a frown gracing his perfect features, distorting it. Marie was leaning up towards Jacob, worry gracing her pale face, hands clamped on Jacob's shaking forearm, trying to snap him out of it again. I sat there in my bed, feeling useless and confused.

Without warning Jacob stood up, his chair flying from underneath him. Pulling his arm from Marie's grasp almost too roughly, he slowly made his way over to the door, his entire frame quivering from head to toe. I stared, awestruck but worried as Dr. Cullen slowly began walking towards me, away from Jacob without saying a word. It was like a tacit decision made them calmly back away from each other, a wary truce in their eyes.

Obviously, there was animosity between the two.

"Jacob?" Marie leaned forward, caution in her eyes. Ok, the girl was in on it. I felt out of the loop, but something said I needed to be out of it, or I'd regret it. There was something deep and morbid about the entire thing that screamed danger, and I didn't have any business with it. Half of me though, the reckless half I'm sure, wanted to know. It screamed with every fiber of my being to find out, and find out fast.

"I'll… see you later, Marie… Alice, remember what I said." Jacob was practically panting as he leaned against the open door, hatred burning in his eyes as they locked once again with Cullen's. Turning around, he fled the room, his steps surprisingly silent for someone so large. The door closed with a sharp _click!_ That changed the entire mood of the room again. I shook my head, feeling disoriented.

"I… came to tell you that I have good news." Dr. Cullen slowly turned towards me, once again keeping his distance and his movements sure. His voice popped the tense bubble the two had wrapped the room in. "After running a few tests, it has been determined that you will be here for only two more days. If things improve by then, you'll be able to leave." He smiled encouragingly at me, but I wasn't listening. I was in a daze, his voice far away, almost like he was talking in a tunnel, the words jumbled up and unclear.

I could see my future again. It was like I had been slapped with an icy cold towel, the gift rushing through me in a shock of pictures rushing through my mind with such an onslaught of emotion I couldn't block it, even if I wanted to.

_Everyone was talking, but it was twisted between maliciousness and pity. Someone was helping me with my books, but it didn't really matter. They weren't talking, and neither was I. For some reason, it was like I didn't want to talk to them. Something had happened, making it very, very awkward. _

_"You know, it was an accident." I said, keeping my gaze straight ahead, not bothering to look. Something was stopping me. I dodged a stray kid, frowning as they gave me a piteous look._

_"Then why are you treating me like this? I feel bad enough." I snapped as if I had heard a comeback, but in reality it was like no one was there, nor had they spoken. I couldn't see or feel them near. There was no warmth, and I shivered despite myself._

_"Then you should have just saved yourself instead of trying to save me if you're so angry about it." Turning and giving the empty space next to me a withering glare, I stomped into my next class. _

"Alice… nurse, get someone please, Alice, can you hear me?" Something cold was pressed hurriedly against my neck, right at the pulse, the icy chill shocking me out of my vision and back into the present. Giving a startled jerk, I leaned away from the doctor's fingers, my heart accelerating.

"Sir, what do we need?" Another doctor rushed in, his plain and average features contrasting with the statue like Cullen. Instead of being happy another average looking person was in the room with me, I felt panic rise in my chest, shrouding my judgment, and as another doctor came in to help. Before I knew it, I was hyperventilating.

"Her blood pressure's rising, give me the-"

"I need you to get-"

"What happened?"

"Will you-"

"Alice, focus-"

I was staring into professional, impatient eyes as about a dozen doctors rushed around me, trying to get my heart to stop hammering, their yelling and confusion fueling the problem instead of helping it. I jerked away from their hands, anger mounting beneath the fear, and desperately I looked out through the crowd to see Dr. Cullen watching me with studious eyes. His chin was in his hand as he seemed to be trying to figure something out about me. He wasn't rushing around like the rest of the doctors were. No, he was standing still, right at the foot of my bed, gold eyes boring into me. A knowing look donned his face, and he glanced from the doctors rushing about me before looking back to me with realization in his eyes. The man had had an epiphany.

"Everyone, I think I can take it from here; we're only making this worse." He announced in his low, calm voice, and even though he spoke softly, it was like the entire room had been waiting for his voice. They stopped their fluttering around me, eyes turning towards him, and when he tilted his head towards the door, they slowly shuffled out, their quiet voices melting together. As soon as the last one left, I could almost feel my heart calm down.

"Thanks." I breathed, staring back at him with what I hoped was grateful eyes. I was starting to trust this guy, despite his sick profession. Giving an apologetic smile, he went back to the monitor to see the readings up close.

"Not everyone can deal with large crowds." He said, nodding to me, checking a few things off of his clipboard. I narrowed my gaze at him, noticing the knowing smile he had, like he was just saying that for the benefit of Marie who was watching with worried eyes.

"No, not everyone." I agreed, falling back underneath the covers of the bed like it was a security thing. As he finished his readings, he gave me some medicine that was supposed to help with the major aches and pains.

"One side effect though," He smiled brightly at me, watching me swallow the small pills, "you're going to have some pretty vivid dreams. They might not be necessarily true, but please, tell me of the disturbing ones. If they become violent or aggressive, please let me know and we'll find another medicine to help." Nodding along sleepily to his words of advice, I watched as he slowly excited the room, his image slightly fuzzy all around.

"Marie?" My tongue felt thick in my mouth as I strained to see her. She looked away from the TV, eyebrows raised in question. She was slightly pink, like she didn't want me to know she'd seen my little episode.

"Does Jacob… not like the doctor?" I asked, sounding stupid, but still impatient to know. I tried to focus on the way her face became guarded, brown eyes hesitant to share in what she knew. She turned an even brighter red.

"They get along fine… why?" Something was off with her voice, but I couldn't figure out what it was. Multi-colored bubbled crowded my vision, taking away the look of caution on her face. What was I thinking about? What had I been asking? Frowning, I shook my head, feeling the reaction happen a little too late. No, I needed to get answers, I needed to find… out…

"Go to sleep, Alice." Marie was amused, but why? Struggling, I felt something tugging at the back of my mind, pulling me away with more force than before. Giving a half muted sigh, I leaned back against the pillows, falling into a deep sleep almost instantly.

* * *

_He was talking to me, his face slightly pained, but at the same time worried. His eyes were glancing back and forth between me and the window, and peering out of it I saw nothing but rain pounding down. A light cut through the gray rain slamming against my window, and the next thing I knew, I was flying in the air, spinning and swirling like I had wings. _

_Only I didn't. _

_Air rushed around me, whistling in my ears as I picked up more speed, falling faster and faster through the gloom, my eyes taking in too many things at once for this to be real. If this was real, I wouldn't have seen the flash of white from the side, and I wouldn't have seen __his__ face locked in a deadly expression as he latched onto me, pulling me away from the black tarmac that seemed to reach out to kill. _

_And yet… I didn't feel out of danger._

_Something was screaming, growling in my ear, other voices blending back behind his, trying to pull him away, trying to tell him not to do something. What was he going to do? I couldn't be sure, the rain was rushing around me, clouding my senses as the arms that had once encased me were wrenched away from my side, leaving me feeling cold… and empty._

* * *

That was the first dream I had. When I told Dr. Cullen about it, he seemed concerned about something, and the medicine was immediately switched to another drug with an even longer name than the first. I knew that I would have the same dream again for a few nights before they'd change, but I didn't say anything. If I was meant to have the dreams, so be it. Que sera, sera. What will be, will be.

Time crawled by at an alarmingly slow rate, the only things bringing any point to them being when Jacob visited again, this time coming after Dr. Cullen had done his checkups. He also left not five minutes before Dr. Cullen came back. Whether Marie said anything or not, I was sure this was planned. There was a tense atmosphere surrounding them, and it couldn't be just a coincidence that the two people of Forks who didn't get along with each other, I couldn't read their future.

My parents visited the day after my nightmare.

* * *

_To clear a few things up, this isn't Bella that Alice is in the hospital with. This is Marie, Charlie Swan's daughter. I changed things up so that Alice would have some semblance of an ally here! You'll learn Bella's (Edward's mate) History later... k?_

_So, review now, yes? :) Yes. _


	12. Nos Conocemos Otra Vez

_Hey guys!! So, I got 15 reviews fast, so a lot of kudos to you guys! Thanks sooo much for the support!!! To answer a couple of questions... all I can say is that everything will be explained. Like, not being able to see Jacob? Here :]_

_So, let's try for **Twenty** reviews, shall we? If not, I'll just wait for them before I update :P I'm a very patient person!!! Break is almost over, but I'm going to try to make sure I update before I get bogged down from schoolwork, just for you guys! No Jasper in this chapter, but there will be Jasper in the next one, promise! I'm halfway done with it and already typed of him, so I know!!_

_Anywho, on with the show, and I hope you enjoy!  
_

* * *

"_Mammy, he's going to die." I slid my hand from my mother's grip to point at the business man, his phone to his ear, a firm glare in place as he wove his way through the sidewalk traffic. I tugged on my mom's shirt, much to her dislike. _

_"Honey, don't say that." She admonished softly, picking me up and smoothing my bangs from my face, kissing my cheek. I shook my head despite the gesture, desperate eyes turning to the man who stepped on someone's paper that had fallen from their hands, a slight smirk on his face. _

_"But mammy, it's true! I see it!" I tugged against her hold, pointing at him, feeling sick. Why didn't she listen to me? Didn't she see what was going to happen? Was I the only one?  
_

_"Honey, it's rude to point, and don't say that, it's horrible!" My mom grabbed my finger and pulled it down, tapping her finger on my nose. I shook my head, squirming out of her hold to run, panic making my heart pound. At four years old, I had never felt such worry before, and my mother hadn't counted on me trying to get away. As it was, I had never seen something so cruel, so sick before, and I had to stop it. It was my job, even though I was only a little girl. _

_"Alice, Alice get back here!" Her worried tone scalded my ears, but I kept running, trying to catch up to the man in the nice suit, to warn him, to stop him from what was about to happen. There was a crosswalk, the no walking sign stopping people from using it. I saw him, and picking up my stubby legs more, I struggled to reach him. _

_"Little girl, are you-" _

_"NO! I have to tell him something." I said, dodging the worried old man's question, running up to the man with the sneer. I reached out to get his attention when my mother caught up with me. _

_"Honey, Alice, never run from mommy." She scolded, picking me back up and giving me a worried glare. I know she wasn't really mad at me; she was just scared I would get hurt. I was scared too, but not for the reason she was. Pulling myself from her hold, I dropped down and held her hand instead, fear making my knees tremble. _

_"Mammy, I have to tell him something, something __important__." I squealed, feeling my stomach roil unpleasantly. I kept seeing it, over and over again and I had to tell him not to do what he was about to do. I couldn't bare to let it happen. _

_"Honey there's nothing-" There was a squealing of tires, a sick thud of something colliding with something else, and a piercing scream from a bystander as the man was hit by a car. He went flying limply like he hadn't just been talking on the phone or stepping on papers, his face torn from shock and pain. People were yelling, their rushing bodies pressing me closer to my mother, my hand clasped tightly in hers, my eyes wide with fear and sadness. I couldn't get my eyes away from his still body, the cell phone laying at my feet from it flying out of his hands. My mother's shocked cry pulling me from my state of guilt. _

_"Honey, don't look at it." My mother's other hand flew to my eyes, covering the picture of death in front of me. I knew he was dead. From the pooling red color to the strange, unpleasant expression on his face, I knew he wasn't alive. I could have stopped it, but I didn't. I saw it happen, but I wasn't fast enough. Even to my four year old mind, it was my fault that man died. _

_

* * *

  
_

"How are you feeling?" My mother slid into her chair, her eyes assessing my rumpled appearance and half broken body. I noticed the way she sat slightly apart from my father, as if there had been a disagreement, but I couldn't really get a grip on their future together. It was twisting and churning worse than a bed of snakes. Someone would be sleeping in the guest bedroom tonight. My father sat ramrod straight in another chair staring at the wall right above my head.

"Pretty sore, but the medicine helps a lot." I replied, watching as Dr. Cullen slowly pulled the curtain around our bed so that we could have privacy. I also noticed the way he stayed in the room though, obviously listening.

"Do you know what happened?" She asked, face pinched as she clasped her hands neatly in front of her. Looking at her then, I realized that my mother was kind of pretty, in a strictly trust fund baby way. She had dark blond hair that she kept shoulder length and styled in a flippy curl that framed her oval face. Bright, generic blue eyes noted the way I flinched slightly when I jostled my arm, and her relatively tan skin looked healthy. Why did she look so haggard to me then? Had she not slept?

"Not really, no." I lied, noticing the glance down she gave before she turned to see my father's glare.

"It's obvious what happened. You tried to skip, and you got into a reckless accident that didn't need to happen! Do you see what happens when you break the rules?" My father was putting on his best disapproving glare, thick eyebrows almost melding together above his gray, cold eyes.

_"You're grounded!" He spat, turning around and stomping up the stairs._

"I wasn't skipping, dad. I was on my way home… for lunch." I forced a smile, pretending not to see the shock on my mother's face and the disbelief on my father's. The shadow of Dr. Cullen moved recklessly around Marie's still, fake sleeping form.

"You were coming home… to eat with me?" My mother leaned forward, confused. I could almost taste the tangible desire from my mother for a normal teenage daughter to shop and mall around with, but I also sensed her distrust. It wasn't surprising, but I needed that trust right now to stop the anger radiating from my father.

"A likely story. Who were you going to meet?" My father raised his eyebrows, doing his best to faze me. Right. Like someone in Forks wanted to see me.

"My mother." I lied again, watching with satisfaction as she looked like she was about to smile, and my father turned a lovely shade of puce.

"Are you lying to me?" yes… but not for the reason you think I am.

"Why would I need to?" My father gave me a look, like he was about to get into a very lawyer like discussion. He would try to swindle me into a lie, just like he did to the court. What a guy.

"We know you don't like Forks, but you don't have to take it out on the car. It was a pretty price to pay to have it crushed because of you. Why would you take that out on us?" My father leaned forward, chin on his fists that rested on his knees. I focused on his face, trying to keep myself in the present even though my mind was trying to pull me into the future. I couldn't leave, not yet. I had to prove something.

"Do you think I would crash my favorite car of all time to get back at you for moving here?" I kept my voice calm, despite the anger building in my chest. "Really smart of you to ask, but I'm afraid not." Trying to pull myself up, I groaned out a curse as my arm was jostled, sending needle like pressure into my wrist.

"Would you?" His cold eyes said exactly what he though.

"You tell me. You think you know how I would act; you're the one pulling the psychiatric bull on me. So tell me, dad, tell me why I did this." I couldn't help the anger that was building up around me, making me dish out word vomit despite the caution in my mind. I didn't need to push them; I knew better. Why was I letting my anger out at them? I'd generally been good at hiding emotion, why was I losing that gift now?

"Don't use that tone with me, young lady, or you'll regret it." My father's face lost the red touch, but he was angrier than before. Glancing back at my mother, I saw the slight apprehension as she stared at my father, worry clear on her slight pinched fingers. She didn't want an argument, at least not at the hospital. Not with Dr. Cullen listening in on the other side of the curtain. No, that kind of scandal wouldn't bode well for her.

"Uh, you know what? I'm really tired; can we talk about this later?" I forced myself to look forward (thankfully they would actually leave) and I had to fight to keep the smile from my face. Looking back up at them with drooping eyes, I mentally cheered as my father, frowning, merely nodded before turning around and walking out of the door.

"How are your… you know, your-" My mother didn't want to say it out loud, and for once I agreed with her. Dr. Cullen seemed to like listening in on our conversation, and I didn't need him knowing anything that was unnecessary to know. For example, the habit I have of looking into the future where no one else has been yet.

"They're fine." I answered curtly, letting my eyes close all the way so I didn't have to see her face. Silence descended on the room, save for the beeping of my heart monitor, and I thought she too had just up and left. But then there was a soft mumbling near my head, and I felt the pressure of someone giving me a hug. Tensing up, I waited for the person to leave, scared of who it would be. Sure enough, when I opened my eyes a little, I watched as my mother turned the corner, the only one who could have hugged me. There was a soft click as the door to the room closed.

"You can come out now." I said irritably, trying to ignore that I was a little shaken that she would hug me. What was going on? Something pricked in my eye, and I brushed it away angrily. As Dr. Cullen sheepishly came around the curtain, I narrowed my gaze.

"Did you enjoy that?" I asked, jutting my chin out. Dr. Cullen sighed, running a hand through his gorgeous hair in such a human action that I almost laughed. For someone who didn't seem to do much but breath when he was standing still, running his hand through his hair seemed almost an unreal action for him.

"I stayed to make sure you'd be alright." He said slowly, turning his gaze onto me with hesitation. I know he didn't want to subject me to my parents without supervision – I could only imagine how my father would normally act- but it was still like an invasion of privacy. What was with Dr. Cullen? He seemed to know the right time for things, almost as if he knew me, or knew enough to guess when he thought I needed something.

"Sure, thanks, I appreciate it." I lied, turning my head away, feeling a weird pressure in my throat. I don't know what it was, but I didn't like it; it made my eyes feel funny.

"Alice, are you ok?" Dr. Cullen started to cross to the other side, but I turned my head again, feeling the pressure increase.

"I… I think I just want to go to sleep right now, ok?" I turned over, shielding my eyes as they began to water. Oh. Oh no. I was going to _cry_?! I gritted my teeth, the pressure building a little more until I knew I couldn't speak again without my voice cracking. I heard the slight swishing sound of clothing, and then the weight of Dr. Cullen sitting on the side of my bed.

"Have you had any more troubling dreams?" Dr. Cullen asked, voice soft and inviting despite my current feelings. He really did want to help. The more I noticed him, the more I realized that he wasn't in it for the money. Though Dr. Cullen knew what he was doing, he chose to come to Forks to help people in the small town. Dr. Cullen was a good person, through and through. That made one of them.

"No." I grumbled miserably, hoping he didn't notice the slight waver. The visions were starting to come back with a full force, clouding my regular vision again with scenes I didn't want to see. I felt slightly nauseous from the pressure building inside of me, and though he had good intentions, he wasn't helping.

"Are you positive? If you're having trouble sleeping, we can help with that." There was hesitance in his voice now, as if he was becoming aware of why I was acting like a spoiled brat.

"No, I'm fine. Never been better." I took a deep breath past the lump, curling up a little more to cradle my other arm. It was starting to burn slightly, the heat racing up and down my arm strangely like it was following the veins specifically.

"If you're sure there's nothing wrong, I won't push it. You know the button to push if you need assistance. Sleep well, Miss Alice." The weight lifted from the bed, and Dr. Cullen silently walked out of the room, the only thing letting me know that he actually left being the soft click of the door as it closed behind him.

Slowly, I fell into a delirious sleep, visions and dreams mixing together in a sick and twisted reality.

_I was running down the hall, but from what I couldn't say. Something was perusing me, and it was gaining fast. I couldn't seem to get my legs to move fast enough to carry me any farther than where I was now. The logic part of my mind was telling me that this had to be a dream since in dreams you could never run fast enough, but then something happened that told me that even in real life I still wouldn't have run fast enough._

_"Did you think you could escape?" It was a monster from legends; blood red eyes leered down at me, the chalky pale contrasting with the black hair that fell down around his face. Even with a snarl rippling in his throat, he was still devastatingly beautiful, even though I knew he was going to kill me. _

_"I… what do you want with me?" I half yelled at him, confused and disoriented. I kept seeing visions, the lack of control sending me to my knees. I could never control my gift, not really. Despite the desperation I felt at needing to know what was going to happen, I couldn't control it. _

"_I won't let you escape." The monster was amused, a black laugh echoing around the room, making me gasp in anger and indignation. Did he really think I would just let him kill me?_

_"You won't win." I told him, squaring off for the battle for my life. The beast laughed again, his voice calm and calculative. He was all about control; every step was planned before he took it, despite the wild attitude he sported. _

_"Get away from her." The calm, almost friendly voice shook me to the core, I and blindly looked the other way as Dr. Neal Brandon stepped out of the shadows, his haggard appearance making me more terrified than the vampire a mere three feet away from me._

I shot up from my bed so fast the room spun around me. The white walls were bathed in moonlight, and in a disoriented manner I turned to look out of the window, my breathing haggard. I could barely see the room I was actually in, my mind still locked in the one I had just visited. The moon hung in the sky like a fat pearl, soaking the light from the stars around it, easily outshining them, a symbol if I had even really seen one. I didn't feel surprised that the sky was clear for once; Dr. Cullen had said that it would be sunny for a few days, but it was pretty enough to make me dumbly stare at it for a few seconds as I tried to gain my real surroundings back fully.

Shaking my head, I tried to look into my future to see how long the sun would last for me, but it was actually no surprise that I couldn't see it anymore. I was beginning to get used to it though; it was happening enough.

Jacob had to be around, in that case.

Stumbling out of my bed, I padded awkwardly over to the window sill, relishing in the cool feel of the tiles and the lightly frosted window pane. I felt like I was burning up a little, and the sensation of the cool glass was simply amazing. Glancing down, I stared at the front part of the hospital, slowly calming down from my nightmare.

It was then that I saw something was on the lawn. Looking down at it with a strange feeling in my stomach, I gasped loudly when I realized what it was. It was too big to be just any dog; for a second I thought it was a bear. The massive shoulders… the skinnier waist, like it was hungry… it was surreal, it couldn't be… it was-

"Yes, that would be a wolf." Dr. Cullen's voice shocked me; since when had he shown up? Jumping, I looked up at him with wide eyes, envious that he could look so put together at three in the morning. What was up with him? And he had come up behind me without a sound. This whole thing was surreal. Was I still dreaming? Dr. Cullen's hand touched my shoulder in an effort to help me calm down, and the chilled skin made me shudder. No, I wasn't dreaming.

"What's a wolf doing here?" I hadn't noticed the fear in the back of my throat, but now I did. It was a slightly suffocating feeling, like there was something lodged back there, but I merely coughed quietly to make it go away. If he noticed, he said nothing, and for that I was grateful.

"He comes here sometimes." Dr. Cullen smiled wistfully at the wolf, as if he was amused but saddened by that fact. I noticed the way he politely dodged my outright question, but I felt too tired to protest. Forks had more secrets than I had originally thought, and it wasn't my business, despite my reckless side demanding to know.

"Is he like a protector?" I asked, noticing that the massive beast had picked itself up. It trotted to the other side of the front lawn; its pace was surprisingly fast and looked fluid enough to be mythical. Something that big and dangerous couldn't move so beautifully. I looked back over to Dr. Cullen in time to see him look at me with surprise on his face. What had I said? Dr. Cullen glanced back at the wolf, debating his answer.

"I… like to think so. Sometimes though, I think it's to make a point." His face cleared of shock, and now it took on a bemused expression. I noticed how his lips were pursed, like he didn't agree what the point would be, but he made no movement to stop the animal. There was respect in his eyes, and an understanding that made me want to respect him a little more than I did.

"What would his point be?" I asked, feeling like I wasn't finding anything out. The wolf turned around and walked back across the lawn, the strange coloration of the dog rugged, but pretty, almost like a rusty russet color, bronzish, but pretty all the same. Despite his terrifying appearance, the wolf seemed like a protector.

"I'm not exactly sure… but it's a point, all the same." Dr. Cullen smiled and turned away from the window, leaning against the sill of it to stare at me. My skin prickled at his scrutiny, and I felt awkwardly out of place next to him.

"So he's not dangerous?" I asked, looking back at the wolf with wide eyes. Dr. Cullen laughed under his breath, patting my back soothingly as if he had just heard a stupid joke that had been said more than once.

"Oh, he's dangerous. But there are worse things, I think." He ruffled my hair consolingly, pushing himself from the sill to leave, his steps silent as he walked away. "Get some sleep please, Alice. You're leaving later today, and you'll need your strength. I looked back at him, watching as he looked down at Marie fondly before he gave me a wistful smile, trying to convey a message, and sadly, I tried to figure it out. There was no surprise that I had no idea what he meant to say.

"Yeah… right." I shuffled my feet awkwardly, looking back at the bed apprehensively. I didn't want to relive the nightmare; once was enough.

"You're a good girl, Alice, and there's nothing to be afraid of. Just try to sleep?" Dr. Cullen gave a toothy grin, actually seeming slightly amused before he put his hands in his pockets and walked out of the room. I looked back down at the massive beast, surprised to see him right underneath my window, as if he knew someone was talking about him. I sighed, feeling chilled at the thought, but as I began to walk away, the wolf turned up and stared at me, dark eyes stopping me in my tracks.

He seemed too intelligent to be just a simple animal. His eyes held too many secrets, and even from my distance I could see a warning there, something that held me rooted to my spot. Still, I felt eerily calm, a feeling of protection standing there as he stared, like I knew everything was going to be alright with him around.

The wolf's mouth dropped open, tongue lolling out almost like a slobbery smile before he shook his coat of russet fur, trotting off to keep protecting whatever it was he thought needed it. _  
_

* * *

"We should hang out sometime." Marie looked up at me, her leg propped up with help from the wheel chair she was currently situated in. Thankfully, I didn't have to use a wheel chair, and I only had a stupid, awkward brace to lug about. Though it would be hard to draw with my usual out of control passion in my classes, I'm sure I could manage. At least I wouldn't be gaining overly buff, man arms from having to wheel my weigh around. Smiling down at her, surprised I could actually do that to someone of her height versus mine, I stuck my good hand out, shaking hers firmly. She was a good friend, and I was happy to say that my stay in the hospital had given me an ally.

"I would love to." I agreed, glancing back to where my mother listened intently to Dr. Cullen's instructions for the medicine. My father, being at work, had sent her in the Porsche with the intent of tempting me. He knew that besides the Spyder, the Porsche was my favorite. Who couldn't love the car with enough horse power to run down a brick wall if unleashed properly?

"When would you be free?" She asked, smiling as her father set his hand on her shoulder. Though Mr. Swan was gruff and often quiet when he had visited, it was hard not to notice a love so strong it made me queasy. I don't think I've ever witnessed a father's devotion to his daughter like that. It was touching, but I could only handle it in doses. No need to start comparing their nice, quiet life to my… decidedly less quiet one. Shrugging, I quickly looked ahead to see when I would be free. Instead of seeing my future, it was like trying to remember something. The images were distorted, fuzzy, and like trying to get good reception in the middle of a snow storm. Turning my head, I smiled warmly as Jacob walked in, unable to be annoyed despite myself. The kid had an uncanny ability of disrupting my gift when I really needed it.

"I should be free almost any weekend after this one… and probably the next. My father is going to ground me." If anyone noticed my blunder, they didn't say anything. How did I know my father was going to ground me? I remembered it from seeing it when he had visited. Did they know that? No. I looked down at Marie to see her face thoughtful; she wasn't even paying attention to the look of love radiating off of Jacob's face.

"Why would he ground you?" Marie asked with a slight frown on her face that closely resembled pity. I shrugged, giving a slight, "oomph," as Jacob gave me a lung crushing hug.

"I'm glad you got better, kid." He grumbled in my ear, squeezing for good measure. Surprised at his gesture, I hugged him with my good arm, trying not to protest as I couldn't breathe. Heat like the blue flame of a fire scorched my skin when he touched me, and I internally tried to calculate his temperature. The kid had to be burning up! I was at a slightly unnatural 96 degrees, but this kid seemed like he was running in the hundreds category! What was with the people here in Forks? My thoughts were interrupted when I realized I couldn't breathe, and with a wheezing noise, I whacked him on the head with my brace.

"Because-" I gasped in relief as he dropped me gently onto the floor, apparently not noticing the way I had lugged my dead arm at him. If he did, he said nothing, only continued smiling. The stitching along my chest burned, but I repressed the urge to wince. The stitches that ran down from my collar bone to two inches above the naval hadn't really bothered me, but Jacob's overly friendly, painful hug made them itch a little in a tingling, funny way. I refused to draw attention to it though; I didn't want to have to take medicine just to pass out from it. Frowning jokingly at the Indian beaming down at me, I watched skeptically as Jacob turned back to Marie, giving her a more careful hug, conscious of her leg. "I wrecked the car. That would usually get me grounded for a month, but maybe it won't come to that." I smiled at the look of pure attraction radiating from Jacob, and the denial in Marie's eyes. They'd go good together, if she'd ever let him. Feeling like I was intruding on his private moment of concern and worry, I gave Marie wistful grin and a hug, letting them have their peace.

"Get better soon." Mr. Swan squeezed my shoulder as well, giving me a small smile before grabbing the handles to the wheelchair and wheeling Marie out of the room. She smiled, giving me a nice feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had made a friend. The word seemed to sound funny to me, and it was a shock to the system to realize that I actually had made a _friend_. Not someone like Mike Newton… not someone like Jasper. Someone who seemed like they cared for _me._ I smiled again, despite myself.

"Hey… remember what I told you?" Jacob jumped from foot to foot, slightly antsy to catch up to Marie. I looked up at his sincere black eyes, the worry and warning fighting in his gaze. I looked down at my feet, feeling slightly pressured into doing what he wanted. What was wrong with the Cullens that made me need to stay away from them? I mean, sure, they weren't your average Dick and Jane family, but what was really wrong with them?

"Why should I stay away from them?" I asked, planting my good hand on my hip. Raising an eyebrow, I waited for him to get the words out, his forehead mashed together as he tried to find the words. From his experience with me, Jacob found that I would be unreasonably stubborn unless I had a good reason. Hence his attempts at finding a good reason besides his personal dislike.

"I really can't say. But, it's really for your own good." I couldn't help the indignation I felt at his words, but before I could retort, I felt Dr. Cullen's cold hand settle on my shoulder disrupting my chain of thought. If Jacob's temperature was in the hundreds, then Carlisle's had to be in the negatives, for sure. I was used to it though, and instead of jumping, I relaxed a little.

"Are you ready to go, Alice?" Dr. Cullen's gold eyes flashed up to meet Jacob's black ones, and there was a tense silence between them before Jacob turned around and left, trying to catch up to Marie. Feeling grateful for the interruption for some reason, I gave him a small smile before nodding. The past few days I've known Dr. Cullen, I've slowly begun to trust him. He really was different from the other doctors, and though it felt weird to think the words, I knew he would help me if I ever needed it. He was just like that; I was beginning to find out.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen." I stuck my hand out towards his, knowing he'd know the importance of that action. There was an awkward moment as Dr. Cullen studied my face, his gaze probing, and deep. I know what he was looking for, and I held my breath, waiting. I wasn't disappointed. Sure enough, his eyebrows rose slightly before a gracious smile broke over his face.

"It was really no problem, Alice. I hope to see you again, but not being wheeled in on a gurney." His cold hand met mine, and I felt like maybe I had made more than one friend. My mother laughed shrilly at his words, breaking the slight moment I felt with him. She does that, a lot, I was noticing. Turning back to her, I frowned a little, but managed not to say anything, knowing it wouldn't help. What was the point of beating a dead donkey, trying to make it run faster? Tossing Dr. Cullen one last glance, I gave another smile, slightly addicted now that I knew people I could actually grin around.

It was nice to think I actually had friends.

* * *

The weekend passed quickly. My mother had picked up my school work, so Saturday and Sunday were spent trying to catch up on my classes, the monotony of the situation slightly amusing if it wasn't happening to me. My father had indeed grounded me for a week, saying I needed a lesson in responsibility, but I wasn't bothered. It wasn't like I had a huge social life, and the one I had managed to make was a bit of a drag. Marie was busy with her job, and wouldn't be free for another two weeks, and I hadn't heard from the over bearing but good intentioned Jacob. Sure, I could call Dr. Cullen a friend, but he wasn't someone I would take to the mall. Come to think of it, I don't think I would take Jacob to the mall either, and Marie seemed too laid back and bookish to like the mall. Either way, I would be at the mall….by myself.

I did get a call from Dr. Cullen though on Sunday. It was nice to hear from him, and his news brightened my outlook considerably. The guilt that had been gnawing at me lessened a little, and I was almost (almost, mind you) excited to go back to school.

"I'm just calling to remind you that your stitches are due to be removed in about two weeks." His voice was muffled, but still perfect sounding. What did that family do to sound so amazing? I was past the whole, the Cullen family is perfect thing, but once in awhile, it was bothersome that there was a family moving around like runaway models.

"Wouldn't a nurse call for that?" I asked curiously, perching on the kitchen island, grabbing a red delicious apple to munch on. There was a soft, breezy chuckle on the phone, and as the maid (a nice but stern Hispanic woman named Marisol) my mother had hired walked past, she stopped to look around for the source of the noise. I bit back a grin.

"Naturally, yes, a nurse would, but I also have more news for you, Miss Alice." There was a strange tone in Dr. Cullen's voice like he was containing something either really, really good, or terrible. I leaned in despite myself, frustrated that I couldn't look ahead to see what he said. All I knew was that I would be very, very excited. "My son, Jasper, has woken from his coma, and his wounds are almost healed." I gasped, the phone falling from my hands to clatter to the marble floors of the kitchen, shock rocking me to the core. I hardly registered the apple falling from my other hand, the dull thud as it hit the floor too muted to grab my attention. Jasper, the kid I nearly killed, was awake?! I didn't commit man slaughter… he was ok…

"Miss Alice?" The muffled voice from below alerted me that I had dropped the phone, and I quickly jumped down to rectify the situation.

"He's going to be ok?" I asked stupidly, hating how weak my voice sounded. I felt something tiny growing in my stomach, and I was shocked to realize that it was butterflies. I was nervous about that? Why did I feel like a little child asking a grown man a question? Sure, Dr. Cullen was around his thirties, but did I wasn't a child. So what was going on?

"Yes," Dr. Cullen chuckled, "He's going to be just fine." I laughed with him, feeling a large weight lift off of my shoulders at the thought that he was going to be ok. No one died, I had made friends, and Jasper would be ok. Reaching down with newfound exuberance, I dusted off my apple and bit into it, a large smile stealing over my face. I felt like I could take on an entire league of Forks High School students and be perfect.

"Can I see him?" I felt the words rush out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I mentally chastised myself for saying them the moment I realized it. Yes, I'm sure the guy I nearly killed wanted to see me.

"That probably wouldn't be best… he'll be to school before this week is over, but anything before that would probably be too early for people." His voice sounded funny, like he was worried, but too professional to say anything, and I pounced on the idea. What if Jasper wasn't actually healing? What if Dr. Cullen was just saying that so I wouldn't' worry? The possibilities were astounding. Maybe… just maybe he was suffering worse than was let on. My heart ached at the thought, and I was confused. Why would I care like that? There's general worry for a person, and then the feeling like I had just been kicked.

"I mean, is he really ok? What's left for him to heal?" I asked, setting the apple down on the counter and walking away, spinning on the clean hardwood floors with my socks. It was awfully fun to do, and I spun again, waiting for the answer.

"His leg will have to be in a brace for awhile, I'm afraid, but other than the stitching, he's ok." Ok, that had to be off. The kid was in a coma, and now all he had was a brace? Plus, Dr. Cullen seemed too amused by that fact, like there was a private joke I was missing.

"How serious were his injuries before that made him go into a coma?" I asked skeptically, stepping up the stairs and dodging past Lina, the maid's daughter who helped clean. I smiled at her and nodded, keeping my rapid pace up the stairs to my room.

"Alice… some things you just can't explain. He went in on the brink of destruction… and now he's going to be ok." His choice of words confused me slightly, and I plopped onto my bed, thinking. Why did he say destruction and not death? Why did he say ok instead of healed, or well, or even dandy? It was like he was choosing those words on purpose, like if he said death… it wouldn't fit. But wouldn't it? I frowned, staring up at the starry ceiling his wife had made, skeptical of the phone call.

"So like a miracle." I said bluntly, feeling slightly annoyed. There was an amused chuckle.

"Yes, Alice, like a miracle." After a reminder to take my medicine, Dr. Cullen let me go, the dial tone buzzing erratically in my ear, the sick buzzing making me feel like I had just been tricked, and I didn't know why.

Downstairs, Marisol demanded in a loud voice why someone didn't finish their apple.

* * *

The next day, I got to drive the Porsche to school, the bright yellow color blending in with the sun in the sky. I know, sunny in Forks? But it was there, the baby blue backdrop making me feel oddly optimistic with the school day. Though my brace made driving awkward, I wouldn't be deterred from turning some cheesy pop on to make sure I would be in the right mood to deal with the children I would be encountering.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. After the whole episode the last Friday I had been at school, my return would be unpleasant and unwelcoming. Maybe it would be dulled down with my gruesome appearance from the wreckage? Passing Chief Swan's house, I waved at him as he walked to his car, the worried look on his face apparent even from my standpoint.

That made the two of us.

Pulling into the school parking lot, I tried to ignore the stares my car was getting; once they saw who it was, they would be staring for a whole new reason. A lot of people were milling about the courtyard, taking advantage of the sun to tan their otherwise porcelain colored skin. Looking down at mine, I had to agree. I really needed the sun. Stepping out, I ignored the pointed looks and grabbed my bag, swinging it onto my shoulder and stepping around an old, rusted ford tempo.

The whispers came immediately after.

"Maybe she tried to commit suicide."

"I don't think-"

"That weird Hale kid is still in the-"

"She almost killed-"

"I can't believe-"

"Are you ok?" The voice shocked me; it was the only one actually directed at me. Looking to the side, I saw Angela, the nice girl from the lunch fiasco. Her glasses magnified worried green eyes, brows scrunched in nervous awkwardness. I saw her later telling people the truth of what really happened, not as gossip, but to set them straight so they wouldn't be so rude. She was a really good person.

"That's the first person to ask me that." I noted, walking towards the blocky buildings for first period. Angela followed shyly behind, her face torn between confusion and worry. Right… I hadn't answered her.

"I'm fine though, thanks." I tacked on lamely, smiling at her with what I hoped was a warm reaction. The crowd parted easily, their covert stares making up for their space considerably. If they wanted to treat me like a pariah, they were doing a good job at it. At least now they had a reason. I was the insane child from the Mississippi Psycho Ward who crashed into one of their own home town chicks; why wouldn't they treat me as such?

"It's no problem, you were gone an entire week." Angela said softly, green eyes flashing in concern. She was going to feed a stray cat later today, too nice to turn it away.

"Yeah… I was, wasn't I? What did I miss?" I asked, feeling like I really needed to be nice to this girl. She was wasting the time ruining her reputation to be kind, the least I could do was be welcoming.

"Well… we've gotten another new student; her name's Cynthia, and she's really nice." Angela offered, glancing down at her watch. Looking panicked, she looked up at me sadly.. "I've got to get to class though; we'll talk later?" She smiled and turned to walk away from me, the nicest person in Forks.

"Hey, Angela," I called, feeling foolish. She stopped to look at me quietly, assessing my stance and hope filled voice. "Will you sit with me at lunch?" I asked, daring to hope for a friend in this school. Angela turned red slightly, reminding me of Marie before she nodded, a smile taking over her face. Feeling triumphant, I walked into class like I had won a million dollars. Even when I saw someone sitting in my chair, I didn't mind. I don't think anything could really ruin my day now.

Walking up slowly, I leaned down and tapped her shoulder, getting the straight haired girl's attention. She turned, her red hair almost hitting me in the face it was so long. Her wide green eyes assessed me knowingly, a small smile taking over her being. I saw her saying something so wrong, I reflexively stumbled away under her stare, my eyes wide and my face stretched into a grimace. My mind was whirling with the possibilities; it couldn't be her! But it looked close; the curious edge, the facial features merely aged, not different.

"Well hello Alice!" Cynthia Brandon's face became even more excited the more mine turned to horror. "How've you been since the asylum? I've missed you! My dad sends his condolences!" She chirped, standing up to hug me. Her embrace was crushing my stitches, making me gasp.

"Your dad?" I wheezed incredulously, pushing her away. She nodded brightly.

"Yeah, you remember him, right? Dr. Neal Brandon?"

* * *

_So... there's a twist, yeah? The only way to get the full explanation would be to read the next chapter, and the only way to do that would be to... why yes, REVIEW!! :)_


	13. No Podemos Ser Amigos

_Wow... you guys are AMAZING!! The first technical day and I got over twenty reviews!! Thank you guys soooooo much!!! A lot of them motivated me, and I stayed up until around 3 writing this entire chapter for you guys! Still no Beta, but I did go back and check a few things! If there are any mistakes, I'm sorry, but you know how it is! Let's try for **Twenty Five** reviews for this chapter, and I'll update! I'm in the middle of chapter 14 right now, and right when I get at least that many, I'll update it for you! Your guy's support is awesome!!!_

_So, let's get the show on the road, yeah? Guess what... Jasper's in this chapter!! :) For all you readers that wanted him... here you go! :) He's my favorite Cullen! _

_Anywho, thanks again, and remember, Review!!_

_

* * *

  
_

_"Alice… I'd like you to meet my daughter, Cynthia." Dr. Brandon guided a little girl over to me, her wide smile hurting my eyes. She looked around my age (10, to be exact) and bubbling with excitement that made me nervous to return the gesture she made. I looked up at Dr. Brandon curiously, wondering what his plan was. His blue eyes gleamed with excitement, and when I saw what he wanted, I shook my head no. _

_"I don't want to." I said in defiance, folding my thin arms and setting back down in the chair I had been occupying. The little girl's bright smile didn't diminish at my refusal, if anything it grew a little wider. I later saw her playing with Barbies when she got home, and I grimaced. She seemed so happy with her Barbies, and despite myself I felt a twinge of envy that she had a home to go to later after she finished talking to the crazy girl her age. _

_"Alice, you don't know what I'm going to do." Dr. Brandon's face turned slightly red at his statement, and I watched in annoyance as the activity changed. _

_"I'm not going to do that either." I said with a child like disapproval. I tucked my knees under my chin, hating the way the simple sweat pants itched against my skin, turning it red at the slightest abrasion. I kept my gaze locked with Dr. Brandon's pleading stare however, not wanting to back down. Though I didn't know his initial intent with what he wanted, there was no way I was subjecting myself to sharing time with his daughter, Cynthia. _

_"Alice, it will help with your healing process and you know it." Dr. Brandon smiled down at me welcomingly, his smile reassuring despite the weariness in his eyes. Dr. Brandon always looked tired when he stared at me, like I was personally responsible for his fatigue. _

_"What healing process?" I demanded, standing up suddenly, making Cynthia back away with the smile still plastered on her face. Her pretty red hair was down to her waist, pulled back with a ribbon like a headband, the strands free from tangles. It was silky smooth and straight, her eyes contrasting with the vivid color nicely. She would be really pretty when she hit teenager years. She reminded me of Sandy, the girl down the hall, that would always smile prettily at people before she attacked, trying to scratch and bite even though her nails had been filed down to prevent injury. Looking at this Cynthia girl, I felt like she was about to attack. _

_"Alice, you know you have a problem." Dr. Brandon got on one knee, looking me in the eyes like he thought he should. "We've talked about it, haven't we? You don't see the future." I jutted my chin out, glaring at him. Why did he always think I believed him? Why did I want to believe that I could be fixed? _

_"Dr. Brandon, I can't be fixed." I stated angrily, standing up and pushing my hair out of my face. It was long and thick, curling down to my waist which technically wasn't a lot because I was so short. To me then though, it was too long, and I wanted it gone. _

_"Why can't you be fixed?" He asked kindly, tucking a stray strand from my face. I pushed his hand away and looked over at his giggling daughter, glaring at her._

_"You can't fix what's not broken." I stated matter-of-factly, stepping around him to leave the room. There was a small corral of people waiting to escort angry patients back to their rooms if things got out of hand, and I wanted to leave… fast. I pushed Cynthia out of the way, wanting to get away from her too big smile and fake dolly eyes, but she surprised me. Instead of just falling away, she grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, hugging me tightly around the neck. _

_"You're not broken, silly." Cynthia said in a bright, giggly voice. "You can see the future, can't you?" She pulled away, not noticing how uncomfortable I was with her hug. I stared at her, taking in the eager face and the way she bit her lip. I looked back and Dr. Brandon to see him frowning slightly, struck dumb by the way his daughter had taken control of things. _

_"Yes, yes I can." I admitted, looking down at my plain white slippers we wore instead of shoes. You could get hurt wearing normal shoes, they said. _

_"I believe you!" Cynthia squealed, hugging me again. Her dad gave a stern clearing of the throat, his face somber. _

_"Cynthia, you don't-" _

_"Daddy, I understand perfectly. We're going to be the best of friends, aren't we Alice?"_

* * *

"Dr. Brandon… is here?" I asked incredulously as she guided me to my seat, sitting down on my other side and hugging me again. I pulled away from her hug, my thoughts muddled with confusion. Why hadn't I seen them coming? Was it because I had been with Jacob, and I had gotten so used to not seeing things that I didn't think about it? I glanced over at her long red hair, the doll-like eyes that always made me feel like I was being mocked, the grin dominating her face. How could I miss that?

"You didn't know?" She giggled against her hand, leaning into me and smiling conspiratorially. I leaned away from reflex, hating the way she acted like we were close. I shook my head, turning to grab my books and set them on the desk for class, my sketching paper strewn throughout my bag hazardously; I would need to clean that soon. Looking back at Cynthia, I wasn't surprised to see her practically bouncing out of her chair with excitement, the way she always would.

"When he heard about, well, your little attempt on the road… he decided we should move here so he could check up on you!" I tensed at her words, turning to assess whether she was lying or not; she wasn't. What did she mean little attempt? Did she think I tried to commit suicide? How would they know anyway? They lived all the way in Biloxi, their world different from mine now. I saw her later telling someone the news of seeing me, but I couldn't see who. Maybe her mother? I didn't know them; it was like she was talking to nothing but air. Knowing Cynthia, I wouldn't be surprised.

"What do you mean, 'little attempt'?" I asked suspiciously, flinching when the bell rang and their other students quieted down for the lesson. Pulling out a piece of paper, I pushed it to her to show that she should write down her answer. I just hoped I could write with my blocky arm brace in the way. (A/N- Alice in Italics, Cynthia in bold)

**Your dad called and said it was an attempted suicide attempt.** My blood boiled at the words written in bubbly letters. My father called him?! What was with that man? Did he honestly think that I would be better off with Dr. Brandon traipsing into my life again? I would definitely confront him about it, and it would be ugly. I could see the blow up happening around dinner time, and I would end up grounded for another week. I sunk lower in my chair and wrote back.

_I didn't try to kill myself, Cynthia_. My writing was more childlike and precise, each letter distinct from the rest like it had its own personality. Pushing it back almost violently, I waited for her response, not having to look to see she was bouncing in her chair in impatience to get her words out.

**I know you didn't, silly. But daddy says we can't take precautions with you.** I glared at the words, hating the way it made me seem like I was unstable. I wasn't unstable, it really was an accident! Looking up at the other students, I watched the future miserably, seeing a lot of the rumors buzzing along the words of an attempted suicide. They probably got that because I was in an insane asylum. Really, I know more people out of the psyche ward that need killed than the ones inside do.

_I don't want you to take precautions with me._ I wrote the words back harshly, hoping she got I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't like how she made me feel more like a freak than I already did; she was too content in bringing me down without trying.

**Too late. Why are you sitting in the back by yourself? Shouldn't you try to make friends?** I glowered at the paper, willing it to combust. No such luck.

_I have tried. Almost every time it has backfired though. And other people sit back here too, they're just no-_ I paused from my writing and looked to my left, surprised by my revelation. It was true; Jasper and Edward weren't there. I wasn't entirely shocked to see Jasper absent; after all he had just been in an accident and Dr. Cullen said it would be a few days until he came. But why would Edward be missing? Was he too worried about his brother to come to school? It was a perfect day really; the sun was out and it seemed like it would be a good day.

**You didn't scare them away, did you?** I turned and looked at her sharply, hating her too big smile and innocent expression.

_No, one of them is in the hospital._ I turned a few pages in my book, realizing that the entire class was busy with some activity or another, and I struggled to start it. Gerund phrases, really? I sighed softly; literature was so easy.

**The one from the wreck.** It wasn't a question, and I merely nodded in response. I didn't want to talk to Cynthia right now, not when I was torn in the past, present, and future. I couldn't stop thinking of memories, I had to pay attention to what I was doing now, and my out of control mind kept showing me the future. Cynthia seemed to notice my glazed over look, and she started her work too, writing in a bright pink color that hurt to stare at too long.

When the bell rang, I was ready to bolt. I shoved my stuff in my bag, standing up and taking purposeful steps towards the door with the intent of escape. Instead, Cynthia looped arms with me and began chattering about how life has been for her in the few months we'd not had contact. I really wish the time space had been shorter, just so she wouldn't have so much to talk about.

"I mean, I missed you so much! It's been what, five months since I've seen you? When did you check out of the asylum?" She chirped inquisitively, not bothering to look when a couple of kids guffawed at the word, 'asylum'. I glared at her, not wanting to answer, and not wanting to be near her.

"June." I grumbled, detangling my arm from hers to walk towards my Calculus class. Thankfully, Cynthia seemed to get the tip, and she went her separate way with a wave and a giggle. At least I would have Calculus by myself. I don't know what I would do with a double whammy with that girl.

But Calculus turned out to be a drag too. Bella Cullen wasn't in class that day, either. I stared at her empty seat for awhile, half listening to what Mr. Varner said in his boring voice, my gift keeping tabs on any event that would happen that was centered around me, my actual conscious trying to figure out why three of the five would be gone. What if they were actually that torn up about their brother? Did I really drive them away from school because of the wreck? Turning away, I glanced out of the window, wishing there was a class outside so I could feel the heat of the sun. It was relaxing to say the least.

At lunch, Cynthia sat with me.

"You didn't think you'd get away from me so easily, did you?" She asked me brightly, sitting down next to me in the seat Jasper had sat in last time. Angela shyly walked over, giving a polite smile to Cynthia before sitting down on my other side. Right behind her was a tall, gangly boy who I remembered as Ben. They had a date later tonight, and he would ask permission before he kissed her. I smiled at the happy ending for her; Angela deserved it.

"Oh, I'm Cynthia!" Cynthia leaned over the table to shake hands with Angela and Ben whose faces mirrored each others in shock and shyness. I felt my head drop into my hands at the strange and unwelcome situation that was thrown upon me, wishing I would wake up and have an actual life instead of this surreal one.

"I'm Angela, and this is Ben, my boyfriend." Angela turned red at this, looking at him from under her lashes, making me smile when he stared back, mesmerized. Couples always made me happy; it was nice to know someone was together.

"You just moved to Forks too?" Angela asked with a soft voice, eating slowly and calmly, keeping eye contact with the place right in front of Cynthia's plate of food. I traced my sketch pad's outline with my pinky. I could see their entire conversation so far, and it was a normal one, thankfully. At least Cynthia wouldn't- wait, no…

"Yeah, I used to live near Alice in Biloxi though! That's how we know each other!" Cynthia gushed, smiling over at me like we shared a secret. I smiled weakly back, already knowing the slips she would make, ruining the possible friendship I would have with Angela.

"Oh, you knew her before you moved here?" Angela glanced at me and smiled softly as if to let me know she wasn't ignoring me. I nodded slowly, feeling embarrassment flood me as the words would come in three… two… one…

"Yeah, my dad was her doctor in the insane asylum!" Cynthia said brightly, making Angela blush, Ben looked down at his food interestedly, and me glower at Cynthia like she was the devil incarnate. To me, she was.

"Can we not talk about that?" I hissed under my breath to her, leaning forward to flick her wrist in annoyance. Cynthia looked at me questioningly, but I guess the look in my eyes stopped her from questioning me. She would sooner or later, and it would be something like this:

_"I don't see what the big deal is!" She threw something on the ground; it was a charm bracelet she always wore. _

_"Cynthia, you grew up around psychos, they don't bother you! To the real world, talking about them like its nothing is weird, and I've got enough on my plate without you coming in and ruining it!" My hands flew up to tug at my hair, the short spikes a slight comfort to me, the only one I had really. _

_"Oh, I'm the weird one? What am I going to say next, hmm?" She placed her hands on her hips, glaring condescendingly. "You need to accept your heritage and be a little proud of your gift Alice, not everyone gets the things they want." She laughed bitterly. _

_"You think I want this?" I half yelled half whispered, feeling part of me ripping apart. I couldn't deal with this. "You think I want this curse?! You can have it Cynthia, it's all yours!" I turned away, walking away for what I hoped was for good. _

_"He loves you more than me." Her words froze me in my tracks, my blood boiling in anger. _

I looked up from my sketch pad, glancing from Angela to Cynthia, her face knowing and amused. She probably guessed from my vague, out there look that I had just seen a vision, and I didn't like it.

"She grew up with me, kind of." I explained to Angela, turning my body pointedly away from Cynthia to face the blushing girl head on. She looked up at me, smiling now that I didn't seem so embarrassed by Cynthia's outburst, and I felt a shred of hope.

"How long have you two known each other?" Ben asked politely, taking a bite out of his burger with slight gusto only a guy could have.

"About seven years." I looked down at the sketch pad, suddenly wishing I was alone again. Now that there were people here, I had to be careful with my visions; I might zone out at the wrong time, or have Cynthia say the wrong thing. Glancing back to the red head, I was surprised at the expression on her face. It seemed torn, like she couldn't decide something or not. Indecision was marred with confusion, but after a moment, it cleared and she stood up.

"I have to go." She announced brightly to us, giving me a tight hug around the neck. "I'll talk to you later, ok?" She giggled brightly, waving at Ben and Angela before leaving in a cloud of perfume.

"She's nice." Angela commented politely, giving an awkward laugh as my head hit the sketch pad in annoyance.

* * *

As I drove home, I kept replaying the scene between us over and over again, wishing that if I could be cursed, it would be with a time warp machine that let me travel back in time so I could say what I wanted to say. I wanted to tell her to get away, never come back, and take her damned father with her, too. I couldn't stand the thought of having to see her again, remembering all of those times together…

I closed my eyes as I parked in the three car garage, setting my head on the steering wheel, not noticing that there were two other cars in the garage, meaning we had company that parked in the driveway. I and my observancy skills didn't notice that there was someone else's car in the driveway.

Stepping out of the Porsche, I walked glumly into the house, dropping my bag at the door, knowing I would come back for it later. I had turned in all of my late work to each class, the awkward shock and whispers of my speedy recovery making me like my teachers a little more than I did at first. They all asked about how I was healing, not what caused my wreck, which was something I liked. At least they weren't overly nosy.

I was about to walk into the front room when I heard the exchange of two very familiar voices, and only one of them I was ok hearing. I slipped to the side to listen in, hoping they didn't hear my entrance.

"What medication do you have her on?"

"Hydrocodone and acetaminophen is what we changed it to. At first, we had her on-"

"I'm hoping you didn't use propoxyphene? That caused a lot of side effects we didn't need her to suffer with."

"It wasn't in her file not to, so the first dose was of propoxyphene. When it was alerted that she was suffering vivid nightmares, almost like-"

"Neuro- psychiatric antimalarials? Yes, that's exactly what happens. It distorts reality like the antimilarial drugs do for a regular patient and twists the imagination. It kills brain cells, doesn't it?"

"Some times, yes. It's been known to."

"And you put her on those? Forgive me, but that seems a little cruel."

"If we were aware that that's what her reaction would be, no one would have brought the medicine near her." I frowned at their talk; why was one so concerned with what medicine I was on? Turning the corner, I leaned against the entryway, unsurprised to see Dr. Cullen and Dr. Brandon sitting on the couch, very much at odds with one another.

Dr. Cullen looked pretty much the same; nice clothes, nice hair, polite smile, easy disposition. Dr. Brandon on the other hand was so different it was astounding. He was pale, for one. A chalky pale like he hadn't been in the sun for years, and he looked more tired than ever with purplish coloration under his eyes. His eyes weren't blue anymore; they had changed to a strange indigo color that was startling and unnerving to see. His skin seemed devoid of wrinkles, and his hair was a richer brown, still combed to the side, but the perfect sort of crinkle to it to make it seem professionally messy.

He looked like a Cullen.

"Alice, we didn't know you were back." Dr. Brandon smiled, standing up and walking over to me, his stride smooth and relaxed like he knew my house already. I took a step backwards, not liking him getting so close. Dr. Brandon stopped, his face perfectly confused as he looked down at me, his eyes hurt and questioning. I didn't look at his daunting eyes though; I looked past him and at Dr. Cullen who had always looked perfect and pristine. It wasn't as awkward to look at someone who had always been that way.

"Hey Dr. Cullen, what brings you here?" I asked, dodging around Dr. Brandon to step back into the living room. Dr. Cullen watched me with curious gold eyes before he stood up and shook my hand firmly, a kind smile gracing his features. I ignored the injured feelings I was getting from Dr. Brandon. Instead, I sat down near Dr. Cullen's old spot, looking at them pointedly.

"Well… since your father called me, I thought it would be best to move here to keep tabs on you." Dr. Brandon smiled at me, displaying perfect white teeth that made my jaw clench in annoyance.

"I simple call to me would have sufficed." I said coolly, leaning back into my couch, getting comfortable. Dr. Cullen sat down at the edge of his seat, probably feeling awkward listening to me.

"Yes, it might have. But you know that's not how I work." He smiled in a more tight lipped way, and I saw by the slight dent in his cheek as he smiled that he was mad. No one could make him more frustrated than I could, and I was proud of it. He deserved it.

"You should look into that." I turned to Dr. Cullen, eyebrows raised for an explanation.

"Alice, he called me to make sure you were properly healing, and getting the right medicine you needed to get better faster. We didn't want you taking something that would hinder you in one way but help in another." His tone was soft, a little more soothing to me than Dr. Brandon's was, but maybe I was bias? I looked back and Dr. Brandon to see him studying me strangely, like he didn't know what to say to make me stop being angry with him. Poor guy, didn't he know things don't work that way?

"Right, I gotcha. So, why at my house?" I leaned forward curiously, resting my head on my hands that were positioned on my knees.

"We needed to talk to you to see how the medicine was affecting you." Dr. Brandon chimed in before Dr. Cullen could get the words out. I saw the slight exasperation in Dr. Cullen's eyes as he watched Dr. Brandon with slight confusion.

"It's working fine, I can't feel a thing. If you'll excuse me though; I've got homework." I said faux brightly, standing up to walk out of the room. I passed Dr. Brandon's still standing form, not pausing to look at him or anything. I wasn't surprised when he followed me out of the room and into the kitchen where I grabbed an apple to munch on.

"Alice, is that the truth?" Dr. Brandon asked, leaning on the counter top, his rich, soothing voice surprising me. Had he always sounded so convincing? No, not really. I turned back and glared at him, rolling my eyes before taking a bit out of the apple before opening the fridge with the intent of a distraction.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" I asked under my breath, probably too low for him to hear.

"We want to help you." He said, perfect voce exasperated. I slammed the fridge, turning to level my stare with his. He returned it unblinkingly, breathing even and calm, not matching mine in the least. I felt my temper rising, everything rushing around me like a black tide. Did he really not understand? Was it really that long ago for him? I glowered, feeling angrier than I had ever felt in my entire life. I felt more anger for him than my own parents who had put me in the damned loony bin in the first place.

"Oh, you want to help, do you?" I hissed, setting the apple on the counter and jutting my chin out angrily. "Yeah, you're great at helping, doctor. You're the best one on the list, in fact." I laughed scornfully, watching as his face went from calm to in pain in a split second so fast I almost missed the transition. I felt my glare deepen as I stared, waiting for a response.

"I had my reasons, you know that." His voice was feeble, the mellow, quiet tones of a deep, resonating bell. I shook my head.

"If it's anything to do with the good of science, I want you to take those words and shove them up your-"

"Alice, is everything ok?" Dr. Cullen stepped into the kitchen, ocher eyes observing the mental battle going on between me and the other doctor. I looked into Dr. Brandon's future, trying to see where he was getting at, but I felt slightly disappointed that with his physical change, he had taken my ability to see his future. I inwardly laughed bitterly.

"Oh, it's peachy." I lied irritably, grabbing my apple again and looking back at Dr. Brandon. "The medicine isn't giving me any bad side effects, and my dreams are perfectly normal. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some homework to get to. My father is probably in his study if you need him." Giving Dr. Brandon one last glowering look, I turned my heel and then whipped around the corner, heading up the stairs so fast I even felt like I had set a record.

Stumbling into my room, I grabbed the door, closing it with my entire weight pushing against it, falling down to the ground with a soft thump when I did. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my legs, letting my head fall against my knees to block out the things I didn't want to think about. I felt like a weight was pressing against my shoulders, forcing me into submission, and I groaned under the effort. After a few moments of thankfully dead silence, I managed to pull myself up and I walked over to my bed, crawling under the covers and pulling the moon and stars comforter up to my chin, the material thick and heavy on me. Sighing in slight frustration and indignation, I rolled over and closed my eyes, my dream a mix of the past and a nightmare.

* * *

_"Cynthia is my little helper, Alice." Dr. Brandon went down on one knee, giving me a toothy grin. "Because of her, you're allowed to be in the recreational room." I looked around the rec room, watching drug induced patients shuffle from activity to activity, my hand clasped tightly in Cynthia's hand. I giggled as I watched Sandy the Smiler play Mario Kart at the TV, her smiles too large to be under the influence of drugs. _

_"Do you want to play?" Cynthia asked me, her face close to mine to hide her excitement. I laughed and nodded, dragging her over to the set of barbies that were laying on the small table for kids. Grabbing one, I showed it to her. _

_"This is Maggie." I said knowingly. "She gets played with by David all the time." I brushed through the poofy hair of the barbie, feeling happy I could hold one. "When he comes in later today, he's going to pop her head off because they don't want him to play with girl's toys." I looked up at Cynthia's excited eyes, her too big grin infectious. I giggled with her. _

_"Really?" She asked, awe struck. I nodded slowly, a secretive smile on my face._

* * *

I woke up with my stitches sore and pulling against my skin, and it took me a second to realize that I had forgotten to take my medicine, explaining the pain rippling along my torso. The sky had been overcast with another inky gray coloring, like the earth had sucked the colors from the sky and left mere shadows behind. As I tumbled through getting my morning rituals done, I made sure to take my Hydorco- whatever before leaving, my bag swinging on my back to prevent it from touching my stitches. My arm was throbbing in the brace, but as I drove to school the medicine kicked in and it was reduced to the familiar tingling.

It wasn't raining in Forks, but it threatened to let the torrents loose at the slightest inclination. As I stepped out of my Porsche and appreciatively touched the yellow exterior, I noticed that a lot of people were looking at me again. Instead of being annoyed, I felt able to shrug off their stares and begin walking towards the school to my first class.

"Hey, Conners!" It was strange to hear my last name, and when I registered it finally, I turned to see a slightly good looking kid come up to me, an easy grin on his face. I tensed, scrambling to see what he would say.

"Yes?" I asked politely, waiting for his catch. When I saw it in my mind, I was baffled slightly, and almost thought my mind had finally snapped. He couldn't, could he?

"Can I sign your brace?" Tyler asked in a nice voice, no hint of maliciousness in his tone. He really wanted to. Smiling, I gave him the proffered arm, watching as he scrawled an ugly signature on the canvas before smiling, winking, and walking away. Looking around the courtyard, I noticed that a lot of people were looking at me, but instead of being angry or amused with me, they seemed curious and open. I saw the natural mockery about my past from a lot of faces of course, but the nicer faces seemed to stand out more to me. It was refreshing, and I smiled despite myself.

Turning around, I ran headfirst into someone and landed on my butt.

"I'm so sorry! I exclaimed, scrambling to my feet and looking up at the poor person I had collided into. I hardly noticed the feeling like I had just ran into a wall when I stared into the gold eyes that I had seen in my dreams enough to know by heart. They seemed conflicting, deep, and haunting, but before I could delve further, he looked away, perfect lips pursed and tense.

"It's ok." He finally said, picking up my bag from the ground hesitantly to hand it to me. Grabbing it with my good hand, I smiled brightly, feeling a little happier with him around. Why? I have no idea.

"So, how have you been?" I asked curiously, hitching my bag on my shoulder. Over his shoulder I could see the rest of the Cullens walking by, their eyes on me and Jasper with mixed emotions. Emmett looked like he was about to start laughing about something, Rosalie looked beyond angry, Edward seemed worried, and Bella seemed… sad? That was the right word.

"I've been fine." Jasper then leaned down and gracefully scooped up my books, probably realizing I was too lost to notice that I still needed those for class. Leaning forward to claim them back, I was surprised when he leaned away, an eyebrow risen in either amusement or question to my sanity. I couldn't tell.

"You have an injury; I'll carry these for you." His voice was soft, compelling, and his actions were sweet. Feeling relief randomly, I gave my thanks and walked with him to class. As he pulled open the door for me, the heat from inside rushed out, pushing my jacket back with the wind, the warmth inviting. As I stepped inside, dodging an under classman, I turned to say something when I stopped at the look on Jasper's face.

He was livid… again. It as like someone had taken a whole new face to sculpt of his, setting lines of anger around his forehead and mouth, the jaw clenched furiously as he stared down, his gaze trained to his feet where-

"What happened to your brace?" I blurted out, staring at his designer jeans, Calvin Klein if I ever saw them, not marred by a thick, overbearing cast. He just stared down, his angry eyes flickering up to mine before he began walking again, creating a shadow of unease around him, and I hesitantly followed, needing my books back.

"You know it was an accident, right?" I asked, keeping my head straight. I didn't want to look at him, afraid of what would happen. Would he turn that sick glare onto me as well?

"Of course it was. You don't have a death wish, do you?" He asked, melodious voice sounding muffled through his clenched teeth. I shook my head incredulously. What was his deal?

"Then why are you suddenly treating me like this? I feel bad enough." I snapped, glancing at him to see his stiff posture, almost like he was carved from stone. I shivered despite myself.

"Things weren't supposed to fall into place the way they have, Alice, and I'm sorry for that. It would probably be better if we didn't talk. Or be friends at all." His voice hadn't lessened its hostility, and I froze in the middle of the hallway, not caring who saw or heard. I felt slightly cold, like someone had slapped me in the face with an icy towel, and I stared up at him, feeling something stoking my anger craftily. I let the flames breathe, and I let the first words that popped into my mouth come out.

"Then you should have saved yourself instead of me if you're so angry about it." I hissed, grabbing my books from him before stomping into class and sliding into my seat, venom practically spitting from my lips. I let the anger flow, and I muttered something unintelligible, slamming my books onto my desk. Cynthia jumped next to me, her wide green eyes taking in my angry appearance and for once in her life, not bothering to ask what was wrong. Irritably, I began taking out my drawing utensils, planning on wasting a class period drawing out my feelings. I felt Jasper's presence as he walked into the room and slumped down on my other side, ignoring Edward's soft voice, the words too quiet for me to catch.

"Hey, Alice, how are the battle wounds?" The girl that sat in front of me turned around, a friendly smile on her face. I stared at her, surprised that she was talking to me, but I managed to smile back. Why scare her away because of Mr. Bi-polar kid was sitting on my other side, glowering at the wall?

"They're pretty good, thanks." I set my brace on the desk, accidentally letting Tyler's name show. The girl looked down at it with interested eyes, and I knew what she was going to ask.

"Can I sign?" She looked up hesitantly, a sharpie in hand. I nodded and presented the case to her, letting her scrawl a loopy Amanda across the vinyl before thanking me, wishing me a speedy recovery, and turning around.

This was turning out to be a very strange day.

* * *

_I know, I know... I didn't want him to be the bad guy either. But he's trying to make her feel better (the whole happy thing and the people being nice) so I guess that makes it better? Anywho, you know what to do! You know you want to review :)_


	14. No Quiero Ser Loca

_Wow... you guys are AMAZING!! Seriously?! I was sooo overwhelmed with the amount of responses I got!! I give you guys TEN THUMBS UP! Two of mine are included in that :)_

_So, I had to type this up REALLY fast because, let's face it, I thought I would have a couple of days, but I'm NOT complaining!! Things are going to get heated up in the next few chapters, not necessarily sexually, but in general. Just warning you :P_

_Oh, and for anyone with flames: I'm not averse to them at all, I generally don't like them, but they can be used to help focus and better me with my writing. On the other hand, I usually prefer them to have some information as to why my story sucks, just so I can see if it can be fixed! Sorry if you don't like it, but if you can say it a little more maturely, we can all leave with a smile :) Just saying!_

_Ok, let's try for TEWNTY FIVE reviews then, ok? I know you guys can do it! I'm into the writing mood, and I've been able to update the past few days really quickly!! As always, thanks soooooooo much for your support, and I appreciate everything you guys have done! I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's got A LOT of Jasper in it!! ;)_

_Enjoy! :)_

_FIXED CHAPTER 14!!! _

_Extra Note: Sorry, I had to add a couple of things in this that I missed before... I don't know why I spaced, but I did! So, here's to the new, revamped Chapter 14! Sorry guys!  
_

_

* * *

  
_

_"Dr. Brandon, why don't you believe me?" I leaned back in my chair, eyes locked with his as he checked over my activity for the day. I had to match analogies together, again. Even though we were in an insane asylum, if we were coherent enough, we were able to take lessons with the doctors, as long as it was recommended. Glancing up, he gave me a long, hard stare that made me feel like I had said something wrong. I looked into the future again, slightly relieved that he wasn't angry with me like I thought he was._

_"Alice… how would you explain your visions, saying hypothetically that they were real?" He pushed his hair back to the side, away from his face where it had fallen when he looked down at my paper. "Where can we begin to look into your mind to find what makes you see what you see?" I leaned forward in my chair, reaching for the hair I know wouldn't be there. For my twelfth birthday, the doctors had let me cut my annoyingly long hair, and now I had a short, pixie cut that suited me more. It suited the institute I was in. _

_"It's a gift." I replied easily, putting my feet on the table. I was a pre-teen, and I felt on top of the world. Dr. Brandon pushed my feet off gently, shaking his head. _

_"That's not how science works." He said calmly, looking back down at my paper. I laughed in a high pitched giggle, making him alarmed. I probably sounded like Cynthia for a second to him. _

_"Can you explain how we happen to be the __only__ planet that seems to have life? Can you explain why every person on the earth is different, personality wise and looks wise? Can you explain the meaning of life? Can you explain how someone can be a vegetable for ten _years_ before waking up one day like nothing happened? What does science have to say to that?" I spat, shrinking into my chair. I didn't want to push him today, but I couldn't help it. I was falling apart, little by little, I was sure he knew it. He stopped checking my paper again, blue eyes searching mine. I felt like I was under a microscope._

_"Alice… what's really wrong?" He asked, moving chairs to sit in the one next to me, trying a tactic that was supposed to make me feel like I had an ally in the room. I hated that tactic because with him it worked. My lips trembled, and I went to push my hair from my eyes from habit, only to feel that my hair was no where near my eyes. I wasn't used to the short hair yet. _

_"Nothing." I mumbled, squishing my chin down to stare at the length of my body. The plain white shirt and plain white sweats didn't show any figure, though I was slowly staring to get one. I know it wouldn't be an overly curvy figure; I girl my size wouldn't be that big, but I still wanted one. I wanted to feel normal. I didn't like the sensation of my mind breaking in half. _

_"Alice, you can tell me." He gently tipped my chin up, staring me in the eyes again. I felt vulnerable, like he already knew what was wrong, but was just waiting for me. I hated the feeling, and I willed my tears to go away. _

_"I feel like my mind is falling apart." I whispered, locking gazes. If he was going to know this, he was going to know my full feelings on the matter. It was Dr. Brandon who said eyes were a portal to the soul; I planned on giving him an eyeful of what it was like to be here. "When I first came here… _five years ago_ I thought it was ok, I'm not __insane__ like they say I am. I'm not. I wasn't. The longer you're here though… it takes you away from everything. I'm losing my mind, and I don't know what's wrong with me, or why I deserve that. I don't want to go crazy." I couldn't help my voice choking up, my eyes watering over so I could only see a blurry Dr. Brandon. "I don't want to be insane. I want go home to a daddy that loves me, but can I?" I shook my head, closing my eyes. "No, I can't. He thinks I'm crazy. And sooner or later… he's going to be right. And I'm scared." I took a deep breath, but before I could go on, Dr. Brandon hugged me tightly, squishing me against his starched white lab coat, the sweater underneath like a soft pillow. I hugged him back, feeling my sobbing take on a new level. He was holding onto me, his head tucked near mine, and I could feel his shoulders shaking. He saw into my soul; I know he did. _

_"Your daddy's here for you." He whispered, rubbing soothing circles into my back. I pulled away slightly, staring at him strangely. What did he mean?_

_"No he's not. He's never coming back," I told him, wiping my eyes. I couldn't cry too much; I hated crying. Dr. Brandon gave me a watery smile, mouth trembling. Something in his eyes stopped me from saying anything else though. It took my twelve year old breath away, and I could only stare. _

_The moment passed though, and he looked away, clearing his voice. _

_"Your father called, actually. He's coming to see you with your mother today, Alice." He said, standing up. Dr. Brandon was back, the kind one I knew a second ago slowly disappearing. I gave a slight, O of understanding with my mouth before standing up too, wiping my eyes again. _

_For a second, I had wished he meant that he was my dad. _

_

* * *

  
_

Literature was beginning to become surreal to me. By the end of that class, I felt like I was in a dream, and as the bell rang I silently collected my things and felt myself drifting from the tense silence behind me like I hardly noticed it. Half of me was screaming for me to turn around and confront Jasper about why he was being a jerk, but it was like I couldn't control the strange, apathetic feeling that took over me.

At the doorway, I stopped, my body finally obeying the quiet, suppressed voice that wanted me to confront him. I turned slowly, my eyes finding his face as he stood silently with Edward their movements sure and exact, almost synchronized. Edward looked up at me slowly, his bronze colored hair hanging in his eyes slightly, but there was no mercy in his golden stare. It was like he pitied me, but couldn't, _wouldn't_ do anything. Staring at them, I felt strange, like I was being overpowered, but I couldn't help it. I frowned, feeling the sick feeling of being manipulated. But who was manipulating me?

"Excuse me." Jasper had moved to my side in a second, his clenched jaw still tense, and his body leaning away from me like I was repulsive. I looked up at him, but it was like a death sentence. There was a strange feeling of taking a mind suppressant drug, and I felt like I was back in the middle of a dream, tired and unobservant of the things around me.

"You need to get to class, Alice." Jasper said softly, turning me around and pushing me out of the door gently. Smiling vaguely, it was like walking on air as I turned in the direction of the mathematics hall. I walked into the Calculus room with a strange, dreamy look on my face. Bella was sitting in her chair, legs crossed in Chanel pants and Jimmy Choo boots, a worried look on her face when I came in. As I sat down, the dream like quality to my mind fading the farther from lit class I got, I felt some of my old anger returning, but not with a vengeance. I think I felt more confused instead, like I wasn't entirely sure how I had gotten where I was. Hadn't I just been in the Literature class, about to tell Jasper off? I frowned in confusion, not even able to look into his future for a clue.

"Good morning Alice. I hope you weren't hurt too badly from the wreck. How are you feeling?" Bella said softly, her voice low and soothing. I smiled and nodded, knowing that out of all of the Cullens, she was my favorite. Apart from when the entire school seemed to think I was weird and they ignored me, she was always trying to help.

"No, I'm fine. Just waiting for this brace to come off, but apart from that and the stitches, I got out lucky." I pulled out my homework, setting it on the desk for Mr. Varner to check, and the tension slowly slipped from my shoulders as I got back into the schooling motion.

"That's good. We were really worried about you." Bella smiled and looked down at her paper, pinky tracing the outline, a habit that I also had. She seemed like she was sharing a private joke with me, but I was horribly out of the loop. As if realizing this, she ducked her head apologetically.

"We were?" I asked, confused. "Who was?" The last time I checked Edward was on Jasper's side (who didn't want to be my friend anymore) and Emmett was most likely submissive to Rosalie (who seemed to really hate me). Sure, she could say Dr. Cullen, but that would be obvious since he was the doctor.

"Edward, Jasper, and myself." Her words made me laugh a little bitterly, and I looked over at her with raised eyebrows.

"I don't think Jasper wants to be friends, let alone worry about me." I said with as much sarcasm that I could muster without being outright rude. Bella didn't need my anger; she didn't deserve it like her brother did.

"What makes you say that?" She asked curiously, turning her head to whisper as Mr. Varner began talking about the upcoming test. A couple of students groaned and there was a collective chuckle throughout the room when one student claimed they would die if they took the test. I looked at their future and saw that they wouldn't, but I didn't say a word. Not like they needed their bubbles busted.

"Because he said he didn't want to be friends." I replied carefully, noticing that Bella's eyes grew more guarded with every word I said. I looked away when her eyes became a little too intense to look at, and I instead studied at the way the color under her eyes was lighter than the last time I had seen her a couple weeks ago.

"Did he really say that?" She asked, passing her paper up to Mr. Varner, ignoring him as he asked her to stop talking. Mr. Varner was planted in front of her chair, frowning, but it was like he was a statue to her. She kept staring, probably trying to see if I was lying. For some reason, I really wish I was. After a couple seconds, Mr. Varner walked away, muttering about disrespect.

"Well, he said it would be better if we didn't talk, or just weren't friends at all." I allowed the truth to slip out, seeing how the word choice was different from mine. Did that mean he wanted to be friends? And yet… you'd have to be friends with someone first to be able to say you shouldn't be friends anymore.

"So he wants to." Bella said practically, seemingly satisfied. I shrugged, looking away and trying to get absorbed in math. Knowing that was a lost cause, I just started drawing, the doodles simple, but unclear as to what it really was, but deep down I knew it was Jasper and me, glaring at each other in the hallway before entering the classroom. I smudged out the faces and drew the light shining down to where you couldn't tell who it really was.

"Tell me something." Bella's voice was slightly desperate sounding, like she needed to hear something. I looked over, alarmed to see her really upset, like she was about to cry. I felt a pang of concern for her, and leaning over slightly I replied worriedly, "Ok, what do you want to know?"

"You don't hate him, do you?" She asked, glancing up with scarily agonized eyes. Her perfect looking face seemed like it had permanent edges to it, the forehead crinkled and a nick between her eyebrows as she frowned sadly, thinking. I could only stare back, my heart pounding despite my clear thoughts on the matter. Did I hate him? No. He was rude one moment, furious the next, gentle to mocking in a matter of seconds that left me reeling, trying to keep up with his bi-polar attitude. Did he hate me? Apparently. But I couldn't hate him, even if being around him was like being stuck in a soap opera.

"No, I really don't." I said quietly, soft enough to avoid eavesdroppers, but loud enough for Bella to hear. I kept eyes locked with hers, trying to convey my sincerity in the statement, and as if understanding my honesty, she nodded slowly, understanding my predicament.

"He's not usually like this." She nonchalantly tacked the statement on, flipping through her book fast enough to blur the pages. I watched them, fascinated.

_I was walking, not really looking where I was going. I felt bubbly though, brighter than I had in years. I had just been asked on a date! They had even scheduled to move around my grounding period, eager to spend time with me. I dodged a group of freshmen, spinning around them before opening the doors, once against colliding with someone. _

_"I'm sorr-" I was cut off, but I couldn't see who it was. Staring up into empty space, I glared, feeling anger bubbling in my gut. _

"He might not be, but it's getting on my nerves." I finally muttered, pushing the vision away. I was going to get asked out. And… I was going to say yes? Would I? Apparently, at the rate I was going, I was. I frowned, deciding I would say no. I didn't need a random boy getting in the way of my life. I had enough going on already.

_"Excuse you." I pushed past something, maneuvering awkwardly around them to get away before I lost my temper. I stepped on a patch of black ice, feeling my footing begin to slip, but before I could I swung my other leg out, spinning me away from danger. Stepping onto solid concrete, I turned back to the empty doorway. _

_"Yeah, why does it matter?" I asked scathingly, waiting impatiently for an answer. I suddenly looked up, staring slightly into the sky. "I think that's a discussion for friends." _

"Alice?" Bella touched my arm hesitantly, pulling me from my thoughts. Her frigid hands made me jerk back slightly, reminded of Dr. Cullen in every way. As if sensing my unease at her icy touch, she smiled in what seemed to be an inviting way.

"Sorry, I do that sometimes. I'm just tired, you know?" I smiled in a way I hoped was legitimate before I looked up at the board, seeing the designated pages for the study guide in the text book. People were writing, talking quietly with one another, smiling and cracking jokes. Mike sat to the side in his desk, sending me weird glances of annoyance and disgust. Inwardly, I winced as I heard him telling his friend about me talking to the weird Cullen girl. She wasn't that weird, not really.

"I know he's being really… hard to figure out right now, but give him time, please?" Bella set something on my desk, her long, slender fingers letting a metal ball drop onto the thick plastic. Grabbing it, I pulled it up to see that it was a bullet, the metal cool and chunky in my hand. It was dull silver, dirt in the three grooves that wrapped around the bottom; a small indent was in the bottom like someone could fit a marble there. Staring at it, I saw, to my shock and curiosity, my name was engraved on the side, the elegant script strange on the foreign metal. It took another second for me to realize it was a bullet.

"Where did you get this?" I asked, staring hard at the way it looked like someone had simple written a signature, but how would you do that to a bullet? You would need proper machinery to engrave a name into metal and it was written so elegantly? I could only stare, wondering what she was getting at.

"It took a long time for people to make bullets in the civil war." Bella informed me, and I heard the amusement in her tone. I didn't like how she seemed to be so ate ease with trying to confuse me, and turning to look up at her, I was about to demand a better explanation when the bell rang.

"You- hey, you didn't-" I spluttered, standing up, wanting an explanation for once in my life. This town was full of secrets, and I was suffering for it. Bella hooked her bag over her shoulder, smiling apologetically at me.

"They would melt any metal they had back then, anything to shape into a bullet. Anything." Bella smiled sadly at me before leaving, her face brightening when she saw Edward waiting at the doorway for her. I felt my anger mount at his calm exterior, uninterested eyes flickering up to meet my indignant ones. He frowned slightly at me, lips pursed, and I jutted my chin out, narrowing my eyes at him as I grabbed my bag and shoved my calculus book into the opening. Take that, jerk. I just put my book in my bag without looking.

Something sparked in his eyes, and his mouth turned into a strange, crooked grin that if anything only made me angrier, but before I could say something, he wrapped an arm around Bella and they walked off, his stare burning into my skull. I wanted to hurt him. For some reason, today was the day I felt like hurting people. I wonder why?

Walking to History class, I noticed people nodding at me and smiling when I walked past, some of them polite, some of them not so much. The more popular people would burst into raucous laughter when I walked past, but I was too angry to let it get to me. My mind was on more important things. Like, why were some people being nice to me? It was strange to think, but maybe Cynthia had something to do with it? I would be surprised if it was her; she usually drove people away with her too large grin that seemed slightly feral sometimes.

Jasper was already in his chair, rigid and tense, as usual, when I walked in. Deciding that instead of snapping at him like I wanted, I would just ignore him completely. It would be harder since he would probably be a thick cloud of anger next to me, but I could take it. I've taken worse than a rejection to a friendship I didn't know he thought we had. Sitting down next to him, I pulled out my books, ready to go into a drawing fest when someone tapped me on the shoulder. Turning slowly around, I came face to face with Tyler, the guy who had signed my cast first.

"Uh, hey." Tyler smiled at me hesitantly, like he wasn't sure why he was talking to me. Raising an eyebrow, I smiled, albeit awkwardly. After waiting a second for him to add what he wanted, I decided to respond. Maybe he was dense?

"Um… hi?" I phrased it more like a question, waiting for his point in poking me. As if sensing something was about to happen, Jasper's head tiled slightly in our direction, but I ignored him, chanting in my head over and over, _he's not worth it, he's not worth it, he's not-_

"What are you doing this Friday?" Tyler asked, leaning in slightly, probably noticing Jasper's tilted head. My eyebrows rose, surprised that the vision had actually happened. Sometimes, they didn't, but apparently this guy's mind was made up.

"Um, sorry, but I'm grounded." I shrugged, feeling guilty when his face fell a little, probably trying to think a way around that situation. For a second, I hesitated, wondering, what would happen if I said yes? Would the date end up being a nice one? Maybe, just maybe, some people would stop thinking I was so insane just because I had been in a crazy house. Quickly, I stamped that thought out savagely. There was no use living on what could have beens. If I did, there would be no point in living at all.

"Oh, that's ok." Tyler grinned impishly, touching my hair lightly, eyes twinkling. "After you're grounded then." I looked past him, feeling slightly annoyed at his audacity, like it was only his decision. I frowned; I don't ever want to go on a date with him, if that was the case. In the back of my mind, I felt Jasper's presence, a cool cloud next to me, chilling my left side slightly. His attitude seemed more heated than his seemingly average body temperature though; he looked like he was about to kill someone.

"Actually Tyler, I'm not really in the mood for dating anyone." I tried to look very sincere in my words.

"So any guy could ask you out and you'd say…" His voice carried off, waiting for me to finish his sentence. I felt my temper curling up and around my words.

"I'd say no." I informed him flatly, waiting for him to return to his seat. He grinned in a more chilling way, making my temper spark again. Why couldn't he leave me alone? Couldn't he see that I wanted to be alone to figure our my thoughts?

"For some reason, I highly doubt that." Tyler laughed in amusement, but I saw his glance at Jasper, and it made me grind my teeth. Did he really think I wanted to go out with Jasper? Seriously? It's a good thing I said no first, this was getting annoying. About to tell him off, I opened my mouth, but I was cut off.

"I think her saying she was grounded was an excuse to say no in the first place; you shouldn't push her." His soft, clipped voice sounded the same as earlier; angry but forced politeness. I turned to look at him, surprised and even more annoyed that he would say that. Since when had he been invited into the conversation? Turning back, I saw Tyler's face turn into disbelief.

"Really?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Wait, no- that's not-"

"She wants you to leave her alone." Jasper tacked on, gold eyes dead and unyielding.

"Then why didn't you say so?" Tyler looked confused.

"I didn't say anything li-"

"Leave her alone, Tyler." Jasper half snarled half commanded, glaring. Turning back to Tyler, I watched his face turn from bemusement to slight fear and anger as he stared Jasper down. There was a tense silence between them before Tyler turned back to me, muttering a quick, "Hope your arm gets better" before going back to his seat. I turned slowly back to my seat, slowly registering what exactly just happened. When my mind wrapped around everything Jasper had said, I felt like I was about to snap.

"What is your problem?" I demanded, turning to glare at him, narrowing my eyes against his perfect stare of frustration, the frown seeming different somehow to me. Jasper's eyes burned, the depth of them astounding me, and I struggled to maintain the anger I had just had.

"Didn't… didn't you want him to leave you alone?" He asked, confused. I rolled my eyes, unfolding my arms to be able to properly show what I meant. I had this bad habit of half talking with my hands, the actions taking place when I was in moments of distress… like right now.

"Yeah, but that's not why I said I was grounded!" I felt volatile, like I was about to snap, but I wasn't sure why. What made my emotions so raw whenever I was around him? I didn't just feel irritated… I felt furious. Pure anger pumping through my veins along with confusion, and though I didn't want to admit it… I felt a little hurt at his callous behavior. Thank the Lord he didn't know that though. He frowned a little more, steepling his fingers in front of him, on the desk. His gaze flickered from me to his hands, suddenly interested in the way they bridged over.

"But you didn't want to go on a date with him." He stated this more to himself, like he was clarifying something. I made a strange noise in the back of my throat, half exasperation, half anger. Why was he smiling slightly at that?

"No, I didn't. But that's not your business, is it?" I snapped. Instead of taking my tone to heart, his smile grew a little bigger. Was he mental or something?

"Miss Alice… Mr. Hale… if you don't mind, I'd like us to start class, and your talking is preventing it. If you have something to say, by all means, take the floor." Mr. Crenshaw gave us a withering look from his place at the front of the room, and I was reduced to pursing my lips and facing forward, my anger simmering down a little with the silence. Jasper shifted awkwardly next to me, making me slightly distracted.

Happily, the class was a simple lecture, notes on the over head, and I forced myself to copy the words down, my child like writing looking strange next to the pretty script Jasper had. Did I look to see how he wrote? Yes. Was I a little envious? Yes. For a guy, he wrote exceptionally well. Was I going to tell him that? No.

The bell rang, signaling my escape, but Jasper stopped me, a frown on his face that I didn't like.

"I'll carry your books again, if that's alright." He said softly, the words coming out in a mumble that still managed to sound good. My temper sparked at that, and I jumped on it.

"I could just get one of my friends to carry them, it's alright." I said scathingly, grabbing my books with my good arm. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction, if there was any satisfaction to have. Why was he talking to me when just two classes ago he was ignoring me? I felt like I was spinning in circles with him. Looking up at him, I saw a ghost of a smile grace his face, the action gone before it could be fully appreciated.

"I'm a generally polite person, Alice. You don't have to be my friend to have me carry your books." He informed me, a soft undertone of a chuckle in his voice. Feeling helpless, I glared, letting him carry my books to my next class, computer. Oh joy… he was in that class too.

* * *

**?? POV ??**

He walked stealthily down the sidewalk, his movements fast, blurred. No one saw him; he ran too fast anyway. By the time he had fully blinked, he was at the other end, rushing to get to the next building. She wouldn't get away so easily, not if he could help it.

"Honestly, Jasper, I don't get it." Alice tilted her head up, her pixie like features standing out in the dismal light of Forks. Her voice was higher pitched, a lovely sound to hear, he thought. She sounded fed up with something, and peering closer he saw the honey haired boy from the coven of vampires, Jasper. His face was schooled into a perfectly calm facade, but he could see the flicker of emotions that Alice failed to miss. They would turn to pained, to longing, to angry, to sad with the slightest of twitches too fast for humans to see. But he saw. He saw everything.

"You don't need to." Jasper sounded emotionless, cold, and he was gleeful to see her shoulders straighten out, a clear sign of her anger. Instead of slouching, she tried to add height to her under average size, and he watched as Jasper glanced down to notice this, an unseeable smile on his face. Anger clouded his mind as he saw that vampire's gaze stay on her as she shook her head, soprano voice tinged with anger.

"I think I deserve to. It has to do with me, after all." She grumbled more to herself than him. Jasper shook his head, his face clearing of the gentle stare to morph into outright amusement.

"Can you just let me carry your books, not as friends?" He asked, giving a short bark of laughter. Alice turned to him, glaring. He had force himself not to get close to the two, lest he be seen. Being seen was dangerous. Being seen was deadly.

"I'd rather you didn't." She said in a tight voice, clenching small hands to glare up at him.

"Too bad." Jasper said cheerfully. He glared, peering at the calm face of Jasper. No. It wasn't allowed. No one else could want her. It was impossible! And yet... it was possible. His stare, the way he didn't get too close... Jasper liked her.

Moving back into the shadows, he felt anger pounding in his veins at Jasper Cullen. The fool would pay for what he was doing. Messing with Alice? Did he know who he was dealing with?

No one did.

* * *

By the time lunch came around, I was going insane. Cynthia had found me, dragging me over to a table of random people I didn't know, the only friendly face I recognized being Angela's. Ben was absent I guess; he wasn't with her. Sinking into my chair, I was introduced to a few sophomores and juniors, two seniors. They all smiled at me, a few patronizing, most of them curious and happy.

"Hey, can we sign your cast?" A senior, Bobby, held up a red sharpie, his face open and friendly. Shrugging, I presented the chunk of vinyl to the table, and it went around, people giggling and doodling smiley faces on it, my arm connected with it, thus making me fly around with said cast. Cynthia beamed at me when I finally got my limb back, and she nudged me.

"See? We can make friends!" She whispered to me, winking at Bobby before linking arms with me. I felt slightly disoriented, my mind pulled in eight different directions, my feelings shot to hell. I didn't register pulling my arm away from hers, but apparently I did. I didn't know exactly what was going on around me; Jasper was still dancing circles in my head (**A/N**: Funny picture, if you think about it… go ahead, see it… Jasper, dancing circles… 8D )

"How long have to two known each other?" Bobby leaned in, eyes on Cynthia but the question addressed to the both of us.

"About seven years?" She looked at me, giggling and nodding as I agreed. "Yeah, I've known her since we were ten." A few people exchanged awkward glances, their friendly faces polite, but hesitant to ask something. I saw what they were about to ask, and I smiled wryly. People could be so transparent some times. For some reason, I couldn't care about what they wanted to know. Going insane, remember?

"That was… when you lived in the asylum?" Samantha, a sophomore with head gear asked, straightened hair frizzy from the weather. I nodded, feeling tense by riddled with dry humor. Cynthia looked at me, waiting for me to snap like I had to day before, but I didn't. Like I said, my emotions were so shot; I couldn't find it in me to care. The entire population of Forks had debated it behind my back, at least she asked to my face.

"Did you kill someone?" Bobby asked bluntly, running his hand though his hair. I let out a bark of laughter, making Cynthia glance at me worriedly, her smile turning slightly into a grimace as she looked at me too long.

"No… but I did hold a bank hostage once." I managed to make my voice as bright and jovial as possible when I said this, staring Samantha in the eyes, finding sick humor in my statement. What was going on with me? I felt out of control, like I was having an out of body experience. There was an awkward silence as people tried to judge if I was serious, or if I was about to snap, but Cynthia's loud, high pitched laugh made them join in slowly too.

"We became friends though! We're inseparable!" She linked arms with me again, grinning like we had a big secret. I wasn't looking at her though. My gaze was turned towards a table all the way across the lunch room where one specific guy was locking gazes with me, making me feel dizzy.

"Oh my gosh… Jasper Hale is staring at Alice!" Amber, the other senior, seemed both intrigued and appalled as the words flew from her lips, and as if on cue, the whole table turned and discreetly looked at him. I looked away, not wanting him to think I started the stupid trend. Cynthia's grip tightened on my arm, making me wince and wrench it away to get away from her death grip.

"Tell me about the Cullens!" Cynthia suggested, her tone practical, but I could see the hidden plans behind her eyes. I felt slightly sick with that idea; she didn't need to know about the Cullens. There was a burning plan in her eyes, and when I saw it, I felt angry.

_"Look, all I'm say is that you need to stay away from Alice." She flicked her red hair back, her grin still in place, but turning fake. As if hearing a response, she tilted her head back, laughing._

_"I know what you are, and you're going to stay away from her. I won't let my father's work unravel because of you." She smirked now, not showing as many teeth, and there was a sick warning in her eyes. Folding her arms, she kept up with her stare. _

_"Wouldn't you like to know?" She asked tauntingly, giggling with a delicate hand to her mouth._

Cynthia stared at me, a question in her eyes knowing, waiting for me to explain, but I didn't. Instead, I gritted my teeth, willing her away. She just wouldn't stop meddling, would she? And what did she mean, "I know what you are"? What were they? Glancing over at their table (avoiding Jasper's gaze) I had to allow the fact that they weren't exactly normal, but what were they? Above average looks? Yeah. Mysterious in an almost haunting sense? Definitely. Was I crushing on one? Unfortunately. Was I going to admit to that out loud? When Hell freezes over.

"There's not a lot to say…" Bobby's voice trailed off, but Amber picked it up, eyes glinting with excitement.

"But we'll say what we know. They moved here awhile ago… well, about a year and a half? Something like that. Anyway, Dr. Cullen is way hot, you know? But he married this lady named Esme-"

"Who is also way hot." Bobby interjected, a grin on his face. A few guys smacked fists at his statement. Amber rolled her eyes and shrugged, annoyed at being interrupted. I felt a slight headache coming on, and I leaned my head against my hand, elbows on the table. Something was buzzing my head, like I was fighting against a vision, but was I? I felt on the edge, my teeth gritted against the slow, steady thudding my head was enduring, and I struggled to listen to Amber. As if sensing my pain, Cynthia grabbed one of my hands and held it under the table for support. I felt too sick to push her away.

"… yeah, I guess she's pretty. So, she can't have kids, and they decided to adopt a bunch of perfect looking people. But the weird part," Amber leaned in like it was a secret, but I could see what she was about to say, and it wasn't that bad, "is that they're all dating each other, you know? Like, Rosalie, the ice queen, is dating Emmett, the cutie. He's always with her though, don't try anything. And Bella, the quiet one who thinks she's too good to talk-" I didn't say that she seemed to not have a problem talking to me, why bother? Something was building inside of me, and I couldn't fight the sick feeling in my stomach. What was going on? "…is with Edward, the pianist. I heard him play in the chorus class once, and oh my gawd it was amazing! But he's always smirking at everyone, like he knows what we're really all about. Like he could know us!" Amber rolled her eyes, getting an appreciative chuckle from the group. The only two that stayed quiet was Angel and me. I was slowly beginning to look at her as a friend; at least she had some sort of manners.

"So anyway, then there's Jasper. He's always dead silent and tense… you know, the mysterious type? When he does talk, it's full of emotion though. Don't take it the wrong way, I think he's bi-polar." She grinned viciously, making me angry. "He thinks he's better than all the girls here, I heard him say it once, and-"

"He's still staring at Alice!" There was a collective sound of, "oohs," and, "aahs!" But I shook my head, disgusted. These girls' minds were so generic. Glancing up, I saw Jasper was looking at me, his eyes making me feel weird, even at a distance. The conflicting emotions that were making me go insane reared their ugly heads, and without thinking, I stood up, letting my chair scrape away from me, the metallic legs scratching the linoleum. The sound grated on me, and I winced, my headache getting worse. Cynthia looked at me, her grin faltering as she saw something on my face, but I didn't say a word. Giving a twisted smile to the table, I grabbed my bag and stalked out of the cafeteria.

I couldn't lose my sanity. Not again.

_Uh oh... is trouble starting? I say YES! As if I can let my poor heroine rest :( She's always so busy. But! Hope is in the future! So, review, and we'll see what adventures I put her through, yes? *Nods* YAY! I knew you wanted to review! Anywho, I had to add that part in there to fix a couple of things, so sorry for the mess up!! Review!  
_


	15. El Beso de la Muerte

_Haha, so no, I didn't get twenty five reviews. But thanks to all those that reviewed! I really appreciate it :P_

_ But! That's ok because I've got something to knock your socks off! Haha, here you go guys, my treat :D_

_

* * *

  
_

_They had done it. Really, it was congratulatory. As I stared up at the ceiling, the colors mixing and blending like I was on an acid trip, I couldn't help the giggle that tore past my lips. I could see someone was going to interrogate me, trying to see what was wrong, but I would only stare, my lips shut from response. I wouldn't be able to fix it. _

_"Alice, what's going on?" Dr. Brandon suddenly stood in front of me, his face stern, his eyes cold and unyielding. I looked at him, feeling like I was falling forward, into a pit, into nothingness. I couldn't help the sensation from making me flinch away. I didn't want to fall. I couldn't fall. And yet… I already had._

_"What do you mean?" I asked sweetly, standing up to walk the length of the room. "Could it be that I'm just a little fed up?" I pushed against the wall. "Could it be that the room is getting smaller every day I'm in here, staring at nothing?" I turned to him, grinning like I had just won something priceless. He kept staring in that odd way, face void of emotion except worry. I giggled. "You wouldn't want to know what's going inside of my head right now." I told him, grinning even bigger. _

_"Why not?" He asked calmly. I shook my head, pointing a finger at him. _

_"You're not playing by the rules." I scolded, turning away to jump on my bed, feet swinging as I kicked them back and forth. There was a soft sigh, and Dr. Brandon sat down next to me. _

_"What are the rules?" He set his pen and paper to the side, trying to let me know he wasn't going to record this._

_"There are no rules." I laughed brightly, moving away from him to look out of the cell. The white washed walls were giving me a headache, and I clapped my hands over my head to stop the pain. It was too bright in this room, I decided. _

_"Alice, tell me what's wrong?" Dr. Brandon moved toward me, his face scolding, but I flinched, moving away from him again. I couldn't stand the look in his eyes. He knew what was wrong, but he didn't want to face it. He refused to face it. And yet… I didn't have a problem. Did I? Yes, yes I did. I groaned, hating the arguing in my head. Why couldn't it go away?_

_"Go ahead, doc." I taunted, jumping on the table in the room, grinning. "Diagnose me now. Tell me what I am. I am now, you know. I'm exactly what you thought I would be. All of you!" I clapped my hands over my mouth, my face contorting to something like shock. "OH!" I giggled again. "But you weren't supposed to know that!" I shrugged, lying back on the table. "Oh well."_

_"Alice, what do you mean?" Dr. Brandon crossed the room again, sitting at the bench like a professional, ignoring my sprawling body on the table. His face was focused on my eyes that roved the ceiling again._

_"I don't know." I murmured suddenly, breaking free of the sick words that wanted to fall from my mouth. "The room is spinning to the side… away from me. I… I can't see anything sometimes." The giggled bubbled past my lips despite my desire to stem them. I wasn't in control anymore. "I- I keep seeing the weirdest things!" I crowed, hitting my head against the table violently. "I see people doing things, having things, and I know it's the future, but it can't be!" I shrieked slightly when he touched my forehead, feeling for a fever. I flinched away from his touch. "You say it's not, but the voices say it is. They force me to see, sometimes." I moaned under my breath, shaking my head. "You're going to suggest a straight jacket to me now, aren't you? You want me to be safe, right? I DON'T WANT ONE!" I felt like I was falling, down, down, down, and yet even as I hit the floor, in my mind I was still falling, the colors rushing past me as visions streamed through my mind like I was in a high speed tunnel, the vibrant shades making me sick to my stomach. _

_"Make it stop." I moaned as I fell, but the words were snatched away by the wind. Something was trying to keep me from falling._

_They didn't succeed._

* * *

The metal doors gave way under my hands as I pushed my way down the hall, a riptide pulling my emotions back and forth, ripping me apart. I felt like I was going crazy, all over again.

Walking down the hallway, I ignored students and teachers alike, their puzzled glances and sneers fueling the black hole inside of me, my vision going hazy with everything piling up. I could hardly concentrate, but I didn't need to worry about it; my body handled all of the instinctive motions to get me as far away from Jasper Hale as I needed to be. If I saw him again, I was sure I would freak.

"What a freak." I heard Jessica's voice, her nasally tones making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, my hands curling into fists despite my feet's steps away from her group in the hall. She was lounging with Mike and the rest of them, her gaze sharp and deadly.

"Does she think she can fit in here?" Mike chimed in, earning a few chuckles and sharp, piped giggles. Feeling something rip past my throat, it took me a moment to realize I was laughing. That's what a laugh sounded like? It was so… cold and dead. Lifeless. It scared me worse than their words. I was losing it.

As I pushed the door open, I nearly ran into Jasper, his body completely still, leaning against the wall outside as if he was waiting for me. The noise came out again, clawing past my lips, sick and twisted sounding. Think of the devil and the devil shall appear.

"Excuse you." I pushed past him, my cast thunking awkwardly against his chest as I maneuvered around him, trying to get away before I lost my temper. Getting around him, I stepped on a patch of black ice, feeling my foot give way underneath me. Adrenaline rushing from my earlier attempt to get away from the school, I swung my other leg out, spinning me away and onto solid concrete, saving me from falling.

"You seem angry." His voice was clipped, polite but distanced, bored. I laughed bitterly. Seriously, the laugh scared me worse than anything. My mind hazed slightly, and I almost lost balance as a vision tried to force its way into my thoughts. Groaning, I pushed it away.

"Are you ok?" He was by my side, brow furrowed, hand reaching out to steady me. I jerked away on instinct, not wanting to be touched. I couldn't be touched. The number one rule, engraved in my mind. What was wrong with me? I eyes glazed slightly as I tried to stay conscious.

"Yeah, why does it matter?" I asked scathingly, waiting impatiently for an answer. I suddenly looked up; he was so close to me it was like he was towering over me. "I think that's a discussion for friends." Glaring at him pointedly, I turned around and walked away.

I didn't have to hesitate in my steps toward my painfully bright, yellow Porsche. You couldn't miss it. And then, I stopped. I was right. You couldn't miss that color, especially on the road. If I drove away, people would see, and my parents would know I was skipping. Sighing tonelessly, I took off to the exit of the school, steps sure and confidant as I slowly blended into the forest that was tamed back to the edge of the road. I wouldn't be seen, and I would accomplish my goal. Getting away before I snapped in half.

"What are you doing?" Or… maybe not. Right in front of me, his face carefully emotionless was Jasper, his body tilted as he leaned against the nearby pine tree, not caring about the moisture in the wood that would make his shirt damp. His nice, Dolce and Gabbana shirt, most likely getting ruined. His face was dead panned, but something in his eyes made me stop from simply thinking he was callous. It didn't matter anyway; I couldn't think straight to save my life.

"What are you doing here?" I half yelled half growled, flinging my hands up in the air and turning away from the road to plunge into the forest. Something screamed in the back of my head for me to stop, but I couldn't control myself anymore. My reckless side was taking over, the side I've feared since I was able to know the word. Did that stop me? No.

"Do you not want me here?" He was right next to me, shoulder close to touching, but not, his voice uncertain, warily curious. His hands were in his jacket pockets, face turned towards mine, hair in his eyes at that angle. Perfectly confused; that's what I'd call him. Whereas I was just confused.

"I don't know, you're the one with multiple personality disorder!" I grumbled, stomping towards nothing in particular. My feet made twigs snap and leaves squish in the damp mush underneath me. The pine needles broke under my weight, and the earth gave off a sweet pine scent, but it was lost to me. All I saw was a thick blanket of moss everywhere but on the forest floor, and I had to get away. Maybe a walk wasn't a good idea? It was like I was being locked away, the colors all the same, hardly needing to blend together.

"I… don't understand" His voice was softer, more innocent sounding, and it made me stop. He was right next to me? I hadn't heard his journey with me; his steps were silent. Whirling around on him, I glared, fire licking my insides with a fury that made tears prick my eyes. I blinked them back as a torrent of words flew past my lips, scorching me. I tried not to choke on them; I was shutting down.

"You're more insane than I am!" I shouted, staring up into his pained face. Why would he look in pain? I felt the fury growing inside of me, mounting into a sick force. He flinched, but it was lost to me. "You stare at me like I'm a disgusting, horrible human being, the very first day you look at me like you're about to _kill_ me, any time I glanced at you, it was like I had personally offended you, but you then find time to tease and talk like you weren't doing anything wrong? What did I ever do to you?" My voice cracked, but I didn't care. It was like a hurricane was swirling around me. "Then, you ignore me like I don't exist, but you want to sit with me? You act like you're trying to help, but then randomly you glare at me like I did something. What did I do?! I'm sorry, ok? I didn't mean to get into a wreck! I didn't mean to knock you out for so long- I didn't mean anything, ok? I don't know what happened that day, but getting into a wreck was the least of my worries!

"But you treat me like I tried to kill you! I don't have a death wish, but you're making me go insane! I can't go insane, I can't!" I tugged at my short hair in frustration, taking in his shocked face like fuel to the flame. My voice grew. "You tell me that we can't be friends, but then go about acting like you're interested? What right do you have to act over possessive in History? So what if he's a creep? You can't be my friend, remember? You don't get a say!" I took a deep breath, needing something in my lungs besides the fire that was consuming me.

"I'm so tired of feeling like this around you! I don't know, but I can't… I can't control myself around you. I- I- can't lose control, I can't afford to. What are you doing to me? I- just- I-" My words faltered, and I just stared up at him, breathing haggardly, feeling spent. All the while, he just stared at me, pain and shock dominating the planes of his face. No words came from his lips, and furious, I stumbled forward, swinging my encased arm at him, hitting him square in the chest. The pain reverberated up my arm, making me gasp, but as I brought my other hand up to hold my injured arm, Jasper suddenly moved, taking hold of both of my wrist in his hands, encasing them completely.

He acted so suddenly, I was too shocked to do anything. He pulled me forward, slamming me against him with a teeth jarring sort of pain, my arms down by his side as he held my wrists tightly, a bone crushing strength that made me whimper.

"Jasper, what are you-" I breathed out in fear, but he cut me off.

"Don't move." He hissed as he brought his lips to my neck, delicately kissing the pulse hammering underneath my skin.

* * *

_... Well... not even I know what to say..._


	16. Quiero Oir La Verdad

_Haha, sorry to leave you hanging for a few days... I had to, you know? It wouldn't be right to give you something like that and then give the solution right after! So, I hope you enjoy this, I worked hard!_

_Thanks sooooo much for your feedback, it always makes me smile!! I really appreciate all of the support you guys have given me, specifically one person, Flamer. :) Thanks! You've really motivated me! _

_So, let's try for thirty reviews, yeah? :) Yeah._

_Here you guys go! Enjoy!_

_

* * *

__I stared at the ceiling. I studied the way the flat surface was covered in spider web like cracks that danced and spun on the plain white canvas. A small fly flew over the top of it, and transfixed, I followed the fly's movements as it swung to and fro, the erratic buzzing noise sending my nerves into a jittery frenzy that kept time with the fly's progression in the room. There were whispers in my head, things that would happen, things that could happen and yet… it didn't draw to me. It was like hearing a faint echo of the past. It didn't matter. _

_Voices. Low toned voices, coming down the hall. Their steps were soft, the soles of their shoes worn from use. It was the doctors, come for another dose of insanity. Feeling my lips curl up into a vague smile, I turned my head slightly, the cracks on the wall next to me mere inches from my face. _

_"She's not a danger to herself." I recognized that voice. It was angry, like I usually made it. But it wasn't me this time… someone else. Someone else made him angry. The tug at my lips turned up a little more._

_"She's made no recovery; how are we to know?" There was solemnity, a scattered sense of dismal acceptance to the fact that this girl, whoever she was, had made no recovery. He didn't sound too sad though; merely disappointed. The other voice had an edge to it then, an edge that cut me as pictures and voices scattered throughout my mind like shaking an etch-a-sketch._

_"The least we could do is try. I have a theory behind her breakdown." My lips stopped pulling, and my frown reappeared as the screech of the door opening signaled the voices approach closer. Instead of moving away, I looked back up at the ceiling, watching with relief as the fly saw its freedom and shot through the door like a bullet. Something in me clicked at the thought. Freedom. The word sounded sweet in my ears like candy._

_"Alice." Someone's warm hand touched my shoulder, but I didn't move. I didn't feel the need to. Why should I have the inclination to show life when he gave me death? The pictures reappeared, flowing in and out of me like water._

_"Alice, we're going to take you to the recreational room today. Doesn't that sound nice?" Someone pulled me into a sitting position, pulling and adjusting my shirt the right way, releasing the tightness of the thick cotton. It had been pulling against my skin for some time. I looked up, seeing him giving me a strange look, a look of pity and worry and something else that made me dizzy. Looking down, I stared at the cracks on the floor, the stain free tops of my shoes. Numbly, I felt my legs pushing against me, and I rose a little too fluidly, staggering slightly at my sudden movement. Had I wanted to move? No. Did I though? I suppose… how could I tell? I had seen myself standing a little while earlier, which one was real? Which was a dream? The one before, or the one now?  
_

_"Just one step at a time Alice." There was a high pitched voice now, thin arms looping through mine like a stable thing to lean on. I tried to settle on that thing's name, but when I tried to focus it was like I was falling down, spiraling out of control, and before I could fall into that black hole I decided the thing's name didn't matter. My thoughts fell back into a swirling pool in the center of my mind._

_"Has she spoken since?" The high pitched voice grated on me like a badly struck violin, and I pulled away. _

_"No, no Alice, stay with her. No, she hasn't." The tone was scolding like I was a tiny child. Something gripped my shoulders, the feeling making my bones creak, but I kept moving, feeling like I was walking on water. There was a strange noise from the thing next to me, like it was sympathetic. A dozen visions rushed through me, making the white washed walls spin, the cracks creating a psychedelic hallway that made the pull at the corner of my lips stronger. A door, another door, and then the rec room._

_Toys. Things to play with. Things to read, write, watch, hear, see. Things that were already going on inside of me. I could hardly see them all, and I sat down into another white chair to take it all in from both my eyes and my mind. The thing gave a nervous giggle, making me clench my teeth._

_"Alice, don't you want to read a book?" It suggested, and I looked at it, taking in the red hair. Red. Blood. Cynthia. I shook my head, turning back to observing the others who were so much like me… but so different. They gagged, spit, talked, swore, raved, cried, screamed. They were sedated, bound, gagged, tossed, turned, loved. I sat, observing all._

_"Why doesn't she talk?" Cynthia asked, the sick tones in her voice making me shake my head slowly. It was like she was talking red, talking bloody, talking sick. I felt nauseous. _

_"Weeping, lying, yelling, screaming, crying… they all mean you have something left to lose." I said numbly, my lips not used to forming the words though I had mouthed many others like them to myself countless times. The Cynthia girl froze, and she stopped breathing._

_"You have something to live for, Alice." It was the voice from the hallway. I shook my head, shaking my thoughts and distorting the pictures around me._

"_Alice, we are here for you. We always will be." There was a darker presence on my other side, distracting me, but before I could look into it, a word popped into my mind, and I obliged it, letting my mouth turn up into a grotesque smile like Cynthia's._

_"Yeah Alice, we're here for you!" Cynthia gushed, grabbing my arm tighter. I shook my head, resisting the urge to puke at the sudden action._

_"Liars have something to live for. It's a slaughter house out there..." I said, a bubble of laughter bursting from my throat that sent shivers up my own spine. I couldn't help it; I laughed harder._

_You can't spell slaughter without laughter, you see.  
_

* * *

My thoughts were lost. My main emotions were dead. The only thing I could feel was a thick, palpable fear that clogged my senses as he brushed his lips along my neck, his hands encasing my wrists and preventing me from struggling. Something told me in the recesses of my mind not to move, that I would regret it, and my body, still with shock, listened.

"Be very still." His voice was rough silk, the growl in his throat as he spoke, his nose skimming my collar bone, the intimate action making me shiver. As I did, his grip increased on my wrists, stopping all movement again. Apart from our breaths, there was no noise in the thicket we stood in. My heart hammered a tattoo in my throat, and every time it skipped a beat, his grip would tighten before loosening, his breath tickling my throat. What was he doing to me? Why was he so close? He moved slightly, lips ghosting over my neck before stopping right where my pulse hammered in panic. Slowly, hesitantly, softly he kissed my pulse again, lips fluttering against my skin like dove's wings.

What was he doing to me? Why did I feel like I was teetering on the edge of death when he was right there? I closed my eyes, my death flashing like a sick beacon in front of me, taunting me to pull away, to move, and I made a noise of fear in my throat, pulling away slightly, hoping he'd release me.

"Stop." He commanded, and my muscles locked in place. He took a shuddering breath, a low rumble in his chest making me want to jerk back, but my body listened to him, his demands freezing me in my place. His grip lessoned, but I was too scared to pull away. Carefully, his lips ghosted over my skin, barely stopping when he reached my collar bone. I don't know what he was doing, but it was driving me insane for more than one reason.

Terrified, I closed my eyes against his chest, leaning in, hoping he would let me go. My emotions were falling, dwindling slowly like a feather falling gracefully to the ground, and I couldn't help the peace that invaded my mind, slowly calming me down. I didn't realize I was crying until I sniffled, my tears wet on my cheeks. Jasper pulled back gradually, his jaw tight, eyes murderous, but when he saw my tears something in his face changed. The harshness around his gaze lessoned, and he swept a cold finger down my cheek slowly, wiping my tears away.

"I'm… sorry." He whispered, eyes burning with a new emotion that made my heart ache. There was a double meaning to his words that I frowned at as I furiously wiped the traitorous tears away, feeling them fall down anyway, the sobs building back up in my throat. Slowly, uncertainly, Jasper reached towards me again, something in his eyes telling me it was ok to back away this time. I didn't. He wrapped me in an embrace I fell against without a seconds thought, my crying worsening with the gesture. Whenever someone did that… a kind, reaching embrace, I broke down.

"Alice, I'm so sorry." His voice was soft, arms wrapped around me tightly, comfortingly. I shook my head, worried I would lose control again. He was trying to hold me together, as if stopping me from breaking apart like I was just a few minutes ago.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked in a weak voice, feeling breakable. Everything had been building against me, stacking up, one after another, and now he had caught me when I shattered, a backhanded feeling of safety in his arms. There was a soft laugh, a sad laugh at my statement. It was not humorous, not in the least.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Alice. It's me. I'm… I'm not good for you. For anyone. I… I don't mean to do this, to you of all people." His voice took on a rougher edge. "But I c-can't be your friend. For your sake, I can't." The tears worsened for some reason, and he pulled me back, staring at me, face pained again. I stared into his eyes though, the intensity breath taking. How could anyone look in those eyes and see anything less than that? It was like I was falling into them, the sorrow washing over me again. I could drown in those eyes.

"Why though?" I asked numbly, still staring. He froze, his face blank as he seemed to be choosing his words carefully. Very, very carefully. He was hiding something; I could tell from the walls that seemed to be closing his eyes away from me.

"I can't explain. I'm… not sure what to say to make you believe me." His words made something in me laugh, the ripping sound wrenching itself free, startling him with the sound. He jumped back, slightly surprised that I could make such a noise.

"I think I've got you one upped." I informed him thickly, wiping tears away. My mind was swirling lazily, a faux tranquility that I knew would break soon. It always did. Coming in and out in lapses, getting worse and worse the longer it went. I felt it beginning, and now it wouldn't let me go. I was trapped.

"What do you mean?" He asked cautiously, probably sensing the lunacy in my statement. It sounded like raw insanity to me. The lack of caring, the blunt way of saying it. I was as gone as I could get. Turning away from him, I felt his arms let go, and I began walking, feeling the need to move.

"I… I don't want to say it." I laughed bitterly. I didn't know if he was following me or not, but half of me wanted him to be following me. Half of me wanted him as far away as I could get him, but I just wasn't in control of myself, was I? Why should I get both?

"Alice." He grabbed my shoulder gently, stopping my motions with just one touch. I froze at his cold touch, wishing I wore a thicker jacket; it was getting chilly. Turning my head slowly, I looked up at him, his face sad and lips pursed. I looked down, embarrassed that I had said anything. Now he would want to know. Sliding his fingers along my jaw, he tilted my head up until I was actually looking at him, his face worried. He was worried… about me? "Alice, you can tell me what's wrong." I shook my head angrily, feeling the lump in my throat building.

"No, I can't." I whispered, hating the gentle way his eyes appraised me. What was going on? I felt like I was falling, no way to stop the silent, whispering motion the wind gave me, telling me it was ok. I didn't feel like it was ok. I felt afraid.

"No one will be able to help if you don't say what's wrong." He sounded exasperated, but patient at the same time, waiting for me to spill.

"It doesn't matter. I'll bottle it up eventually, no one has to know." I said, feigning a smile. Instead of being amused like I hoped, his frown deepened after he flinched slightly.

"It… it does matter, Alice. I-" He took a slow breath, his eyes closing momentarily. He began talking with his eyes closed, lips barely moving as he spoke. "I will feel them. It- it will drive me crazy to, to feel something you're hiding. To know I could stop i-it. I will feel it. I can't… bear to see you like that, to know something that no one else does, a-and not be able to stop it." His eyes opened slowly, burning through his lashes at me, and my heart felt like it was about to burst. If I could survive without one, I would want my heart to stop beating to get away from the scalding feeling that erupted in my veins. My breath stopped, and I kept my gaze locked with his, trying to understand.

"… You would feel it?" I asked softly, frowning up at him. My relaxed, swirling thoughts were starting to pick up, but I tried desperately to stamp them down. Now wasn't the time to get lost in the blizzard of emotions right now. He was telling me something important. Something that was hard for him to say.

"Every time." His frown deepened, and a short, cold laugh bubbled from him. "I can't believe I'm telling you this. I… shouldn't." He let me go and then it was him to walk away, fists clenched by his side, trying to calm down. Looking at his hunched back, I stood there, feeling foolish, feeling like I was missing something so obvious that it was a slap in the face when I realized what it was.

"Jasper," I gasped, taking a few steps towards him before stopping. When I said his name, he flinched, steps coming to a halt. His back was still turned, and he hunkered into his jacket, waiting for the final blow. "You… can feel the emotions of people around you?" I asked softly, somehow knowing that he would hear me. He didn't answer, merely turning his head to the left, eyes downcast, glaring at the ground in defeat. The wind whistled through the trees, chilling me slightly, whispering and spitting in my ears, but I ignored it. This was suddenly so much more important than being cold.

Stepping slowly, letting him know I was walking towards him, I stood right behind him, hesitantly touching his back. He flinched, but turned slightly, his emotions unreadable. And yet… wonder filled me. There was someone on the earth like me? Someone science couldn't explain? Something that seemed so surreal… but who was I to make a comment? I was the same. We were the same. Something sparked in me. Hope, I realized.

"What am I feeling?" I asked, staring at him, feeling something growing in me that I couldn't stop. I don't think I ever wanted to stop it; was there a point? I tried to school my features to not give away my feelings, and I waited for him to speak in that perfect voice.

"… You… you're intrigued." His voice was surprised. "You feel relieved, and curious. And yet," He turned fully, eyes wide, staring. "There is such a sadness beneath everything… it's heartbreaking." His voice lowered slightly at the last word like he was tasting it, and I felt my eyes go wide. He really could. He could feel my emotions. I had found someone like me.

"Amazing." I breathed, staring up at him, not caring that he was about a foot taller than me. It didn't matter to me that he could see when I was lying all of those times I said I was ok; why should it matter? He stared back down at me, probably debating whether to believe himself or not.

"How… how could you say that?" He asked in that soft tone of his, brushing my bangs back from my face. I smiled, taking a slight step closer to him, the bubble growing.

"How could I not?" I asked, taking another step. Either he didn't notice or he didn't care because he stood absolutely still, staring at me in a needing sort of way. "I… I'm so… happy right now it's unbelievable." I smiled again, feeling a slight calm take over. Peace. What a beautiful word.

"I know." He smiled at that, his eyebrows scrunched up, and I laughed, knowing he actually did know. From the look on his face, he didn't know why, but he knew. I took another step, close enough to touch, but I didn't. Let him come the rest of the way if he dared.

The cooler air rushed past suddenly, making me shiver and Jasper lock into place. He was rigid again, his eyes bleak, and I saw my death momentarily. Frowning, I took a step back, noticing the way his jaw relaxed slightly when I did. There was a connection. Taking another step back, I watched as he slowly changed his features to something less angry, and wordlessly he took off his jacket, handing it to me. Reaching out, I took it, pulling it on gratefully despite the meanings surrounding it. What was he playing at, doing that?

"How can you be so… ok with that?" He asked suddenly, stepping forward after a few moments to take my hand. His fingers were cold to the touch, but I didn't mind, squeezing them for reassurance when he started to pull back. Looking up at him, I felt my spirit rise, another smile taking away the anger I had just been feeling. Being around him was like my personal anti-depressant. But then I remembered he had asked a question, and I froze, not sure how I was supposed to go about answering. Should I tell him? He told me his secret… he trusted me. I could trust him. I knew that without a doubt.

"I've seen worse, trust me." I informed him as he began walking again, fingers laced with mine, his stride shorter so I could keep up. My casted arm swung by my other side to keep me out of cloud nine and back on earth. Jasper looked over at me, something in his eyes telling me he was waiting for more. "I… you know how people have… inclinations to the future?" I looked down, staring at the ground. If I told him this, this one thing… it would either make or break me. The moss flattened under my steps, and I sighed. "I- I can…" Why couldn't I say it? Pressing my lips together, I tried to find the right words.

"You have inclinations to the future." He said softly, thumb brushing over my skin. I was brought back to earth at that, head turning sharply to look at him, eyes wide. He guessed. He knew. What was I going to do? Staring at him, I nodded slowly, a little faster when I realized he hadn't taken off running yet.

"More than just an inclination." I corrected, feeling a little hopeful that he didn't leave. Was he really used to being around people who had gifts like that? I smiled a little happily, a small laugh escaping my lips. Telling him was like being free of chains I didn't know I had.

"So you… saw all of this?" He asked after giving me a small glance, eyes smoldering in a way that took my breath away. My breath caught, and I simply stared, surprised at how he seemed a little more relaxed.

"No, not at all." I had to relent, staring around the green tomb. "It's never set in stone, you know? The future is based on people's decisions." When I said this he froze, giving me a hard stare that was slightly uncomfortable. Shifting a little, I stopped walking when I spotted a fallen tree devoid of nasty moss. Walking over to it, I sat down, patting the spot next to me to indicate he should sit. I didn't miss the way he sat just a little spaced from me, close enough to hear, but far enough that we couldn't touch.

"So, you've seen my decisions." He seemed like he was clarifying a fact, but unhappy to do so. I laughed again, shaking my head and tracing patterns in the wood.

"I can't see your future, or any other Cullen's future. Or Jacob Black's for that matter." I stated in undertones, still disappointed I couldn't. Looking over at him, I saw that he looked immensely relieved, and I vaguely wondered why. I was nervous slightly to see what he had planned, or what he thought I had seen him doing.

"You said earlier… you hated being out of control. What did you mean?" He asked, me willing the words away with every one he spoke. He was treading on dangerous territory, and as if to remind me, the swirl of emotions rose a little in my mind. Determined to crush it back, I decided to tell him, to spite my other half.

"I… can't control what I see. When I see it… how I see it, it doesn't matter." I spat bitterly, feeling the edge coming back on, feeling the anger in my words. I shook my head, staring at the ground. "When I'm around you… I see me, but if you're part of the vision, it's like no one's there. And I can't control… I don't have a hold of it, at all. It's like a curse, and I hardly use it for good. I hate not being able to know what I am doing, or being able to say I can focus and think what I want because I can't. I can't say that. It's the most frightening thing to know not even my thoughts are my own sometimes." I looked up at him, willing him to understand. He had to know what he was getting into. "You… make me feel out of control sometimes. I can't describe how amazing or how terrifying it is at the same time. But you feeling my emotions, I guess you could see a little bit." I shook my head. This was where he would leave.

And yet… he made no motion to.

"…You're scared." He said softly, not having to ask. I nodded dumbly, looking up at the overhang of trees. A bird fluttered past, its small wings pumping erratically in panic to get away from the hawk that suddenly swooped down and caught it easily, the action so precise and simple it was painful to watch.

"I don't want to be crazy." I whispered, eyes on the hawk as it flew away, wings barely moving as it began its climb to the upper canopy of branches, unaware of my eyes glued to it.

"Alice, you're not crazy." Jasper told me, voice firm. I looked back at him, staring at his face, looking for traces of a joke. My other half shrieked in indignation, pulling me farther apart.

"I went insane, once." I said conversationally, looking away from his perfect face to the thick expanse of woods. I said it like I hadn't heard him, like I was completely unaware that he had spoken. I could almost feel his tinge of annoyance when I did that. "In the asylum… you don't always start out insane. Some do, some need to have the medicine, some need to talk and get it out. But not all of us. And after awhile… you begin to be what they say you are." I grinned. "And you believe what they tell you. You lose it… unless they can bring you back." Jumping off of the tree, I wandered to where a pretty pink flower grew along a tree. The colors jumped out among the gloom, making me envious of such an independent thing.

"Were you brought back?" He asked, and I was unsurprised to hear his voice right behind me. He could move so quickly, so silently, I stopped being shocked. I shrugged, looking at the flower from all angles.

"To some people, yes. I am sane to the government, to my family, to the doctors. I have been pulled away from the shadows, from the brink insanity. Snatched away, never to see it. To me… I never left it. Once you've been that way… you're always like that. You can suppress it though." I looked back at him, making sure he understood. "But with everything that's been going on… I feel like I'm falling all over again." Turning back to the flower, I was shocked to see it gone. Whirling around, I saw Jasper playing with it with long, slender fingers. He spun it slowly, hand twirling it from the stem, his gaze stuck on the light pink tones it had. As he looked back up at me, he held out the flower and I took it, the soft petals grazing my skin lightly.

"Do you want to fall?" He asked, pulling my stare away from the flower. I couldn't answer though, what was there to say? I slowly shook my head, and let out a hiccup as the tears threatened to fall. Did I want that black hole again? No. Did I want the room as dark as night, enveloping me in a blanket of gloom?

"No." I shook my head, laughing bleakly. "Never again."

"Never again." He agreed, pulling me close, my fingers dropping the flower as he gave me a much needed hug.

* * *

"So… all of those people that are being nice to me…" My voice trailed off as we made the long trek back to my car, our discussion purely factual as I drilled him on his gift. He would sometimes ask questions too, but after learning about me not seeing him, he wasn't too curious for some reason.

"Apart from Angela and your friend Cynthia, yes. You didn't deserve everyone being that way to you." Jasper moved a branch out of my way as I hopped off of a log, landing next to him with a satisfied smile. His jacket was thick with his scent, and when I was sure he wasn't looking, I breathed it in, content.

"How hard is it to manipulate emotions though?" I asked, catching up to his long stride with slight effort since his legs were so long. As if sensing my distress (which, he probably did) he slowed down, smiling sheepishly.

"Theirs was easy. Half of the school didn't know why they hated you, but in small towns… it's easy to follow everyone you've grown up with." He grinned a little when I rolled my eyes, checking my watch to make sure I wouldn't be too late getting home.

"Wait… Tyler asked me out. Was that you?" I demanded, horrified. Jasper stopped walking when I did, and for a second he looked nervous, staring at my hands planted on my hips and my stern expression. I saw the guilt in his eyes, and I shook my head in disbelief. I brushed past him, slightly peeved that he would make a guy ask me out to make me feel better.

"Alice, you've got to understand, it's hard sometimes to make sure it's the right dose of happiness, and the right person it's directed at!" Jasper caught up with me, grabbing my arm to stop me. I stopped reluctantly, refusing to look him in the eyes. I would give in otherwise. "I didn't realize I had made him a little too happy until he asked you!" I shook my head, a little befuddled.

"So when you realized what happened…" I prodded him to finish. He shook his head, a funny glint in his eye.

"You have no idea how hard it was… to just let him go. I don't get jealous, I've felt it from others, but I don't usually have envy. When I heard him trying to persuade you on a date though… it was excruciating to think that you might say yes." He laughed hollowly at the thought, making me grin a little.

"The weird, out of it feelings between literature and calculus?" I asked pointedly when it was quiet again. He smiled, realizing I was letting him off of the hook.

"I had to." Was all he replied with. Turning back to look at him, I rolled my eyes at his blank expression.

The parking lot came into view, it mostly empty except for a few teachers' cars parked in a small huddle. Looking back at Jasper, I saw him smiling to himself, and looking back at the lot I saw why. He didn't have a ride home; the only student car being mine. Acting like it was actually a problem, I sighed in what I hope sounded like reluctance.

"You're joking." He told me, his face amused.

"I can give you a ride." I said easily, walking towards my car. When Jasper stopped me, pulling me back like I was a child, I almost fell over at how powerful his grasp was. As if sensing this, he let go immediately, giving me an apologetic smile.

"Can I drive?" He asked, letting a finger trace the edge of my Porsche. I pulled the keys out of my bag, shaking my head.

"I'm not that bad of a driver, contrary to popular belief. I never wrecked before." I sniffed delicately, unlocking the doors. As I went to open mine though, he stopped me, a hand on the door.

"It's not polite for a man to let a woman drive." He said with a smirk. I turned back and smacked him with my cast, hissing in pain when it once again connected with a dull thunk, the pain worse for me than him, I was positive. Jasper grabbed my wrist, holding it in his hand for a second before looking up at me with agonized eyes.

"You can feel that?" I breathed, the pain receding to a dull throb that it usually was in. Jasper nodded, blinking slowly.

"Every time." He replied, grabbing my other hand to pull me to the other side of the car. Opening the door for me, he gently pushed me in, closing the door and getting into the other side so fast it was staggering. "And now that you're injured, you shouldn't drive." Smiling, he started the car, revving it over my protests. As he peeled out of the school, I laughed when he took off at high speeds, hitting fifty in three seconds. At least he was a fast driver.

"You still haven't explained things." I told him after a moment of silence, me leaning back against the seat, happy and content. That surprised me. It didn't fee like I needed any encouragement in what I was feeling, and I was… happy. Shock coursed through me right along with it, but I didn't care. I was happy.

"What haven't I explained?" He asked lightly, shifting gears and changing lanes to get around a slow VW. The Porsche hummed beneath me, happy that it was being put to good use.

"The wreck, for one thing. How did we get out so lucky? And then, why exactly you thought we shouldn't be friends. You know, the whole death glare and vague, aloof comments?" I looked over at him, watching as his face went from relaxed to wary in a second. I kept staring though, even when he looked over at me to see if I was really trying to know. I locked gazes with him, wanting to win. Shaking his head, he pursed his lips, looking at the road before answering.

"When we crashed, I had what you'd call… an adrenaline rush. In times of panic or distress, a lot of people have them." I stared at him, disbelief etched on my face at his words. An adrenaline rush, really? I shook my head. He was lying; he had to be! I had an adrenaline rush when he was near, and I wasn't flying through windows saving people!

"Next excuse." I said dismissively, flicking my wrist.

"No, I'm serious. You can look it up on Google, even." He nodded to himself, changing gears again to pick up speed as we hit eighty. Glancing out of the window, I saw that we had passed my neighborhood, and were almost at the outskirts of the town.

"Wait, where are we going?" I asked in a too loud voice, turning back to see a small smile on his face.

"We're going to your house. I was just taking a detour." I realized that me asking that was changing subjects, making him think he was off the hook. Glaring, I folded my arms, shaking my head. He was going to explain this, and he was going to be completely honest. That or I would have to give into physical violence. Looking him over quickly, the muscles flexing and the hidden strength I knew he had, I shook my head. That would be a hell of a fight, and I knew that I would lose. Easily.

"So, the death glares." I continued, raising my eyebrows. Jasper looked over at me, frustration clear on his face, but I wouldn't back down. Sure, he was taking my freakish vision news abnormally well, but I wanted answers. I wanted to know why I almost fell over the edge again. He owed me that, at least. As if sensing my unwillingness to back down, he looked away, face bleak. The speedometer inched to ninety, but I didn't mind. I felt calm in a car with him, and though it was strange to say, I knew he wouldn't let another wreck happen… even if the first one technically wasn't anyone's fault.

"Alice, what if I can't say?" He asked, closing his eyes. My expression cleared; I wasn't expecting to hear that, of all things he could come up with. It sounded so pathetic, thinking back on it, but the tone of his voice and the edge of warning in his words was so tangible it made have to choose my next words carefully.

"Is it… beneficial to my health to not know?" I asked carefully, glancing up at him to see him gazing out of the window on his left as he drove, the window reflecting worried gold eyes. When he saw me looking at him, he gave a slight jerk of the head once before turning and looking back at the road. I shook the unease from around me when he did that; it was like he was retreating farther into his bubble the longer the car ride went. I didn't want to see him to that, not after how much he had found out about me. It was like now we were connected in a way that I had never been before, and I wasn't going to let it go.

"Why did you grab me like that earlier?" I asked quietly, looking down at my hands. They were trembling slightly as I recalled the way he had held me, tense but gentle. It was unnerving and exciting at the same time. Jasper was looking out of the window again, jaw clenched as he thought about something that was obviously troubling him.

"Why do you want to know so much?" He finally responded, voice clipped and distant. Alarmed, I simply stared at him, waiting for him to realize what he had just said. Why wouldn't I want to know? I wanted to know why I felt like I was about to die! Feeling annoyance settle in, I folded my arms and waited, leaning with the car as he swerved around a bend. The silence dragged, and I gave an impatient sigh to let him know I was still waiting.

"… Alice, it doesn't matter." He finally muttered, gazing back at me before shaking his head and focusing on the window in front of him.

"For some reason, I don't believe that." I felt something rumbling in me, warning me to calm down, but it was also welcoming the turn I had taken. I was well aware that I could still crack, and crack easily, and it made me cautious to proceed. Suddenly braking, Jasper switched gears again, taking the key out of the ignition and turning to glare at me before I could fully blink. He was trembling slightly, lips parted, eyes hinting at something wilder than I could imagine. I leaned in though, my emotions swirling and tempting me closer. He smelled so good, how could I resist. The devil chuckled blackly with me, his dark eyes penetrating as I stopped moving to look at him, inches apart.

"I can't do this." He whispered, something making his voice crack as he said it. I raised an eyebrow, smiling in a way I knew was frosty and reckless.

"Neither can I." I agreed, pressing my lips against his.

If I was expecting that certain events would take place after my rash actions… I would have second guessed myself. I probably would have stopped, sat on my hands, and waited until the car stopped before getting out and getting as far away as I could. I thought I was feeling wild with reckless abandon… but that didn't prepare me for Jasper's response.

He was stone cold. He wasn't moving, a frozen statue but colder, definitely harsher. He didn't bother to push me away, but he made no move to continue. It wasn't an earth shattering kiss, it was a stupid, immature mouth to mouth motion, and I pulled away, embarrassed and hurt. His eyes were closed, his lips pressed tightly shut, and I had to look away, had to get away from the disappointment at his obvious annoyance. It took me a moment to realize where I was, and once I did I scrambled out of my car, grabbing my bag and slamming the door with as much force as I could muster.

"Alice." He was out of the car, the door was closing, and he was walking towards me. I shook my head, looking towards my garage with heartrending feeling pumping through my veins. Did I want him to feel how mortified I was? Turning to glare at him, I closed my walls up as best as I knew how, letting the fury fester and grow inside of me.

"Thanks so much for the ride." I spat, taking a few steps back. He stared at me, his face void of all sentiment. Gold eyes watched me warily as I kept walking. "If you need to call for a ride home, go ahead." I scrambled for my phone, tossing it to him with a bad underarm throw. He caught it without even glancing before he threw it back, shaking his head.

"I need to walk." He rasped, eyes never leaving my face.

"Yeah… you do that." I turned and fled, covering my feelings as best as I could, forcing myself to frolic in the vehemence that welcomed me with open arms. Stomping towards the door, it slammed open as I stalked to the kitchen, bent on hurting something.

"Where have you been?" I whirled around, surprised to meet the dark, brooding eyes of Jacob Black.

_Whoo! Sorry, I had to do that... it was necessary you see because, well, I can. It was too quiet, I was realizing. Way too quiet. So, add a little more tension, shall we? :) Hope you liked it! I'll update after thirty reviews!!_


	17. En la Media

_So... I'm back. From the dead? No... not the dead; I'm not a vampire or anything. But school came back with a horrid vengance, and I wasn't sure how I wanted to proceed with the next parts of the story. I knew what I wanted... but the transitions were off. So, I'm terribly sorry for the delay!! Thanks for all of your patience :P I owe you one!!_

_So, I put this together this past hour or so (probably longer) for you because I'm getting more ideas to pull things together. This isn't the ending, far from it really, so bare with me, enjoy, and review!! I'll be getting back into the motions, so I'll be able to update faster. The next one will probably be around next week, maybe earlier if I get the time... Also, sorry for all of the grammar mistakes, I'll be sending my beta the next chapter for fixing because I don't know what I'd do without her!!  
_

_Thanks for all of your support!! Reivews? :D Yes. _

_

* * *

__When I gained back my sanity, everything was dark and blurry. The white walls lost their luster, and it seemed like the night refused to peel back it's sheet to reveal the beauty I remembered. I was locked in a dark room by then, the walls black and the bed dark. I lay there, crying silently into the blackness, waiting for someone to find me again. Someone had to find me, right? _

_I shook my head, able to see the simple blackness because let's face it; I saw that I would be seeing the darkness no matter what. Either way, it was dark. The future? Dark. The present? Dark. I bit back a scream of frustration. Darkness. It was all I was doomed for._

* * *

**?? POV ??**

He stalked along the trees, his steps hardly registering on the ground. The wind was blowing his scent away from the two of them, thankfully. The moment it changed, he'd have to switch directions or else he could be spotted, but luck and skill was in his favor. They didn't know he was there, both of them too wrapped up in one another to notice anything. Sure, anger tinged the air like a sick flavoring, but Alice had always been too emotional. She was like that, all heart, hardly any mind.

"…I'm so tired of feeling like this around you! I don't know, but I can't… I can't control myself around you. I- I- can't lose control, I can't afford to. What are you doing to me? I- just- I-" Her voice trailed off, the words taking on less anger and more hopelessness that made a low, indiscernible growl rip from his perfect lips. Jasper was making her feel like that? It was blasphemy. A hot, balmy fury pounded in his veins along with his venom, urging him to attack. He resisted though; it wouldn't do well to give in now. The game was still in progress.

She was glaring, eyes watering, face upturned toward his, shivering from the cold, but she wasn't noticing. Jasper was staring down at her, and it was no lie to say he was feeling her every emotion along with his. He was thirsty too, her scent blowing right into his face. She suddenly swung her arm up, attempting to hurt him with her thick cast, but as it connected with Jasper's chest, the wind blew again, and both vampires tensed, Jasper for a whole different reason than he man in the shadows. His hand was gripping her wrist, his lips trembling as he struggled not to attack. She was staring dumbly up at him, anger and slight concern flitting across her features, and he tensed in the shadows of the large tree, ready to jump to save her at the slightest inclination otherwise. Jasper's chest was rippling with silent snarls as he fought, and the shadows shifted as he watched their scene with growing anger. Jasper was endangering her? He was a monster, a sick, horrible, sadistic mon-

"Jasper, what are you-" Her voice was panicked now, worry tingeing it. Human instinct told her to worry. Human instinct told her this was dangerous. But she wasn't pulling away? Jealousy rippled along his spine and he bared his teeth at the blond vampire who was trying not to kill her. He shouldn't be the one there. He should be burned, dead for the second time, no rebirth. The one in the shadows, his fangs glinting despite the gloom should be there, lips descending to her neck like Jasper- wait-

"Don't move." Jasper hissed, lips descending to her hammering pulse that could be heard where he was hiding. Something snapped in him, and he dug his fingers into the earth, ripping rocks and roots to shreds as the monster in front of him kissed _his_ girl's neck.

The wind shifted slightly, and then the sickest, most revolting smell he'd ever encountered filled his mouth, knocking him back onto his rear. He was on his feet in less than a second, his face twisted in a soundless snarl. The woods around him were empty though. Who was there? What was there? Something was lurking about the trees, straying away from the wind, but had messed up. It was hard to place what exactly it smelled like. It was thick and heady, musky and it burned like acid in his throat. Stalking with the wind, he kept his scent away from the still vampire in the clearing, Alice's fearful face engraved in his mind. Something else was watching her, and it was going to pay.

* * *

I stared dumbly up at him, my mind hardly registering that he was in the house. Something said that I should be alarmed; my parents weren't home and our security was pretty state-of-the-art, but after my dramatic situation with Jasper, a six foot something Indian glaring at me didn't seem to phase me. If anything, it was a relief to see someone who didn't have a supernatural gift to see right through my lies. It was normal; the way life should be.

"What do you mean?" I asked, dropping my bag and walking past him to go to the kitchen; I wanted an apple. Grabbing it, I hopped onto the marble island, still managing to have to look up at his glowering frame as he stalked after me, seething openly. He was shaking slightly, eyebrows scrunched up either in thought or frustration; my bet was frustration. I noticed right then that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and his shorts looked a little tattered. What had he been doing? Raising my eyebrows, I watched as he began pacing, tremors wracking his tanned back every now and then. Maybe if he put a shirt on, he wouldn't be shivering so badly?

"I mean," His words were laced with fury, "What were you doing in the middle of the woods with _him_?" He turned abruptly in an about face, barely managing to avoid knocking over the basket of fruit that had been set out. Dodging said basket, he kept his gaze locked with mine, eyebrows raised. I shook my head, letting out a humorless bark of laughter that didn't sound strange, but wasn't exactly me, either.

"I don't see why it's any of your business." I crossed my arms, apple still in hand as I waited for him to retaliate angrily, as expected. Though I couldn't see his future, I saw the way he was shaking his head and his arms trembled, hinting at his anger. My own fury was being channeled from Jasper to Jacob, the words flowing of their own accord. "And I don't know what exactly you're doing in my house. Did someone let you in?" He stopped pacing, right in front of me, literally towering over me. Something in the back of my head told me to calm him down; it wasn't worth it to see him blow his top. I couldn't really control my anger though, and I repressed that thought.

"I told you he was dangerous. Why didn't you just listen to me?" He groaned, shoving his fists into his eyes. Acting on the words in the back of my head, I put a hand on his shoulder for reassurance, ignoring the scalding hot heat he gave off. It was completely opposite of Jasper's freezing cold hands that held mine softly, and though it burned, I ignored the desire to pull away.

"I don't understand why I should stay away." I evaded his first statement, hating how he said dangerous. There was a shiver of fear down my spine when he said it, and I knew why. Jasper was indeed, dangerous. I knew that like I knew my own heartbeat; it was a statement of fact no one could deny. It was in the way he carried himself, in the way he spoke. Underlying the calm, controlled words was something he fought to hide from everyone else. I didn't want Jacob to know I knew that though.

"Why can't you just listen? It's not even just that anymore… I can't, you're stupidly putting yourself in danger, why can't you realize that?" He growled in frustration, hands dropping as he stared down at me, not just anger in the lines of his face. There was worry, and a hint of relief that put me on my guard. Why would he be relieved? Stepping back slightly, Jacob seemed torn in half, the exact same thing that I felt.

"I don't think I should be coddled like an ignorant child!" I snapped, barely managing not to flinch as he swung around and shoved his openly seething face near mine. His shaking worsened, but I held my ground.

"Do you have a death wish?" He hissed in my face, hands coming up to clench his short black hair angrily. As if realizing it was shorter than he had expected, his hands dropped, one of them reaching up towards my face to jab a finger near me. "Are you that _stupid_ that you can't fathom anything but butting into something that doesn't concern you?"

"If I'm being ordered to stop acting on the thought of freewill then yes, it is my business!" I pushed him back lamely with my good arm, touching his burning skin with force, but he didn't budge. It was like Jasper; he didn't even look down at the contact. On the other hand, the force of my shove was making my hand throb slightly, like I had tried to hit a brick wall. Ignoring the pain, I brought my hand back to my lap.

"You're just a variable!" He ground out, a weird sound vibrating from his chest, his head shaking slightly as he took a quick step back, hands to his temples like he was trying to calm down. Something was whispering to me, urgently, to calm him down. Something said I was in real danger right now, and I took a deep breath, acting on that instinct finally. He seemed a little more dangerous right now than Jasper had. The idea made me shiver.

"Why can't I know?" I asked softly, jumping off of the island to walk around it, taking a bite of my apple. The instinct was to get away from the trembling Indian, and I did so without regret. He was starting to make me terribly nervous. The house creaked slightly around us as the wind blew, and I vaguely wondered when my parents would be home. Knowing my father, he'd either be enraged a shirtless guy was in the house with me, or relieved since it meant I wasn't a loner like he thought. Stepping around the wrought iron table, I sat down in the stylish, but uncomfortable seats, watching warily as Jacob sat down across from me, his shaking not as noticeable now that he had time to breathe.

"I told you; I can't say." He ground out, still frustrated, but seeing my diplomatic stance he was trying to take one too. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

"You have to give me more than that." I began ticking my fingers one by one as I talked. "I could nail you for breaking, entering, spying on me, and harassment. How did you even know I was in the woods?" I steepled my fingers, keeping my actions smooth and slow. I didn't need him thinking I was being aggressive. I don't know where the instinct to be calm was coming from, but I was adamant to keep it. Why? I was trying to find out.

"I really can't say." He snapped, folding arms over a well toned chest. Why wasn't he wearing a shirt? I laughed bitterly, much to his annoyance. Neither of us was going to back down, and I think he knew that deep down too.

"And I really can't do anything until I know the facts." I retorted, folding my arms as well. If he was going to play like this, I was pissed off enough to fight back. My wound from Jasper was still smarting angrily, and I wasn't letting it go anytime soon. Jacob frowned at me, eyebrows scrunched again, thinking angrily about something. There was a tense silence as I waited, impatient but faking calm, him breathing angrily, his shaking lessening, but still there in random, spasmatic moments. The silence pressed in on us, and I was sure something bad was about to happen, but what? Even my own future was blocked when he was around.

"You're not giving in, are you." It wasn't a question, and I smiled smugly at the hint of defeat in his tone.

"Nope." I simpered cockily, waiting. It was quiet again, broken only by my much needed bites of apple, the crunching sounding strange in the otherwise silent room. Not even the maid was in the house; where had she gone?

"This sucks." He blew air out of his nose, looking out of the window the table was situated near. His frown deepened, looking more serious than someone his age ever should. "I really can't say, but you're not willing to listen. Can't you just not be difficult?" He suggested, looking back at me. I shook my head no, shrugging nonchalantly. He growled under his breath, the action slightly animalistic and startling. The words, 'keep him calm' ran through my mind again.

"Can't you just hint at it?" I asked patiently, eyebrows raised expectantly. Jacob froze, head tilting to the side as if he had heard something strange, but intriguing. I knew he was going to go along with it from the way his dark, observant eyes sparkled, and I waited silently for him to concede. Thoughtful, he nodded, albeit slowly.

"The Quileutes," He said slowly, dark eyes boring into mine "have many legends telling of where we come from and what we believe. One of those legends says that we descended from wolves, and it's against tribal law to kill them since we are their brothers. The wolves are the protectors, and we give offerings to them." He spoke cautiously, like he was dancing around something, and I made no move to break the slight spell his words were creating. "These supposed wolves we come from," His eyes rolled telling me how much stock he put into the legend. I smiled encouragingly. "The Quileutes only have one real enemy, and it's made known what that enemy is. The cold ones." His voice took on an ominous tone, eyebrows furrowing as he concentrated. "The cold ones aren't like humans. They are… they feed off of humans."

"Vampires." I said, prodding him with the word. His grin wasn't very reassuring.

"Blood suckers. They're extremely-" His voice cut off, and he frowned, as if something bothered him. "Only the- hot blooded, the descendents of wolves, can kill the cold ones. The two have fought for centuries, and both are extremely dangerous. The cold ones are merciless, the legends say, and they don't feel anything. The legends have stayed with us for many years, passed on from generation to generation forcibly." He smiled vaguely, standing up suddenly and staring down at me with a glint in his eyes that made me uncomfortable.

"So what are you saying?" I asked angrily, standing up as well as he walked away. His steps were silent, unnerving, and his story didn't make sense. What did cold ones have to do with anything? "Cold ones exist or something?" I laughed slightly, shaking my head. "Vampires exist? Garlic and Crosses and all of that?" Jacob shrugged, turning to exit out of the garage door.

"No, Alice. Those are just legends… but you'll know what I mean soon. When you do… I'll be waiting." He said smugly, knowing he had the upper hand again. Frowning, I glared at him, walking over to make him stay and explain himself better. A reckless smile stole over his face before he turned and opened the door, running out and slamming it behind him. Surprised, I took after him, calling something out. Flinging the door open, I ran past the cars, dodging the Porsche and running into the driveway to see-

Nothing.

The driveway and yard were completely empty, devoid of any tanned skinned boy's or chalky pale ones for that matter. I stood out there, peering around the outskirts of the thin woods near my garage, angry now at both of the two people who deemed it ok to flit in and out of my life. What was he playing at? Did he think that stupid legend would merit as a real clue? Vampires, blood suckers, cold ones… yeah right. And yet… now I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched. The back of my neck prickled, and I whirled around, glaring into the gloom of my garage. Was something there? My future was picking up speed again, the pictures lazily dancing in my mind's eye, and I shook my head, turning back to go into the house. No one was watching me.

Stepping into the house, I looked back at the table where Jacob had told his story. The cold ones? Hot blooded ones? I shook my head, but stopped when I noticed something. My apple wasn't there anymore. Frowning, I began walking over to the table, prepared for an investigation, but something hit the ground with a clatter and grabbed my foot.

"OH!" I jumped in the air, whirling around and stepping back in instinct, not ready to go without a fight. Looking around the empty air, I looked down to see my cell phone vibrating erratically on the floor. Ignoring my heart thudding angrily in my chest and my shot nerves, I picked up the little device before answering with a slightly strangled, "Hello?"

"Hi Alice!" Cynthia chirped brightly on the other end, the static pixelating her voice slightly. "I have some good news, and some bad news." Taking slow breaths, I turned around and began walking up the stairs to my room, my fingers drawing along the side of the wall before I reached my bed, plopping down on it, feeling weary. With Cynthia, both news were probably bad.

"Ok, what's the news?" I asked tiredly, laying down and staring up at the stars that contrasted with the white paint. It helped me relax a little.

"You know how everyone found out about you living in the insane asylum?" Cynthia asked with slight pitches in her voice that grated on my nerves. She didn't give me time to say anything though, her giggling taking on a strange note. "Well, I found out who got the dirt. You know Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton?" I froze, my eyes focusing on the largest star on the ceiling, my free hand clenching into a fist.

"Yes…" I said slowly, frustration making me clench my jaw and anger seeping into my system again. As if sensing my fury, Cynthia's voice dropped a little and the laughter ceased.

"Well, they snuck into the office and got a hold of your file. It says where you've been, and apparently the entire teacher's staff knew where you had been too. They told everyone for good gossip. So, good news is that I talked with the Cullens, you know the Cullens?"

"Yes, I know the Cullens. Cynthia, I don't want to talk about it." I sighed softly, feeling the tension grow inside of me as I tried to repress it. I couldn't let it get the best of me, but her words were taking my self control and mangling it wretchedly.

"But you need to listen! I went up to them after school-"

"Cynthia, stop-"

"It's important! I mean, come on-"

"I said I didn't want-"

"I went up to them today-"

"I'm hanging up."

"And I told them, I said…" Cynthia's voice grew softer, probably realizing that I didn't want to hear it. A hollow noise was gathering in my ears, my eyes blurring. Where was her voice? Had she stopped talking completely? No, I could hear her, just faintly. She was saying something, but I couldn't focus, my limbs falling down against the pillow as fatigue washed over me. What was happening to me? I felt so, so tired, my eyes half closed, my limbs too lax and comfortable for movement. I could hardly breathe, my mind giving in as the stars blurred together until the entire ceiling was bathed in darkness. I shivered as cold fingers brushed my cheek, and then… nothing.

_I was running from something, and it was gaining on me fast. My breath was short and quick, in the nose, out of the mouth, in the nose, out of the mouth… _

_I wasn't sure where exactly I was going. All I knew was that as long as I was running, I had a chance. The moment I stopped… I was dead. _

_There was a crashing noise, and flinched, trying to dodge to the left as something barreled into me. I was flying, branches and leaves stinging my skin like hornets bites, and I curled into myself, trying to minimize the target. My eyes were closed, the flashes of light illuminating my eyelids slightly before flickering to the thick darkness. I fell, tumbling over and over through and around tree stumps, the jolting ride finally throwing me to the ground unceremoniously. Falling onto the hard packed earth, my eyes flew open and I found myself in a circular glade that was surrounded by inhuman beings that stared harshly at me in the dim light. _

_This had to be a dream. My eyes blurred as I stood up wincing tenderly from my painful landing. Looking at each figure with a stunned feeling, I tried to wrap my head around the word supernatural. That's what they were though. Stark contrasts of each other that both took my breath away and made me gasp in air at the same time. _

_Pale white, dark brown… they all stared at me, frowns or glares adorning perfect faces. In between the people stood wolves, large russet colored wolves that seemed to be pacing, keeping the peace. It was silent there, but the unspoken words were so thick they could be cut with a knife. I had to choose. _

_Were these the cold ones? Were these the hot blooded beings that protected? They looked so amazing, but so… realistic. I didn't recognize any of them though. The cold ones were different, but at the same time so similar it was uncanny. Their pale skin, blood red eyes, devastatingly beautiful leers… it was a perfect contrast to the dark skinned Indians that had arms folded over muscles that seemed to large and buff to be human. The snow around them melted slightly, and their dark hair was glossed back like silk, smooth as ravens wings. The wolves were massive, their steps leaving gaping holes in the snow that surrounded the entire gathering. _

_Choose. That's what those eyes said. Choose your fate, choose your destiny. Their eyes said more than words ever could, and I stumbled, torn between hot and cold, good and back, heavy and light. The differences made my mind spin, and I stumbled again, trying to choose my fate and destiny with little knowledge of the outcome. _

_And then… the people shifted slightly as two others joined the group. Those two I recognized and a small smile took over my face at them until I noticed something. One stood tall and tan, shirtless and hard faced like the others while his opposite stood calm, red eyes glinting with his dangerous leer. They stood side by side, their postures mirroring each other, their eyes condemning me the same way everyone else did. Choose, those eyes said. Choose or die. _

_I walked up to them, sizing them up even though my heart screamed that I already knew which way to go. _

_One of them smiled, his hand reaching out to take me for eternity. I unhesitatingly copied his movement._

I jumped, jerking out of my sleep and gasping in air as I struggled with the thick comforter that enveloped me in a chokehold. Wrenching the innocent cloth free, I threw the thick blanket to the ground, my shoulders shaking slightly as a light draft brushed across my skin. Teeth chattering, I looked around and struggled to contain the slight whimper of fear from the vivid nightmare that clung to my mind like cobwebs. What had that been about? The cold ones… the hot blooded ones… wolves descended from who knows what. Stories come to life in the form of painted dreams. My shivering increased.

Looking around the room, I strained to find the source of the draft. My heart thudded in my chest, but it stopped for a second when I saw the open window, the curtains fluttering slightly from the wind that sang through. My window had never been open before. My heart's pace picked up again at the thought of someone trying to break in. We were a wealthier family in Forks, who wouldn't want to sneak in? Standing up hesitantly, I bit my lip and hurried over to the wood, grabbing the panel and slamming it shut with unnecessary force, but I felt a little relief as I locked the latch. Turning away, I made a quick trek back to my bed, climbing in and wrapping myself up tightly to stop my trembling. How long had it been open? What had made it open? I frowned and looked over at my clock. 5:34 A.M.

I stood up slowly, my limbs still stiff and shot from my jerky awakening to the real world. I might as well wake them up. Lugging my cast after me, I made my way over to the bathroom, knowing I'd be to school early, but not caring. After Jasper, Jacob, Cynthia, and the unexplainable fatigue, I had a lot to think about. My mind was swirling, but not with visions this time. This time I had to look at hard facts. There would be no turning back.

* * *

He grabbed a few papers, looking down at the documents with concern, his brows furrowed over glasses that he didn't need. The pictures stared up at him, mocking and falsely bright, but it made him smile anyway. She always put up a brave front, even if no one was watching.

"Knock, knock." A soft voice called from the doorway, pulling his eyes away from the paper and over to the woman in the doorway. She was pretty with bright blue eyes and simple shoulder blond hair that was held back with sunglasses. Of course, her skin was slightly oily to his gaze, her one eyebrow was thicker than the other, and she didn't walk as graceful as he, but such was the curse for humans. No other human noticed those imperfections, and he wasn't going to burst her bubble.

"I see you found my house alright." He said softly, making sure to stand up slowly and carefully. Moving too fast was still a problem, and he fought to control it. His contacts burned a little in his eyes, reminding him that he needed to change them soon, but he ignored it as she sauntered over, hips naturally swaying in designer jeans.

"I needed to make a business call." She said coyly, setting her Chanel bag down and settling herself in the office chair. "And I heard you were the one to help." He nodded slowly, looking back at the case file before looking up at her, the eyes the only resemblance between her and the girl.

"I'd be happy to help given the right reason." He replied pleasantly, ignoring the underlying tone of invitation in her words. She was always so ready to do something she had never been prepared for.

"She's slipping up again. I don't know what to do, but I got a call saying she was skipping, she was talking with those weird children, those Cullens, and I had to talk to you." She shook her head, blond hair turning and reflecting with the lights. He nodded slowly, stepping away to look out of a window where a girl with long red hair flounced back and forth outside, getting firewood for the fireplace. She would need to keep warm, he realized, and he wasn't helping. Too caught up, again. She would ignore him for probably a day before helping again. She was always so sweet.

"The Cullens are a perfectly fine bunch; I've talked to Dr. Cullen and he seems to help her. She connects with him rather well." Looking back at the generic valley girl, he was surprised to see her gaping at him. He was used to those looks, but from her… it was surreal.

"You've changed a lot." She commented finally, tearing her eyes away to look at her purse. "I don't mean personality wise… you're just like her with stoic stares but emotion filled words. Her father seems to notice sometimes." She laughed bitterly, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. "I think he suspects, but then again, who wouldn't?"

"You've said enough. What's past is the past, and we can not fix it." He walked over, careful to set a gentle hand on her knee. She looked up at him with scrunched eyebrows. "What you can do is be more of a mother to her. She's lonely, and she needs someone."

"What about Cynthia? She's a good girl, and she'd-"

"She shies from Cynthia with good reason. Almost as good a reason as why she shied away from me." He shrugged even though the pain was like setting his heart ablaze, but he pushed it away. What was done was done, and there was no turning back.

"I thought she'd be happy to see you. I'm happy to see you." There was hesitance in her last words, like she was shy or scared of rejection, and he turned around, surprised. It used to be the other way around. Now she was trying to chase? She was the shy one? Maybe he had changed a little too much.

"I'm glad." He said softly, turning away to see the redhead looking out into the woods, hands on her hips. She was thinking, thinking a bit too hard. Things didn't come as easy for her like the other one, and it made things hard for them. For the both of them, and him, he was realizing.

"Why have you changed so much?" The question was meant to be curious and open, but he flinched at it, hating the words. Had he wanted this? He shook his head.

"Wouldn't I love to know." He whispered, fists clenched, fingers pushing against granite hands that would never budge.

* * *

I drove to school carefully, dodging around the larger puddles from the rain that was collecting on the roads. I managed to miss most of them, keeping my Porsche relatively clean from any dirt or mud collecting in the puddles in the road. Maybe someone could fix that? I shrugged; it wasn't my problem.

_The cold ones_. The words made me shiver despite my large overcoat and the heat cranked in my car, and I thought back to my dream. It was so surreal, like watching a fast forwarded movie before a slow motion gathering, everything so sickeningly in detail it couldn't be real.

I thought about Jasper, his black eyed stare, his gold eyed stare. His mood swings, his beauty, his ambiguity. A hidden puzzle beneath an enigma. A mystery that would never end.

Jacob said to stay away…

I walked to Literature slowly, managing to nod to the people who were nice, knowing their friendliness was an act of Jasper Hale's. He was too good to me, even when he was horrible to me. Neither Angela nor Cynthia was in sight, so I sped to first period faster so I didn't have to worry about them sneaking up.

He was dangerous; wasn't that obvious?

He was already sitting down when I walked in, his stiff posture and perfect hair not a surprise. Edward sat next to him, lounging in his chair calmly, but when I walked in he froze, turning to look at me with hazy gold eyes tinged black around the edges. I frowned; why did their eyes change? Nodding to him, I walked silently to my chair and sat down, pulling out my sketch pad and doodling aimlessly on one of the pages.

Jasper didn't bother to even look at me.

The cold ones were the enemies of the wolves, or protectors, of the tribe. They were like vampires, right? Blood suckers, he had said sardonically like it was an inside joke. I glanced up as Cynthia walked by, sitting down next to me and smiling slightly before grabbing her stuff and beginning the warmup on the board. I glanced back to see Edward staring at me strangely, a mix between curiosity and worry.

Why couldn't I listen? Now I had to choose, but choose between what? What exactly was I dealing with here? I bit my lip and struggled to hide my emotions so that Jasper wouldn't feel them, so he wouldn't manipulate them. I made myself feel tired, knowing if anything changed I would know it was him. Even with my long sleep, I felt completely drained.

I was in danger if I stayed…

But how did they become cold ones? Were they really real? What exactly made them cold? The teacher began talking, her face happy and bright. Jasper shifted next to me, and I felt slightly better, a little rejuvenated and less worn out.

"Cut it out." I hissed at him, not bothering to look to see his reaction. I grabbed my paper to start the work on the board.

The legends were forcibly passed from generation to generation…

The legends? Or what the legends foretold? I shook my head, trying to write and think. The Quileutes seemed to stick to this law from the way Jacob talked, like it was a religion. His hot blooded ones were strong, fast, and able to kill something like a vampire…

Something like a wolf?

I froze, staring at my paper like it was the key to the world. A wolf… wolves descended from who knows what, passed on through people… protectors…

Werewolves.

I shook my head. His legends foretold of vampires and werewolves? The cold ones, the hot ones –I shook my head at the pun- it all seemed so surreal.

"My dad wants to talk to you." Cynthia's voice seemed cautious, like she wasn't sure what to say. Without thinking, I nodded, frowning down at my paper. Her words hardly registered. Nearby, Edward shifted as if he was turning toward us.

The legends say they don't feel anything…

Why wouldn't they? Or did they? If they were cold, unnaturally cold vampires, they wouldn't feel much. They would be fast, strong… able to withstand anything and have a horrible thirst for blood… probably shied away from humans and anyone really… a hatred between the vampires and the werewolves would make sense. Like the one between Jasper and Jacob? Vampires… only werewolves able to kill it…

I stood up so fast the room spun, my mind screaming as everything began clicking into place, the actions and reactions blurring and meshing like I was underwater. I was aware of the room staring at me, some students amused, some annoyed, some confused. The teacher was bemused, a smile on her face.

"Alice, what-"

Edward clattered to the floor, grasping his head as I shook mine, my thoughts running a mile a minute, the conclusions too bizarre but too real to pass as anything but the ravings of a mad woman. Blindly, I stumbled back, looking around the room to see Jasper staring at me, face pained as he took in my emotions. His eyes, his golden black eyes were so intense it made my heart ache, but as his mouth opened I saw his teeth. Pearly white teeth sharp and pointed in a way no human's should be.

Biting back a scream I took off running, the walls spinning around me and my name echoing in the room behind me.

* * *

_Yeah... hope you enjoyed! For those hating me asking for reviews, I'm sorry, but I'm just like that. If it's a turnoff or what not, you don't have to read or review for that matter, haha. It's just what I do. If it's childish, I can't help but be a kid once in awhile. Everyone's got their quirks, and that just happens to be mine :D Whoo!_

_I'll update soon!_


	18. La Verdad del Monstro

_So, thanks for your responses! They really made me smile, and for that I made this chapter 15 pages long! It took awhile though because now I'm on the drill team, and practices are long, but no matter! This is for you guys :P_

_Twenty reviews sounds good? Yeah :D_

_If anyone seems out of character, let me know, ok? I wasn't sure about some parts of this chapter, and I hope they don't seem too flexible. I know Alice has been out of character a little, but for those asking about that, I have to say this: with this specific plotline, she'd have to be. Before she was a vampire, you don't know exactly how she was, what we do know of her was her in an insane asylum. So, this is a twist on that part, meaning we don't know exactly how she'd be. In this story, she was in an insane asylum for 10 years, and that would mess with someone who was there for no reason. So, sorry if it seems out of character, but that's why. _

_Anywhee, hope you enjoy! I'll try to make the updates closer together now. Review and enjoy!!_

_

* * *

  
_

I ran, my steps too similar to the ones just a few weeks ago when everyone found out where I'd come from. It was like I was destined to be running from things for the rest of my life; a coward my name. I didn't care though; I had to get away, and I wasn't stopping anytime soon. The hallways were empty, everyone in class and learning something, ignorant to the monsters that roamed their very hallways. The monsters that lived to watch us die…

_I was running, but someone was pulling me back, stopping me, words insistent in my ear_.

Wasn't going to happen. Now I knew why I couldn't see their futures; how was my mind (as strange as it was) supposed to know or fathom a vampire's actions? Even with all of the unexplainable gifts people seemed to have, a vampire would not be even close to running on the same brainwave as a human.

_I was in pain, something dragging me away from another being, tears down my face_ _as I fought against the_ _invisible_.

I was going to be taken by force? I shook my head and ran faster, hitting the double doors and seeing my future abruptly shut off before my very eyes. Jacob was around; who else had that supposed gift? He had probably guessed when it would click, and was waiting, just like he said he would. Was he a werewolf? Was he talking about himself with legends being forced upon him? I pulled the hood to my coat up to block the misting rain that was settling on me like a moist blanket, blocking the moaning wind from my ears. Walking past a few old and rusty cars, I peered around the gloom, looking for the one ally I felt I had.

"I knew you'd figure it out." His voice startled me, husky and calm and I whirled around to see him near my car, sitting idly on a red motorcycle, the paint job astonishingly nice, the motor a good model. He was shirtless but a jacket was hanging loosely off of him like it had been put on begrudgingly. A smile played about confidant lips, and he raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to catch my breath to speak.

"I have questions." I breathed, walking over to him and trying to calm my hammering heart. Something told me to hurry; I was running out of time.

"I may have answers. We have to get out of here though." His grin widened a little, and he nodded to the doors. "I can smell them coming." I frowned, looking back at the doors and then to him. He could smell them? I mean, I know they smelled good; Jasper's jacket was proof of that, but was it that strong? If he was a werewolf though…

"What do you mean?" I asked, hoping he didn't mean something along the lines of my visions. I wouldn't go without a fight, but now I understood why a fight wouldn't do much good. Imagining them, _him_ ripping the metal doors apart with his bare hands, it made me shake my head slowly in understanding. Jacob nodded, handing me a helmet to protect my head. I smiled wryly, understanding the irony in putting on the safety helmet. Jacob laughed and kick started his motorcycle, the roaring strange in the otherwise too silent courtyard.

As if on cue from the motorcycle's roar, the doors flew open and out came two devastatingly beautiful men; their strides matched and even, their faces the only difference. Edward looked tense, eyes darting from Jacob to me, but Jasper's gold gaze was locked with mine, their coloration swirling dangerously with emotions I couldn't name. There was a dead silence as we all stared each other down, no noise uttered save the rumbling of the engine. Next to me Jacob was trembling slightly, shaking his head slowly.

"Come back inside, Alice." Jasper said slowly, words distinct and clipped, his head turning towards Jacob, but his gaze remaining on me. "We need to talk." He took a slight step towards us like he was trying to make a point, but next to me, Jacob let out a low growl of warning. Reacting at the same time, Edward and Jasper were suddenly in offensive crouches, Jasper leaning to the front, Edward leaning back like they already had a plan laid out. Their teeth were visible, fangs sharp and poised for death. I flinched at the thought, and unconsciously leaned towards Jacob. Fangs poised for death, human death…

They couldn't feel a thing…

"She's chosen what she wants, bloodsucker. Let her go." Jacob stood up from the bike, his towering stance dwarfing me even more than before. He shrugged his jacket off slowly, a sardonic grin in place. "Unless you want to do this here, which in that case, I think Sam would understand." His chuckle was drowned out by the hisses emitting from Jasper and Edward. I stepped back slowly, towards the bike. They seemed feral, beast like, predators trying to attack their prey. I shook my head at the thought, frowning. They killed. Vampires… they lived by the sustenance of blood. I was that prey. Jacob must be, what, the protector?

"Why are you doing this? We've done nothing wrong." Edward said angrily, suddenly standing up into a formal pose like he was trying to convey peace. His lip was still pulled up in a snarl, but his posture indicated that he didn't want to fight. Jasper on the other hand didn't seem to mind the idea of hurting Jacob, and he snarled, a rumbling growl Jacob's reply.

"She came out here to get away from you. Why make it worse?" Jacob smirked over at them, stepping away from the bike and setting the jacket on it. He looked like he was mentally prepping himself for a battle, and my throat tightened at the idea of him, Edward, or Jasper getting hurt. Werewolves… vampires… who was stronger? I couldn't say; I'd never seen anything like this before.

"Jasper, stop." Edward whispered after the only noise being the muted rain falling around us. Jasper was still low, hands splayed on the pavement for balance. His golden eyes burned holes though Jacob, and I felt worry pierce through the fear and frustration rushing through me.

"He's trying to take her away." Jasper hissed, head jerking slightly. I frowned, stepping back towards the bike, away from all of them. I couldn't deal with this; I wasn't ready to. Jacob seemed to notice, and he unhappily stepped back towards the idling bike slowly, grabbing his jacket hesitantly and pulling it over his shoulders.

"I'm not taking her away; she's chosen to leave." He retorted easily, and too fast for me to see, he was grabbing me, slamming me onto the bike as he flew on and gripped the handles, the tires squealing loudly as the engine strained, spinning us slightly before we were off, the wind jerking me back a little. I grabbed onto his waist, not wanting to fly away, and I turned back, slapping the visor over my helmet so I wouldn't go blind from the wind hitting me in the face. Behind us, and fading away quickly, was Jasper and Edward, Jasper struggling against Edward, one arm outstretched.

I hope I was just imagining the look of pain on his face as we turned a corner and they disappeared completely.

* * *

The drive didn't take too long. Jacob also seemed to enjoy driving fast, and before I knew it we were going down a long dirt road, trees lining us on both sides and the overcast sky giving me the feeling of being boxed in. I held onto his waist, not bothering to try to talk to him now; I had a feeling we would be able to talk once we got to wherever we were going. My mind was still racing with the thoughts of everything that I had just found out. Mainly that the guy I couldn't help but not hate was a blood drinking vampire. His whole family, for that matter. Meaning Carlisle, the doctor that I've begun to respect and admire had to be one too. Did he drink the blood of his patients? I groped for my neck, trying to remember ever feeling like I had passed out from blood loss. Thankfully, my skin was bite free.

As we turned through a small down (most likely the reservation) I noticed how people would smile at us as we sped past. It was like they knew who we were and liked us. Jacob waved every now and then to the passerby, and I knew they were waving specifically at him, not me. They probably were wondering who I was. I tried looking into their futures in vain, knowing that as long as Jacob was around, I would be blocked from that part of me.

A small house grew into view, the paint fading but pleasant looking, a semi-wraparound porch holding a few rocking chairs and a man in a wheelchair. In the doorway stood a man with a strange stare in his eyes. It was mixed between anger and begrudging respect. He looked like an older, less bulky Jacob with the same hard lines around his eyes and the same hair. His relaxed pose as he leaned against the doorway was a stark contrast to the rest of him.

As Jacob cut the engine, the lack of a roaring buzz was strange to me, and I shook my head to get the ringing out of my ears. Dropping from the motorcycle, I pulled off the helmet and pulled my hood up as the rain picked up slightly, swirling around with the mud at my feet. It definitely wasn't a good idea for ballet flats today. Jacob stood up, taking off his jacket and tossing it carelessly onto the bike before casually putting a comforting hand on my shoulder, his eyes saying more than his facial expression could.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked with slight concern in his tone, frowning down at me. I shrugged, looking around the dirt driveway, the trees ominous and dark around me. Over head, the thunder rumbled threateningly.

"It's a lot to take in… but I still have questions." I reminded him, trying to fight down the fear that was snaking its way up my throat. It was too late to react like that now; I had to let the shock go. I've seen worse, right? Vampires… they were nothing compared to the cannibals in the asylum, right?

Somehow that wasn't really that reassuring.

"Jacob… what did you do?" The large Indian from the doorway began walking towards us, his saunter casual but like Jacob's, it also seemed animalistic. Jacob stepped slightly in front of me, half like a shield, half a warning to him, but he didn't stop.

"You brought her here, of all places? She's marked by not just that brand of bloodsucker, but the other type all together!" He snapped, getting closer with every step. He trembled slightly as a low growl underlined his words. Jacob's lips pulled back and a coughing bark erupted from his chest as a ripple ran over his shoulders. Something told me this wasn't good.

"Hey, it wasn't just his idea!" I jumped between them, ignoring the fact that a child height girl jumping between two six and a half feet men would hardly be intimidating, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to get any answers just standing there doing nothing. Jabbing a finger at the smaller guy, I poked him in the chest. "I decided to come, I have some questions, and I demand answers! This is involving me whether you like it or not, so don't start in on him!" I pushed him with my good hand, remembering hurting my other hand when I used it for aid, but it didn't seem to help. The guy just stared down at me, eyebrows raised like he was amused a fly was trying to hurt him.

"He was ordered not to say a word." He said coolly, brushing my arm away like a cobweb. I rolled my eyes, turning back to Jacob to see his glower matching the one growing on the other guy's face.

"It wasn't just about that and you know it." Jacob said slowly, a snarl distorting his words slightly. Without looking down at me, he reached out and grabbed my shoulder, wrenching me back behind him. Letting out a yelp of surprise, I stumbled behind him, indignant.

"He wouldn't do anything with innocents around." The other guy pointed out, jerking his chin out. Jacob snorted.

"He was there in the woods yesterday with me. If he'd get that close, he'd damn the innocents just for her." His voice sounded slightly cocky, but his words were like a cold slap.

"Wait, why were you were in the woods yesterday with me and Jasper?" I demanded, stepping a little around him to look him in the eyes. Jacob glanced down at me, shrugging.

"It was necessary." He said indifferently. I didn't like the way this Jacob was talking. In front of this other guy, he was cool, authoritative, and callous. Not the Jacob I had first become friends with.

"Necessary?!" I half shrieked, and they both winced at my pitch. "How was it necessary to-"

"Jacob you idiot!" There was another woman's voice, and we all turned to see a slight female stalking towards us, dark hair billowing behind her. She wore a simple tank top and baggy shorts, no shoes and her wild hair looked tangled in the wind. If she didn't look so livid, she'd really pretty. Behind her walked two other Indian boys, their height and build making them seem like Jacob and the boy in front of me.

"Leah, don't start. I'm not in the mood for your P.M.S." Jacob's trembling increased slightly, and I reached out slightly in concern. It couldn't be healthy to be shaking all the time. As I did so though, the guy who had first let into Jacob grabbed me, pulling me away sharply against my shout of protest. The girl, Leah apparently, let out a bark of laughter, a ripple rolling down her body slightly.

"You're so stupid! Why did you have to involve a human?" She demanded, dropping to her knees as another tremble made her hands uncontrollably grip the ground. Jacob let out a snarl in response to her actions that seemed against her will. I fought against the boy who was still holding me away, but it was like he didn't feel it as he backed up slightly. His trembling had stopped, and all I could feel was the heat radiating off of him the same way it did Jacob.

"I said shut up Leah." Jacob was clenching his fists, his glare for the girl who was shaking her head, trying to get back up onto her feet. The two boys who had followed her didn't bother helping; one looked on with anticipation while the other stared indifferently.

"Oh yeah, defend the human girl! You never look out for the pack!" She said through gritted teeth, shaking her head. A roar of anger ripped from Jacob's chest and suddenly he was jumping in the air, one second a human diving towards the girl and then in the blink of an eye a russet colored wolf was landing on top of a smaller grey wolf, the growls and howls of anger coming from the tangle of fur. The boy who had grabbed me dropped me suddenly, running towards the massive animals with a purpose. One long ripple ran the length of his back before there was a sickening ripping noise and a midnight black wolf bounded towards them, running into them and pushing them apart. The yips and snapping noise of jaws clamping together raised a cacophony of noise and still the two Indian boys watched, one of them shaking slightly but otherwise still. His counterpart looked eager to join the fray, but he made no motion to.

It was… amazing. They were so fierce, so massive, the sheer size enough to made someone take second or third glances at them, but the way they moved was so graceful, every motion with a purpose and poise. The russet one, Jacob I was realizing, had to be the largest yet the more smooth motioned of the three. The black one was not far behind him, though upon close inspection he was a little smaller. The grey one seemed weaker compared to them, but she made up for it in aggression. She snapped past the black one's coat, her tail twitching in agitation. Jacob was crouched, ready to spring. The black one gave a low warning growl, and then there was silence.

I couldn't help it; I stared. It was like an entire conversation was going on between them; their eyes all turned towards each other though none of them made much more sound than a low whimper or snort. The black one seemed like the leader, his pose between them like a mediator even though the russet one seemed more likely to be the alpha. Jacob… the russet one… an alpha? I shook my head, not even able to tell how the outcome would be. I was beginning to miss my seer capabilities.

The wolves suddenly moved, taking off towards the woods at a slow canter, the black ahead of the copper and the grey. Unaware of what I was doing, I stood up and took a few steps after them, confused. What would I do now that Jacob was leaving?  
"You don't want to go after them. They're changing back, and it's not like we have clothes morphed onto our skins." One of the silent boys decided to talk now, making me whirl around to face them, eyes wide. He was the slightly shorter of the two, more barrel chested and stockier. His muscles were still just as big and his eyes had the same dark look to them. He must be a werewolf too.

"What do I do now?" I asked, surprised to find my throat dry. Clearing it, I shook my head. "I mean, until they get back?" The taller one of the two laughed.

"She's got a stronger stomach than Marie did. She just about threw up when you jumped at Jacob." He laughed, shaking his head and nodding towards the house to indicate I should go in. Frowning, I stared at him instead of turning to go to the house.

"Marie knows about this?" I asked in disbelief. And yet… it made sense. When Jacob and Carlisle saw each other… it was like they were enemies. The shaking, the glares… it clicked. Marie was trying to distract him so he didn't transform. That's why his temper should stay in check. The way he lunged at the girl, Leah… it was surreal.

"Of course she knows. Ever since he imprinted on her, she knows everything." The shorter one rolled his eyes and spat on the ground. "Jacob's just letting everyone in on this like it's a party." He added, a slight tremble making his hands shake. The other one laughed brightly, turning towards his annoyed friend.

"Can you blame him? Ten bucks he nicked both Sam and Leah." He said, sticking his hand out. The shorter one laughed darkly.

"You're on. You owe me twenty since the last match we had. I don't forget these things, Jared." He said, turning towards the house. The taller boy now had a name, Jared. And the black wolf must be Sam? I shook my head; this was a lot to take in.

"I won that bet and you know it. Let's up it then… thirty that he nicks them both and comes back unscratched." Jared nodded along with his words, an easy smile adorning his tanned face. Walking towards me, he nudged me towards the house and I followed him, ignoring the trembling boy next to me. He seemed more volatile than the others, besides Leah. Her exotic eyes filled with rage flashed through my mind.

"And throw in another ten saying she'll go into shock soon." The short guy added gruffly, giving a chuckle. I looked over at him angrily.

"I won't go into shock." I grumbled, picking up my pace to get near Jared. Jared laughed again, walking up the steps and towards the man in the wheelchair.

"Good sport, right Billy?" He asked, dipping his head in respect. The man in the wheelchair nodded, smiling up at them.

"Food's in the kitchen." He replied, shaking hands with the short one before stopping me with a surprisingly sturdy hand. I looked down at him, feeling weird to actually look down on someone.

"My name's Billy Black. I'm Jacob's dad." He stuck a hand out and I shook it hesitantly, not exactly sure where he stood with me knowing the secret. Was he upset like Leah obviously was?

"I'm Alice. Sorry about all of this." I managed to say, nodding towards where a few strips of cloth lay on the ground dejectedly. My eyebrows rose when I realized it was the remnants of their clothing. As if reading my mind, Billy laughed.

"Oh, this? Happens all the time. He's not getting another pair of shorts though; he'll have to wear sweats from now on." Billy muttered the last part under his breath, and feeling awkward I sat on the rocking chair next to him. My stomach wasn't nauseous, but it felt like a rock had fallen in it. I had to think this through before I went into shock like the short guy expected me to.

"So they're all… werewolves." I said in the silence, glancing at the content man next to me. The words felt funny on my lips, like I was talking about a movie or a book, but deep down I knew it was true. What else could that be? And yet… saying it out loud made it suddenly, actually real. I could pass it off in my head, but now… I was accepting it.

"Most of them. You'll meet almost all of them soon enough." Billy eyed me speculatively. "You're not going to get sick, are you." It wasn't a question, and I realized he was right. I didn't feel like I was going to throw up, but it was still like walking unsteadily on water. I felt like I was spinning in circles, my mind trying to fathom mystical creatures come to life. And yet… in a way, it was ok. Because of what I could do, what others in the asylum could do, it wasn't like I couldn't believe it.

"And the Cullens… are vampires." I didn't like how vampires rolled off of my tongue like a spiked ball, and Billy seemed to notice that.

"You can accept this a bit better than that idea." He chuckled, wheeling his chair towards a specific direction. I looked over to see a fully clothed Jacob, Leah, and Sam walking toward us, Jacob more at ease than before, and Sam carefully watching a sullen Leah.

"I guess it's because I don't want to wrap my head around them… living on others death." I said slowly, looking up to meet Jacob's dark eyes as he came right up to me, smiling cockily. Billy grunted something and leaned over towards Sam.

"There needs to be some semblance of explanation." He said to the only shirtless one amongst them. Jacob wore a hoodie and sweat pants and thankfully Leah was fully covered. Sam nodded, glancing towards me warily.

"You had some questions?" He said with raised eyebrows. I nodded, not wanting to speak. His transformation kept running through my mind right along with Jacob's and Leah's, the pictures even stronger for some reason. Maybe because I didn't want to see it? Jacob sat down next to me, his presence making me feel a little bit better. I knew he wouldn't let Leah get near me. The girl in question was sitting on the porch's rail, her legs kicking out jerkily in agitation.

"We should just explain things, and then you ask what you need to know specifically." Sam stated before he began pacing. I didn't voice any disagreement, so he began talking slowly, making sure I got it all. "From what you just saw a minute ago, I'm sure you've gathered what we are." His voice was calm, a leader's voice, but he didn't seem the type for details. "We aren't like the Hollywood werewolves with the full moon and crazy mind kind of thing. We transform under stress or anger, or to protect something. It may sound fun, or cool, but it's dangerous. You saw how fast Jacob phased to get to Leah, and it can be harmful to get too close."

"Which is why you pulled me away." I cut in, nodding. Hearing it said factually like it was simple everyday stuff was better than witnessing it, and I welcomed the change. Jacob nodded, standing up to be next to Sam. As he leaned against the rail, Leah growled, and he pushed her, sending her flipping over the rail and onto the ground where she landed on all fours. Smirking, Jacob didn't glance her way. Standing up and muttering something vicious under her breath, she stomped into the house.

"Werewolves were made to stop one thing." Jacob said smoothly, not acknowledging that anything had happened. Beside him Sam was hiding a smirk, and failing. "You call them vampires, but we refer to them as bloodsuckers, name a self-defining thing. The Cullens, as you've figured out, are one and the same." A cold feeling engulfed my stomach, but I focused on his words and not the feeling. Just to spite the short guy, I wouldn't get sick.

"They aren't like other vampires though. They drink the blood of animals, making them not as dangerous." Jacob pretended not to notice my small episode where I grabbed my stomach uneasily. Even though he said they didn't kill humans… it wouldn't just stop the temptation, would it?

"They're still dangerous though." Sam's eyes cut toward Jacob. "They can slip up if the temptation is too great. Which is why when the blond haired one showed a little too much interest in you-"

"You guys warned me away." I finished for him, nodding. It made sense though, a little. The first day of class, him glaring at me, anger burning in his beautiful eyes; it clicked. The icy feeling got worse as I realized that when he was introducing himself to me in class… it must have been him trying to convince me to leave with him so he could kill me. The lump in my throat grew larger.

"You didn't listen though." Sam reminded me, and Jacob laughed.

"She's more stubborn than me." He said almost sounding like he was proud of that fact.

"Which could have gotten you killed. We're here to protect the people, and we can't if you're running off with them into the woods or driving around with them like they're your friends." Sam seemed gruffer sounding at the end, like the idea of vampires having human friends was personally offensive. And yet… it was weird to think of them as killers. Bella seemed nothing but nice, and Carlisle was too caring and compassionate to just murder someone. I reached into my pocket, feeling the metal bullet that I still had, my fingers tracing the outlines of it. They couldn't all be bad, could they? I voiced that opinion.

"The Cullens aren't necessarily the worst kind you could find." Sam agreed, albeit reluctantly. His teeth were slightly bared as if he'd never admitted that to anyone before. "We have a treaty with them saying they can't come onto our grounds or bite anyone, or we'll attack. Up until now none of them had even taken interest in any humans, but once they did we had to meet to lay the law down again." Jacob laughed a little coldly at the words.

"You were in the hospital by then, and we weren't sure if you'd been bitten or not. Their leader, Carlisle was watching over you, why not hide the bite marks? The blond one wasn't at the meeting either, and none of the Cullens knew where he was." I jumped up suddenly, a realization hitting me full in the chest.

"So he was never in a coma?!" I half yelled, angry. Sam and Jacob exchanged looked, both amused but wary. I on the other hand was angry. I had been so worried that I had killed him, and he wasn't even in the hospital?!

"He wasn't even hurt, Alice. They don't get hurt from trivial things like a car crash; you and Marie were the only problems. Mostly you since he was holding you together, trying not to bite you. Marie said from her standpoint he was doing all he could not to. Surprising since he's a bloodsucker." Sam rolled his eyes at the thought of a vampire trying not to kill, and I shuddered at the thought of him almost biting me. Had death really been that close? It always had been; it was always in the back of my mind whenever I was around him.

"What would happen if he had bitten me?" I asked after a slight moment of silence. Jacob let out a bark of laughter that sounded malicious.

"They would be ripped to pieces." He said, punching his fist into his hand for emphasis. Sick to picture, but not what I meant. Sam understood my point though.

"If he drank you dry, you'd die, but if he could find the self control to pull away, you'd become one of them." He informed me, each word distinct and like a sucker punch to the gut. I'd be like that… perfect, hard skinned, cold, gold eyes, musical voice… surreal. Born to kill… or however their new life began. Were they "born"? Or their new life… if you could call it a life.

"So what happens now?" I asked, walking over to where they stood. Sam seemed shocked at my actions, but Jacob seemed relieved. The short guy was going to lose ten dollars soon, I thought to myself.

"Aren't you the least bit shocked?" Sam asked incredulously, making me laugh.

"At the insane asylum, they once brought in a kid covered in blood. It was all over his face, all over his mouth. He was screaming about how blood was life, and when I asked the nurse, she said that he had attacked his friends, trying to drink their blood. He wasn't a vampire, but his mind was warped into thinking he was." I folded my arms, wincing at the memory of this dark eyes rolling satanically around his head, fingers crooked like claws as he fought against two orderlies, eyes focusing finally on me, the only child in the hallway. He had grinned at me, reddish pink teeth jumping out at me. I shuddered.

_"They're out there, you know." He told me, staring at the wall. I looked at the wall too, not wanting to glance over at him. We were both being taken to see the head doctor to see if our treatments were working, and if there was talking, we'd get in trouble. _

_"What's out there?" I asked, frowning. The medicine was pushing against my mind, trying to yank me away from any thoughts too deep for simple 'yes ma'am' or 'no ma'am' but I fought. That's all you could do in the asylum; fight as hard as you could. _

_"People like me; people who drink blood." He said easily, not at all bothered by the straight jacket that wrapped him up tight. He swung his slippered feet back and forth slowly, calmly. He must be fighting the medicine too. "They live in secret though. They drink blood where no one can see." I shook my head slowly, making sure the nurse didn't see._

_"Dr. Brandon says that's not true; you just think it is." I told him, folding my arms around my torso to hold my hurting heart. The boy let out a low chuckle, and I imagined his face bleak, confused, but angry too._

_"He tells you that you can't see the future too, but do you believe that?" He asked me in a knowing voice. I turned to look at him, frowning. How could he know about my ability? He was locked up tighter than I was sometimes. _

_"No." I said firmly, returning his dark eyed stare. His eyes scared me, I realized. They were devoid of anything but a harsh, solid truth. He truly believed in these people who drank blood, and the fact that there was no uncertainty in his haunted gaze made me want to run away. I didn't though; where would I run? _

_"You keep your faith, I'll keep mine." He sighed, leaning back and tugging lightly on his jacket. It was snug and tight against him, looking painful. "They'll come to spring me soon, and I'll be just like them." He giggled softly, teeth bared. _

"We can't let you go back to Forks." Sam said declaratively, punching his hand to make a point. I looked up at him, not really putting together his words. My mind was still back in that time, that boy, those words. Had he meant that vampires would come to change him? What had he really meant? Was it the ravings of an "insane" youth, or the harsh truth? I shrugged, feeling far, far away from the situation at hand.

"What are you going to tell my parents?" I asked hollowly, not really realizing that I was talking. Sam and Jacob both shifted awkwardly.

"The school thinks you had a breakdown and you ran off into the woods. They're combing through the forests right now, and we've alerted them that we're looking for you, but we don't think we'll find you here. It's not safe for you to be in Forks right now, not with the way things are." Billy finally spoke for them, his gravelly voice oddly reassuring with everything. And older man like him didn't seem like a liar, but his words shook me from my daze.

"Wait, so I'm supposed to just stay here?!" I cried, standing up again and whirling to a slightly sheepish Jacob. Sam didn't seem to apologetic though. He merely raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"It's what happens when you dabble with bloodsuckers." He informed me, a little coldly, suddenly turning around and walking away. I stared after him, slightly shocked, but I also felt a little pity for him. Maybe it was Sam that had the legends thrust upon him? I shook my head and looked back at Jacob who seemed a little uncomfortable.

"So how long am I here for?" I asked dryly, leaning against the rail to look towards the forest. It wouldn't do good to complain, and I was sure running from werewolves wouldn't bode well. Sam was disappearing into the shadows quickly, the darkness swallowing him up eagerly. There was a crash in the kitchen, followed by several guffaws of laughter and someone's indignant voice. Billy propelled himself into the house, grumbling under his breath about not breaking another table.

"I'm not sure… I'm sorry, you know? I tried to keep you out of this, but with everything that was panning out…" His husky voice trailed off and I saw him shrug his massive shoulders.

"Is it so bad that I was friends with him?" I asked skeptically, shaking my head dazedly. I wasn't sure this whole thing was sinking in the way he expected it to. I didn't know how I was able to take everything so calmly; shouldn't I be freaking out? And yet… none of the Cullens had ever given me reason to think them anything close to normal, and neither did Jacob. Maybe because of the asylum, I was desensitized? I couldn't say.

"Is that what you called it?" He scoffed, but I looked over at him, putting on my best glare. He was instantly silenced, eyes wide.

"You know, for a short, pixie like thing you're kind of terrifying." He muttered, grabbing my arm to pull me into his house. I followed but not before tossing one last look over my shoulder to the woods beyond. Overhead, the thunder rumbled and the wind picked up a little, twisting and churning, much like the confusion ravaging my heart.

* * *

"So you phase because they're here?" I asked softly, curled up in an afghan in Jacob's garage. Outside the rain pattered against the tin roof, but as Jacob puttered around his garage silently and gave off his strange heat, I was relatively warm. After meeting the rest of the pack –Paul owed Jared forty dollars; apparently Jacob not only 'nicked' Leah, but Sam's leg had a huge gash- I was given a small plate of eggs and bacon before being ushered into their front room to eat. Jacob had given me the remote and full access to his TV, but I wasn't interested. I don't think the TV and all of its fictional glory could ever captivate me again. I had promptly moved so I could see the werewolves interact as humans. There had to be some traits they carried on as humans, right?

Their eating habits were like dogs, at least.

They were also like one big, happy family. They joked, jostled, laughed, and traded tales like nothing was wrong, like the human in the front room wasn't an apparent "target" by one of the Cullens. I guess Jacob had told them to let me be, and I was glad they listened. It was nice to see that though something bad had happened to all of them, they hadn't succumbed to it.

"Our blood makes us. It's a defense against our enemies from back then." He explained, grabbing a wrench. Nodding, I watched him work the engine, hardly needing any light or strength. He seemed perfectly fine without any help, much to my disappointment. I loved cars. The one he was currently working on was a simple Toyota camry, but he was fixing up the engine for a guy on the reservation who needed it. I shook my head; not everyone could have their own Porsche. Wait, my Porsche…

"What's going to happen to my car?!" I gasped, jerking up from my slight stupor, my high pitched voice making him cringe and jump slightly, backing away from me slowly like I was a bomb.

"I guess they took it back to your house." He said with a frown on his face, eyes sparkling despite his best effort to keep a nonchalant air. I glared accordingly, waiting for him to understand that now not only was I being held half hostage at a werewolf's house, but my car was gone, and I couldn't see it because the entire Fork's population thought that I was running through the woods like a demon. Sighing, I feel back into the blanket, shaking my head. I would have to find a way to get along with not as nice, not as fast… not as smooth… cars. I could do that; it was better than dying, right?

My heart panged lightly, pulling me from thoughts about my car and back to Jasper. Jacob said that he would have killed me eventually; the temptation would have been too great. But it was hard to think of Jasper as a monster. He even though his actions moved too fast to keep up with (I now had substantial reasoning for said actions) he was at the same time kind… and caring. He honestly was concerned for me yesterday. And maybe, just maybe he didn't kiss me back because of the temptation? I fervently hoped so.

How was I going to fix this then? Something about him, about who he was pulled me in, and I couldn't help the feeling of happiness around him. I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to be with him, even now. It was like something was pulling me, egging me to try to see him. Was that really that bad? He'd held up nicely before now, what was one more time?

"So tell me," Jacob pulled himself up and leaned in slightly through the side window so I could hear. "Why did you hang out with him? He was a jerk to you, why not brush him off?" I laughed, making his frown deepen slightly.

"Compared to other students, his attitude was hardly anything to cry about." I shrugged nonchalantly, focusing on the way the rain hit the roof than the perturbed stare Jacob was giving me. He seemed to be troubled by the look on my face, and I glanced over at the mirror on the car door to see what he was upset about. Slightly glazed eyes like I was tired, a half smile on my pale face, tilted eyebrows; what was the deal?

"Do you like him?" He asked me suspiciously, opening the door and climbing in. The weight of the car tilted slightly as he settled himself in.

"No!" I shook my head, laughing despite myself. "What makes you say that?" I couldn't help but turn a little red at the thought of us actually ever being together like that, but then Jacob started shaking slightly. Remembering the warning Sam had given me earlier, I stepped out of the car and closed the door, saying softly, "Calm down, Jacob," As I did so. He shook his head slowly, clenching his fists.

"I can see it on your face; you like that bloodsucker." He said under his breath, turning angry eyes to me. I glared back accordingly. Was it his business?

"Why, jealous?" I snapped, taking a step back as he climbed out of the truck to walk slowly towards me. Suddenly, he laughed, the booming sound filling the garage easily and making my bones rattle. His smile was large and inviting, the harsh lines of his face gone. It was like he was two different people.

"You think that's the reason?" He asked me, all traces of anger gone.

"No, but it's the only thing that would get you to calm down. Why, what's so funny?" I said over his chuckles, not hearing the slight scraping sound of rocks clacking together. Jacob did, and taking a deep breath his smile grew.

"You'll see in a second." He told me, and then a brown haired girl slipped and slid over to us, startling me and making Jacob's smile-if possible-grow more. Marie fell awkwardly against him, bright brown eyes turned towards me curiously.

"Hey Alice, Billy said I should come and talk to you and Jacob." She said quietly, giving Jacob a light hug before turning her entire attention to me. She was dressed in Forks' greatest apparel, a raincoat and rubber boots. Well, one rubber boot. The other was in a thick brace, the puffy splint made of a waterproof canvas. I swung my cast halfheartedly.

"The secret's out." I said in a faux bright voice, looking over at Jacob questioningly. Marie looked up at Jacob as well, eyes wide and surprised. Jacob shrugged.

"Things were getting complicated, and we had to get her out of it." He explained, eyes gazing adoringly down at her. He really did love her, I realized. Which explains his laughter when I asked if he was jealous. It wasn't that I thought he had been, but it had been enough to detour him from his anger.

"That's what you meant." I said out loud, nodding. Jacob laughed brightly and shook his head.

"Even better. I've imprinted." He said proudly, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer. My eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Like a baby duck?" I asked in disbelief. Marie turned bright red, looking down at the ground. Jacob just laughed.

"Even better." He declared.

* * *

"So where am I going to stay?" I pulled the overly large hoodie over my head, groping for the top of it and pulling my neck through the opening. It fell down to a little below my knees, but it would have to do for a makeshift pajama shirt until Jacob could sneak into my house and get me new clothes. Jacob, Marie, Sam, and a boy by the name of Quil were in the room with me, Jacob rummaging for a quilt for me to sleep with, Marie sitting next to me calmly, Sam pacing listlessly in front of me, and Billy and Quil sitting near the TV. I watched the harmonious movements of the household with little envy, knowing I'd be with this for awhile. It would be nice to see a normal house (in a manner of speaking) function like a family.

"You'll stay here for tonight, and then you'll stay at Marie's for awhile." Sam stopped pacing for a second, deep in thought. Looking over at Quil, he said authoritatively, "Go and check with Leah and Seth to see how things are going there." Quil nodded before turning and loping out of the front door quietly, giving me a slightly pitying look as he did so. They all seemed to be under the impression that Jasper had been hypnotizing me into being his "friend".

"Why would I move around like that?" I asked, folding my arms over the lumpy hoodie, the words, "Washington University" scrawled across it in large, thick letters.

"If we can keep your scent in multiple places it will confuse him." Sam replied, making me frown. What did he mean? I wracked my brains, trying in vain to see into the future, to see what his point was, but to no avail. It was as blocked from me as any other time Jacob was around.

"Do you think he'd come after me?" I asked incredulously, unable to picture Jasper trying to track me or something. He seemed the type to take it silently, but not the type to try to kidnap me or something. He wasn't evil, he couldn't be. Looking up at them, I almost missed the pointed look Jacob gave Sam, as if trying to convey a different message entirely. Marie also sported the perturbed stare.

"We… don't know what he'll do." Sam said, glancing out of the doorway. "But we're going to keep things up in the air until we do." Finally deciding something, he turned towards the door, motioning for Jacob to follow. "Get some sleep, you'll need it." He said, disappearing from the room silently. Jacob tossed me a wink before following as well.

"I'll leave you two here, don't worry about making a mess or anything." Billy nodded politely and wheeled out of the room, expertly dodging the couch and rolling down the hall to his room. Marie smiled at me and grabbed a blanket, tossing me an extra one before snuggling down.

"I'm tired, aren't you?" She asked pointedly, closing her eyes to show me just how "tired" she was. Frowning, I wanted to disagree, but I didn't. Something said for me to wait it out and see what happened.

"How did you meet Jacob?" I asked curiously, thinking back to the way he looked at her. If a guy ever looked at me like that, I don't know what I'd do. It was adoration, disbelief, respect, passion, and a love so strong it made my heart ache.

"We've grown up together for as long as I can really remember." Marie said softly, a hint of a smile in her voice. "We did everything together… and I knew he liked me, but I just saw him as a friend." A funny note hit her tone, and I leaned up on my elbows to look over at her dark form.

"Did you always know he was a werewolf?" I asked when her voice drifted slightly.

"Oh no, he's only been this way for a few years." She laughed as I gave a snort of disbelief. "Hard to believe, but he used to be skinnier, clumsier, and… well, happier." I shook my head, trying to picture the awkward adolescent years on a person like Jacob Black. Sometimes, when he smiled I could believe it, but he was so large, scarily graceful, and there seemed to be a permanent edge to him. "When he did transform, he just cut contacts completely. When… whenever I called, Billy would say he was out with his new friends, Sam's group. I knew something had to be off then; Jacob hated Sam and his group. He called them a cult. When I came over to ask him though… things got ugly. I left seeing a Jacob I had never known, and never thought could exist.

That night though, he nearly broke my window jumping through it. He was trying to tell me, he was so upset, and he kept shaking…" Her voice trailed off, and I nodded sympathetically, picturing him like he had been in my house, all towering and angry, pacing her room as she stared wide eyed on her bed. "It was daunting, but I guess I knew there had to be something strange going on anyway for him to suddenly follow Sam around like a puppy dog. The thought of him leaving me… was painful. I hadn't realized I was in love with him until he stopped… until he said we couldn't even be friends." I didn't want to think about how it felt when Jasper said we shouldn't be friends.

"When I figured it out, he and Paul got into it, and that was the first time I ever saw them transform. Sam had to tackle me to the ground to stop Paul from doing anything since he was so close when he transformed… and, we've been like this ever since. He said he had been horrible to me, and me nearly getting hurt made him go crazy. He's been trying to make it up to me ever since, even though I try to make him stop." Her words were sweet and shy, not wanting to say too much but knowing I'd ask anyway. I had misjudged her actions in the hospital. I had said she was oblivious to his attentions, but it was better than ignoring his attentions; she was trying to divert his guilt. Marie was just one of those good people that didn't want others suffering.

"I'm tired, aren't you?" She asked me after a few moments of silence. I knew better than to disagree.

"Yeah, it's been a long day." I replied, letting out a quiet yawn. Closing my eyes as well, I slowed down my breathing, and listened for her slow breath to hint at her sleep. It took about twenty minutes until she finally drifted off, moving around to a more natural position, but I stayed wide awake, eyes staring up at the ceiling. I didn't know when they'd come back, but I wasn't taking any chances. Though I had learned a lot today, I still had more I wanted to know, and I wasn't going to let it slip past me.

Grumbling under my breath, I sat still and waited for my chance.

* * *

I didn't have to wait for too long. There was a whisper of air in the hallway, and the moonlight bathed the walls pearly white. I turned over in my "sleep", mumbling incoherently under my breath and taking another slow, even breath.

"There, they're safe, can we go now?" Leah's voice was angry and annoyed, and I internally glared. I kept still, and kept my breathing even, even though I wanted to jerk around in surprise at their silent entrance into the house.

"I just wanted to check on them." Jacob replied, and I heard the sink run as something was filled up with water.

"We don't want to be late." Sam's voice grated on my nerves, and I forced the frown from my face. He was the sneakiest with his intentions, and I knew he was hiding something. Where were they going that they'd be late?

"We'll get there when we get there, the bloodsuckers can wait." Leah snarled under her breath.

"Jacob, you know what to do, right?" Sam ignored Leah's comment.

"We give them the information, we tell them the deal, and then we leave. I don't want the stupid bloodsuckers knowing anything more about Alice." Jacob said in subdued tones that hinted at excitement. I clenched my fists in victory under the blankets, happy that they were inadvertently telling me everything. Why were they going to visit the Cullens though?

"Where are we meeting them?" Leah asked curiously.

"Right at the border line. Jacob and I will walk in human form so they have someone to talk to face to face." I frowned; how was I going to get somewhere I'd never heard of? The border to what?

"We need to go." There was a scraping of chairs, and then the soft shuffle of feet before dead silence.

I counted to ten before sitting up and smiling victoriously. Standing up, I groped around for my shoes, finding them and yanking them on as quiet as I could. Standing up, I looked down at a sleeping Marie, her face troubled and kind even as she slept. Reaching into my pocket and feeling the metal bullet, I set my face into grim determination and I walked towards the door. Looking back at the warm, inviting blanket and then to the cooler outside, I gave a sigh before I began to follow them, a soft smirk playing about my mouth.

* * *

_So, yeah. I know for a fact Alice would follow them. That much I know. That devious little girl would not have just sat there, waiting for people to tell her things! Yeah... haha, like? Owned or failed? Only you can tell!!!_


	19. Solamente Para Ti

_Thanks so much for all of your reviews!! I know some of you didn't like how Alice ran, so for those who left anonymous questions, here's the responses. I hope I get them all!!_

_First off, she ran because of a few different reasons. :P Imagine you're falling for someone. Then, you find out he's a vampire, something designed to kill people like you. You can think in your head, oh yeah, he's a good guy, isn't he? But human instinct is to run. She went with Jacob because he was offering to give answers to questions. It was after that that she began questioning herself when she allowed herself to relax. It was then that she felt like things weren't right. So yeah, hope that clarifies!!_

_Also, Alice is too mischievous to NOT follow them! She's like this little time bomb of emotions, when she feels something, she acts on it unless she can see why not to. _

_Any other questions? Ask them in a review, and I'll try my best to respond to all of them! _

_Hope that clears that up, thanks for all of your thoughts and opinions!! They help me a lot!!_

_So, here we go. On with the show!_

_

* * *

__"Dr. Brandon… what's love?" I swung my legs back and forth, coloring a picture of DNA for my science lesson. Dr. Brandon looked at me strangely, eyebrows raised in shock. I don't think he expected me to ask that during a science class, of all things. _

_"Love is… difficult to explain, Alice." Dr. Brandon looked thoughtfully at me, glasses pinched between his fingers. "It's a weird feeling, and some would say it's almost painful because it's so strong. When repressed, it fights back, and when forgotten, it sneaks up on you. You'd do anything to see that person smile, and you'd do anything to keep them safe, even if it meant leaving them." He looked down at me, something sparking in his eyes I didn't like. _

_"What's it feel like?" I prodded when he didn't go on._

_"It feels different for different people. Some might feel over joyed at the thought of it, some might feel content, some might feel at peace… but love is never bad. You might think you love the wrong person, but you still love them. Even if they don't know it, you do." He sighed softly, looking down at my paper. "What brought this on?" He asked me. _

_"Nothing." I told him, looking down at the paper. He was right though; even if you think you love the wrong person, you still love them. I frowned and scribbled on the DNA paper._

_"Love is a feeling affected by everything around it. Sometimes, if given room to breathe and grow it can create something beautiful. If repressed, it can dwindle to loneliness or obsession. Let love grow Alice, and better yourself that way." He smiled slightly at those words, but the smile was sad. I nodded slowly, looking back down at my paper and coloring the bottom of the strand again, his words ringing in my head. _

_"You'd do anything for those you love. You might not even realize what you were doing until you did it." He added, looking at my paper and outlining the edges for a bolder effect. I looked up at him, surprised. He also looked surprised, eyes wide behind his glasses. _

_I don't think he realized what he was doing until he did it._

* * *

Following werewolves was difficult. Following them when they phased was accurately said to be impossible from the way Jacob talked. It was a good thing then that these two decided to walk as humans since they'd be staying that way. I stepped outside in time to see Jacob escape into the woods, and I went after them, trying to find a quieter route than I usually would have taken. As I hit the tree line, the darkness surrounding me was like a thick blanket that pressed against me, blinding me for a second. At least the moon gave me enough dull light to see the white sneakers Sam wore. Seeing a dirt path, I took that instead of the soggy paths around the trees, hoping that I could jump behind one just in case. The wind blew my hoodie backwards, helping hide my scent from them. At least now I wouldn't be caught as quick.

I had a lot to think about as I tried to follow them. What would I do when I got there? What would I say? How could I look in Jasper's face, knowing that I had hurt him? It was strange to say it, but I felt like I wanted to protect him from whatever Jacob and Sam had planned. Though Sam was the alpha, it was obvious Jacob was the born leader. He was bigger, faster, stronger… Sam seemed like he was doing this just for show. What were they going to do to Jasper? What were they planning? What all were they hiding from me? I trudged on, trying to keep my steps light and quick.

They moved quietly, but the woods around them were covered in noise that hid my footfalls. Birds flew past, away from them, away from where they were heading. Crickets screamed on the leaves, and nearby a rabbit skittered underfoot. The wind crashed the trees against one another, and it seemed to be enough noise to hide me. Jacob and Sam walked slowly, their steps in sync and equally silent with one another, their ease with the forest admirable. They were one with what they were cursed to be. I could relate to that.

I lost them a few times. They'd detour away from the path, and I'd struggle to find a silent walkway, losing them for minutes on end before I'd see a glimpse of the white sneakers. They were going somewhere deep and hidden in the forest, and I know I'd have to reveal myself eventually to find a way out of the woods alive. I felt sweat bead along the top of my hairline from the worry and buzz of adrenaline, but I merely brushed it away. I would find out the details whether they liked it or not; they couldn't hide things from me, not when it had to do with me. Not when it could hurt Jasper.

I don't know how long this went on. Time seemed to fly and freeze at the same time because of the energy pumping in my blood, and I was certain it was only ten minutes before they suddenly tensed, identical scowls adorning their faces. I slipped to the side of them, seeing a tree with multiple climbing limps. Hiking myself up with difficulty (my cast was not proper climbing material) to a semi-comfortable resting spot, I peered down at them. Surrounding them was close to ten different wolves rushing about, their masses reaching up close to Jacob's chest. They snuffled and growled, one of them whining softly, another barking in excitement. I watched avidly.

"We know the plan." Jacob said softly, bending on one knee to look a brown, sandy colored wolf in the face. The wolf let its jaw drop, tongue lolling in content happiness.

"And we'll detain the blond bloodsucker if he asks about Alice." Sam added, voice rough with implications. I froze at that, a sick feeling of anger building in my gut. They wouldn't really hurt him, would they?

"A relationship between bloodsucker and human is strictly murderous; it's not to be lain with romance and mystery. They kill humans, humans fear them. It's not supposed to anything more, or anything less." Sam told his pack, pulling himself up to full height. "To protect our land and the people in or surrounding it, we will stop any bloodsucker who thinks otherwise." The wolves began to howl, throwing their heads back and turning towards the moon in excitement, wagging their tails. I stared on with fear clouding my thoughts. He sounded so cold towards the Cullens, like they killed humans. He said they didn't, why did he have to be this way? Was it really that bad to be a vampire?

"It's because of them that we're this way." Jacob added as the howls died down. Sam nodded, hands trembling with desire to phase into a wolf. It looked like their resentment ran deep; they were werewolves because of the vampires, making them hate the vampires. It was understandable, but still heartbreaking. They were so bitter for something out of their own control.

And then, a low growl issued from a stone colored gray wolf, his ears laid back flat against his head, tail low as he crouched. Jacob looked up sharply, his glare becoming more pronounced as something came closer. Sam touched the gray wolf's head warningly, and with a low rumble in his mighty chest the gray wolf stopped growling loudly. His tail flicked in agitation. It was slightly hard to think of something like that being a human as well as a wolf, but seeing Sam and Jacob right there with them made it a little more real.

A low whine issued from a smaller wolf, and I stifled a gasp when the Cullens were suddenly right there in front of them, their pale skin standing out against the darkened gloom. Dr. Cullen was slightly in front, his face calm and peaceful, a stark contrast to his "children's" stares. Emmett, in all of his large, overbearing glory, seemed positively excited to be there, like he was anticipating something. Rosalie stood next to him, a glower ruining her gorgeous face and turning it strange. Edward seemed wary and worried; he stood right in front of a troubled Bella. Someone I assumed to be Carlisle's wife stood just behind Dr. Cullen, pretty light brown hair framing a heart shaped face. She was tall, leggy, and looked to be extremely sad but determined. And then… there was Jasper. He looked strange to me, someone so used to seeing him showing some sort of emotion. He looked… dead. There was no emotion on his perfect face, there was no life. He looked like someone had wiped him clean of feeling, of anything. The only thing suggesting otherwise was the shift in his weight that made it seem easier to jump to attack at any moment. I don't know why, but it hurt to see that. It hurt to see him have to resort to this.

"You requested a meeting?" Dr. Cullen's voice was curious and polite, nothing but detached kindness. Jacob folded his arms over his chest and nodded towards Sam whose hands were shaking slightly. All around him, the wolves were cringing and twitching like they were desperate to attack. I was worried they would, worried they'd try to hurt Jasper.

"As you're well aware, Alice found out your little secret." Sam said through clenched teeth, the sound more menacing than he probably meant. Jacob wasn't shaking as much as he was, and as if noticing that, Jacob put a hand on his alpha's arm, silently communicating with his eyes. Sam nodded before stepping slightly back to calm down.

"Yes, this we've been told." Carlisle said slowly, eyebrows coming together slightly.

"And you know fully well why this is trouble." Jacob said smoothly, jutting his chin out slightly. He looked more like a leader than Sam did, his actions held under tight control, not showing his instinct to attack. Jasper traded a look with Edward, who frowned.

"You gave her hints to that; it's your fault she found out in the first place." Edward retorted, raising an eyebrow. "You wanted her to know; why'd you do it?" He demanded in subdued tones. Nearby, Bella looked around apprehensively, eyeing the other wolves speculatively.

"There's another bloodsucker lurking around." Jacob informed them, and the reality struck me like a bucket of ice cold water in the face. Dr. Brandon… was a vampire?! He was just like them? It was true though; why wouldn't it be? His eyes, his perfect face, his soothing voice, his movements… he was a vampire. That's what's happened since I last saw him; he became something like them. Was he an animal drinker like the Cullens were? Or did he indulge in the sickening idea of killing humans? I shuddered at the idea.

"We know that you stupid bag of fleas; he's already talked to us." Rosalie's stunning voice was laced with venom that made me glare. She was verbally attacking them, and in response to that a silvery white wolf growled warningly. Emmett tensed happily, raising eyebrows challengingly.

"And it's the blondie to make the first blunder; sorry, you'll get it next time. Not the doctor, there's a different one running around. He's… stalking Alice." Jacob sounded sickened and angry, his nose wrinkling up to expose sharpened teeth. "I don't know who he is, but he's good at covering his traces and slipping away. He's after Alice, that much we're sure of. He was with her and your blondie over there in the woods yesterday." Edward looked over at Jasper who still hadn't let a word slip yet. His face was still blank, still void of emotion, and I frowned; what was wrong with him? I leaned in and tried not to succumb to the icy feeling entering my veins. There was another vampire running around, stalking me? My mind reeled with the implications; this was just too much to take in! Why were they all suddenly cropping up?

"They smell of her." Was all Jasper said, voice dead. Bella looked over at him worriedly, eyes sad, and Carlisle nodded slowly.

"Yeah, she's been with us." Sam said in a mocking tone, the words cold and cruel. Jasper flinched a little, as if struck, and Edward let out a low growl.

"We've smelled another vampire around, but not run into him. Are you sure he's after her?" Carlisle gave his sons a warning glance, cutting off any more noise from them. He moved, the motion fluid and graceful, making a brown wolf growl in anger. He stopped, making his arm reach towards them in exaggerated slowness now, a scrap of cloth in his hand. Tossing it towards Jacob, it fluttered in the breeze before he reached out and snatched it up. Leaning in to sniff it, Jacob let out a yelp and dropped it, falling to all fours and shaking roughly. Sam was at his side in an instant, reaching out and yanking him up, glaring at Carlisle accusingly.

"What did you do?" He demanded as Jacob rubbed at his nose angrily. Carlisle's eyebrows rose to his hairline and he walked towards them slowly, hands out in peace. At the smaller gray wolf's growl, he stopped and picked up the cloth.

"It was a patch of the nomadic vampire's clothing snagged on a tree." He said carefully, pocketing it. "I didn't know it was that potent, or I wouldn't have had you sniff it. Is it a similar likeness to the one you're talking about?"

"Y-yeah…" Jacob grunted, rubbing his nose once more before gaining control of himself.

"Where is she now?" Jasper asked suddenly, stepping up towards Carlisle. Edward followed him warily, as if scared he'd try to attack. Something in his voice called to me, told me to say something, anything. Quietly, hoping the wolf's growls would cover my trek, I began to lower myself from branch to branch. Sam let out a low laugh, matching Jacob's mocking chuckle. They were being horribly cruel to him, his eyes growing dangerous and wild as they laughed. Edward studied them for a second, frowning.

"She's at Jacob's house, sleeping over with a girl named Marie." He said quietly, and Jacob stopped his motions, glaring. Jasper's head jerked towards Edward, and I stopped moving. How did he know that? Edward smiled smugly.

"And you know you can't pass onto our territory to get her. She's safe there." Sam pointed out, much to Bella's annoyance. She snorted and folded her arms, the movement almost too fast to see. I began my descent from the tree, a little faster.

"How's she safe running around with a bunch of out of control wild dogs?" Jasper growled, taking a slight step towards them.

"No one was going to cross onto your land." Carlisle said soothingly, giving Jasper a pointed look. Jasper turned and stared at him, frowning. The first emotion all night, and it was a frown? I dropped down another branch.

"She's not going to be just an interesting toy for a bloodsucker to play with." Jacob said pointedly, raising his eyebrows. Jasper let out a low growl, glaring now. Dropping to the ground, my landing was muted by the growling and snapping of the wolves that had managed to remain relatively quiet until now. As they snarls, Emmett was suddenly poised into a fighting stance, along with Edward. Rosalie was rolling her eyes, and Carlisle was clearly upset by the suddenly tense atmosphere. Jasper was right in front, a weird noise coming from his throat that made my blood freeze. I began a slow inch around the tree.

"You guys are pathetic." Rosalie snapped, turning her full attention to them. "You think just because my brother can't seem to stay away from that little brat that he's going to hurt her? You really are a pack of mangy mutts." She looked back down at her fingernails, inspecting them.

"Rosalie, not helping." Carlisle said reproachfully, his voice drowned out as a growl ripped from Sam as he suddenly lurched to his knees, a ripping noise coming deep from within him before he exploded, a black wolf standing where Sam used to be. The large black wolf licked his lips, saliva dripping from long, sharp teeth. Rosalie hissed, placing herself right next to Emmett who was practically jumping with excitement.

"She's staying with us." Jacob snapped, clenching shaking hands. It was then that I felt anger rush through me slightly. Who was he to decide what happened to me? The only one with that choice was me. It was like his words were a reminder of what I used to be, a little girl locked up in an insane asylum. I couldn't make my own choices, but now I knew I wasn't crazy; I was my own person. And he wasn't taking that freedom away.

"I think I should be the one to decide that." I said calmly, walking around the tree and planting myself right in between the two groups. The wolf nearest to me stopped growling, a whining noise issuing from his mouth instead. Jacob just stared at me, shock apparent on his face. And Jasper looked so worried it spilled over into my feelings, making me a little dizzy. Why was he worried though? I was showing myself to help him, didn't he get that?

"Alice, how did you get here?" Jacob asked, pulling me slightly from my dazed staring match with Jasper. I tore my eyes away, planting my hands on my hips indignantly. How did he think I got here?

"I followed you." I said calmly, despite the rush of fear at the eyes of vampires and werewolves alike on me. "Which was kind of hard considering you kept changing your course. But I had to know what was really going on." I made my face seem impassive although I know Jasper was feeling the conflicting emotions raging beneath the surface. I didn't care what he was finding out about me; he knew more than anyone else did anyway. Seeing him so torn up though… it killed me. I couldn't let him feel that way. Next to him, Edward frowned.

"How did you know… you weren't asleep, were you." It wasn't a question, and feeling smug I nodded. Jasper cracked a sardonic smile. The black wolf, Sam, let out a low growl, and a few others added their two cents into the group, a cacophony of animalistic noises hurting my ears.

"It's my future." I said simply once the noise died down. Nearby, Rosalie snorted, folding her arms and rolling her eyes up to the moonlit sky. I ignored it, but when Jasper took one step towards me, I felt my emotions lighten slightly. I gave him a hesitant smile, hoping he'd get closer. All that mattered was him, the way he moved, the way he'd look at me like I was important to him…

A white wolf suddenly stepped between me and him, barring my advance. I looked down into the intelligent golden eyes of the werewolf, trying to convey my desire to be near to Jasper. I felt a slight tendril of anger spark at the wolf's refusal to move, and Jacob's voice pulled me from my indignant pose.

"Alice, we can't let you go with them." Jacob said quietly, disgust in his voice almost covering the indignation and slight regret. I turned on him suddenly, feeling the anger grow slightly.

"I don't think that should be your decision to make." I shot back, folding my arms. "You don't own me; you can't make laws that bind me. Where I go, I go because I want to." Nearby, Carlisle gave a soft breath of air, staring at me strangely. Was he guessing that half of my anger was directed a thousand miles away where an asylum locked anyone up that seemed strange? Jasper shifted near me, and I looked back at him.

"If he says I should stay, then I'll stay." I hardly realized what I was saying until it had popped out of my mouth, and when I said it I felt my skin turn slightly red in embarrassment. The wolf between us shifted uncomfortable, not happy being between a vampire and a human locked in the stare we were having. The wolves grew silent, waiting for his response as everyone's eyes turned to Jasper. He looked half in pain, frowning at me in a way that made my heart beat quicken. He wouldn't say no, would he? After the speech I just made, it would be cruel to make me go back to them.

"By our laws, we have to keep you away from him." Jacob said with a scowl, giving me his best look of authority. I shook my head, looking back at Jasper and pleading with my eyes to let me go with him. I couldn't stay here with them, didn't he know that? He still didn't move.

"Your laws are stupid." I said simply. The wolf between us cringed slightly at my words, pulling away a little, leaving the space between us open again. The wolf looked over at the large black wolf who was staring at Jasper, fury displayed in gold eyes. Jasper still didn't move, frowning at me with clear golden eyes.

"Alice, you have to come with us." Jacob reached for me, hand closing around my arm to pull me towards him.

"Don't touch her." There was a hiss of air and then Jasper was between Jacob and me, arms splayed out like a shield. Jacob's hand was knocked away, and there was a loud roar from the pack at the close proximity of a vampire. I peeked around Jasper's torso to see Jacob staring in shock and fury, a hand stopping a silver wolf from attacking. Jacob trembled violently.

"Don't you ever touch her." Jasper said again, and reaching blindly behind him, Jasper found my hand, and grabbed it gently. "I'll kill you if you try." Nudging me backwards, he began walking slowly, giving me time to find my footing as I was led back to the Cullen's side of the line, away from the wolves. I couldn't see where I was going, and as my foot caught on something, I stumbled back only to crash into something hard and marble like. Looking up, I saw Carlisle regarding me with a soft smile. Jasper stayed in front though, and his movements deadly and cold.

"We've discussed the treaty; we're leaving." Carlisle said softly, pulling me farther back from the invisible line.

"You can't take her." Jacob growled, positively seething.

"No one's going to bite her." Edward snapped as he stepped up near Jasper. Emmett let out a chuckle and slid close to his brothers.

"But if you'd like to take this to a whole new level, please, let's." Emmett added, sliding into a fighting stance. Carlisle backed me up even more as a snarl ripped from the core of the wolves.

"I wouldn't, if I were you." Edward said in low and dangerous tones. Next to him, Jasper twitched in anger. The growl grew louder, and Jacob let out a cold laugh.

"I would." He said as he lunged for Edward, exploding into a russet wolf as he did so.

* * *

_WHOO!! That was hard to write, you know that?! The right emotions, the right words... I think I butchered this chapter a little. Ok, a lot. I had to delete five different ideas to get to this, so please review and let me know what you think ok? _

_Thanks!!  
_


	20. Cubierto en Sangre

_Thanks so much for your feedback! There were so many reviews; it was insane!!! If I didn't respond, I'm sorry, but here's a few main questions I got:_

_First off, yes, the werewolves are being strict. But think of it this way; they don't have a Bella Swan to make them work around things. Bella is already a part of the Cullens, and Jacob's not tied to any of the vampires because of it! So, they have never had to work through things like that. They just think, "protect the human, at all costs". Is it annoying? Terribly so. But the character, Jacob, seemed to scream that he would still hate Edward, so I had to do something. Jacob couldn't stay calm all the time :D_

_Second, they others weren't attacking because Sam said not to. That will be explained in the next chapter, but I got a lot of questions saying that. _

_Also, Bella WILL be explained, just not now. She does have a past that will be told about; just wait!_

_So, sorry to take up so much time, but this chapter is in JASPER's POV!! :) I couldn't stay away; it called to me. It's got a few mysterious POV's, so just bare with me, they'll be explained soon!! Enjoy, and review!_

_

* * *

  
_

It was like being alive all over again.

The fury pounding a tattoo into my skin, demanding I fight for who I want most of all; the pain at seeing her drive away; the torture of losing someone I'd learned I now had to live for… it was excruciating. Edward was stopping me, once again, from the only thing I'd ever wanted. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, her hair, her personality, her pain, her _blood_; it sang to me. All of it. All of her.

What was I doing? Why was I letting her leave me? Why didn't I go after her? It wouldn't be so hard; if I caught them at the border, I could keep her from that mangy dog that smirked coolly at me, like he had won…

He wasn't the winner. I would earn Alice's trust, one step at a time if I had to. But I would never back down. As long as she was in the clutches of that out of control mongrel, I wouldn't rest. Didn't she realize that as she ran from one animal, she ran right into the arms of another, one with less control than even me?

"You have to let her go." Edward said calmly, jerking me back. I snarled something under my breath, turning to glare at him. Did he not understand? Did he not comprehend that in order for me to live, she had to as well?

I know how you're feeling, Jasper." Edward reminded me quietly, frowning. "But running after them isn't going to fix it. She just found out your biggest secret yet; give her time to let it sink in."

"She's in danger every moment she's with them." I said, turning away, towards the woods. Forget about schooling; I'd learned all I needed to learn years ago. The doors opened, and out Bella rushed, face panicked and worried as she took in the scene before us. I hardly took note of her; she was no threat.

"What happened?" She asked. Edward went over to her and hugged her tightly, making my heart ache. Did he have to do that? Edward gave of a slight tinge of regret, but he continued holding her, explaining what happened. Her face turned from one of horror to one of pity as Edward finished his tale. Turning to me, her face crumpled.

"I'm so sorry." She said, walking over and hugging me. I returned my sister's embrace, trying to fill the hollowness that almost consumed me as I thought of Alice. I couldn't let her stay with them; she'd get hurt. She was so fragile, so human…

"That's life." I replied to cover up my weakness. I couldn't let them see my like I was a brainless fool; I was Major Jasper Whitlock, and it was time to start acting like it. A reddish haze was filling the edges of my vision, but I forced the anger to curl into something usable, something stable enough to work with.

"I refuse to let her stay in their clutches." I told Edward, turning to give him my attention. He nodded, an arm around Bella. "But we can't plan this in the middle of the school yard. It would be best to station a base in the house for planning." Edward frowned, and I thought for his benefit, _it would be best if this was a covert operation_. Pursing his lips, Edward shook his head no.

"You know with werewolves things are hardly covert." I nodded slowly and turned towards the woods. Doing a quick scope of the general vicinity and seeing no one, I took off running towards out house, knowing Edward was following by his thoughtful emotions and Bella by her worried ones.

_Which is why a full frontal assault would be better for them. _I thought savagely, slamming my fist into a tree and watching with satisfaction as it splintered and fell to the ground with a loud crashing noise. Edward jumped over it, Bella skirting the edges of it with the quick, smooth motions I had taught her. She had always been a quick learner.

"But a covert one would be hard; she's at the center of La Push, most likely." Edward pointed out without missing a beat.

_I refuse to let her stay there._

"And if she wants to be there?" Edward asked, making me growl. I wouldn't hear things like that from him. She couldn't want to stay with the likes of them, could she? She hadn't confessed her secrets to Jacob, she hadn't told that new crowd I'd given her about her visions, her blessing and her curse. She hadn't tried to kiss them; she didn't show over the top emotions to them. She saved it all for me. That had to mean something, right? That had to be worth the shred of hope I'd allowed myself to feel.

"She told you?" Edward said, surprised. I stopped, turning to stare at him like he was an idiot. He knew?! I raised an eyebrow, waiting. There was no way she'd told him; they didn't even talk!

"The first day of school, she saw herself dying, but she couldn't see why. I just ended up seeing it as well and realized what had happened. That's why she was in the insane asylum; everyone thought she was nuts." Edward said with a slightly sheepish look, avoiding my gaze. He kept that from me?! The entire time all of us thought there was something off about her; he just let it go as nothing? I grumbled something under my breath and continued running, knowing that every second I hesitated; there was a second that Alice was in danger.

"I thought she would say something on her own time; only if she wanted to." Edward continued as if I had said something. Bella skirted up to me, stepping side to side and dodging small meaningless things, just like I'd taught her. As a shield, she had to be the most focused. As if seconding that thought, Bella stretched her shield, and it was like a small red force field was stretched over us, a slightly warm haze around me alerting me to that fact.

"Do you think you can help her?" Bella asked me, jumping over a tree and running alongside Edward before going ahead and doing a brief scouting. She was back in less than a second, giving me time to think about my answer.

"I can help her more than they ever could." I said through gritted teeth, nodding. Edward flashed me a look, eyebrows raised. I forced myself to think that I could keep her safer than they could. Edward didn't try to stop me.

* * *

"You need to tell her the truth." He set his smooth, cold hands over hers, staring intently into her eyes. She stared back uncomprehendingly, eyes dazed, lips parted. It was like she was being hypnotized; there was no life in her eyes. Gritting his teeth, he repeated the phrase, using his entire will to bend hers. She would listen, eventually, but at what cost? After a few moments, he dropped the gift and turned away, looking back out of the window.

"W-w… what am I doing here?" She asked, her voice higher than usual. He saw in the window's reflection that she was gripping a tissue tightly, twisting around her slim fingers that held beautiful rings on almost every one. Only one ring held his attention though; the one on the left ring finger. It sparkled and hit the light just right, showing him every color of the rainbow, and then some. Such a ring shouldn't be on a finger like hers. Why was she wearing it?

"You came to ask advice." He replied, looking out of the window where a small girl sat on a swing set. He had sent her out of the house when he realized who was at the door, and now she'd be angry for another night. He had taken her out of school when he had realized Alice had left the school, freaking out. Alice had never been known for amazing self control; now she was suffering for it.

"How do I tell her?" The lady stood up and slunk over slowly, trying to gain back her confidence that ran from her whenever he was around. Now that he had changed so drastically, it was her feeling like she had something to prove, not the other way around. He wasn't sure if he liked that.

"Get her back and let her know." He said simply, staring into the woods where Alice was running wild. She was losing it, stepping over the edge again, and he couldn't let that happen. She was his responsibility.

"And her father?" She was persistent; her arms laced around his waist and settled on his abs, ignoring the way he tensed when she did that.

"He probably already knew; you know that, don't you? He cheats on you without showing a hint of guilt; Alice's very existence is your guilt." His voice was monotone as he spoke, and he felt the way she tensed when he said that so callously. It was the truth though; her 'father' probably knew it wasn't his. She didn't even look like him! She looked like her dad, eyes blue as the sky, face paler and-

It didn't matter; he didn't look like that anymore.

"I loved you, you know that, right?" Her head rested on his back. "If there's anything I regret… it's that… I mean-"

"Right now, you need to worry about your daughter, and how she's going to be feeling when she finally knows the truth." He said, a tad harsher than he meant to be. It seemed to have the desired effect though; she backed away, verbally slapped.

"She'll hate me." She whispered, appalled.

"You haven't given her a reason to do anything but that." Now, only now did he mean to sound cruel. She stepped back, her heels catching slightly on the carpet. He could hear her heart beat pick up, a sign of her anger.

"And you've been nothing but the best father figure around." She spat, a twisted laugh ripping past her lips. He tensed, stung, but made no other movement. It was equally their fault to bare, two fools who thought they could tempt fate and make it out alive. He shook his head, banishing his thoughts.

"I think it's best you leave." He said icily, staring down where the girl swung dejectedly on the swing, a teenager in a child's state. He heard the scrambling for a purse, a muttered curse, and then the slam of a door. He didn't move from his spot at the window though; he knew what he'd find.

The ring in the middle of his desk, waiting for him to tell him just how far he'd fallen.

* * *

_He was screaming, blood spraying everywhere, medics rushing back and forth like a tide swelling as they fought to control him. The color crimson bathed everything, and he felt in over his head as the patient thrashed back and forth. There was too much blood loss, he realized sadly. The boy would die. The boy, the poor little boy who couldn't help but rave about blood drinkers and such would die from his own blood loss. _

_He coughed and choked, screaming continuing._

_"PUT OUT THE FIRE!" He roared, arching against his restraints, arms splayed to the sides, eyes closed. A nurse fell back against the wall, scratches from her cheek bleeding slightly. The boy was dangerous. Rushing into the fray, he dodged flying hands and struggled to the gurney where he grabbed the arms, strapping them down and tightening the straps. The boy's arms remained tensed, hands clawing for nothing but air. It was like he was having a seizure, but he still could talk. He was screaming, crying, begging to help, but help what?  
_

_"Please, please help me!" He cried, eyes opening to show a sickening sight. They were a strange, twisted color, the pupil black, but a thick ring of red around the middle. He was jerking against the restraints, eyes wide and paralyzing him as he stared at the boy, stared at the way he gritted his teeth. He wasn't dead yet? He kept bleeding, his neck ravaged, and covered in gauze and bandages. What had happened? The other doctors had no idea.  
_

_"You need to tell me how to help you." He soothed, reaching towards the boy to touch his forehead. His skin was clammy, icy cold and like a sheet of frost covered it. He jerked against the touch, moaning something and turning his head, jerking against the gurney. Nurses were yelling something, doctors rushed him, and he couldn't help but follow the boy on the gurney as they rushed him to the emergency room. They shouldn't bother; he was going to die soon. _

_"I can't… stop- I ca- it won't… it won't stop BURNING!" He coughed, splattering himself with red, his teeth bared in pain. Rushing with the gurney, he struggled to help, struggled to see what was wrong, but to no avail. _

_"They told me, they told me it would be ok!" He cried, closing his strange colored eyes. "They said it would be ok! They came for me, they came for me! It hurts, it hurts, it hurts! I'm, please- I'm on fire! PUT THE FIRE OUT!" He jerked and strained, and finally he was pressed away from the boy, away from the blood, away from the death. The surgeons rushed the patient away from the psychologists, their calls for things like blood transfusions and scales. The other doctors weren't needed for this job. _

_He shivered and walked the other way, spattered in a small child's blood. His screams to put the fire out still echoed down the hallway, mocking him.  
_

* * *

We formed a group quickly, Rosalie and Emmett noticing that we weren't there at lunch. Carlisle showed up soon after Esme called, and everyone noticed when Rosalie showed up. The front doors slammed open, and she stomped in, not noticing the large dent in the wall.

"You're such an IDIOT!" She shrieked, whirling into the dining room where we sat, talking quietly. Her voice was high and sharp, her eyes blazing in fury, and behind her, Emmett flashed me an apologetic look. Bella tensed slightly at Rosalie's dramatic entrance, but I was used to it, unlike her. She'd only been with the Cullens for about twenty years, whereas I had been with them for a little over fifty. Give or take a few years, and maybe she'd be able to work around Rosalie's fury. I, however, felt every fissure of anger that surged through her, directed at me.

"That's usually directed at Emmett." I murmured to Edward, earning a wry smirk from Edward and a dark chuckle from Emmett. Rosalie stomped over to me, shoving her face near mine.

"You think you're so clever, thinking you can toy with a weak little human like that, but now look what's happened! Carlisle called and told us the news; what, sad your little toy got snatched away?" She snapped, glowering in front of me. I refused to flinch under her gaze though I felt flashes of anger roll off of her and onto me. I glanced over at Edward. _What's she planning on doing?_ I asked, noticing the sick gleam in her eyes. Edward looked sick.

"That wouldn't fix things and you know it." He snapped to her, standing up. Carlisle looked on with a frown on his face, hating how this was going on. Esme stepped in, eyes wide.

"She wouldn't even know it was happening until it did." Rosalie boasted, stepping away from me to stalk around the room, slinking into a chair. "You have no idea how good I am at this kind of thing." Bella frowned, raising an eyebrow.

"We've all heard your story Rosalie; we know you're good at murder." She said coolly, gripping Edward's hand as he tensed. Rosalie whirled on her, her emotions showing shock that Bella had spoken. They hardly got along with one another, mostly avoiding each other, preferring not to talk or speak. Bella didn't know that it was jealousy that kept Rosalie from being nice.

"And you and Jasper are any better?" She hissed, ignoring Emmett's hand on her shoulder. He was frowning, staring between Edward, Bella, me, and then his wife, and I knew he felt like he was going to have to choose.

"That's a little different, don't you think?" I asked, a grin ghosting over my face. "I mean, I fought in wars as a killer; you did it for self gratification." I didn't regret the words that flew from my mouth, just as I didn't regret my feelings for a girl that was slipping away from me. Based on Edward's horror and the conversation taking place, Rosalie planned on being the one to take that life. And I would not rest until hers was over, even if it meant taking Emmett's to do it. No one would touch Alice. The beast growled at the thought of having to fight my family for a human. And yet, I would. With all of my heart.

Rosalie growled, gripping the couch so tightly that it ripped, the plush inside of the covers falling from the outer material, bleeding fluff. Emmett's face snapped towards mine, and his glare was venomous.

"Don't go there, Jasper." He warned, a dangerous smile on his face. "You still owe me a wrestling match." I grinned, equally feral with my reply.

"If anyone gets near Alice to harm her, you'll get that match." I vowed, standing up and turning away from him. My senses were going haywire, everything enhanced more than I was used to. I hadn't seen this way in awhile; every movement seemed too fast, but at the same time too slow.

"I think we need to talk this out calmly. It's not helping making idle threats." Carlisle finally spoke, his calmer voice soothing against my raw nerves. His desire for peace rolled off of him almost the same way Rosalie's blind fury did. I continued staring out of the window, ignoring the jab of Rosalie's shoulder as she stepped past me. I hardly felt it.

"I'm not going to let her die, Carlisle. I'm not going to let her stay with monsters like those mangy dogs that play protector. If she's going to be under a monster's care, make it one that can control themselves better." I said, knowing full well Edward would understand my full meaning. Rosalie snorted.

"And you can control yourself?" She asked, tone sickly sweet. I looked back at Carlisle, Edward knowing what I was thinking. He translated.

"He would want Carlisle watching after her since the scent of blood hardly bothers him." Edward explained, giving me a slight nod. He approved of my logic, despite my anger. I didn't become a Major for not thinking; now was the time to plan. Stepping over to the table, I gave them my full attention, taking in Carlisle's surprised face, Esme's concerned stare, Bella's supportive smile, and Rosalie's glare. Emmett and Edward I didn't have to worry about; I knew Edward would follow Bella, and Emmett would follow a fight. Oh, or Rosalie.

"What exactly do you propose?" Carlisle asked diplomatically, folding his arms. I leaned onto the table for a prop, keeping my stare locked with each and every member of my family.

"We need to keep her safe." I said firmly, stamping my feelings down. Now was not the time for distractions, not when it could hurt her. "I won't kill her, and I won't let anyone else have that sick satisfaction either. We need to find a way to talk with the mutts, and get her away from them. Now that she knows what we are," I shook my head, unable to wrap the thought around my mind, "things can either be easier or better."

"I say we leave. We can just scare the thought from her, and leave. We've done it before." Rosalie snorted and crossed her arms, angrily staring. I whirled on her, drawing my lips back into a soundless snarl.

"I'm not leaving her." I said before I could even register the action. I froze, looking from Rosalie's horror and disgust to Carlisle and Esme's surprised stares. And yet… it was true. Now that the words were out of my mouth, my heart (what was left of it) sang true. I was in love.

"Oh, that's rich." Rosalie mocked, standing up and walking towards me. I didn't bother to move, my mind already thinking of four different ways to land her on her back, away from me. Rosalie wasn't a threat to me. The only threat I saw was the one where Alice would walk out of my life, for good.

"I don't see how." I replied easily, glancing at Edward to see him smirking at me, probably about my thought of her being incapacitated. Seeing Rosalie beaten would be funny, and then Emmett would get his wrestling match.

"You're in love," She spat the word, lip pulling back with a hiss, "with a human. And not just any human; the freak that's hanging out with a bunch of flea bitten beasts!" She laughed, getting close to my face, practically spitting fire. "I'm going to love it when she shoots you down." With a flick of her hair, she turned and walked out of the room, fists clenched at her side, betraying her otherwise scornful exterior. Emmett stood up, frowning at me and shrugging in a, _what can I do, _kind of way before taking off after her, trying to quiet her mirthful laughing from the garage. I looked back to see Carlisle and Esme watching me, their faces mirror images of each other.

"Well, Jasper…" Carlisle's face was thoughtful, hesitant. "I can see why you would be, but can you say in all honesty if it's worth it?" He steepled his fingers in contemplation, ignoring Rosalie's laughter. "Can you truly say you're in love?" He asked.

"Carlisle," I replied, staring him straight in the eyes, "I would gladly die for her." There was a dead silence as we stared each other down, both trying to find read each others minds.

"Well, then let's think of a way to get her back, shall we?"

* * *

_Gah, that was terribly hard to write. I think I did ok though, right? I mean, I know he's a little out of character, but Stephanie didn't give me much to work with since he's hardly deeply mentioned in any way. So, like it? Hate it? Questions, concerns, comments? Let me know in a review!!_


	21. Pelearse

_So, sorry it's taken so long to update! We have a week break coming up this week, and my teachers decided we should have a bunch of projects thrown on us to make up for the break!! Thanks for your patience, and I love your reviews! They really cheered me up! So, this is going to be split into two parts, the whole aftermath in the next chapter so that I could actually give you guys an update, so yeah. Read, enjoy, and as always, review!!!_

_

* * *

  
_

_There was a crash down the hallway, a muffled noise like an object enveloped in cotton. He looked up, frowning at the sound, but made no move to investigate. Someone else would look into it, he was sure. Looking back down at the folder in his hand, he began reading again, once again interrupted by a loud crash echoing down the hall, closer this time, jerking him from his concentration. A loud, shrieking scream pierced his ears, and then silence. Alarmed, he stood up and dropped the folder, sliding his glasses up the ridge of his nose. He walked towards the door of his office, a little annoyed and slightly nervous. What was going on? _

_Opening the door, he stepped out into the white hallway, surprised to see one of the lights completely shattered, the plastic covering ripped to shreds on the floor. Another was blinking dejectedly, and dust covered the floor around it. It bathed the hallway into a grayish gloom, making him feel slightly alert, tense. Stepping fully into the hallway, he looked down the rest of the way, alarmed to see a door hanging on its hinges, askew and the glass window shattered. _

_"What in the world?" He muttered to himself, walking slowly towards it. No other sound escaped the space, save his footsteps, as he walked past the shattered lighting and towards the door, despite something in his head screaming for him to stop. As much as that warning would be nice to listen to, something also urged him on. As he reached the door, he stepped into the adjoining hall, turning his head first to the left, then the right. _

_The lights on the left were all completely on, shining innocently and brightly, the doors all righted and unbroken. The only thing off about it was the surprising lack of employees. Where was everyone? _

_Turning his head to the right, he froze, jaw dropping. If the left was in perfect order, the right hallway was the epitome of destruction. Every door was either completely off of its hinges, or close to it. Papers were scattered, lights faintly glowing or completely broken. There was someone at the very end, slumped down, as if dazed. Feeling worry yet relief at seeing someone else, he ran towards that person, skirting around the debris, ignoring the buzzing of the weak lights. He tried to press down the urge to yell, afraid to draw attention to himself. _

_"Are you alright?" He asked softly when he reached the man. He was a surgeon, based on his clothing, dirty scrubs on. They were blood specked, and by the looks of it, fresh. Concerned, he leaned down to tap the man on the shoulder, a shiver rushing down his spine as he did so. "I said, are you-" His voice cut off as a choking noise entered his throat. The man's head shifted, revealing wide, dead eyes. They were a deep brown color, the pupil empty of life. His neck was ravaged, almost completely torn out, and disgusted at the sight; he fought back the urge to vomit. Scrambling away, he found himself pressed against the opposite wall, breathing heavily and in a slightly hysterical way. What had happened to this man? Desperate to find someone and get away from the fresh death, he scrambled to his feet, legs shaking. _

_"Hello? Is- is anyone there?" He asked, ignoring the fact his voice was too quiet to be heard. Down the hall, the path of destruction grew, and adrenaline pumping, he walked quickly, trying to get the look of the dead man's face out of his mind. Dust and dirt swirled around his shoes, and he cringed when he heard a door slam. Whirling around, he almost jumped out of his skin as he saw a door fall off of its hinges and onto the ground with a thick thud. Turning back, he walked a little faster, noticing the ravaged mess growing with every step he took. _

_Turning a corner, he then promptly doubled over, trying not to throw up. _

_It was one of the nurses who helped him with his daily rounds. She was slumped over her desk, pale and lifeless. Blood ran from her neck onto her white coat, dull green eyes staring at him mockingly. The stench of blood grew thick in the air. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her, death slapping him in the face. Scrambling for his phone, shaky fingers pulled the cursed thing out, hurriedly pressing the buttons for 911. Looking down at the screen, he was shocked to see in the top left corner, the words, "no signal" glaring up at him. Since when didn't they have a signal here? _

_CRASH! Something down the next hall fell against the walls, making the floor shake. Stumbling, he managed to catch himself before he fell, eyes wide, breath growing ragged. Something was calling to him, forcing him to answer the instinct that made the hairs on the back of his neck rise. Trying not to look at the nurse, he pressed on._

_Turning again at the end of that hallway, he was surprised to see nothing but a door in the middle of the hallway. The lights still burned brightly, and the walls were clean, free of blood. The smell in the air told him otherwise. The rustic, salty stench assaulted him, making his mind reel and his stomach protest. He kept walking though. Down the hallway he went, fear clawing into the back of his mouth like a feral animal. Looking at the nearby sign, he saw he was in the hospital part of the asylum. Vaguely his mind registered this, but he hardly thought much of it. _

_Walking down the rest of the hallway, he reached the broken door, and looked numbly to his left, hesitantly walking into the open room. _

_The room was bathed in red. _

_Streaks of it, everywhere. He couldn't help but stare at it, at the blood that adorned the walls like a decoration, screaming to the world as it did so. _Blood shouldn't look so red,_ he thought numbly, his stomach roiling unpleasantly. _

_And then he saw the bodies. _

_It was almost like a house of wax display. They were sprawled across each other, all staring up with wide eyes, faces of horror making him break out into a cold sweat. The gurney was strategically placed in the center, streaks of red across the neck of it. Four doctors in scrubs lay one across the other, heads tilted towards it. Eyes wide, he stepped in. _

_"Beautiful, isn't it?" He sensed more than felt himself being lifted and thrown across the room. His body twisted, and he cried out as he slammed his shoulder into the wall, sliding down slowly and slumping to the floor, next to another doctor. Gritting his teeth against the pain, he scrambled away from the doctor, panicked. Something grabbed him again, lifting him up and over before slamming him onto the bloodstained gurney. _

_"A masterpiece." The beautiful voice continued, unabashed. He struggled, fighting against pale white hands that kept him firmly in place. He gave a shout, an exclamation of fear and indignation, but the person seemed amused by it. _

_"Nothing can save you now." It mused, finally letting go. Scrambling off of the gurney, he fell, grabbing his shoulder and rolling away, hitting the wall nearest to him. Dragging himself to his feet, he turned to face his foe. _

_It was the boy who was supposed to be dead. _

_He looked so different though. He was pale, for one. The sickliest pale he'd ever seen, almost blending in with the stark white walls despite the slight red glow around him. His large, child like eyes were a sick, crimson red, much like the color surrounding him and the bodies lying on the floor. He looked thinner, a little taller, and by any human's standards, absolutely beautiful. As if sensing that was his ending reaction, the boy smiled. _

_"Like the change?" He asked, arms opened wide and turning slightly, too fast for him to really catch a look at. It was like when he moved it was blurry, the actions blending into one another. _

_"What are you??" Was it really his voice that sounded that squeaky? His shoulder burned, and he grasped it, eyes still locked on the monster in front of him. _

_"You… smell nice." A low growl entered the room, surprisingly from the boy in front of him. He looked demonic, red eyes glowing faintly, his steps sure and smooth, still blurred though. _

_"You-" His voice choked, and he fought back the desire to vomit. "What happened to you?" He asked, shaking his head. He slid slowly to the ground, shaking legs unable to hold him up. The boy paused, too fast, jerking back a little too far for normal. His head cocked to the side, fingers trembling. _

_"I told you they'd come for me." He said conversationally, fine fingers plucking a string from his regular asylum sweats. "And the burning… when it stopped, I was like this." He grinned, exposing sharp fangs that glinted. His teeth were tinged in blood, and he gave a gasp, trying to sidle away desperately. The boy with the claims about vampires… it was real? He couldn't speak, his heart hammering in his throat, his face pasty white; it was sickening. _

_"But you-" The boy's voice stopped and he sauntered over too quickly, in front of him in less than a second. "You, I remember. The only doctor trying to help, in a room full of those paid to save…" His voice carried off as he let out a strange laugh, staring down with his bloody eyes. "The others… they just wanted to shut me, the crazy child up, but no, no, no, you were actually concerned… and I thank you for that." Smiling, he lifted him from the floor, bringing him up to eye level. _

_"It was the right thing to do." He said through trembling lips. The boy-he refused to think the word vampire-froze. His head turned again, like an inquisitive child. Through the bloody haze and the smell of death, he could see the human underneath, the frightened and out of control child. It hurt him to see the boy like that as much as his shoulder (it was dislocated, he thought stupidly) burned. _

_"The… right thing?" He phrased it as a question, still holding him up in the air. Smiling animalistically, he brought him closer, lips pulling back slowly. "You're interesting… I think I don't want to kill you. I don't; I really don't." He closed his eyes, licking his lips. "But, it's so… hard." He whispered, beautiful voice slightly broken and panicked. _

_"I don't- please, let me live." His voice shook, and the boy gave a sad laugh. _

_"I'll let you live- I'll let you live, __forever__." He smiled and leaned in towards his neck._

_And that's when the screaming started._

* * *

It was like things were slowing down to a frame by frame setup. Jacob phasing was the strangest thing I've ever seen, but it was beautiful at the same time. The fur was like an ocher brown of sunset, standing out in the night like its own light, and he hurtled slowly towards Edward, his mouth pulled back into a soundless snarl, teeth gleaming. My senses were going over drive; my skin was ultra-sensitive to the cold feel of Dr. Cullen's hands on my shoulders, pulling me back, my feet stumbling numbly after him. The wind ruffled through my short hair, and the noises of the wolves snarling and howling made my ears burn. I could see every shape in front of me, defined and sharpened with my adrenaline rush. Jacob was falling faster, mouth opening farther for his kill.

He never reached it.

Sam lunged from the side, tackling Jacob to the ground, snarling and snapping in frustration. They landed near the tree I had been hiding in, and they struggled to right themselves, yipping and growling at each other. Jasper hissed at the tension in the air, and Edward crouched, ready to spring. How did he know that Jacob would never reach him?

"Uh on, trouble in paradise?" Emmett guessed, grinning widely. Nearby, the wolves growled, but they didn't attack. Why?

Jacob and Sam rose from their crouches, staring each other down with venom in their eyes. My heart pounded in my ribcage, and something said I should be worried about a vampire holding me back, but at that moment, I didn't care. Dr. Cullen had helped me, had saved my life. Who cared what they were right now? I was watching two werewolves get into it right in front of me; the safest thing right now was Carlisle Cullen. I who saw visions didn't have a right to criticize. I watched, worried for the outcome; would they have to fight? Jasper shifted to the side slightly, making more growls break out. Edward gave Jasper a glance, and Jasper jerked slightly, turning back at me, eyes still wild and deadly. Edward murmured something too quiet for me to hear, and nodding slightly, Jasper said to me, softly, "No one's going to get hurt." I looked up at him, eyes wide, but before I could ask what he meant, he'd turned back, ready to spring. Carlisle gave me an affectionate squeeze. Nearby, Sam and Jacob stared at each other, twitching, but otherwise soundless.

"What are Jacob and Sam doing?" I asked out loud, watching their silent communication as tails flicked and ears moved up and down in agitation.

"Werewolves can read each others minds when they're in wolf form, Alice." Dr. Cullen informed me quietly, pulling me back a little more when a loud growl issued from the gray wolf that seemed just as edgy as Jacob.

"And the others aren't attacking because Sam is the alpha, and he's said not to." Edward answered my unspoken thought. I stared outright at them, wondering why I should still feel surprised at this. Would Frankenstein's monster pop out of no where now? Or maybe Harry Potter would apparate, broomstick in hand, mumbling under his breath about horcruxes? Ahead of me, Edward let out a low laugh. Jasper's stance became a little tenser, and he turned towards Edward, frowning. Edward stared at him for a moment, eyebrows raised before he stood up fully, staring around the forest for a second. Their silent interlude was interesting, but kind of strange.

Taking a step towards the wolves, his frown became more pronounced, and he took a deep breath. Sam tore his gaze away from Jacob, and Jacob let out a low growl, slinking around Sam to see what Edward was doing. Seeing an opening, Jacob lunged, shooting up and around Sam, aiming for Edward's back. Before he could though, Jasper was there in the blink of an eye, slamming Jacob to his back, causing chaos to break out through the pack. The large, edgy gray wolf lunged, only to be slammed down by Emmett, the large and bulky vampire crowing something that sounded like a victory shout. As a black legged wolf dodged and lunged, Edward crashed into him, sending him sprawling. I watched with eyes wide, heart pounding.

Carlisle wrenched me back, Bella jumping around us and slamming a dark brown wolf back, the sound crashing against my ears and making me clap my hands to my head. My mind reeled as blurs danced before my eyes, the noise of their blows and blocks similar to that of a rockslide; Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Bella, and Rosalie fighting seven wolves. The others danced back, whining and dropping to the ground. Sam must have told them to stay out; in the back of my mind I noticed that they were the smaller wolves of the pack.

Amongst the fighters, I saw flashes of Jasper. Compared to Emmett's outright brute force, Edward's strange one-step-ahead style, Bella's caution, and Rosalie's fury, Jasper was truly the best. He was a mix between attack and trickery, style and brute force. He seemed to know the best way to attack, the best way to defend, and the best way to win. In little more than a few seconds, he had Jacob pinned, the poor wolf's shoulders twisted above him, Jasper about to snap them. His eyes looked cold, dead, and lifeless. It was like he was simply going through a routine, but something about that routine was bad. Something told me that if he went along with it, he'd never be the same.

"NO!" Someone cried along with me. Everyone froze, their looks of surprise almost amusing. Carlisle's grips tightened on me, and Jasper looked up, eyes fixed on me though his position didn't move. He still held Jacob at the ready for death. The others heads whipped around though to see Marie rush towards Jacob, her eyes wide with worry. She stumbled over a branch and tumbled, landing on her knees before she pulled herself up and stared at Jacob, glaring at Jasper. "Let him go!" She demanded, rushing over and pulling on Jacob's mass, pushing against Jasper's granite hands. "Let him go!" She demanded again, tears in her eyes as she stared up into Jasper's cold eyes. She was hysterical, worried for the writhering mass of Jacob as he struggled against Jasper. Edward nodded to himself, apparently satisfied about something, as if confirming a fact.

"Jasper, let him go." He said quietly, staring over at Jacob. The wolf he had been wrestling with was unsure where to go; he twitched in any direction he went, a silent no probably ringing in his head. Emmett had jumped back, pulling his wife with him, a smug smile on his face, an annoyed one on Rosalie's. Bella stayed between the two groups, posture straight, eyes on everything. Still, Jasper didn't move, eyes trained on me. I felt slightly worried, slightly scared for him. He was probably reading my emotions, reading that I was scared, but did he know why? Did he know that it was for his safety, not about what he was doing? He was protecting me, I could feel it. Just, not in the way that was beneficial to him.

"Jasper, let him go." I said softly, not looking away from his dead eyes that scared me. It was like he was saying he'd have nothing left. He was teetering on the edge, and I had to pull him back. "Just let him go, ok?" I begged to him, eyebrows scrunched up. He kept staring, face slowly changing as he reluctantly, slowly let go of Jacob's poor legs, letting them return to the way they were meant to be twisted. Jacob let out a half growl half whine as he fell against the ground. Marie collapsed on him, teary eyed, letting out a coughing sob as Jasper kicked him for good measure before walking stiffly over to us, Bella dancing over to cover his back, eyes facing the wolves. My heart slowly stopped knocking against my ribs the closer he got.

"We smelled another human; you didn't need to sick your pet on us." Edward said coldly, drawing himself up full height. Sam stared at Edward, snarling angrily. Behind him, the pack was restless, pacing back and forth, but none attacked. Apparently, Sam didn't want a fight now that he knew that even outnumbered, the Cullens were still dangerous. Marie stayed with Jacob, running her fingers through his fur, eyes intent only on him, murmuring to him softly. When she did glance up, her eyes coldly found Jasper's, and he blinked back at her, expressionless. Sam stared at Edward, looking the same as he did when he had looked at Jacob.

"Why don't you ask her? I'm sure she followed you, just like Alice did." Edward shrugged, and Emmett laughed.

"They can't keep track of their own pup." He grinned, glancing back at me and winking. "At least ours has the skill to stay hidden." I rolled my eyes.

"Emmett, shut up." Jasper's voice was deadly and cold, but as his head turned, I swore I saw a hint of a smile.

"The rules are the same. We don't kill-" He frowned, staring at Sam with annoyance, "or bite a human, and we stay on our lands. We understand. Keep your mutts away from my family." He snapped, turning back to us. Nodding down at me, he added, "And that means Alice, too." Dr. Cullen gave my shoulders a gentle squeeze, ignoring Jacob's muted growl. As he let go of me, I turned to see The Cullens begin walking back, Emmett seemingly disappointed, Edward tense. As Bella passed me she let a finger slide on my cheek for comfort, smiling sweetly at me. Rosalie stalked past, openly seething, and Carlisle's wife gave me a small smile. I looked back at the wolves to see them beginning to melt into the trees, their steps silent, their growls and snarls still heard though. Apparently, Jacob and the gray wolf weren't the only ones itching for a fight.

"I was hoping he'd let the others attack too. Maybe I'd have an actual challenge with four mutts on me at once?" Emmett asked in his loud voice, making a wolf growl as he faded into the background. I couldn't help but smile at that.

"Sam didn't want the newer ones getting hurt." Edward said as the shadows swallowed him up.

"Even then, there wouldn't be a problem." Emmett insisted, a booming laugh erupting from the darkness. I shook my head at his excitement and arrogance

Marie's fingers were tangled in the scruff of Jacob's fur as they stood in the center of the woods, staring at each other. Her face was creased with worry, and I imagined Jacob's would be as well.

"Alice?" A concerned voice pulled to me and something cool touched my waist. I looked up, startled to see Jasper staring down at my hesitantly, brows creased. With one finger, he reached up and caressed my cheek slowly, sending shivers down my spine from the cold temperature. I heard a soft growl, and I looked back though to see Marie looking at me, regret mingling with sadness and anger. Beside her, Jacob glowered, still in wolf form.

"Sneaking out, huh?" I asked, trying to sound light and happy. She let out a dejected laugh.

"I couldn't let you have all the fun." She said softly, looking down at Jacob still in wolf form. "Even if it was your boyfriend beating on mine." Her eyes found Jasper and she gave him a pointed glare he didn't see; his eyes were on me. Jacob looked back at me, and I swore I saw disgust in his eyes as he surveyed Jasper's hold on me. Turning away, his back to us, Jacob began to walk slowly, pulling Marie with him, her fingers still in his fur. Jasper lightly pulled me, and I turned with him, his arm still around my waist. I looked back though, around the crook of his arm to see Marie looking back at me as well, eyebrows raised.

"Still friends?" I called to her. She cracked a dry smile.

"Not likely." She said drolly, motioning to Jacob's pace. I nodded, agreeing. As long as the werewolves didn't get along with the vampires, we would have to stay away from one another, for her sake. She turned back and followed Jacob, disappearing into the darkness, and I turned, leaning wearily against a bloodsucking monster that I wasn't sure how I felt about anymore.

* * *

_Owned or Failed? Only you can tell!! :)_


	22. La Historia del Monstruo

_So, thanks for all of you who reviewed! I'm on break this week, so I've been able to work on this and get it finished rather quickly! I know some of you wanted the fight, but I figured that with the plot I've got coming up ahead, it would be a bit too much, you know? :D Anywho, I loved the comments you guys gave, and I've really taken them into account this chapter! I know how I've tried to make Alice more of an 'independent girl' since in Twilight, the main controversy was that Bella seemed too needy. I know that bothered me that she who wanted to do things on her own was always needing help, so I had to make a person who could look vampires in the eyes and not have to depend on them fully!_

_So, let's try for twenty reviews, yes? I made this chapter about ten or eleven pages long, so mucho love!! _

_Oh, and I've started another story... it's called Taste of Sin (used to be Romeo and Juliet) so check it out? It's only on chapter two, but I've got chapters done in advance started, so it would be very much appreciated if you guys would check it out!! _

_Love!_

_

* * *

  
_

_The white ceiling tile was painful to look at. Really, everything was painful to look at. It hurt to close my eyes, and it hurt to have them open. _

_It hurt, period. _

_"Her blood is relatively normal, apart from a slightly lesser level of iron in her blood." His voice hurt my ears, but I didn't have the strength to cover my ears. It was a voice I listened to everyday. _

_"What's wrong with her now?" This voice hurt even worse than the other one; I was aware of the emotional pain now, not just the physical one. _

_"They've done three different neurological tests today; she'll be a little weary." His tone was smug, but wary. I rolled over, shoulders screaming. _

_"She shouldn't be in that much pain then. What did you do to her?" His tone was sharper, and I sluggishly wrapped my arms around my torso, trying to hold my heart together. _

_"I- you don't think I- what do you mean?" _

_"What did you do to her? She's in pain. This isn't what I signed her up for." _

_"We sent stress inducing enzymes into her bloodstream to see how it affected her visions, that's all. She didn't respond to our stimulus, so we've assumed that she's reached a catatonic state, and she's not to be touched." There was hesitance in this man's tone, and I waited with screaming ears to hear the verdict of their cruelty._

_"… Get out." His voice was firm, cold. I had never heard such cruel tones before, and despite my pain, I felt a shiver of fear at his words. The words alone weren't terrifying, but the underlying threat behind them was. There was a dead silence that stressed my nerves, before I heard the thumping of shoes walking away, the slam of a door, and then silence. _

_I kept my eyes closed, blocked out the pain that I felt, even when someone cautiously, almost tenderly, grabbed my hand in theirs. Their hands were warm and smooth, and it eased the frigid cold my hands were suffering. I was so bent on that relief that I almost didn't hear the soft crying the person was doing. _

_"I'm so sorry, so sorry…" Their voice wept in undertones, and their smooth, warm hands shook with the grief. I opened my eyes slowly, unsurprised to see Dr. Brandon staring down at me, tears in his eyes. His hands held mine loosely and his lips were trembling. _

_"Alice, I never meant for this… you know that, right?" He asked me, eyebrows moving up before moving down at my lack of response. I kept staring, unable to open my lips to tell him to leave. Did I want him gone? Yes, I really did. He was the reason I was here, where breathing alone hurt. _

_"If I had known… I- I'm so sorry." He leaned over my hand, gripping it a little tighter as he tried to convey his true meaning to me, face twisted in pain. He stayed with me the rest of the day, every now and then mumbling his apologies, trying to chase the pain away with his words. My arms hurt too badly to pull away, and I had to suffer his lies for most of the day._

_When I finally was able to fight past the pain in my throat, I told him in a cold voice to leave._

* * *

We walked in silence, him keeping pace with me despite my slow walk. Compared to how fast they were moving earlier, I'm sure he could go faster. The rest of the Cullens weren't even in sight, and something in the back of my head said they were probably already home. I didn't mind though; I felt at peace with Jasper. No doubt why though. I glanced up at him to see his gaze intense around us, eyes still slightly cold and wild. I wanted to reach up and just touch him to make sure I wasn't dreaming, but the kiss entered back into my mind, reminding me that it wouldn't bode well for me to touch him. My hand stayed firmly by my side.

The silence pressed in on me though, despite Jasper's attempts at giving me relaxing feelings. It was too quiet, and slowly little fears awakened in me, now that I was allowed to think about them. There was a rogue vampire stalking me, and I was in danger. I was on my way to some sort of vampire base with a vampire that's been ripping my mind to shreds, and a pack of werewolves had tried to hold me in their reservation for protection. I had lost one of my only friends from some feud between the two mythical creatures, and now one of those mythical creatures had its arm around me. My mind reeled.

"What's bothering you… well, apart from the obvious?" He asked me quietly, jerking me from my reverie. I looked up at him again, ignoring the strange panging my heart gave at his stunning appearance. I shook my head, looking down. I didn't know exactly what to say without sounding too confusing. He stopped walking, halting me mid-step and whirling me lightly around to stare at him, his gaze burning me intensely. I forgot how to breathe for a moment, but when I remembered I took a slow breath, unable to look away from him. I refused to let him distract me.

"You're safe, Alice." He said slowly, each word distinct yet smooth in its own way. I couldn't help the sarcastic grin that stole over my face, and probably feeling my sardonic mood, Jasper let out a low, calming chuckle. "In a manner of speaking." He amended, reaching out to grasp my hands. I let him, uncertainly, his cool skin gliding over my own like silk, making me shiver. I lifted them up, pulling his hands closer to our chests and staring at them, his fingers long and smooth. Not quite artist's fingers, but more like a fighter's hands. Hands that killed; hands that almost killed.

"You're a vampire." I told him softly, looking away from his hands to look back at his face. Jasper tensed, the weird look back in his eyes before he seemed to force it away, a slightly bitter smile taking over.

"Yes," He said tightly, probably waiting for me to begin screaming, "Yes, I am. You're an observant one." His smile changed into something a little more kind, a little less forced. I tightened my grip on his hands, strangely feeling safer here with him than I did in the middle of a pack of wolves. His words still echoed through my mind, the cruel edge to them making them a little more real. _Don't you ever touch her. I'll kill you if you try._ The thought of him killing, blood covering him like splatters of a sickening red paint made me feel slightly nauseous, and I had to turn away. He let me, a slight frown on his face at my action.

"And you… kill people." I could almost see him visibly tensing behind me, probably judging my moods hesitantly, unsure how to respond. I kept walking though, stepping over a log and keeping my eyes on the ground so I didn't trip. I had to get answers out of him, my instinct from the asylum saying to get all of the facts, to get all of the answers. Survival was key.

"I used to." Jasper agreed, voice quiet. I wasn't sure if he meant for me to hear it, but him acknowledging that fact made me shiver. I already figured he had, and though the thought of it was terrifying, I know he was trying to sooth my nerves and keep me from screaming. I was glad for that gesture, though I don't know why. Maybe I was tired of feeling ragged and rubbed raw? Maybe some sick part of me didn't want to be terrified of him? Yet deep down, I was wary of him, wary of anything that could take away my freedom again. I tried to suppress it, knowing he would be able to tell what my emotions were.

"But you don't now." There was a sick, dry laugh, and I turned to look at him with raised eyebrows, waiting for him to elaborate on his random touch of humor. He was leaning against a tree, arms folded, eyes on me, face anything but humorous, yet still he laughed. My blood ran cold.

"No… but I could." Those words slapped me in the face, and despite my current situation, I felt a stab of anger at it. I glared at him, my hands planting themselves on my hips as words fell from my mouth.

"Oh, but you could! That's something that you just tell me after I'm taken away from the so called 'protectors'! What, does it make you proud that you can take away people's lives in a split second? Does it make you feel good that you have that kind of power?" I demanded, watching his face change from shock to anger, his lips pursed in annoyance. I should have stopped there, but after everything tonight, I couldn't. "What, do you want me to feel scared around you? Like I'm not already nervous about being surrounded by a whole fam-damily of vampires, so you have to insinuate that I could very well die just because you have the ability to kill!" I ignored his face change abruptly from anger to slight pain, and I couldn't just stop the words from my mouth. "Not only have I been ripped away from my semblance of a normal life, but I've also been thrown into an entire story book of mythical creatures!!!" I turned away from him, not exactly sure where I was going to go, but I was going to leave. The silence pressed in on me, and I let out an irritated growl under my breath.

"And you've got nothing to say to that! You just stand there, staring like you've never been yelled at before!" I exclaimed, my stride not stopping. As I stepped over a log, I jerked away from his cold touch as he tried to help me over. I wasn't surprised that he was right there; his temper was probably as shot as mine was. Looking up at him though, I had to say that he didn't seem angry. He seemed, if anything, amused.

"What; what do you want?!" I snapped, pulling my hand from his, trying to pull myself up to my impressive five feet tall height. He stared down at me, probably a foot and a half taller than me.

"You," He pushed a stray strand of short hair away from my face. "Can't say," at this he leaned down slightly towards me, raising an eyebrow. "That you had some semblance of a normal life." He declared factually, grabbing my hand and turning away, pulling me along after him. I followed dumbly, shock at his words making my jaw drop. I could almost feel the self satisfaction dripping off of him, and with a glare, I yanked my hand from his again. If he was going to be a jerk, I didn't have to act polite either.

"I can walk on my own." I said stiffly, following him dejectedly; where else did I have to go? If I went back home, I'd be sent to another vampire, a vampire that I didn't want to see since, let's face it, he's one of the reasons I was crumbling to pieces.

"I have no doubt to that." Jasper replied so quietly I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear it. I didn't respond though, and I followed him silently, growing colder and edgier the longer I walked. What was I doing? Where was I going to go now? I felt stuck with my choice, my subconscious telling me that my choice was wrong. What was I supposed to do?

I couldn't help but feel calm, courtesy of Jasper, but underneath I was scared. Underneath the forced calm, I was angry, and upset, and though I would never admit this out loud… I was so lost it brought tears to my eyes.

"We're going to be going back to my home, and then if you want to stay for your own protection, you can." He spoke strangely, like he was only saying it to reassure me, and I nodded dumbly along, the peace that he forced on me pushing the words back down my throat. I didn't have to say anything mean… it was ok, I could just walk…

And I did just walk. I walked right behind him, the vampire with cold, cold eyes. The vampire that made my mind reel and left my thoughts rushing about my head like a hive of hornets. The vampire that could kill me right now, but for some strange reason, didn't. Why? Did he not like the thought of killing? Did he not want to be what he was? What happened that made him so… him? So cryptic and out there? Why was it that even though I was on edge with the idea of vampires and werewolves stalking the earth, I could feel at ease with something that wasn't meant to be? Was it because, according to doctors, I wasn't meant to be, either? What were we, of all people, doing on the earth? As if sensing my curiosity, Jasper stopped, head down.

"I'm sorry, Alice." He said in a weird voice. I stared at him, surprise etching my face before I fought it down. He was apologizing? I wasn't aware that he thought he'd done anything wrong.

"It's… ok…" My voice trailed off, and I kept staring at his back, swinging my casted arm awkwardly. Jasper let out a funny laugh, much like the one from earlier.

"No, it's not ok… I can feel that you're confused, and terrified, and tired, and you probably don't know why I'm even saying this… I've just never felt this way before." He turned, tortured eyes looking up at me, angelic face agonized. I gulped instinctively, starting to step back.

"I… don't know what you mean." I replied, folding my arms.

"I don't even know where to start. I want to tell you everything, now that you know, but I don't- I've never been worried about this-"

"Worried about what?!" I snapped incredulously. His gaze burned me.

"Worried about scaring you away." He whispered. I couldn't help it; I stumbled back a few steps and my mind went a little blank. My thoughts of him as a killer, as a murderer, as a _vampire_ sounded so strange next to his words. It was like he had never mentioned death, like he had never mentioned killing… I didn't like how it made me feel.

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" Frustration wormed its way through the calming affects of his gift, and I bit my lip so I didn't rush into another tangent.

"I… don't like killing, Alice. Which is, I guess, ironic, since I'm so good at it." He smiled wryly, glancing away and nodding for us to keep walking. I complied, curiosity getting the better of me. "I hated-still hate-the emotions I feel when they die. It's like I'm a part of them… killing them. I had to change because I was becoming too depressed, being a murderer." He laughed bitterly, glancing over at me as I walked next to him quietly. "I hadn't even thought of it as murder- that is, until I met Carlisle.

"I came from a different life than the rest of my family derived from. I'll spare that for another time, if you're willing to hear it. Because of it though, I didn't have very good control. I was around the northern part of Idaho, scoping out for lost hikers, waiting for the point where they didn't even want to live anymore, the fear of never finding home getting to be too much for them. I figured that if they were ready for death… I would be doing them a service, as well as one for myself." He looked over again, judging my reaction. Even though I was trying to appear nonchalant about him hunting for people, I know he felt my shiver of unease. He smiled dryly. I listened though, knowing that though he was a vampire, the fact that he was trying to explain made me want to listen. I owed him that, at least.

"Apparently, a nomadic vampire had swept the area before me, and Carlisle, to keep the peace, had gone tracking him, to explain why he shouldn't target one area too much… humans begin to be too suspicious when their people die too much." Jasper looked down, examining his clothing and avoiding my gaze. "He thought that I was the nomad, and when he began explaining things to me, I couldn't help but laugh."

"Why'd you laugh?" I asked with raised eyebrows. Jasper shook his head, lips pursed.

"Because of my past-everything that had happened-I thought it was funny. Carlisle realized his mistake, started to leave, but… I stopped him. 'Why are you bothering with this?' I had asked him… and he just smiled fondly, like I was a son or something. 'Not every human has to die for our sake.' He replied. I couldn't help it; I was intrigued. Never had I met a vampire who talked about humans with such… reverence. Like they were people, not just prey."

"He's right; we're not just prey." I said pointedly, jabbing a finger at myself for emphasis. Jasper looked down at me, amused, and for some reason… confused.

"No," He agreed quietly, nodding, "No, you're not. And when I asked him about why he saw things that way… he invited me to talk to his family. I noticed how he had told me it was his family, not his coven. His words… his actions… they made me think that maybe I didn't have to be a monster. I didn't have to kill, just because I could." He flashed a grin at me, and eyebrow raised. "And I followed them, to their home in southern Idaho that was always covered in clouds because it was nestled between two large mountains. I talked with Esme, Carlisle, and Edward. Rosalie and Emmett were on a honeymoon adventure somewhere in Japan during their monsoon season, and Bella wasn't a part of their family yet. They seemed so at ease with a normal life that it gave me the desire to live like that too."

"Wait… how long ago was this?!" I cut in with wide eyes. Jasper stopped walking, looking down at me incredulously, probably wondering why I was concerned of this, of all things. Still, the way he was talking… he made it sound like ancient history. The beginnings of America settled into my mind, and I cringed at the idea.

"I believe the year was 1951." He said slowly, looking down at me with a smile playing about his lips. I couldn't help it; I gasped.

"How old are you?!" I asked in shock. Some part of me said that they had to be old, but I didn't want to believe it. I mean, vampires lived for forever, right? He laughed, his lower laugh soothing and genuinely happy. I liked his laugh, I decided.

"I'm… twenty years old, in actuality, and I'm seventeen, according to humans." He said, still chuckling.

"And how long have you been 'twenty years old, in actuality'?" I asked with raised eyebrows. His grin grew a little more.

"I've been a vampire for 146 years." He informed me, lifting his arms slightly. "I look good for my age, no?" He teased as my jaw dropped. The wheels turned in my head, and I thought frantically for the right numbers.

"So you were born a little before the civil war era?!" I exclaimed, taking a step back. Looking down, Jasper's hands were suddenly in his pockets, and his grin was fading slightly.

"Yes… I was around my mid-teens when it started." He said softly, scuffing his shoe. He looked back up at me, his eyebrows raised. "Would you like to hear that story as well? I'll try my best not to scare you." I laughed, shrugging.

"After everything that's been happening, I highly doubt I'll get any more scared than I am now." Jasper cracked a dry grin, nodding slowly.

"Are you sure you want to hear this? It's late, and I'm sure you're tired." He tacked on, tapping the watch around his wrist. I shook my head, keeping eye contact.

"This… is helping me wrap my head around everything." I told him, motioning towards him. "If I hear it, then it's easier to believe this."

"It could be just a dream." He said with slight hope, like he wished it was a dream.

"Jasper, after everything that's happened, I highly doubt that I'll wake up from this." I shook my head bitterly. No, there was no way this was a dream. If it was, then I've been asleep too long.

"Fine then, I won't spare your emotions." He warned me, eyes hinting otherwise. Something told me that he'd change things around if necessary. "I grew up in Texas with my family in the mid- 1800's and I had a relatively good life. When the civil war broke out though… there was a strong sense of division. My family sided with the south… and out of loyalty, I did too. I was too young for the war though, but I suppose I looked old enough that when I faked my age to sign up, they let me with little questions. I was promoted quickly… even at my fake age of twenty years old, I was the youngest major in the army. People listened to what I had to say, even if they didn't want to, and a lot of my superiors said it was like charisma that I could manipulate their feelings so well." He grinned slightly, nodding at my rapt face. "Even with your anger swirling around you, you're listening. Curiosity overwhelming it, I suppose."

"One night though… things changed. It was a few years after being in the army, and it was a little after my real twentieth birthday. I was given the order to evacuate a town of their women and children, for safety. As I was doing my rounds… I met them." His lips pursed, and he stared straight ahead, lost in memory. "Alice, I don't think I'll ever forget that night. When you're changed, you forget a lot of things… but that, I never will.

"The moon was out." He mused to himself, head cocked to the side. "The full moon was out, and it lit the path like no night before. I had no troubles meandering down the lanes, checking for any stragglers… when I saw them. There were three of them. All of them were beautiful in their own ways, but beautiful they were. The darker haired one was probably the most angelic, her features Hispanic but her skin so pale… she outshined the two fair-haired ones with an unspoken authority I recognized, simply from being in the military. The moon was out, bathing them in bright light, and the air was dry. It scratched my throat as I tried to breathe in from shock. I hadn't seen them in the rush to evacuate women and children… I would have remembered such exquisite beauty.

"They were studying me, probably amused that I was staring. One of them, Nettie, I later learned, kept trying to attack me though at that time I didn't know it. She was thirsty… and I was young. The dark haired one didn't want her to. She wanted to change me, she kept saying to them it would be a waste… and I had no idea what she meant. They kept saying murder, death, killing… and I was suddenly struck with fear." His face blanched and I instinctively reached out and took his hand in reassurance. If he noticed, he didn't say a word. "I couldn't move, even when the dark haired one said for the other two to leave so they wouldn't interfere. She looked at me, her eyes taking in my major's ranks, and she smiled. Her smile didn't reassure me- if anything it made my fear spike. She leaned up, eyes glittering like she was going to kiss me, and then-" His voice broke off, and he looked down at our hands, eyes wide like he wasn't expecting them to be intertwined. "And then," he continued quietly, "I woke up like this."

I stared at him quietly, taking in the smooth, stone-like quality that he had. His golden eyes glittered with emotions I couldn't name, but felt in tune with. He had seemed so fond of those human years where he was on top and happy… to see him like this was painful.

"Maria was her name. Marie, Nettie, and Lucy…" His voice trailed off, probably thinking back to the memory of so long ago. There was a sense of bitterness in his words. "They were the leaders of a slowly growing coven of vampires. Vampires in the south are different from the ones here, Alice. They fight for territories of humans… kind of like fighting for food. The bigger the territory, the more food." He glanced down at me quickly, probably seeing if I understood what he meant.

"Feeding rights." I whispered as he nodded.

"Maria had lost her territory, and she wanted it back. Using me, and my military training, she taught me how to control my power, and then had me train other newborns. When you're a newborn, you can't control anything. You run on instinct, and even if you're on the same team, you snap on anyone at the slightest command. Sometimes, our own would destroy each other before we could unleash them on anyone else." He smiled sadly, looking down at the ground as we walked. I followed as quietly as I could, enchanted by the story he was telling me. As we slipped through the trees, I had no idea as to where we were going, but when we hit a clearing, the moon bathed us in white light, and I gasped. Jasper turned, hand ripping from mine as he studied the clearing for signs of trouble, his eyes growing dead and sick. Seeing none, he came closer, hands fluttering around me as he tried to see my sign of distress.

"What, what's wrong?" He asked in a low voice, something cold leaking in. I could only stare up at him, eyes fixed on the strange raising in his flesh on his face. Brushing his hands away, I stared up at him, frowning at the strange crescent moons crisscrossing each other like random decorations.

"What happened?" I asked in a choked voice, reaching up slowly to touch the shiny scars along his jaw and neck. Jasper froze as I touched one, and his eyes warmed up as he realized what I was talking about. Grabbing my hand, he placed it back by my side, a sad smile touching his lips.

"I was put in charge of keeping our army from tearing each other apart." He said informatively, turning his head slightly to let me see a better angle of his scars. They were a slightly lighter shade of his skin (believe it or not) and they were the dominant feature of him. Looking down at his hands, I saw the same pattern over the back of his hands. Taking hold of one slowly, I hesitantly pushed the sleeve of his shirt up, shocked that even more bite marks adorned his arms and wrists. I couldn't help but touch them, surprised that I didn't feel the rise in the skin when I brushed over them. I heard a soft sigh, and I looked up to see him, lips parted, eyes closed. Slowly, his eyes opened, and he looked down at me, the smile a little forced.

"Vampire bites are the only things that leave marks on us. Keeping them in check was a full time job." He said by way of explanation, pushing his sleeves back down. Turning back towards the shadows of the trees, he nodded as an indication to keep walking and numbly, I followed.

"Maria grew annoyed with her two partners soon after we began claiming land." He finally began speaking after a few minutes of silence. He was probably debating whether to continue or not, tasting the mood in the air. "She did away with them, using me to help with keeping things calm as she did so. As the newborn strength and power began to fade, she'd also use me to get rid of the useless newborns, killing them either one by one or two by two. Either way, they were defenseless. They could just barely control themselves whereas I was born to be able to fight creatures like them with my eyes closed.

"Then, I met Bella.

"Bella was a girl changed by Maria. Generally we changed only males, but when one of her psychics couldn't do anything to her, Maria changed her to see what would happen. My emotional abilities worked on her just fine, but Diego couldn't do anything to her. His gift was mind control, and in anger at it failing, Maria destroyed him." Jasper didn't seem sad that Diego had died, but at the mention of Bella, his eyes had brightened. "Bella was put in my direct control with the orders of finding out how her gift worked. It was then that my perspective of newborns changed slightly. Bella didn't behave like the other vampires. She had control of herself, exceptional control, and her emotions were hardly over the top. That change of behavior drew me to her in anger, but slowly and surely, we found out that she had the talent of a shield."

"A shield?" I asked quizzically. Jasper nodded, lips pursed.

"A shield is someone that can block themselves, or those they choose, from mental attacks. When you're in tune with it, it's like a red haze around you, coming straight from her. Because of this, Maria was delighted with her, and let her live past the usual newborn age for the sole purpose of gaining the upper hand with the other covens. I was frustrated at this because I couldn't understand how a newborn could have so much control without even really thinking about it. I had to train her daily, and train her I did. With her lack of wild and frenzied antics, she could be an easy target. To protect her, I begrudgingly helped her.

"Soon though… I grew unhappy. Bella and I had become fast friends, her learning capabilities were fast, and her compassion was astounding. She was fiercely devoted, but arrogance escaped her. Compared to Maria, one of the only females I really had much contact with, this was a big change."

"Were you close to Maria?" I asked curiously, surprised to hint a slight taste of jealousy in the back of my mouth. Jasper's lip twitched up a little at my question, but I ignored his action and waited for a response.

"No, were weren't close like that. She needed me, and I needed her. She gave me the direction to channel myself, and I gave her victory. She grew to hate Bella though, when she realized how close I'd gotten to her. I recognized the signs from how she'd behaved before she'd killed Lucy and Nettie, and I prepared to run away with Bella."

"Did you love Bella?" I interrupted unintentionally, curious as to why he had such a fond smile on his face.

"She was like a sister to me, Alice. She gave me humanity in the face of nothing but death. When everyone was killing around us, she'd sometimes stop and look at me, pain in her eyes. Pain only I could feel. She didn't like the idea of so much death. But she fought out of respect for me, and I fought to protect her. She was more of a scout, always searching ahead and only attacking if something came straight for me, or straight for her. I taught her everything she should know, and she executed perfectly. She was one of my best fighters. For who she was, I couldn't let Maria kill her.

"We planned our runaway perfectly. The night we were leaving, there was a distraction that one of my friends had unintentionally caused. My friend, Peter, was running away with a woman he had fallen in love with, a woman by the name of Charlotte. Charlotte was a newborn, and was supposed to have died that night, but as they created a distraction to go away, Bella and I were able to leave as well." Looking up at the shadows of the trees, Jasper's eyes were glazed with memory, and I felt bad that he was reliving this, just to explain things to me. The moon was filtering vaguely through the trees, hiding his scars, but I could almost picture them gliding across his skin, vampires' deadly teeth piercing in anger and madness. I shivered.

"Was it hard to leave Maria?" I asked after a few more moments of silence. Jasper looked down, smiling.

"No. I didn't even look back. The idea of a different life away from all of that death… it was beautiful. We unintentionally met up with Peter and Charlotte, and we stayed together for a small while. Still… it wasn't enough. You have to understand, feeling emotions isn't an on and off switch… it's always there. Even in their last moments of death… it's there. And I felt it. Bella hated seeing me like that, and the day I decided to find my own way, she decided to find her own way too.

"We left in different directions, Bella promising to find me when she saw hope, and I promising the same. I looked back that time as I left."

"Where did you go?" I looked out into the gloom of the forest, surprised to see lights from a house shining in the bleakness of the early morning hours.

"I went north, traveling mainly around the northern Americas, dabbling near Alaska, Canada… it was such a different life here than the southern states that it was almost like a dream." He grinned wistfully as he saw the lights as well. "Sometimes, that's what I'd think was happening. Vampires can't sleep, you see, but sometimes… I'd think that I'd wake up, and I'd be a human, repeating to myself over and over, 'it was just a dream, it was just a dream…'"

"But it wasn't." I reminded him softly, nodding. Laughing, he gave my shoulder a slight squeeze, helping me over another fallen log.

"No, it wasn't. And then… I met Carlisle. I met his family, and I was introduced into this life. Living off of animals isn't easy, and it's never truly satisfying… but it's enough. The idea of it… gave me hope. Hope that Bella and I had searched for, for so long. After a few years of trying the new diet of self control and strictly animals, I set off to track her down, knowing she'd love the proposition as much as I thought it was too good to be true.

"When I found her, she had been looking for me too, crestfallen. As I took her back to the Cullen family, Rosalie and Emmett had returned from their honeymoon, and we were able to meet all of them. I remember this so clearly, it was almost comical… Rosalie hated Bella with a passion, and Emmett reacted to that anger. My first day meeting him was the first day we had a wrestling match. Edward broke it up, explaining what was going on… but then he saw Bella, and it was all over. They were almost immediately in love."

"That's so cute!" I cut in, thinking about how they seemed so much in harmony with one another, their eyes always seeking each other out, their smiles lighting up the same way. Jasper laughed at my enthusiasm.

"I was going to leave them. Bella had found her home, and it was logical that I would merely inconvenience them. It completed the Cullen clan, and I didn't want to be the excess wheel. Traveling never truly bothered me. When I tried to leave though, Bella begged me to stay, and I was surprised when Esme and Carlisle asked as well. Emmett said he was tired of messing around with Edward, and Edward said he needed a break from someone like Emmett who was always looking for either a joke or a fight. Despite my worries about being able to keep their secret, I stayed with them."

"Why would you be worried about keeping the secret?" I asked after another bout of silence. Jasper had grown quiet, forehead wrinkled in thought and contemplation.

"Alice, my past… was far from nice. Vampires aren't usually thrust into the war and blood thirst the way they were where I was born. The control… the strength and self discipline… it was lost to me. It was thrown away. To have to suddenly use something I was trained to forget… it's still hard for me. Humans all smell the same to me… they would all hit at the same frequency, the same temptation… until now." He laughed quietly to himself, a silent joke making him smile, and I frowned at his words.

"Until now?" I pressed, looking up at him warily. Jasper skillfully looked away, eyes on the slowly approaching house. Until now? What did he mean? What was he talking about?

"Alice… the first day I met you… I almost killed you." He said this slowly, refusing to look down at my face, probably trying to judge from my emotions how I was taking his statement. I couldn't help the shiver of fear from rippling down my back, but that was pure instinct. I had already known that the first day it had happened. Sensing my lack of a gasp and scream, Jasper chanced a peek at my face, eyes unreadable in the shadows.

"I figured that when I kept seeing visions of my death, but no reason behind it." I explained, folding my arms. Something was pressing at the back of my head, saying something was off, but I couldn't name it. My words had reminded me of something, but of what?

"You… you did? And you didn't run?" He asked incredulously, skirting to my other side as we hit the large expanse of the lawn.

"I couldn't see a reason why not to…" I was surprised when he suddenly stopped walking, turning to grab my shoulders in shock.

"You see yourself dying and you didn't care?!" He snapped, fingers digging lightly into my skin. I nodded, still trying to find out what was bothering me. What was so important that I couldn't remember it?

"I've seen worse. Insane asylum, remember? It's not like we're raised there with a sense of 'I want to live'. You live there with a sense of survival in order to not die, not the desire to live." I poked his arm to remind him of his stone-like grip, and chagrined at my statement, he let go. Frowning at my emotions, he let me continue walking towards the house, asking hesitantly as I did so,

"What's wrong?" I shrugged, frowning at the tickling in my mind. It was like something was forcing itself in, and I shook my head.

"I don't know- it's like I need to remember something but-" My statement was cut off by a scream, and I then buckled to the ground as my visions consumed me completely.

* * *

_Gah!! What's happened? Well, I know what's happened, but do you? No... so, the only way to find out is to... yes, review! :D I know, I know. My cliffhangars will be the death of me. Meh, I try! Anywho, I'll update soon!_


	23. Tengo Miedo

_Hey, it's me again! Sorry for the delay, but it gets crazy here sometimes! Not an excuse, but it's what happens! It's snowing here in the little state of Georgia, the first and only snow of the winter, and it's the first of MARCH!! I would be out playing in it, but I decided that I should update. Thanks for everyone who reviewed, it made my day!! This will be slightly filleresque, but it's a transition, still important and has substantial information! Anywho, let's try for twenty five reviews, and we'll go from there!_

_Oh, and any grammatical past, present, and future tenses in this chapter are all intentional! It's to cause the confusion, and show the trouble she has from discerning which is which. _

_Enjoy!_

_

* * *

  
_

"_Alice, are you going to be ok?" _

"_I- I don't know… I can't wake up from the visions sometimes."_

"_What do you mean?" _

"_When… if something happens that… will affect me in any way physically…its kind of like its happening already in my mind."_

"_So, if you were going to be in a car wreck…?" _

"_I've never seen that before, but I guess, not really."_

"_Then what was that spell about?"_

"_I… something's happened that's going to make me hurt all the time."_

"_I'll never let anything happen to you."_

"_Because we, as insane asylum patients, have so much control as to what happens to us." _

"_I'm serious, Alice, I'd never let you hurt." _

"_Thanks for the gesture, I guess." _

"_What, don't you believe me?" _

"_One of these days, I'm not going to wake up from that spell, as you call it. What then? One of these days, it's going to completely overwhelm me, and I won't get up."_

"_You'll always be able to get back up. You just have to fight." _

"… _One of these days, I won't have the will to fight."_

* * *

_I was screaming, writhering on the floor. Dust motes danced innocently around me, ignoring the sick sound of my agony._

"Carlisle!! Help, I don't know what's wrong!" _There was a crashing in the background, the sound of metal tearing against metal assaulting my ears. _

"She's going into cardiac arrest, Jasper, what happened?" _Shouting was echoing around me, the sound worsening, and as a spasm of fire arched along my back, sending me to my side, whimpering. Where was the fire coming from?_

"She- I- she just collapsed! I don't- I didn't do anything!" _Something was tugging at me, the visions splitting my mind in two, and I was sent flying as something barreled into me. _Something cold pressed against my forehead, and pried my eye open. I was aware of seeing too many things at once, my mind gripping me away from the concerned faces I sensed were hovering over me, and I jerked away, but something held me still, the sound of hushed voices slicing my ears.

"We'll need to call him; he's the only one who knows what's going on."

_"What, can't save her?" The taunting music made my blood burn, and there was a roar that echoed along with it, the crashing noise continuing. Something was grabbing my arm, dragging me, pulling me away from the heat, but I jerked away, unsure of my surroundings. I could vaguely see a shadow above me, staring down, something about them making me jerk away. They weren't good. _

"What, and make her go through that all over again?" This voice hissed and spit, but was fiercely protective. "He can't be here, he might make it worse!" My eyelids flickered as I tried to open my eyes to see who it was.

_"Get away from her." There was a crash overhead, and two blurs flew to my left, making me scramble away to my right, the flames engulfing me entirely, leeching my strength from me. I felt like someone had doused me in kerosene, the emotions raging too high for me to stop them. _

"How can we stop her heart's pace, Carlisle?" _Something wrenched me away from my crawl, pulling me back and cradling me against a cold frame. A shadow hovered over me, protective, hissing in my ear. _

"We can't give her any medicine, not until we know what we need to do!"

_"Just let her change; she's meant to be like us." I felt the sensation of falling, and then my arm was engulfed in pain, the fire racing towards it like a sadistic leech, ripping me apart from the inside out. I groaned something, opening my eyes to see two blurs fighting over me, their growls rippling across the room. _

"What are you-"

"He's here to help." _I was struggling away from the fray, my hands finding purchase on the slippery surface as the inferno raged around me. _

"This is like before… she's repressed her visions too much… what happened?"

_"She'll never be like us." There was a roaring as the enemy attacked, and I flinched away from the heat, cradling my arm and willing the fire inside of me away. The tears fell faster. _

"Being around the werewolves… it killed her power. It must have rebooted or something… an overload." _There was someone calling to me, their voice perfect, their intentions good. I smiled at that voice, scrambling towards it, still cradling my arm tenderly. _

"When it's repressed in any way, it will do this. Just like before…" The voice was choked, and I felt something touch my forehead again. _They were calling to me, a siren's call that I scrambled towards. As I struggled past the pain, something grabbed me from behind, wrenching me away from safety. A terrible roar followed._

"What are we going to do?"

"She'll either lost complete mental stability… or she'll fight it." There was a low hiss, and then a thick silence.

_"You don't belong like this… you deserve so much more." Something tickled my ear, made my stomach convulse, and my muscles lock. The fire spread, sending me crashing to the floor._

"What do you mean, fight it?" This tone was tense, sickening. I felt something grip my wrist, and I weakly pushed it away.

_"What are you doing?!" The fire rages around me, and I hear the crashing of someone fighting. I open my eyes to see someone peering down at me, concerned and worried. It's just a shadow though, and I close my eyes._

"The last time this happened, she gave in. She was in a coma for a month before resurfacing in an almost vegetable state. She could move, walk, sometimes talk, but it was like she wasn't really there anymore. The visions consumed her."

"And what do you suppose would help to fix it?" This voice was cold, terrible. I flinched and something grasped my hand.

"I'm not sure. The last time, it was her coming to terms with her gift. This is… her mind will need to-"

"How long, doctor."

"I don't know." _I was crying, the tears falling down my cheeks slowly, but surly. This was where I was going to die. This was where I would finally embrace the one thing that I fought against my entire life. Insanity. Death. Chaos. I wouldn't fight the smile that graced my lips as I closed my eyes to welcome death with open arms. _

_"NO!"_

"What's happening?" _Something held me near._

"She's having muscle spasms, get me the valium!" _I fought to get away._

"What's happening with the pulse?" _They pressed tighter, whispering nothings in my ear._

"It's spiking too high, something's causing trauma-" _Why wouldn't they let me be?_

"Get her a different sedative then!" _The fire spikes and I cry out in pain. _

"I'm trying; she's having a-" _Something rushes about me, and then silence._

"Her pulse is lowering-" _The fire recedes._

"It's too low!" _My fingers are cold._

"What's going on?" _My heart beat is fading_

"We're losing her-" _The pain rips open my heart._

"_Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."_

_And then, darkness._

* * *

_"Beep-"_

"How's she doing?"

_"Beep-"_

"The medicine is working fine. Her heart beat is regular and the valium is keeping her relaxed."

_"Beep-"_

"That's good, a lot better than before. What's he doing there?"

_"Beep-"_

"Who, Jasper? He hasn't left her side since."

_"Beep-"_

"What's he waiting on?"

_"Beep-"_

"Her to wake up."

_"Beep-"_

"That can take weeks, maybe even months. Why's he doing this? He can't feel guilty for this happening… its natural."

_"Beep-"_

"He'd feel guilty anyway. He loves her."

_"Beep-"_

"… I see… and does she feel the same?"

_"Beep-"_

"I'm not sure... I'm not the one who can feel the emotions around me. You'd have to ask him, but he hasn't talked since she passed out."

_"Beep-" _

"What if she never wakes up? Doesn't he understand that this could be permanent?"

_"Beep-"_

"Are you sure you'd be ok with that, Dr. Brandon?"

_"Beep-"_

"I'd come to terms with it, somehow… he would stay with her that long?"

_"Beep-"_

"Yes… yes I daresay he would."

_"Beep-"_

* * *

_"Why did you bite your friends?" She slid her fingers through the small opening in the paneling, pulling it open and letting him crawl through the hole. Even at the age of fourteen, he was still skinny and able to crawl through the ventilation shaft. The old videos weren't being recorded since the asylum couldn't afford the constant surveillance charges, so there wasn't any risk of him being caught. _

_"I wasn't sure what it would take for me to change." He flashed a grin at her, settling down on her bed and shrugging. His aura was strange, almost like a sickening red haze around him, and his arrogance leaked from his words. She shrugged it off, settling onto the table in the middle of the room. _

_"You thought drinking your friend's blood would make you become a vampire?" She asked incredulously, crisscrossing her legs daintily. He observed her with dark eyes, the gaze probing. She stared back openly, taking in his too skinny appearance. _

_"I've met vampires before, Alice." He told her conversationally, and she nodded despite the doubt in her mind. _

_"What happened?" She asked to be a good sport. He rolled his eyes at her tone, but answered anyway._

_"They were going to kill me, but when one of them sensed that I wanted that, he stopped." He grinned to himself, looking up at the ceiling. "I almost got to be a vampire. They threw me away though, despite me asking them to change me."_

_"Why would you want to be that?" She asked, wrinkling her nose at the thought of being a vampire. Drinking blood to live… she shuddered._

_"You've never seen them, so it's understandable…" He chuckled. "They're beautiful down to the last hair on their head. They're strong, fast, durable… immortal. Why wouldn't you want to be one?" He rolled his eyes again, this time the sarcasm directed at her. _

_"They drink blood." She said pointedly, pushing the hair from her eyes. _

_"Ah, it's not so bad. I've had it before, remember? A little rusty, but it's an acquired taste." He grinned brightly at the idea, turning his head to scrutinize her. _

_"Have they been feeding you?" He asked suddenly, his stance visibly becoming rigid as his gaze roamed over her face. Feeling slightly self conscious, she looked down. _

_"Yes," She said defensively, tracing the lining on the table, "I just haven't been hungry." He stood up, crossing the distance between them with a purpose, steps light and quick. Reaching her, he lightly touched her chin and made her look up at him, dark eyes dangerous. _

_"You need to eat." He said slowly like he was talking to a child. She pulled away from his grip, glaring. _

_"I'll do what I want. When I eat the food here… it's like I can't see my visions sometimes." She looked back up at him, pulling her knees up to her chin and glaring. He regarded her seriously for a second, a small smile crawling over his face as her words soaked in. _

_"What have you seen for me?" He asked as he slowly sauntered back to her bed, falling onto it with a soft thud. She shrugged, feeling a little stupid. _

_"Not a lot." She confessed. "The farther along I try to go… it's like it gets fuzzier and fuzzier." He laughed lightly, the tone condescending but she didn't care. He was one of the only ones who were sane like she was. Well… in a manner of speaking. _

_"If you could pinpoint how far along you go in your vision, you could tell me when they were planning to change me." He leaned back, head hitting her pillow lightly and the same sardonic grin crossing his face. _

_"It changes a lot; believe me, I've tried." She laughed lightly as the smile changed from smug to hopeful, and he shot up so fast she felt slightly dizzy watching. _

_"You mean," He asked excitedly, "That they might come at any second?" He stood up, long adolescent legs carrying him back and forth from one end of the room to the other easily. She watched, amused. _

_"They might. But the warden's coming to check on you in five minutes. You'd better get back." She advised, hopping off of the table to lie back onto her bed. He looked at her, something sparking in his dark eyes that made her slightly uneasy. She repressed the feeling though, knowing it was just him thinking. _

_"Thanks for this." He said softly as he opened the grate to crawl through. She looked at him, slightly puzzled. _

_"For what? It's no problem." She flashed a grin, but it faltered at his strange expression. _

_"You don't deserve to be here. I can tell that just by looking at you. You're one of those good people. "He rolled his eyes, gesturing to himself. "Me? I'm a bad seed. Even if I didn't kill my friends, I'd have found my way here eventually. When they come for me… I'll ask them to change you too, ok? You can't stay here forever." He winked, but his mood was solemn. Giving a wave that she returned, he quickly disappeared, the slightly metallic thumping noise too soft for orderlies to worry about. _

_"Sure…" She repressed a shiver at the thought of vampires and such, knowing that if they had truly wanted him changed, they would have done it long ago. "It wouldn't be so bad, would it?" She told the white washed walls of her room, nodding to herself. It didn't stop the goosebumps from rising on the back of her neck. _

* * *

_"Beep-"_

"You're going to wake up soon." His voice was soft, clipped, sad, but sure. He held her hand tightly, careful not to crush her fingers, but making sure to have his thumb on her wrist to feel her pulse, strong and steady. It kept him anchored there.

_"Beep-"_

"And when you do, I'll be right here for you." He looked over her lax face, seeing the slight worry lines between her brows. Reaching up, he traced over them, willing them away. She was too young, too good to have to worry.

_"Beep-" _

"I know you don't trust me fully yet. I can feel it- you're unsure. But that's ok." He smiled softly and pulled her hand to his face. Kissing the knuckles lightly, he grazed them over his cheek, happy to note that the burn didn't make him break the chair resisting.

_"Beep-"_

"I'll prove to you that we can be together." He smiled, and relished in the slight warmth her hand gave. Something so meaningless to others was so important for him.

_"Beep-"_

"And what if she doesn't want to be with you?" He had to control himself and not snap at the man in the doorway who watched with an unreadable expression. His mood was amused, but terribly worried. Despite his cool exterior, he was so twisted up on the inside it almost made the one holding her hand dizzy.

_"Beep-"_

"Then I'll be the best friend she ever wanted." He vowed, looking back at her soft, innocent features. Some people were never meant to be hurt, and she was one of them. Why then?

_"Beep-"_

"And if she doesn't want to be friends?" He looked back at the man in the doorway, glaring. If he wasn't feeling the doctor's emotions, he would have sworn he was trying to push him away from her. Repressing a snarl, he shook his head. The doctor wouldn't win this game.

_"Beep-"_

"Then I'll be the best protector. Whether she wants it or not, I'll never let her hurt again." He said softly, looking from the doctor to the girl. Her skin was pale, paler than usual, and worriedly he pressed a hand to her cheek, wishing he could warm her instead of chill her. She breathed lightly against his hand, and he smiled despite himself.

_"Beep-"_

"What do you see in her?" The doctor asked skeptically, walking farther into the room. He watched the boy fussing around her, fixing pillows and whatnot, and he couldn't help the surge of jealousy rushing through him. The boy froze, looking up at him with dark eyes, lips pursed.

_"Beep-"_

"Green doesn't look good on you, doctor." He said slowly, regarding him with dark eyes. That's what this was about? Jealousy because he was the one holding her hand? He would have laughed, if the situation called for it.

_"Beep-"_

"No," The doctor agreed quietly, nodding to himself, "It's not." He laughed quietly, making the boy stand up slowly, positioning himself easily in a defensive posture that seemed almost like a normal stance, but not.

_"Beep-"_

"And yet, you're wearing it in large amount." He told the doctor with a frown, not liking the look he gave her. "I'm not one for fashion, but I hear that too much of one things isn't always a good thing." They regarded one another, testing the waters for a few silent moments before the doctor sighed, turning slightly away.

_"Beep-"_

"I can't help it; she looks at you with understanding and compassion. She looks at me-"

_"Beep-"_

"Like you've done something wrong." He finished for him, nodding. It made sense. From what Edward had mentioned, and from Carlisle's spoken observations, there was a far from friendly past between them. Any threat to her made his lips pull over his teeth, and he held her hand again.

_"Beep-"_

"I know. I'd love to tell her though. I'd love to tell her the truth." He smiled fondly, looking back at him, the fear rising around him like a fast tide. He blanched at the sensation of the bitter emotion, sinking into the chair again; eyes steady despite the feeling of falling.

_"Beep-"_

"You're scared to." He said factually, nodding. The doctor turned away, frowning. Looking back at him, his glare became a little more pronounced, and the envy rose a little more.

_"Beep-"_

"I can't afford to be scared." He snapped, turning to flee the room with what dignity he had left.

_"Beep-"_

He let a silent sigh slip from his lips as he turned back to her, the empty feeling returning as the silence pressed on. Her chest rose and fell with each breath she took, and feeling risky, he leaned in, pulling her wrist up and inhaling softly. The sensation of losing control leaked into his mind as venom pooled onto his tongue, but he stayed put. He took another breath, her scent tickling his nose and pulling him closer, a low growl pressing against his lungs. He didn't move though, feet pressed firmly against the ground, digging in slightly but otherwise motionless.

_"Beep-"_

Smiling against her skin, he pressed a kiss against her pulse, inhaling once more.

_"Beep-"_

* * *

_He smiled at her, looking up through messy black hair. His probing eyes made her shiver in her sweatshirt, and she ducked her head, taking a bite of her roll to stem the feelings in the pit of her stomach. Next to her, Henry the Paranoid boy in cell 14 ate quickly, eyes darting everywhere, fingers shaking. His medicine hadn't kicked in yet. She could feel the medicine in the back of her head, numbing her visions, forcing them away. _

_"What's wrong?" He mouthed, the smile fading slightly, his head tilting slowly to one side, frowning. She shook her head slowly, looking back down and then up again as an orderly walked past, fake concerned face replaced with one of annoyance. Her shift was ending soon, and she wanted to go home. _

_"Alice, what's wrong?" He whispered, leaning in slightly. His smell of clean soap with a hint of male ruggedness, washed over her, and the vision came back, forcing the medicine away. It did that, sometimes. There was no medicine that could force the future away. You couldn't stop things like that. _

_"Nothing's wrong… my head hurts a little, that's all." She whispered back, plucking at the roll with her fingers. Looking back up at him, another shiver rushed down her spine._

_"No talking, freaks." The orderly snapped, and he turned to look up at her, smiling in a way that made the blood freeze in Alice's veins. That smile was deadly. Shaking her head, the vision intensified, and she bit the groan of mortal terror from her lips. _

_"What… did you say?" He asked calmly, the sick grin widening slightly. Standing up, his tall and skinny frame stood impressively over the little orderly's squat appearance, and his slender hands slowly clenched into fists. _

_"I said, no talking, freaks. That goes for you, and your mental girlfriend over there." The orderly jabbed a finger towards Alice, and Alice whimpered as the vision grew clearer. Shaking her head, she bit her lip. The grin on his face widened, and he raised a hand slowly, tugging at a stray strand near his ear. _

_"So you think we're freaks?" He asked quietly, leaning in. The orderly nodded, pushing him with a warning shake of her head. As she did though, Alice cried out, the vision taking place before her very eyes. _

_He grabbed the orderly's hand, yanking her forward with all the force of the pent-up anger in a teenage boy. Wrenching her head back, he snarled in victory as he plunged his teeth against her throat, covering her mouth with his hand as she screamed. Alice reeled back, the chair clattering to the floor as she struggled to get away, the other children's wails growing as they registered what happened. The intercom buzzed to life and other orderlies rushed in, their shouts coalescing with the screams of fear and panic. Something was tugging at her, and Alice was dragged to her feet, watching in horror as he was pried away from the lady's neck, blood flowing freely. He was fighting, struggled, yelling something over the crashing din of pandemonium, and his crazed, dark eyes found her wide, fearful ones. _

_"All for you." He mouthed, teeth stained red. The pulled him away, someone grabbing his arms and the others grabbing his legs. As Dr. Brandon tugged her away from the scene, she let tears fall from her eyes, her shoulders shaking. She hadn't realized it had been taken that far- that he'd- it couldn't be, could it?_

_"Alice, it's ok, it'll be ok." Dr. Brandon soothed, pulling her away quickly, walking down the hall with a purpose. She stumbled after him, not believing his words, his actions. As they reached her room, she stumbled in, pushing her doctor away as she walked over to the vent, kicking it to dent it. She couldn't let him come back, she couldn't let him get to her, never again. _

_"Alice, what's wrong? What's happening?" His concerned face tore her up, and the tears fell faster. _

_"He," She sobbed, hands shaking, "he wants to do that to me! He's planning it; he wants me to be- to be like him! I can't- he can't- I won't let him!" She cried, shaking her head and wiping her eyes. Her visions swirled darkly in her mind, and she saw herself in that position, his head at her neck, her face contorted in pain. _

_In her mind, his eyes were blood red._

* * *

_So, yeah... own or fail? :D Hope you enjoyed!_


	24. Me Despierto

_I'm back from the dead!!_

_Well... not really dead, but close enough... over two months and no response? Really?! I know, I know, you hate me... and that's ok! Because I finally updated!!! YAY ME! You can hate me, but just let me know the extent of your hatred so I can find a way to fix it... well, updating sooner would fix that, but you know what I mean :)_

_My reasoning for an internet death? Well... terrible flat tire on the drive to update with something... I had no inspiration! So... when I finally got it, I couldn't get it to sound right. And then, my computer died. So, now I have a nicer computer with freaking 250 gig hard drive!! YAY!!_

_Anywho, _

_I'll try to update sooner... I was going over this and I realized just how much I missed this story. I like it!_

_I know, I know, if I love it so much, why wait so long to update? I don't know... no excuse, really...._

_Enjoy!_

_

* * *

  
_

_I couldn't sleep at night for two weeks._

_Of course, there were little dozing spells I'd have where I'd sleep for ten minutes and then jolt awake, panicked and sweating, but other than that I was ragged and raw, falling over the edge, and paranoid. When the exhaustion finally threw me overboard, I would pass out randomly, my body forcing me to sleep against my will. Dr. Brandon stayed with me for longer than usual, trying to get the full truth out of me, but he didn't hold much stock in my visions, so how could I explain that the one person in the asylum that truly believed me also wanted to rip my throat out so we could be together?_

_That much was so clear, it was unclear. It wasn't just that he wanted me to be changed like he wanted to be; he wanted to be the one to do it. Something in his mind, something buried deep beneath the medicine and the doctor's analysis was actually twisted and broken, something that would have put him here even if he hadn't tried to kill his friends. He was right; even without the murder's he'd committed, he was insane. _

_But, he was my friend. In a sick, twisted way, he listened to me when no one else would, and he kept after me like no one else did. If it weren't for the fact he wanted me dead and craving blood, he'd be a good person to me. But that idea was stomped down with the image of him mouthing, 'all for you,' blood on his lips, depths of insanity swirling in his eyes._

_I was silent. I couldn't eat; the food had no interest to me. My stomach roiled at the thought of him trying to talk to me, and I was glad to hear from David during activity hours that the woman was fine, but had resigned. At least she hadn't died. _He_ was in solitary confinement, and I wouldn't have to see him. _

_Of course, he found a way to me anyway. _

_It was dark. I was wide awake, staring at the ceiling and trying to get my future in order, trying to stay awake, trying not to close my eyes and see him stalking towards me quietly, a small smile on his face as he watched me. I tried not to see how he would look over me, leaning in slightly with a concerned look on his face, opening his mouth to reveal teeth, sharp and white-_

_When I blinked, he was standing over me, worry making him frown. I shot away from him so fast I hardly had any time to breathe, my feet finding purchase on the itchy sheets and thin blanket. By the time I had fully registered what had happened, I was across the room, breathing haggardly, eyes fixated on his confused, hurt face. _

_"Alice?" He asked me, head cocked to the side. "What's wrong?" He took a step towards me, hands out in front of him to make it seem like he was trying to make peace, but I shook my head and he stopped walking after he silently deliberated my actions. _

_"What- what are you doing here?" I stammered, trying to find my voice. He tilted his head the other way, and then slowly pointed towards the vent where the grate had been set aside, showing the dents where my foot had made the weak, cheap metal give in. _

_"When I noticed that, I assumed something was wrong. What's gotten into you?" He asked, stepping towards me with a little more confidence when I didn't bolt. I felt cornered, scared, haggard, panicked. I was the prey, backed into the corner. He didn't seem to be in for the kill though. I saw what he was going to do and I shuddered not from fear for my life, but for what would happen if- no, it couldn't be… could it?  
"Nothing's gotten into me." I said, avoiding his gaze. He frowned, shaking his head. _

_"I can tell when you're lying, Alice. Is it what happened at dinner that one night?" He asked, a small, encouraging smile on his face. I bit my lip, deliberating my answer, trying to see the outcome. _

_"I… I was startled." I finally let out as he stopped right in front of me, leaning to the side against the small table in my room. My heart rate increased, and I fervently hoped someone could see that he had escaped. He nodded, thoughtful. _

_"I want you to understand something, Alice." He said after a moment of silence. The sick look came over his face, and I closed my eyes, trying to see ahead. "She… she wasn't important. She also insulted you, you who is important. She's not in the bigger picture, but you- you are." I could see his grin on his face before he had even thought about wearing it. "You were meant for things… and we're going to do them together." I opened my eyes, hearing the words fall from his lips in reality seconds after hearing them in my mind. My shock was early, and he knew something was up before he had even finished speaking. _

_"I- I don't think-"_

_"Stop dancing around what you want to say!" He snapped, slamming his fist against the table, making me wince. The anger contorted his face into something sick and fierce, and I couldn't help the terror that rose like a tide at the sight. "Just tell me straight and true, Alice of room number 84, abhorred because of her talents, cast away because of faults out of her control; are you with me?" He was staring at me, and I could see how careful I'd have to be. If I said yes, I'd lose my sanity. If I said no, I'd die. He wouldn't need me anymore. He wouldn't want me. There was something in his eyes, something so sick and twisted I didn't really have to use my visions to tell he would attack. My lungs pressed my heart against my ribs as I took a deep breath._

_"With you for what?" I asked after a moment of deadened silence. His smile grew slowly, the strange look leaving the depths of his eyes. I was safe… for now._

_"That's better. For a second, I thought you were going to be just like them." His smile became calm, neutral, natural. It was better than the sick, looming smile he had before he attacked. I tried to pull myself away from the future in order to focus on the present, but his ideas were ranging too fast for me to keep up with. _

_"Just like who?" I asked tentively, deciding to play along. Until I could get to Dr. Brandon to alert the people, I'd act like everything was ok. _

_"Just like the crazies in here who can't see the bigger picture. Those who cling to the doctors who tell them they're wrong. But you're not wrong, and I'm not wrong." He stepped forward again, and grabbing my shoulders, he pulled me to him in a hug. "And because of that, I'm going to keep a very close eye on you to make sure nothing happens."_

_

* * *

  
_

"_Beep-"_

The noise wasn't what woke me. It wasn't the sunlight streaming through the windows, and it wasn't the comfortable sheets beneath me. It wasn't the cold hand that held my fingers lightly in their grasp. It was the whispering, the soft voice that lulled me from my visions and back into the real world.

"I'll stay with her." It was smooth and clipped but kind and gentle. I vaguely recognized it, but I couldn't place it. It was like the voice of an angel, if an angel could sound exasperated. It sounded a little older, a little more aged.

_"Beep-"_

"No, it's fine. I'm staying with her." This voice was lower, smoother, and a bit more calming. My visions spiraled around my mind at his tone. His words were a little painful, like he wasn't sure how to say it without sounding rude.

"You've been here for three days. You need to hunt, and she's not going to wake up if you leave for a day." There was a dull humor in his words, and vaguely I recognized that it was a he. I shifted slightly, my eyes too heavy to open to see who it was. The cold hand that was holding my left hand softly tightened at my action, and then there was a sigh from somewhere to my right. Or were they holding my right hand and someone sighing on my left? It was hard to say; my sense of direction was skewed. My body felt heavier than lead and I was sure that if I tried to move too much it wouldn't work. What had happened to me? There was a soft chuckle above me from the one who wanted the other to hunt. Hunt what?

_"Beep-"_

"So she moved. It's not cause for you to panic. It could be reaction to nerves or something from her vision." The voice sounded like it wanted to believe that it was wrong, and the person holding my hand laughed a dry, low laugh.

_"Beep-"_

"I'll keep that in mind, doctor." The humor was still present in his tones, and I smiled despite myself. What was so funny to them? There was a collective gasp, and I frowned. Now what was wrong? Blearily, I forced my eyes open, banishing the visions from my mind sluggishly.

"Oh!" I gasped and shut my eyes, shoving my hands over my face. Right above me, hovering almost, were two pale beings, their worried faces very close to mine. One was a stark contrast from the other in the sense that black eyes clashed with indigo eyes that sent a jolt through my system. The premonitions scattered, bouncing around my vision and I saw myself able to sit up and eat soon if I could open my eyes again.

_"Beep-"_

"… Alice? Are you ok?" The tone was slightly amused but still a little worried, and I peeked through my fingers to see both of them backed away a considerable bit, the indigo eyed vampire at the edge of my bed and the black eyed one on my left, sitting on the edge of his chair, dark eyes probing my facial expression. Sluggishly, the name entered my mind around the haze, and I brought my hands down, feeling childish.

_"Beep-"_

"I… I think so- Jasper? I… what's going on?" I asked unsteadily, my tongue feeling heavy in my mouth. Vaguely I recalled that another person was at the edge of the bed, watching me, but I ignored them. As their named floated around my mind, I repressed it, trying to focus on staying upright. I could feel myself swaying slightly, unsteadily.

"Oh, Alice, I'm so glad you're alright." He whispered, grabbing my hand and holding it, a small smile taking over his face. I couldn't help but feel happiness, pure and true, radiate throughout my mind, and I smiled back, knowing it was because of him that I felt it, despite the sluggishness in my mind.

"I'm glad too." I replied, the smile still on my face despite the blurring and meshing thoughts in my head. Something wouldn't let me feel the pain, like it was blocking the bad things away, and I squeezed his hand in return, my own personal bi-polar mood monitor.

"I- you passed out… from the visions. He- Dr. Brandon… he said that you… wouldn't make it." Jasper looked down, his eyes flickering towards the indigo eyed vampire at the edge of the bed and then back to me, a frown in place. I looked warily over at Dr. Brandon, his stoic face kindling slight anger in me.

"He's always been the optimist." I replied coolly, turning back to look at Jasper, surprised at the intensity of the look in his eyes. "How… long was I out this time?"

"This time?" He echoed my statement, turning to look at Dr. Brandon with slight disgust on his face.

"Yeah, this has happened a lot." I looked down at the tubes taped to my skin, frowning at the way it made me feel trapped. Looking back up at Dr. Brandon though, I saw just from the look on his face that no complaining would fix this. He was going to keep me here until he got to talk to me. He would try it when Jasper wasn't around, my guess. He was always like that, trying to make me understand, even when I didn't want to.

"For what it's worth… I'm glad you're ok." He said in his low, calming voice, and before I could blink his hand had found its way to my face, sliding over it slowly, almost like he was scared of breaking me. The cold, hard skin felt almost silky soft to me, easing the stress from my muscles. Frowning, I pulled away, thoughts muddled. I don't know exactly what me and jasper were, but I needed time to think of that before I jumped in. Too much had happened for me to abandon all thought and pray for it to work out.

"So am I… that vision was all too real." I agreed, playing it off as nothing. Dr. Brandon cleared his throat, and I knew things were about to get down to business.

"Speaking of which… Alice, what was the vision about?" Dr. Brandon asked me in a no nonsense voice. Whether I liked him or not, this was of importance. Visions only took me under like that when it was almost set in stone, about to happen sort of thing.

"It was about… me changing." I replied, glancing around to check the general reactions in the room. Jasper's face remained stoic, but I could see by the weird glint in his eyes that he didn't like how I had worded it. There wasn't any question what I meant when I said, 'changing'. Dr. Brandon cleared his throat awkwardly, his way of showing embarrassment.

"Do you know who your attacker was in your vision?" Jasper asked me, the tone in his voice different from before. Instead of a soft, delicate sound it became more of a rough texture like he was trying to hold back anger.

"I… yes." I shook my head up and down slowly, the face popping up, unbidden, in my mind. The hollowed eyes, the probing gaze, the dark black hair surrounding a pale face… his haunted way of looking at me… it was someone that you couldn't forget, even if you tried. How can you forget such a stare? How can anyone forget the twisted, cruel look in his eyes?

"Alice," I wasn't aware that I hadn't elaborated on who it was that I saw. Jasper's tone was kind, but worried, and Dr. Brandon's stare was all too penetrating. "Alice, who was it that you saw?" I couldn't control the slightly hysterical laughter that bubbled from my stomach and into the air. I could feel my lips trembling, and as I clasped my hands, they shook.

"It wasn't in the vision that I saw him… it was in my dreams." I looked up at Dr. Brandon, praying he would understand. There was a tense silence, and then Dr. Brandon's grave look turned to one of understanding as it finally clicked as to who I was referring to.

_"Alice, you've got to talk to me." Dr. Brandon's grave face made me frown, his blue eyes piercing as he studied me. He knew something was up; of course he knew! I felt just like the rest of them, hands shaking, breath funny and distorted, why wouldn't he know? I let out a nervous laugh, lungs feeling like they'd lost too much oxygen at once. _

_"Talk about what?" I asked after I felt like I could say something without my voice quavering. His frown deepened, and he shook his head. _

_"You know exactly what I'm talking about. This episode has gone far enough." He informed me sternly, removing his glasses and closing his eyes. It was another sign of his agitation. _

_"What episode? The one that I'm in here for?" The words had been coached into me, the teacher one of the rarest kind; someone who taught by fear, not by interest. He had me right where he wanted me, and it sickened me that I felt like I had no other choice._

_"This isn't like you. You've been out of sorts ever since…" His voice trailed off and his frown deepened as he thought of something. Twisting his glasses in one hands, he observed me, taking in my too thin appearance and haunted gaze. I stared back, daring him to figure it out, daring him to try and help like the man was paid to do. Help?! Help who?!_

_"Alice…" I smiled up at him, eyebrow raised, half of me mocking, the other half cringing away from this conversation. If he figured this out, I was dead. I was dead if someone caught onto __his__ plans because the only other person who knew __his__ plans was _me_. _

_"Yes?" I simpered, ever the great actress. Something on my face, something in my eyes clicked to him, and before I could take a full breath he was standing up, crossing the distance between us and lifting me up, eyes narrowed as he searched my face, something akin to fear and fury radiating off of him. Seeing his conclusion, half of me cheered inwardly while the other half once again cringed. This wasn't going according to plan. _

_"What has that __thing__ done to you?" He asked, voice hitting a raspy note. I didn't let the shock register on my face as he spoke something completely different from what my vision said he would. How could he do that? Why didn't I hear the words, _"We're going to help you get through this, Alice"?

_"I… what?" I stared at him, something cold and icy breaking through my gut as he did almost the opposite of what my vision said. Settling himself on the chair I had just been sitting in, he hugged me, tucking my head underneath his chin, arms squeezing me tightly, like a father would. His sweater vest scratched my cheek with the wool texture, but I ignored the feeling. Something else was happening, something Dr. Brandon rarely showed me. _

_He acted like he truly cared. _

_"Alice, please… you've got to trust me. You've got to trust that I can help you, or I never can. Please… please don't shut me out." His tone scared me, the begging tone uncharacteristic of him, and I couldn't help the feeling of pity, remorse, and guilt rushing through me. My visions were scrambling, trying to find purchase on the slippery slope they'd just encountered, and I could merely hug him back tightly, fingers digging into his doctor coat. _

_"I'm scared." I whispered. And I felt it. The embarrassing feeling of fear, like I had nowhere else to go… like there wasn't anywhere to run to. Pulling back from me, Dr. Brandon stared into my eyes, the concentrated look making me a little dizzy. My visions depicted him pacing the room in frustration, but there was no motion from the real life doctor, save the bob of his head as he shook it. _

_"It's that boy." He said softly, and I nodded. How he knew, I didn't know, but one thing was for sure; at least now someone knew. _

_"I'll take care of it, Alice. He won't ever hurt you again."_

"You saw the boy from the insane asylum." It wasn't a question. Looking over at Dr. Brandon, I gave him a slow nod, trying to avoid the slight pressure on my hand as Jasper processed Dr. Brandon's words.

"He keeps coming back to me, no matter what I do. Memories… unbidden…" I frowned and scrambled for purchase on the surface I felt like I was slipping on.

"What boy?" Jasper asked, tone quieter than usual. Guiltily, I looked over at him, at his perfect face; perfect voice, perfect being, and I couldn't help but imagine how _he_ had wanted to be so much like this. The thought was disconcerting.

"He was a boy in the insane asylum that befriended me when no one else would." I carefully avoided specifics, but Dr. Brandon cleared his throat sternly.

"Tell him what he needs to know, Alice." He prodded me, making me roll my eyes at him. I didn't feel up to openly discussing the boy that haunted my dreams.

"He was sent to the insane asylum… because he had murdered his friends, trying to become a vampire." Looking up at Jasper's face, I watched as his jaw relaxed in shock, and then hardened in anger. It was amazing that such subtle motions I had barely noticed before were suddenly clear to me after really studying him.

"Keep going, Alice." Dr. Brandon wasn't going to let up. Glaring up at him, I folded my arms.

"Give me a second, Dr. Brandon." I snapped, glaring at him.

"She needs to be calmer, her pulse is speeding up." Jasper carefully reminded Dr. Brandon, subtly pushing the younger vampire away with his words alone. After a tense silence, I continued.

"He was one of the patients there… that actually needed to be watched. I hate to say this, but out of any of the patients at the asylum, he was the one that I feared the most."

"You feared him, yet you stuck with him?" Jasper eyed me speculatively. "I was right… you look for trouble." Resisting the urge to stick my tongue out, I merely gave him a look.

"The more we spent time together in our free hours, the more wild and reckless I'd be afterwards. It was like… some of him was rubbing off on me. As time went on though… things changed." I bit out the words, hating how they sounded. "He… truly believed in vampires while I truly didn't." I smirked at Jasper, raising an eyebrow. "He was always saying how they promised to come back for him… but slowly that statement changed to, 'and I'll get them to change you, too'. I didn't put any stock into that… but when he began attacking people, trying to drink their blood, I realized just how crazy he really was. When I tried to avoid him, it just… made things worse."

"What do you mean, made things worse?" Jasper asked in a deadly quiet voice. I shuddered.

"He figured it out, of course. How could he not? He was the one person who really believed in my visions. He could find ways to see when I was relying on them, and he'd begin changing his mind about things, deciding to go one way, and then another, and then confuse himself, thus confusing me. He scared me into staying quiet about his plan." I looked up at Dr. Brandon, face contorted into anger. "But before his plan could be properly met out, I was sent to a laboratory to have tests done on my brain." The words hissed from my lips, and I glared despite the chills of tranquility that I felt. There were just some emotions that you couldn't force down.

"Now Alice, I tried to-"

"So that's where that story ends. I'm not sure why I keep dreaming of him, but it caused some sort of reaction to my visions." I ignored the angry doctor, focusing instead on the thoughtful boy beside me, his gaze making me feel a little self conscious. Why was he looking at me like that? I couldn't help but stare back, trying to read him like he was trying to read me. What did he see when he looked at me? A messed up human girl? A twisted, weak psychic? I didn't know what he was thinking, and it bothered me that I couldn't see ahead to figure out what he would conclude from my stare.

"Alice, I can't hold this back from you any longer." Dr. Brandon was speaking, his voice guilty and consumed with something akin to awkward hesitance. Jasper's face whipped around to stare at him, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Much slower than he, I turned to give Dr. Brandon my slightly undivided attention.

"Yes?" I prompted him, waiting patiently. Clearing his throat, he looked down, a clear sign of guilt.

"You never knew how I'd been changed, did you?" I shook my head slowly, waiting for him to continue. "I was changed when you were 16 years old… at the insane asylum." Warning bells were ringing in the back of my head, but I pushed them away. "It was the day that the asylum was shut down for all of those deaths… an attack from a wild animal." I remembered the newspaper article, remembered the laughter in my mind at seeing the once proud and sick walls crumpled and dejected. "Alice… that boy was the one who changed me."

"W-… what?"

* * *

_Hit or miss? Review and tell!! I love you guys :)_


	25. Estoy Nada I

_Wow, I'm pretty bad at this whole updating quickly thing. It's just been hard to think of something that flows with the initial plot I've got in my head, you know?_

_So, I've made this simply awesome so that you can't hate me!_

_Well, you can, but that would suck. _

_I hate it when people hate me. Not fun, at all. _

_:D I love you guys! So patient and supportive!_

_

* * *

  
_

_Days passed by quickly. Minutes stretched and seconds lagged but days passed by quickly. I was numbed by his presence, thawed with Dr. Brandon's ever piercing stare. He was scared for me, scared for what I'd do. I was strangely unfeeling, my mind stuck on the idea that there was nothing I could do, so why try? I couldn't escape this place, couldn't get away from the one thing that was successfully breaking me into little pieces. Why try to get away anymore?_

_"Alice, I'm worried for you." _His_ voice was soft and concerned, but I'd heard it twisted into malice and hate a bit too much for me to feel safe with his kind and worried tone. It didn't make me feel anything, really. _

_"Why would you be worried?" I stated it rather than asked it, and I felt his hand on my shoulder. I didn't shy away; I didn't move into the touch. I just sat there, my bed not comfortable, not uncomfortable. It just, was._

_"You seem far, far away from reality, my little friend." His tone was light and joking, but I didn't react. I couldn't react. I just nodded to myself, making it seem like I was nodding to him. I hardly felt when he moved away, but that didn't matter. It was lights out soon, and I'd find myself enveloped in darkness, the only time where I felt ok. _

_You didn't have to act in the darkness. You didn't have to be anything in the darkness. It simply existed, a feat I'd been trying to succeed in but so far I've failed miserably._

_

* * *

_

The night was cool and gentle against my face as I lay back against the roof of the Cullen's home. The rough grainy texture against my back and good arm reminded me not to get too comfortable, but I was fine where I was anyway. The stars stood out against the inky black sky like pinpricks of diamond set in velvet, and for a moment I smiled. No matter how dark and enclosed I felt, it was nice to see something so beautiful and free.

I could hardly feel my skin against my bones, my body was so numb. The entire day had passed in awkward questions and reluctant answers, Dr. Brandon a begrudging help. Jasper had been there for me the entire time, half holding my hand, half stroking the skin right above the vein in my wrist. He would answer as best as he could, but the both of them could only answer so much.

He was out there, yes. He was most likely tracking me, yes. He wanted me, yes. He changed Dr. Brandon, yes. How'd he been changed? Had those vampires finally come around and decided to change him after all? After all of these years? No one would tell me why they would wait… they were all tight lipped about the specifics…

I sighed softly and folded my numb arms against my numb chest, shaking the cool shirt out slightly, letting more cold in. Though it was supposed to be spring time, it was still cold and damp in Forks. I didn't mind it too much though; at least the clouds didn't cover the vast expanse above my eyes.

He wanted me. This time I felt the goose bumps rise on my skin at the thought. He would hunt me down until I was finally like him, or dead. Which was worse? An eternity with him hunting me in a sick, twisted, mythical way, or dying at the expense of his bloodlust? I shifted restlessly, safety not even finding me here, enclosed by an entire coven of vampires. The werewolves couldn't help me-not in their overbearing, sarcastically pushy way-and the vampires didn't know what to do. How could they know? Even with vampires, this was out of the ordinary. A psychotic kid wanting to be like them, becoming them, and hunting a human down to make her like him; it was out of their league.

"I knew I would find you up here." The words were softly spoken, a hint of slight amusement in the tone, but I didn't react. Why should I? He would read my mind for the answer anyway; there was no sense in speaking.

"I try not to invade people's privacy too much." There was no remorse in his voice, only the gentle delight for some odd reason. What did he have to be happy about?

"Many things are going right, for one. My brother has found someone to care for… that's another good one. You're safe, which brings happiness whether you know it or not." His tone changed to a thoughtful air that made me wary, but I kept gazing up at the sky. I wouldn't let him ruin my perfectly numb ambience that the cool air and the cold sky brought to me. Blessed numb. My visions weren't out of control, as if they were resting right along with me, too.

"Yes, I noticed that too. You don't like your visions." It wasn't a question, and I didn't really need to think of an answer. He knew I hated them; the nosy vampire had probably seen that in my head countless times.

"Not as many times as you think… sometimes you depend on them to gauge what your actions will be. I think you'd be even more crippled without them." There was that smug tone again, as if he knew who I was. Did he know me, just because he knew my thoughts? He chuckled softly, and I frowned.

"No, it just gives me insight. I can't read all of your thoughts, just the ones you're having at the time. They can be very dark sometimes." I let out a low laugh at that, something that was half strangled and muted. Pictures flew through my mind, showing me my own past, showing me why I was dark, why I was sinister and strange to some people. My small, narrowed face with large purplish shadows under my eyes like I didn't sleep… strange icy eyes that were always so distant, seeing something I didn't want to see… short hair that seemed to find its way into my eyes , dark enough to add to my pallor… when had I changed?

"When you started talking to that boy." Edward informed me softly, and I didn't realize that he was right next to me until I felt the cool air press between our sides. He was laying down beside me, staring up at the sky like I was, arms folded over his chest. I closed my eyes to ignore the shudder that went through me when he mentioned that thing that should be contained in a locked cage. I could see his face in my mind so clearly, and when it registered that we strangely similar looking, I jerked back and opened my eyes back up to the inky black sky.

"I just want him gone." I whispered softly, and my visions stirred at my words. It was like I could feel them in my mind, sliding past the recesses in my mind, easily pushing through the walls I'd tried to build… like I'd just made them doorways instead. They wanted to show me something, but that something had to do with vampires or werewolves because I couldn't see anything. I could never see anything when it came to them. Never.

"We'll take care of him; you don't need to worry." I inwardly blanched at how he was trying to sound reassuring, like he was trying to take control of the situation he knew was slipping. You couldn't control situations around me; I was too unpredictable. I didn't know what I would do; I couldn't control what I did. It didn't matter because sometimes I would do things… sometimes I'd act without thinking… repeating the same things over and over again… hoping for a different reaction each time…

God, I was insane.

"No, you're not." Edward said firmly, but I ignored him. How could he know, anyway? Did he delve into crazies' heads all day, seeing what made them tick? How could he tell what was insane, and what wasn't?

"You have a conscience. You can see the line between right and wrong, and you understand it. You have lucid thoughts." _And not so lucid ones,_ I thought wryly. My visions jumped around me, a testimony to that.

"My point is, you show signs of such humane activity that you couldn't be insane. I've seen the mind of someone out of control, Alice, and you're not it." I sighed listlessly, eyes open to the deep dark abyss that swirled above me, the stars sparkling invitingly. I just wanted to be alone, couldn't he see that?

Edward sighed too.

"I was sent up here to offer you food, but you don't seem hungry. If you need anything, please don't make Esme upset by not asking." I didn't hear any movement to signify that he'd left, but I felt the slightly warmer air back by my side. Edward, it appeared, was cooler than air temperature, even around here. He was right though; I wasn't hungry. I didn't feel the desire to eat food; what did it matter?

With his departure though, I felt the numbness leaving me. My feelings of unease, fear, and weariness were settling back in on my shoulders, leaving me slightly dismal as I stared up at the now swollen sky. It was black, a ruddy, blemishing color. It was a stain in the usually beautiful sky, and the fat moon that sat with it was a dull color. My evening of peace was ruined.

Settling up into a crouch, I turned and focused my gaze on the slightly slanted roof, taking one slow step after the other. My balance was rather good despite my awkward limbs, and I made it to the window in no time. As I was stepping in though, I had the unpleasant experience of almost running into another member of the Cullen Clan.

"Oh!" I was startled, unexpectedly staring into his gold eyes, and my good arm swung up to block my face, swinging me back onto my rear. The momentum, added with my flailing arms, flipped me over again, and I began to slide down the roof, eyes shut tight against the inevitable.

But, of course, the inevitable never came because something grabbed hold of my shoulder, wrenching me out of the air like I weighted nothing. I swung about, midair, until I landed against something hard and ungiving. My eyes popped open and I looked up at Jasper, the numb feeling fading now that adrenaline decided to set in my veins.

"Are you ok?" He asked worriedly, a line set between furrowed brows as he assessed me.

"Just peachy." I mumbled under my breath, feeling awkward pressed this close to him. I could feel his cold skin as if he wasn't wearing a light jacket, and I could feel his slow breathing beside my neck. Sensing my unease, he swung about and in the blink of an eye we were on the other side of the house, a flatter, more stable area. I slumped down onto the toughened tar and drew my knees up slightly, resting my cast on my knee. I felt Jasper settle down next to me, and then silence.

"You want to be alone." It wasn't a question, and I inwardly laughed sourly. This family was good at guessing games.

"Yes." It was rude, but I couldn't bring up the desire to care. Not with so many things awakening in my mind with the adrenaline pumping in my ears. Jasper didn't seem offended though, merely amused. I shook my head and snuck a glance over at him, my stomach fluttering on its own accord when I saw his half smile.

"I can't let that happen though." I forced myself to look away from him and his smile and I focused on the way the stars didn't seem so dull anymore. Why was that?

"Far be it from me to deny you your amusement." I replied sarcastically, trying to fight of the buzz of calm happiness that he was trying to give me. I knew that he could feel my every unhappy emotion, but I wanted to wallow in them for awhile, thank you very much. They comforted me… in a sick, strange way.

"Far from amusement, Alice. I know… you feel annoyed because we're not answering questions." I raised an eyebrow sardonically, and he hurried on as if sensing that I was about to interrupt. "I recall you having a few questions a couple of days ago that I never answered." I whipped my head around, eyes narrowed in suspicion at the relaxed tone he had, but he gave no other movement than a small smile that ghosted around his eyes.

"I… well, I kind of pieced things together, but yes… I have questions." I smiled down at my hands, knowing which one I wanted to ask the most. I pushed it away though, settling for other things.

"The werewolves don't like you guys." I finally spoke, finding one that interested me the most. Jasper nodded more to himself than me, as if thinking of how to reply. As if subconsciously, his hands steepled together.

"They were created to protect tribes." He said slowly, pulling the information out of nowhere. "The tribe was very strong, strong enough to create spiritual bodies that could harness the bodies of other beings… such as wolves." He smiled more to himself than me, and I could almost imagine him coming across a memory he liked. "One of the enemies happened to be us... vampires. They are fast, they are strong, and it's almost like they were made to counter balance our sickeningly sweet, deceptive way of finding out prey. They are our opposites. High temperature, low temperature; dark, light; husky, smooth; quick tempered, patient; earthy musk, sweetened candy… killing machines just like us." His smile turned a tad bitter. "Jacob was meant to be their alpha, but he didn't want their fate in his hands. He controls himself better than the actual alpha, no?"

"He doesn't like Edward." I tacked on, feeding him fuel to keep him talking. I wanted his low, rich voice to continue its melody.

"No, he and Edward have always locked heads whenever there's any contact with them. Marie always got between them whenever she had the chance to, and I believe Jacob secretly fears she can sympathize with us because we are 'vegetarian'. It makes him hate Edward all the more because she doesn't see us as a dangerous enemy… just her love's enemy." His lips twisted wryly and he glanced over at me.

"You can be dangerous." I agreed softly, picturing him with vampire-like features, and I shuddered. It grew quiet, and I felt Jasper shift, a slightly warmer air slipping between us as his cold body moved away.

"Ask me a question." Jasper suddenly whispered, and I looked over at him, alarmed at the tone in his voice. He seemed agonized, his bottom lip captured between his teeth, and his gold eyes were glassy. I hurried back to the list in my head, anxious to see that look gone.

"I'm different from other humans, scent wise… why?" Jasper grew completely still at that, and his face changed slowly in thought as he concentrated on my question.

"It's what Edward calls, 'la cantante,". The singer, in this case, would be for blood. For some reason your blood sings to me in a way that no other blood could. We thought I wouldn't have that problem because all blood smells the same way, but maybe that's why yours stood out so much against the other, duller smells. It hit harder because it was the only one different. It means I'm tied to you, Alice. Your blood makes me yours." I looked over at him to judge the look on his face, but he gave me nothing other than a complacent stare. He wasn't kidding.

I don't know what I was expecting from my question, but that answer wasn't exactly it. He was mine? It sounded so… final. Like nothing could be done. Did he want that? I couldn't tell, not from the look he was giving. Why would he want to be bound to someone?

"How… does that make you feel?" My voice trailed off guiltily, and I looked back up at the stars. I wasn't sure exactly why my heart was thudding for his answer, but it was overwhelming to feel. It was like a balloon was building up in my chest, and I couldn't stop it.

"At first, I wanted to kill you. I was so… angry that something like this was here to ruin my family's happiness. The family I was always struggling to keep up with on our diet, and then you arrived, neatly packaged and… alone. And yet, I couldn't. I grew to be curious instead of angry, and I saw how you were different from other humans. It wasn't necessarily by choice, but it separated you. And… I could feel such a strong emotion from you, something dark, and sad. It was stronger than most humans' feelings, and underneath it there was fear, and recklessness that coincided with one another. You then spoke, and your words seemed deeper than what they seemed to be.

"Alice, by the time I realized what I was doing, I was already too deep to try to stop it. I couldn't get enough of you. I was trying to stay away to keep you safe, to keep everyone safe, but you wouldn't let me." I ducked my head apologetically. "It worried me that you were in as deep as I was, but I couldn't pull away. I want your blood so bad it burns, but I want you even more than your blood." A heavy silence fell across my ears at that, and I stared straight ahead, mind whirling. A fluttering feeling spread from my stomach to my fingers and toes, and my head felt light. What was he saying, that he was in love with me? I closed my eyes to gather my thoughts.

"When I tried to kiss you?" The words popped out of my mouth on their own, and I clapped my hands over my mouth in horror. What was I doing?! He tells me he can't not be with me, and I ask him about me trying to kiss him? Where did that come from? Jasper didn't laugh though; he didn't make any movement other than a slight shift as he looked at me.

"This is the first time this has ever happened to me. I… don't want to ruin it by losing control." He laughed bitterly and I looked back at him, alarmed. His hands were clasped tightly and his face was stone cold and emotionless as he thought.

"How would you lose control?" I asked curiously, slightly confused. He didn't answer at first, probably trying to slow his thoughts to help me keep up as he delved for an appropriate answer.

"If I let any kind of instinct take over for one moment… it could be your last moment. Loving someone, being with someone… it puts all of our emotions on edge, and because you're human," He flashed a quick look at me, eyes sorrowful, "Giving into those kinds of things could put you in danger." He shook his head, probably unhappy with how he'd worded things.

"In danger of…?" I let my question hang in the air.

"Death." He whispered, frowning at the way it slipped from his teeth like a curse. I shook my head and laughed quietly, but I'm sure he heard it anyway. Vampires, it seemed, were fast, had acute hearing, smelled good, and looked good. His hearing was just too good.

"I've seen my death for awhile now… maybe it wasn't just you that was planning to kill me…" I mused, letting one of my theories test the air around us. Jasper was suddenly very still, and I could feel his gaze on me as I continued staring out into the black expanse. I ignored it, the numb feeling beginning to creep back into my system. That's it, let me bask in the dismal fact that I was a target wherever I went.

"What do you mean?" He asked me softly, his voice a caress in the wind. I ignored the shiver down my spine and I sighed.

"Death doesn't faze me, Jasper. Sure, I'll get a knee jerk reaction of fear, but I just don't care anymore. If I die, I die. He's been after me the moment we were ever considered friends, and I'm tired of being scared and worried and tense." As if to make a point my hands shook as I pictured him. "It will be even easier for him to find me since he's a mythical being that he's always wanted to be… but he's coming for me, either way, and I can't find it in me to fear death anymore. All I'm scared of is him." I felt my visions stirring up, but I couldn't see anything. Something about vampires, something about him. I shook my head, suddenly tired.

Something cold pressed against my hand, and I looked down, bewildered, and saw that Jasper held one of my hands tenderly, softly. I looked slowly up at his face, and I saw my fear echoing in his eyes. I didn't say anything, what was there to say? I felt my lips trembling softly, and I clenched my jaw to still them. Jasper squeezed my hand softly, and with his free hand he reached up slowly, eyes locked with mine as he brushed his cold fingers against my lips, stilling the shaking. His eyes closed slowly, and his hand went from my lips to my cheek, sliding down the side to rest on my neck, palm against my pulse. No fear went shooting through me, no ice went down my spine. If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead.

Seconds wore by, my pulse hammering underneath his touch, his eyes closed to the world as he touched me, as if savoring it. My breath was light, my blood burned, and my heart beat harshly against my ribs as he didn't move a muscle, silently asking me to do the same. What was this? His eyes opened slowly, and he observed my steady gaze, something in his resolve breaking. Releasing my throat, he shook his head, turning slightly away.

"What, what's wrong?" I whispered to him, surprised by his sudden change in moods. What did I do now?

"You should be scared." He whispered, voice strange. "You should be scared to be this close to me, but you're not." I laughed at his words, and his head snapped back to me, eyes narrowed as he assessed me.

"Your emotions are shot, and you feel out of control." He said the words like he hated the taste of them. Nodding slowly, I got onto my knees and carefully scooted towards him. My actions felt out of control, and I surrendered to instincts, to the desire to prove something to him. He just didn't get it! The cool air pressed against my skin as I moved around one of his sprawled legs and faced him head on.

Cautiously, I moved closer, watching as his face went from wary to curious to nervous in one fell swoop of a second. Letting my hands graze down his arms, I imagined that I could feel the bite marks on his skin, and I felt sympathy wash through me. As I pressed as close to him as I could get, I stood up slowly, keeping my balance by pressing my fingers against his pale, granite skin that shone in the moonlight like crystal. With the tilt of the roof and his height versus mine, I was just about a head taller than him standing up, and I laughed softly as I realized this. He kept watching me, something wary in his gaze.

Wrapping my slender, shaking hands around his neck, I looked down at him with solemn eyes, catching his anxious stare with one of my own before I smiled softly. Maybe now he'd understand.

"Alice, what are you-" I leaned down, pressing my neck against his mouth, his words cutting off as a hiss passed through his lips.

The silence around us was biting, the air suddenly taking on an edge I hadn't felt before. The wind chilled me now, even with his cold skin against mine. I kept my breathing even though, and I didn't jerk and move about as his arms reached around and hugged my legs a little too tightly, locking me in place. I could feel his legs tightening around me, but still I kept my breathing going, in and out, in and out.

My neck was on fire, and my blood raced beneath the skin, teasing him I'm sure, and as if to prove this, a soft growl escaped from lips that felt crushed against the hollow of my throat. The seconds ticked by, but I didn't move and neither did he. We were locked in an inward battle that both of us were raging.

"There now," I murmured to him, sliding my fingers up his neck and into his soft hair, hesitant in my actions but nonetheless acting anyway, "This isn't so bad, is it?" He didn't respond, and I didn't expect one. Slowly though, his breathing ragged, he pulled me away from him, his hands resting heavily on my narrow waist as he glared at me with burning eyes.

"Alice." He said the words in a raw tone that I wasn't sure whether I liked. I stared back innocently though, unabashed.

"If you wanted me dead, I'd be dead." I replied, ignoring the hiss his breathing made. "You weren't going to do anything." I added softly, tapping my head. "I didn't see any danger." Jasper shook his head slowly, gold eyes on fire.

"Please don't do that to me again." He rasped, and suddenly I was crushed against him, the breath stolen from my lungs as he hugged me tightly. I curled up against him, ignoring the clamoring in my head as my mind pulled itself apart, trying to get a grasp back on reality. The desire to live in the moment won over though, and I smiled softly.

"Sorry…" I mumbled half-heartedly. I felt him nodding, and I felt that I was forgiven. The tension fell from my mind as he replaced it with something a bit less stressful, and my heart slowed.

"Can you tell me something?" He asked after several moments of silence. I looked up at his light profile, and I nodded slowly, waiting for him to give me a question.

"I've told you my story… now can you tell me yours?" I felt the tension rise in the back of my throat as my mind was attacked by memories wanting to fall from my mouth, wanting to be heard. What would I say? He was already clued into my crumbling sanity, what more did he want to know? Sighing, I leaned back and looked up at the inky black sky with swirls of light mixed in. Slowly, I nodded.

"Once upon a time…" I whispered softly into the night.

* * *

_Hit or miss? Only you can tell! :D_


	26. Estoy Nada II

_I'm back! Finished this up thanks to a message from a reader who really made me get in gear to get this chapter up! :) Thanks._

_Excuses? None... I'm just lazy. Sorry :(_

_WARNING: This is Alice's past, including some events in the insane asylum for Just a Dream. The beginning flash back is rated M for MATURE, so if you're queasy or don't like the idea of psychopathic girl's with visions going a little crazy, then skip past it. Just warning you before reading, but I actually like it... it's the best portrayal of her past that I've ever done. So, enjoy!_

_Here you go :)_

_

* * *

_

_They were killing me slowly._

_It was a matter of time… but I would die by their hand. They controlled me, told me how to live, told me what to do. I used them, and in turn they used me, devouring my mind like hungry, prowling fiends. It was only a matter of time._

_Why wait?_

_I stared down at the object, the innocent, clean, sharp object. A razor from an attendant's purse. Why did she have it? I giggled at the idea of an attendant here having psychological problems. Why didn't she share a space with me?_

_Use me.__ It whispered softly, and I touched the cool metal, confused. Should I? My visions spiraled, and I frowned even more, looking up at the camera. My back was twisted, so it just looked like I was staring at my hands, but I needn't worry anyway; they wouldn't notice. The place was too cheap to actually have tapes for their cameras. It would be when someone got an intuition that something was wrong that I'd be caught. _

_No time to lose, then. They attacked me, sending me down, down, down, my head at my knees, my fist against my temple, trying to push them out. Please, please, __please__, leave me alone!_

_No time to lose._

_Use me__._

_Tears in my eyes as my head pounded angrily, I pushed the blade against my skin, watching as nothing happened. Where was the pain, the release? Blinking back tears, I angrily pushed harder, furious when nothing happened. Yanking my hand back, I let out a soft gasp as the sharp blade suddenly slid against my skin at the right angle, giving me the strange satisfaction at seeing the sharp contrast against my pale skin. They didn't like this though, and pushed harder against my head, showing me something sick and looming up ahead for me; red, red, and lots of red. I was drowning in it, and I cried out, falling from my chair. Why wouldn't they stop!? Didn't that cut mean anything?!_

_Use me more._

_I mumbled something and slashed again, gasping slightly as another jagged red line appeared, but still they pressed against my head, pushing against my temples, screaming at me from all sides. _

_"Get… out…" I groaned in pain and slashed again, wincing as the pain in my mind increased. Why wouldn't it leave me alone?! The blade was shining with my blood, my sick, red, blood, and I realized that the blade was hungry. It was hungry? I was full. It could take what it wanted from me. _

_They didn't like that._

_They pushed, they prodded, they sent me to my knees, begging me to see, forcing me to see the red that washed in front of my eyes until all I could see was red. All I could feel was the blade's hunger. It pushed me, it yanked me; it wanted me as bad as I wanted it._

_"Get. Out." The growl sounded strange from my lips, but I hardly noticed. Lights danced in front of my eyes, lights that hurt me, lights that send my head reeling in pain, the pressure at my temples building and building into a huge cacophony of pain, pain that wouldn't leave me alone. Why wouldn't it leave me alone?!_

_"Get out of my head!!" The words ripped from me, my hands pressed against my skin, the blade flat against my face, pushing, pushing, and pushing. I screamed, and the blade reached out for me, starving for my skin. It staved for me; why deny it? I let out a shaky breath, tears falling as the visions spiraled, making me choke as I tried to push them away. My wrist, sliced open, seemed too small to make them go away; they had to go away. They couldn't get out that way… how could I expect them to? Desperate, I fumbled across my arms, leading up to the points that mattered. The main artery right underneath my arm? No, too fast. I wanted to feel them leave, to feel the visions finally give me my freedom. The hungry metal crawled across my arms, up my shoulder, feeling for the heavy, thudding pulse at my neck. _

_Use me._

_It bit lightly, tasting my skin, leaving a small red trail. A sigh, soft in my pounding ears, escaped my lips, and I giggled. _

_They didn't like that. _

_They attacked, pressing against me, suffocating my breath, throwing me onto the floor as pictures of things to come screamed in my ears, rushed through my head, taking away everything that I'd just accomplished. No, no, no, no, no-_

_"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed, fingers fumbling for the knife, fumbling for the release from this __torture__. There was a sound outside of my door, a key scraping in a lock, and I screamed again, gripping the knife tight as I plunged it toward my neck, not caring where I hit, as long as I hit somewhere that mattered. Behind me, a shout of shock and concern, and I felt someone reaching around me, trying to get a hold of me. _

_"NO, NO, NO, NO-" I struggled, fighting, lifting myself up, the luscious red running down my neck and onto my starched white shirt, staining the ugly, pure color with something a little more realistic. My visions scattered at the pain, trying to grab onto my slipping mind as the knife called to me, called to my skin, hungry for more. I hadn't hit a good spot, apparently. _

_I'd just have to try harder, then._

_"Alice, stop, Alice, what's going on?! I need some assistance here!!" The attendant struggled with me, but I was too slippery; she didn't want to grab onto my slick, wet skin. The blood fell faster as I let out a blood curdling cry and kicked up, flinging away from her. _

_Use me._

_I stuck the blade into my skin, demanding it, no, begging it to eat at me. Take away the pain. My vision was spotted red, half of me in the present, half of me in the future. It wasn't gone yet? I'd fix that. I pulled it out, going for my arm, trying to hit the main artery. My knees buckled, and I fell, scrambling away from the attendant as she tried to get help while also retaining me. _

_"Alice, give me the blade; we'll help you." She tried soothing me, but I just laughed, a sick, pathetic noise, and I pulled the blade from my skin, trying to decide where it would matter. I hardly heard her words, her soothing tones, her nasty, __sick__, lying words. I was too lost in my own mind, too lost in __their__ consuming words. _

_"Get… out… GET OUT-" They weren't gone though, and I gave a strangled cry as I yanked the blade from my skin again, aiming for my throat and missing, the knife skinning my collar bone. _

_And then they came._

_It was pandemonium, the doctors and attendants rushing about, grabbing me from all sides, and I screamed against their hands at my mouth, biting and scratching as they struggled to contain me. Contain me?! They couldn't contain the pain that danced in front of my eyes, the pain that made me grip the blade, begging it to help me; why wouldn't it help me?!_

"_Unit D attendants, attention all unit D attendants, we have a code blue situation in room number 84, please assist in dispatching the problem immediately, I repeat, all unit D attendants, please assist in dispatching the problem immediately. Attention all unit D attendants-" The voice droned on and on, but my ears were lost to them. My eyes were lost to the swirling abyss around me, screaming and shouting all in one loud rumble that passed by my senses as deaf and lusterless. I was struggling-oh how I remember __struggling__, but it made no difference. _

_Red. All red._

_There were shouts of order, screams of help, and the sounds of many feet rushing nauseatingly together as the attendants fought to gain control of me, but where was it? Where was I? Out of control, screaming, struggling against them, fighting like I'd never fought before, biting and scratching and punching and kicking. _

_Everything bathed in red. _

_"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Above the clamor around me, I was aware of one voice, one voice that stood out amongst the sea of yelling and so called soothing voices. I couldn't see him though; I couldn't see him in the sickening red abyss that loomed over me and wrenched me under, and as I was submerged in blood I let out a bone chilling scream, jerking against the doctors and kicking one in the face, successfully breaking free from their strangle hold. _

_It spit me out onto the white washed beach, the red staining my clothes in a sticky substance, and I was painfully aware of the waterfall on my neck, the waterfall that made the room swim like a pool of iridescent crimson. I was blissfully aware that I held a greedy device in my hand; a razor blade that was hungry for me. I could hear it calling for me, teeth ready to bite into me, to chew the madness out of my head. It was too much to bear, and my silver friend was ready to take the madness away. God bless him; he wasn't blessing me._

_"Dr. Brandon, she's snapped, attempted suicide; we can't get to her without her fighting us. She's got a weapon and she's stabbed a nurse." I giggled despite myself, dancing away from reaching hands, obliging my friend and swinging, swinging, swinging into the rush of red around me, letting him rip and tear at everyone else, letting him take a bite of what was rightfully his. My friend deserved it, no? He was helping me out, and as if to second this thought I spat out the sticky substance from my mouth, screaming something when someone came too close. _

_"What are we going to do? She's her own hostage-"_

"_Alice, you need to stop-"_

"_Will someone get the damn tranquilizer?!" _

_I felt the world tipping as my visions exploded, bathing me in red as I let out a strangled sob, pushing away from the waves, the sickness in my stomach making me yank my silver demon back, reaching for my flesh, the lust reflecting off of it's beautiful, longing surface._

"_Someone stop her, she's going to kill herself!" I eyed their red stained clothes, their panic ridden faces, and I smiled to myself. This was a good way to go._

_And yet, they wouldn't let me go._

_I didn't see him come from the side. I didn't see him until I was picked up from behind, the blade snatched from my hand, sending my mind into sick waves as I screamed in surprise and fury, kicking out and up, fists clenched, ready to fight to the end, but what end was there? _

_I couldn't remember anymore. _

"_Alice, stop it." His voice was right in my ear as the sea of people rushed about me, someone pulling along a bed, a clean white bed, and he laid me upon it, the straps binding me, pulling me down, taking me away, and his voice continued over the screaming that tore from my lungs, the begging and the crying, the sick red pouring from me like a river, my hands clenching against air, my face twisted into panic as I cried against the pain. _

_It was all consuming, the pain that pushed against my temples, and with a sob I fought, I fought against the hands that pushed the cart, I fought the cart that pulled me down, down, down into the dark abyss that swallowed me whole and refused to let me go as the red that surrounded me strangled me slowly._

* * *

"Once upon a time," I whispered into the dark night. Behind me, Jasper shifted ever so slightly, and I felt cold hands touch my wrists.

"You start all of your stories like fairy tales?" He asked in hushed tones, the words velvety soft in the air. I smiled despite myself, and I settled deeper into the small hollow he'd created with his body around me. Lazily, I nodded and gave a soft sigh, trying to find where to start my entire tale. With the very beginning, like he had? With the beginning of my insane asylum years? Maybe the beginning of my existence as a psychic…

"What comes after once upon a time?" Jasper asked curiously, voice soft and caressing. I let out another sigh, trying to find the beginning of this entire nightmare I couldn't seem to wake up from. Sensing my hesitance and worry, he let his hands ghost over my hands, lightly touching my clenched fists. He could feel my tension, and in turn it had probably made him tense as well. Feeling slightly apologetic, I forced myself to relax, rolling my shoulders back and letting my fingers extend and lay limply on my knees.

"Once upon a time…" My voice caught, and I froze, hating how my throat had tightened and tears had collected around my eyes. I blinked, trying to force them back, but to no avail. Lifting my head back, I turned up to face the sky, hoping they wouldn't run over. Jasper remained quiet behind me, but I could feel his unease at the situation. He was being rather patient with me though, and I silently thanked him.

Was it so hard to speak?

Yes, it was. It was hard to relive the entire episode that I'd become accustomed to; living it was hard enough. Within me though was the burning desire to tell him, to let him see why I did the strange things I did. No one had understood it before. Now was my chance.

"Once upon a time… there was a little girl." The words sounded bitter in my mouth, but I ignored it. Closing my eyes, I leaned back farther and felt my back lightly press against his chest. He moved slowly, pulling my relaxed hands up and linking his fingers through mine, as if to reassure me. Grateful, I plodded on. "This girl lived in a kingdom far, far away. She lived with her mother, and her father… and the house's cleaning crew." My breathing slowed as the words passed my lips, and I was relieved that it wasn't as difficult to speak as before.

"She seemed like a happy girl, growing up with everything she'd ever wanted… her mother was attentive to every little thing she'd needed… but not necessarily wanted. Her father was the detached, businessman who would give her many gifts to keep her complacent. At the age of four, she was considered spoiled, and loved every minute of it.

"But this little girl had a deep, dark, terrible secret.

"She could see things. She could see things before they ever happened, things that were good, things that were bad… things that were sick. She was only a little girl, and these things frightened her, and made her scared whenever it happened after she'd already seen it. She'd mostly see bad things, things that people would do without getting caught, and they'd steal away into the night like bandits. They'd never be found for those bad things… but she saw them." I frowned as pictures popped into my mind, and Jasper breathed softly behind me. Sensing my unease, Jasper leaned down, lips close to my ear.

"What was this little girl's name?" He asked curiously. I let out a breathy whisper of a laugh, looking forward into the darkness.

"The little girl's name was-"

"Is," Jasper corrected me, chuckling.

"is… Mary Alice Conners. She hated her first name though, so she simply went by Alice.

"Her visions… were scary. She couldn't control them, and if she tried to fight them, it hurt. When she tried to tell her mother though, her mother simply ignored her, telling her that she needed to stop pretending and live in the real world. Alice, the silly girl, would have loved to live in the real world. But she couldn't… no matter how hard she tried.

"She told her father, she told her family's friends… they all smiled at her and ignored her… she was a child; what did she know? But she'd seen death before… and secretly, her mother was afraid of her for that simple fact. Her mother told her to never, ever tell anyone about her gift because people were jealous, but little Alice knew better. She saw visions of how people really, truly, were, and knew that they were scared of her.

"She didn't have friends. They always rejected her, telling her that there was something strange about her, something that just didn't fit right. She told her mother this, but the woman simply smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear, telling her to, 'shush and be a good girl'. And then… her father realized she was telling the truth." My story stopped for a moment, and I blinked, tears forming again as I remembered that day oh so clearly. Jasper tightened his grip on my hands, sensing my distress. I smiled through my tears, but it hurt so badly.

_"Daddy, daddy!" I rushed to him, happy and excited. Setting his briefcase down, he leaned down to give me a stiff hug, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. My mom came up and stood behind me, her head tilted as she smiled softly at him, albeit warily. She could guess that something was wrong. _

_"Bad day at the office?" She guessed, face crinkling as she gave him a kiss on the cheek. I knew what was wrong though, and I stared up at him with wide, solemn eyes. He smiled though, a forced smile, and nodded. _

_"Very busy." He agreed, returning her hug with one of his own. _

_"No, it wasn't." I didn't know why I was speaking, but my lips moved on their own. Mommy and daddy looked down at me, surprised looks on their faces. _

_"Honey, what-"_

_"It wasn't busy at the office today, was it, daddy?" I asked gravely, turning to face him. He was staring down at me strangely, his face twisted between horror and surprise, his hand nervously adjusting his tie. _

_"What do you mean, sweetie?" He asked with gritted teeth. _

_"It wasn't busy today until you did something with the secretary that took her clothes off for you." I informed them solemnly. The silence that followed was thick, and choking. My mother's eyes grew wide for a moment before they suddenly narrowed and she turned to face daddy, daddy who's eyes were wide and his mouth slack. His hand was motionless on his tie. _

_And then his face transformed._

_"You little _bitch_!" He snarled, reaching for me, eyes dark with fury and mouth twisted. I screamed, ducking away from him, scrambling to get away from the way his dark, bottomless eyes that seemed to grow as he attempted to run after me. _

"… They argued that night. I remember the screaming… the accusations… I remember something shattering, and the next morning the maids swept up the glass roses that had been an anniversary present." I numbly informed him, not realizing that my grip had tightened on his hands. "I know remember my father screaming at her, saying that, 'I wasn't normal,' and, 'that child was too strange to be his,'. He said that I was an eerie child and needed help. My mother came downstairs with a bruise on her arm." My voice broke and I went a little quiet, wondering when I'd suddenly switched from third person to first.

"I they began taking me to a family psychiatrist, but he said there was nothing wrong with me, just an over active imagination. I was seven when he lost it and demanded that I go to the insane asylum."

_"Honey, we're going on a little trip tomorrow." My mother looked up at me from the dinner table where I was debating whether or not to eat my veggies. I attempted looking ahead to see if I'd get in trouble for refusing, but another vision clouded my mind, stopping me from worrying about my greens for the second. _

_"Why?" I asked, looking at my dad and then my mom. They exchanged glances and daddy grabbed her hand, squeezing it and giving me a pointed look. _

_"We're going to a special place-"_

_"No, no, mommy… why are you leaving me?" I shook my head and set my fork down, watching her and waiting for her to speak. A dead silence fell over the table and they both exchanged looks. _

_"I don't know what you mean, Alice, dear." My mother said sweetly, her forehead creased. _

_"You're going to leave me in a cold, white building. I'm going to cry… but you'll keep walking and you won't look back." I said softly, the scene running through my mind like cartwheels, my stomach flip-flopping. Suddenly I wasn't hungry anymore. _

_My parents just stared at me with similar looks of horror on their face. _

"The next day I refused to leave my room… but my father made me anyway. I checked into the Biloxi Mississippi Insane Asylum with a bruise on my cheek.

It wasn't so bad… at first. I had a few different doctors, each one asking me what I saw, why I saw it… they were nice." I felt Jasper's light breath fan against my neck and I shivered.

"Why did they change the doctors around?" He asked softly, leaning in and letting his nose graze my shoulder through my shirt. I could taste the tension in the air, but I tried to repress it. My story wasn't what he thought it would be.

"They do that to see if there's one you work with better than the others. The one I got… was Dr. Brandon. He was really nice, but he didn't put any stock in my visions. He was always asking about my family, my home life, my likes and dislikes… he was different. He didn't talk about my visions until I told him one I'd seen where a girl in the insane asylum strangled herself with her sheets.

"The asylum wasn't so bad. They were really nice and always spoke gently to me. I wasn't too lonely; no one bothered to be my friend in the real world, why should it matter in a place where we were meant to be alone? The worst part was the screaming… some kids couldn't get better, no matter what happened. At night they'd cry and scream and it would hurt my ears… my parents didn't visit though… and I remember being sad. I remember… crying to Dr. Brandon about it.

"And then I met Cynthia.

"She believed my visions. She believed them like no one else did. It was agreed that I could have one friend out of the asylum come in, and Dr. Brandon put his daughter up to it so that he could easily monitor it. She was… intense. All too big smiles and always excited. She was nice though, and it was nice to have a friend. I knew it couldn't last though. No matter how many times I was told that I was sick and that the visions were fake, I knew they were real. When I saw myself eating chicken, we'd have it. When I saw Dr. Brandon trying to play a mind game I saw myself giving an answer and I always knew what to do to get what I wanted. It wasn't hard for me to be in a place that was manipulated by me.

"The visions got worse though…" I felt the lump building in the back of my throat and I leaned back farther, needing some kind of indication that I was in the present and wasn't reliving my past. Jasper, sensing this, immediately threaded his fingers through mine and distracted me by sliding his smooth, cool thumb over my wrist, calmly waiting for me to get the courage to speak again. I took a deep breath, and continued.

"As I got older… I started realizing just why I was there. Sure, I knew why before, but I began to grasp the concept of _insane_. It hit me that the more I believed them, the longer I'd be there… so I tried to stop seeing them. The thing about visions… I can't control them. I see what I see, and it was like having someone else in my head, jumping in randomly to let me in on something. It… hurt if I tried to stop it. Remember when I went crazy? It was a gradual decline… a slow depression fueled with fear, stress, and hysteria.

"It didn't hurt as bad as I thought… going crazy. I felt out of control, but I was out of it. I could hardly think let alone speak, and everyone was going _crazy_ trying to figure out what had happened to me. Cynthia was absolutely excited but worried. Dr. Brandon… I can't describe it. He was who brought me back. I don't know how, but he managed to find me in the darkness that I was lost in, and he made life bearable again.

"And then I met… _him_." I felt Jasper tense ever so slightly behind me as I said that, but I continued before he could say anything. The words were starting to tumble from my mouth, something that I couldn't stop even if I'd wanted to. I was powerless.

"You know why he was brought in. We met accidently in the hallway when we were going for checkups. He seemed different from the others who were lost. He was in total control of himself.

"So we began to hang out whenever we could." The wind blew softly, and I could smell the dew that lay gently around us, the air moist and no noise from animals nearby. The silence was peaceful even though I was telling a horror story.

"I don't know how long it took… before I began to see things about him that scared me. He began doing strange things like touching my neck at the pulse when he wanted it to be just me and him. He'd hold my wrist lightly, or link pinkies. He was content as long as we were touching in some way or other. Besides Cynthia and her over bearing perkiness, he was my only friend. I didn't mind it until it became… intense.

"He began lashing out at anyone who came too close, and he attacked an orderly when she called us, 'freaks'. He believed my visions, and he believed that they'd bring his vampire 'friends' back to him. The insanity I'd always feared and once tasted… was becoming all too real."

_"Mind if we share crayons?" A teenage boy with blonde hair and baby blue eyes smiled hesitantly down at me before I nodded absentmindedly and let him sit. His name was Roxas and had another person in his body named Sora. Today, he was Roxas though. Roxas was soft spoken and shy whereas Sora was bouncy and everywhere, excited and high strung. _

_"How's Sora been?" I asked softly, grabbing a green crayon and handing him a gray one. He always drew random keys or would show strange, black things that he called heartless. He always showed them eating people's hearts. _

_"He's been good. A little sad since he missed the day our parent's came." Roxas whispered back, tongue sticking out of his mouth as he drew with intense concentration. _

_"Tell him I say hi then, and I'm sorry he missed it." I replied, noticing that he gave a shy smile and nodded, obviously grateful. Roxas hated people trying to make him seem crazy and we got along because I always treated him and Sora as separate people who just shared the same body. Everyone else just thought he had an alternate personality._

_"Is he going to be able to see our mom and dad?" He asked me, and I grew quiet, trying to see ahead. Forcing myself to have a vision often gave me a headache, but it was worth it. Roxas was always nice to me. _

_"If neither of you force a day more than what you share, he'll see them." I promised. _

_"Thank you." Roxas said, grabbing the black crayon to squiggle in a heartless with armor. _

_"What the hell are you doing?!" Suddenly, Roxas was grabbed from behind and yanked onto the floor, an enraged boy standing over him, fists clenched around his shirt. Roxas stared up at him blankly before his face twisted into anger and he kicked up, dislodging him from half strangling him. _

_"What are you talking about?" Roxas snarled, moving in and pushing the other guy away. I backed up, glancing around the room to see the other people moving away too. Where were the orderlies? What was he doing out of his cell? My mind spun. _

_"Don't you ever touch her or talk to her. Ever." He lunged and landed a strong punch, sending Roxas back and onto the floor. Reeling around, he gave everyone else an evil, intense stare. "Anyone touches her, and I'll kill you all."_

"He didn't let me talk to anyone else. He tried to force my visions, and it… hurt. It became too much even though Dr. Brandon suspected, he couldn't get any papers through to really help. Finally… I took matters into my own hands.

"… You've probably never cut yourself. Let me say that it's not what everyone makes it out to be. But, to be fair, by the time I did it, I was so lost I could hardly register anything but the visions that were out of control. The more you force them, the more they stayed and the harder the present is to live in.

"I… tried to kill myself." My voice broke off as one of Jasper's fingers trailed over my neck to where a thick line crossed the side, and then he drug another agonizing finger across my collar bone where another one resided.

"I almost succeeded, too." I whispered.

"What stopped it?" Jasper's voice was raw, and painful.

"Dr. Brandon got to me from my blind spot and they managed to restrain me. I remember the blood… the screaming… everyone pressed tight against their doors as I was wheeled away from my room and into the hospital wing in critical. I remember waking up covered with tubes and bandages, and hating my life."

_Everything was a starch white. My vision was foggy, but I could see around the haze that blinded me, and I saw nothing but white light. There was no sign of blood, no sign of mayhem… it was like I'd never tried to end my life._

_The white light glared above me, and I blinked, seeing red behind my eyelids. Red. Blood red. Closing my eyes, I sighed softly. _

_"Alice…?" I looked over, dully, to see Dr. Brandon in a chair near mine, face ashen, hair rumpled. My throat was hoarse feeling and dry, and my body was weak. I didn't feel the pain, so it was assumed that morphine was being pumped into my veins. _

_"We were… you're ok." He seemed unsure what to say, and he looked down as if realizing that. _

_"Yes, I am." I forced my lips to shape the words that I didn't want to say. I could feel anger pounding along with my pulse, the tattoo of it against my ribs, strong and steady, reminding me that I was once again, alive. _

_"I'm so… relieved." He whispered, reaching out and taking my hand gently. I stared back at him, coldly._

_"I'm not." I hissed softly. He stared up, startled. _

_"I don't underst-"_

_"Do you think that if I wanted life, I would have stabbed myself?" Jerking my hand from his I reaching to my throat, a thick gauze wrapped taut around it. He merely stared back, eyes shiny and fake looking, like glass eyes behind his glasses. _

_"We had to save you, Alice." He said. _

_"Well, thank you, I suppose. Thank you for taking away the one thing that could cure me of my disease for good." _

"It was soon after that, he signed me up for testing at a facility to see if they could cure me. They ran tests… and found nothing. They began taking tissue and blood tests, dialysis, and medicines, drugging me up and pulling me down, trying to see what made me see what I saw. When Dr. Brandon realized this, he tried to stop the tests, but the contract was a two year agreement."

"I was released at the age of seventeen with the diagnosis that I was completely _sane_ and had wasted the last ten years of my life believing something that the doctors said was not true."

"And then… I came here."

* * *

_Hit or Miss? Let me know in a reiview, please. _

_Too much? Too little? I got out 10 pages before I decided to cut it off, so the next part will be up A.S.A.P!_

_Thanks for the support everyone! Please remember to review!_


End file.
